Anyone Else Feel Like They Will Never Get Ahead?

[Disneybuckeye]

I really hate to complain as I know so many other people have it so much worse than us, but I feel like every month we have have at least a thousand dollars in unplanned/unexpected expenses and I don't think it will ever end. In just the past few months we had to replace two car windshields at over $500.00, had to put new brakes on a car along with service that was over $700.00, DH glasses broke and spent over $200 after insurance to replace, DH and I need one crown each over $700 after insurance, DD had her wisdom teeth out $350 after insurance, city made us replace four sidewalk blocks in front of our house because they were slightly cracked $520.00, had to fix the air conditioning and calipers in another car at $1200.00, and the list goes on. DH also had a heart attack a couple of years ago and we are paying $275 oop every month for his medicine to stay alive (and yes we utilize flexible spending). We also have three children in college that we planned on, but our savings is being killed monthly by these other expenses. How does everyone do it? We try and save for a rainy day, but it seems to be raining everyday in our house.

 

[mrudman]

Don't really have any suggestions, but

Those medical expenses/monthly medications are killers!

And to have 3 kids in college at the same time!? No wonder you can't get ahead..

Sorry can't give you any helpful hints, but just keep plugging away and it's gotta start getting better soon. Can any of your kids take a job to help with the college expenses (if they're not already)?

 

[mrsltg]

Same here, OP! We also feel we can never get ahead. Everytime we feel as though we are getting somewhere, an unexpected expense comes along and we're seemingly back to square one. I am grateful to have the funds to cover the unexpected, but I would really like to get to a position where I could just feel peaceful about money. I wonder if I will every truly be able to feel that way?

 

[threecrazykids]

You are so NOT alone. Every single month I just want to cry because it just seems like no matter HOW much we try to save and scrimp it's never enough. There is always something. I know how you feel. You can only save so much...that's IF there is anything left at the end of the month to save. I've started reading Dave Ramsey and listening to his podcasts which really is motivational. It will get better...we're all in it together.

 

[Pembo]

My mom always assures me that once all the kids are gone, (out of college, married etc.) we'll have money. Lucky for my parents, they had kids young.

We are always chasing...medical bills are a real budget buster. You are not alone...

 

[eyor44]

I keep asking DH for just 6 months without any extra expenses. Now I'm down to just "2 weeks please without anything happening". Just keep trying.....

We did try giving up vacations for three years but all that did was make us miserable.

 

[scribega]

In just the past few months we had to replace two car windshields at over $500.00

Check with your car insurance agent about this. We have a $50 deductible on our insurance for this type of stuff. It doesn't count against your major claims and and it costs us only about an extra $5 every month. Seems like once a year one or both of the cars gets a cracked windshield.

 

[LadyBeBop]

Hugs from the Kentucky side of the river (Erlanger).

I think most of us think the same way. I can retire with full benefits in 4 1/2 years; however due to the economy, I don't think I can retire in the next 20 years. DH and I are supposed to be empty nesters by now; however my youngest daughter came back home, bringing her daugher (my DGD) along. And I co-signed for a few loans for my eldest daughter, and the finance company is hounding me. We make good money, and I work a ton of overtime, yet we just can not get ahead.

On the positives, we live in a nice condo in a good part of town. We have a fixed rate mortgage (30 years, but we're on track to have it paid off in about 22 years). And I hope you realize, we do live in a part of the country with a relatively low cost of living. Just think where we would be if we were in the Northeast or California. In fact, my eldest daughter turned down her dream job, because she would have to relocate to California, and after crunching the numbers, she realized she could never survive. Fortunately, she got a second chance, and the same job opened in Louisiana. She's down there now.

Yeah it seems like we can never catch up. But we're hanging in there. We aren't in trouble (yet, knock on wood). Just keep the faith, and we'll survive.

 

[patsal]

LOL, my Mom says the same thing about having money once the kids are out.

She had us much younger than we were when we had ours though!

OP I feel for you. We seem never to get ahead either. I am always doing a little something extra to bring in a bit more to pay off something and something happens to suck all the extra away. This year I taught summer school, made about $1200 total. I had to replace two garage doors--and one opener ($1300), get new brakes and tires ($700) and DS decided to go to college afterall! I am bracing myself for the expenses that his student loan will not cover--he is a stubborn kid who really believes he can pay for it himself..he has $7 in his checking account and recently lost his job

I guess if I didn't have the extra money the expenses would be a bigger burden, so I look at it that way. Though it is disappointing to never get ahead!

 

[rumrunnergirl]

.

 

[mrspopeye]

You are so NOT alone. Every single month I just want to cry because it just seems like no matter HOW much we try to save and scrimp it's never enough. There is always something. I know how you feel. You can only save so much...that's IF there is anything left at the end of the month to save. I've started reading Dave Ramsey and listening to his podcasts which really is motivational. It will get better...we're all in it together.

Dave Ramsey saved my home and my marriage. He is the bomb. I know some don't agree with all of his teachings, but give it a chance. I have been on his plan for about three years now- I have paid off everything except my home and my student loan, during which my husband had his income cut in half. We had a huge problem with the little expenses keeping us down, car repairs, kids need glasses, health insurance deductible, etc. Stuff we knew would happen, but never could really plan for appropriately. Dave will often joke about Xmas expenses, like we are shocked it came in December every year.
One thing we really changed was based on his idea of Lump Sum Payment Planning. I added up all the anticipated expenses for a year like tires, car and home repairs, deductibles, costs of going back to school, vision and dental expenses, car tags, Christmas, birthdays, baby and bridal shower gifts, and anything I could think of that seems unexpected, yet it is really wasn't. I was too focused on the monthy bills, then we would get hammered by everything else along the way. I needed to be putting back $800 a month for these things. So, when I made the budget, I had $800 a month auto deducted from our checks and put in a seperate savings account and I pull money as needed for those things. It made all the difference.
You absolutely have to live by a budget, every dollar has a name at the beginning of the month. It is painful, miserable and downright depressing to figure out how little money you have the first few times you make the budget. The papers are wrinkled with my tears. He doesn't say "rice and beans" for nothing. Once you get a little traction, you will never want to go back. It is very motivating. 3 years into this and we are in the best financial state we have ever been in. We gave up eating out, movies, vacations for the better part of that time, but I am going to Disney with cash, debt-free this fall. You can do it.

 

[wdwfan16]

Everybody feels this way at different times of their lives. OP, since you have savings to use that would mean that you have had times where you did get ahead. Those times will come back again.

 

[abmitch01]

one thing you could try is calling the companies that make DH's meds. Sometimes if the drug is costly, they have programs based on income to lower the OOP cost of the drug

 

[prncess674]

I really hate to complain as I know so many other people have it so much worse than us, but I feel like every month we have have at least a thousand dollars in unplanned/unexpected expenses and I don't think it will ever end. In just the past few months we had to replace two car windshields at over $500.00, had to put new brakes on a car along with service that was over $700.00, DH glasses broke and spent over $200 after insurance to replace, DH and I need one crown each over $700 after insurance, DD had her wisdom teeth out $350 after insurance, city made us replace four sidewalk blocks in front of our house because they were slightly cracked $520.00, had to fix the air conditioning and calipers in another car at $1200.00, and the list goes on. DH also had a heart attack a couple of years ago and we are paying $275 oop every month for his medicine to stay alive (and yes we utilize flexible spending). We also have three children in college that we planned on, but our savings is being killed monthly by these other expenses. How does everyone do it? We try and save for a rainy day, but it seems to be raining everyday in our house.

To the OP,

Are you seriously footing the bill for 3 kids in college but sweating where you are going to get the money for heart medication and basic auto repairs? I urge you to fill out the FAFSA and see what support your kids are eligible for via loans and grants. You are doing your kids a great disservice living hand to mouth now and not saving for your own retirement. If you don’t save for your own future you will become a huge burden on your children or you will die working yourself into the ground in your old age paying for a lifestyle you couldn’t afford. I know every parent wants to put their children through college but frankly your kids can borrow for college, you can’t borrow for retirement.

You need to have a serious sit down with your adult children about finances.

 

[Fintastic]

I feel the same way. DH's job is horrible and most of my paycheck goes to daycare.

 

[Disneybuckeye]

To the OP,

Are you seriously footing the bill for 3 kids in college but sweating where you are going to get the money for heart medication and basic auto repairs? I urge you to fill out the FAFSA and see what support your kids are eligible for via loans and grants. You are doing your kids a great disservice living hand to mouth now and not saving for your own retirement. If you don’t save for your own future you will become a huge burden on your children or you will die working yourself into the ground in your old age paying for a lifestyle you couldn’t afford. I know every parent wants to put their children through college but frankly your kids can borrow for college, you can’t borrow for retirement.

You need to have a serious sit down with your adult children about finances.

I would like to thank everyone for your responses. Sometimes it is just nice to know you are not alone with these struggles. To the poster above, yes, we are sort of living hand to mouth, but that is by design. We are contributing heavily to our retirement funds and putting money straight from paychecks into savings. Actually with the scholarships our children received their college is less than what we paid for them to go to high school and do a few outside activities. And we saved up money for them to go to college on our dime. If we could just have one month with just the normal everyday bills I would be estactic. We do have 6 months of income in savings, so we are not sweating paying for these extra expenses, but I just hate spending the money I worked so hard to save on sidewalks, car repairs, oh yeah, and the new washer, dryer, and dishwasher we had to buy within the last year. That is why I said I probably should not complain at the beginning of my post.
Good luck to everyone else who is struggling with me. To the poor family that is living on 1/4 of your income I really feel for you and pray things get better. We really are lucky and do feel a little bad venting when things could be so much worse.

 

[blessedmom4]

one thing you could try is calling the companies that make DH's meds. Sometimes if the drug is costly, they have programs based on income to lower the OOP cost of the drug

I have 2 children with major medical problems and my husband is ill. If you have insurance, the drug companies will NOT help you. I have some of the best doctors who have tried to help us and we have not found one drug company that will assist once they hear we have insurance.

 

[blessedmom4]

We really are lucky and do feel a little bad venting when things could be so much worse.

Everybody has a right to vent, I hope it helped!

 

[palavra]

Dave Ramsey saved my home and my marriage. He is the bomb. I know some don't agree with all of his teachings, but give it a chance. I have been on his plan for about three years now- I have paid off everything except my home and my student loan, during which my husband had his income cut in half. We had a huge problem with the little expenses keeping us down, car repairs, kids need glasses, health insurance deductible, etc. Stuff we knew would happen, but never could really plan for appropriately. Dave will often joke about Xmas expenses, like we are shocked it came in December every year.
One thing we really changed was based on his idea of Lump Sum Payment Planning. I added up all the anticipated expenses for a year like tires, car and home repairs, deductibles, costs of going back to school, vision and dental expenses, car tags, Christmas, birthdays, baby and bridal shower gifts, and anything I could think of that seems unexpected, yet it is really wasn't. I was too focused on the monthy bills, then we would get hammered by everything else along the way. I needed to be putting back $800 a month for these things. So, when I made the budget, I had $800 a month auto deducted from our checks and put in a seperate savings account and I pull money as needed for those things. It made all the difference.
You absolutely have to live by a budget, every dollar has a name at the beginning of the month. It is painful, miserable and downright depressing to figure out how little money you have the first few times you make the budget. The papers are wrinkled with my tears. He doesn't say "rice and beans" for nothing. Once you get a little traction, you will never want to go back. It is very motivating. 3 years into this and we are in the best financial state we have ever been in. We gave up eating out, movies, vacations for the better part of that time, but I am going to Disney with cash, debt-free this fall. You can do it.

I think your story is great, and we are following Dave Ramsey in a modified form too. However, I think you've missed the point of the OP's post. Believe me, if I had $800.00 extra a month, I would put it back for emergency expenses too.

 

[njmom47]

can I relate! My husband was on partial unemployment for the past 1 1/2 yrs but has a new job (with a pay cut of course) with the hopes of making more in the long run.
I do shake my head when I hear some of my friends say how broke they are. If they only knew what "broke" really means!