anyone else deal with something like this?

[SCHBR'smom]

My oldest DD has a rather large mole on her arm. It's been there since she was very small. I, of course, think it is beautiful, but she has issues with it. She was upset this morning because she didn't have the headband that she normally wraps around it when she got to school. I wasn't worried, but she was almost in tears because she wanted to cover up that mole. She doesn't like people asking about it and I know when she was in 2nd grade a few kids even made fun of it. Now, I believe kids just mainly ask her what it is. We've talked to the dr about it and we can have it removed if we want because they would probably do that when she gets older anyways. The problem there is that they would want to put her under not remove it in an office visit because of the size. She chickened out the first time we were going to get it removed and seemed to be fine with the mole being on her arm. But now she's all worked up about it again. I'd rather not do surgery, but if it will have to be done eventually, shouldn't we spare her the mole drama at school?
Have you been in a similar situation? Any advice?

 

[HM]

How large is this mole?
Is there another dermatologist who could give you a second opinion on whether it can be removed without putting her under?
Personally, I'd remove it either way. It's affecting her self-esteem.

I've had a mole removed on my chin when I was a pre-teen. It was the type that "witches" were always shown having in storybooks. I can totally understand your child's feelings.

 

[SCHBR'smom]

I'd say the mole is 3/8 to 1/2 inch. We were going with doctors based on the pediatrician's advice. We want a doctor who is used to working with children since she is still pretty young. I'll ask again at her 10 yr well check this summer and try to get it removed during the summer also.
It's just so sad. She's such a beautiful girl, blond hair, blue eyes, that beautiful skin that goes to a tan the instant summer hits. I just makes me sad that she's not happy with any part of herself already.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would remove the mole for cosmetic reasons and health reasons for that matter. I have had 2 removed so far.

Yes, she is going to freak out however I would coach her through it. Reassure her and make it through.

Teaching her how to take care of her body is a good lesson to start with.

 

[DisneyMissy318]

I know how you feel as a Mom and wanting to the best for your DD! Kudos for being aware and trying to figure out options. My DD has a birthmark/mole - in her eyebrow. She is very self-conscious about it and makes sure her bangs are a length that covers her eyebrow. She recently started wearing glasses and the frame hits at the eyebrow too - which she loves. We are keeping an eye on and will have it removed if it gets larger in it's projection away from her face. (Then we'll have the scar issue and her eyebrow will be cut in half - probably with no hair growth in the middle - so we'll wait and see.)

Of course I think it's "cute" as it's been a part of her since birth - but I know she doesn't like it!

Good Luck to you and your daughter!

 

[a1tinkfans]

I'd say the mole is 3/8 to 1/2 inch. We were going with doctors based on the pediatrician's advice. We want a doctor who is used to working with children since she is still pretty young. I'll ask again at her 10 yr well check this summer and try to get it removed during the summer also.
It's just so sad. She's such a beautiful girl, blond hair, blue eyes, that beautiful skin that goes to a tan the instant summer hits. I just makes me sad that she's not happy with any part of herself already.

Kids have it so tough at school I really think kids have become much less "sensitized" to things and they feel "free" about saying and asking ANYTHING now a days....it really does make it that much tougher dealing with ANYTHING a bit different. That being said, if it is really bothering her to the point that she covers it up each day, I'd seriously consider the removal (agree, over summer so it is DONE for next years start). In addition wouldn't that be better regarding "not worrying about changes to it over the years?"
I agree, it is scary for a child and anesth. but are you sure that is the ONLY way they can do it??? I would definitely seek a second opinion and a specialist that takes care of children specifically!
Here's to your BEAUTIFUL girl, and making it so that she feels as beautiful on the outside as she already feels on the inside! to your

 

[mjkacmom]

I have the opposite problem. Ds11 has a mole the size of a pencil eraser on his belly, that sticks out (you can see it through some shirts). I want it removed, he doesn't. The doctor said it's not dangerous, and says that he will probably want it removed at some point. He's been under twice already, so it doesn't scare me much.

If it's hurting her self esteem, have it removed.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

You need a dermatologist not a ped. If the mole is very large they will refer you to a plastic surgeon. Has this mole changed in size or shape? I would probably have it removed if it is affecting her self esteem.

 

[PatsMom]

I think that if my DD had a mole that bothered her that much I would encourage her to deal with the idea of surgery to remove it. You mention that your DD tans when summer hits - I hope that you are sunscreening her.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Maybe look at it this way. Having the mole causes her daily anxiety. If she gets it removed, she will be anxious however the mole with be gone.

Short term vs long term.

How old is she?

My oldest had her gallbladder out at 16. I can assure you it never gets easy.

 

[minkydog]

If it's embarrassing her, i'd have it removed. I agree with pp, you need a dermatologist and possibly some plastic surgery to insure a good result. Don't minimize the emotional pain this causes her. I have known grown women who felt self-concious well into adulthood, sometimes as old as 40. There is not good reason not to remove a mole that bothers your daughter.

 

[mickeyboat]

When DD9 was about 9 months old, she developed a little red dot on the end of her nose. I took her to the doctor who referred us to a pediatric dermatologist who diagnosed it as a spider hemangioma.

The derm. recommended we remove it when she got a little older. He wanted to use a special laser that the hospital did not yet have, otherwise he would have had to put her under becuase he was not confident she could sit still long enough for the procedure. In the mean time we tried a couple of creams to see if it would fade the mark, but they did not work.

We continued our yearly visits and decided that we would wait until DD decided for herself that it was time to take off the spot. The summer between 1st and 2nd grades, she had an appointment where the derm said we could try cauterizing the spot. I was still in the "let's wait" camp, but to my surprise, DD really wanted to have it removed. The derm. scoured his department to find her a stuffed animal she could hold, and he did the procedure that day in his office.

She did beautifully. We were so proud of her, and she was pretty proud of herself too. You can barely see where the spot was anymore.

I think it was a great time to do it. It was before kids started getting really cruel to one another, and she clearly was becomming self-conscious about it.

I know it's scary, but I think it's time for you to do something about it if she is covering it up every day.

 

[XTinabell]

I agree with everyone else. If she's going so far as to cover it with a headband that is a serious self esteem issue. Take care of it, and explain to her that it's okay and the surgery is not a big deal. I also agree that you should take her to a dermatologist to get a second opinion about being put under.

 

[tazdev3225]

Go to a good dermatologist. If you have a childrens hospital in your area call and ask for a recommendation. My DD had a large mole on her arm when she was younger, about the size of your DD's. I had it checked out and they removed it right there in the office. It only took about 5 minutes. She was about 17 at the time. Thankfully we did because it turned out to be precancerous. Not saying this is the case for you but my experience. I had a large mole removed in my dermatologists office also. I wouldn't use a pediatrician for something like this. For your DD's well being get it checked out and good luck.

 

[mjkacmom]

When DD9 was about 9 months old, she developed a little red dot on the end of her nose. I took her to the doctor who referred us to a pediatric dermatologist who diagnosed it as a spider hemangioma.

The derm. recommended we remove it when she got a little older. He wanted to use a special laser that the hospital did not yet have, otherwise he would have had to put her under becuase he was not confident she could sit still long enough for the procedure. In the mean time we tried a couple of creams to see if it would fade the mark, but they did not work.

We continued our yearly visits and decided that we would wait until DD decided for herself that it was time to take off the spot. The summer between 1st and 2nd grades, she had an appointment where the derm said we could try cauterizing the spot. I was still in the "let's wait" camp, but to my surprise, DD really wanted to have it removed. The derm. scoured his department to find her a stuffed animal she could hold, and he did the procedure that day in his office.

She did beautifully. We were so proud of her, and she was pretty proud of herself too. You can barely see where the spot was anymore.

I think it was a great time to do it. It was before kids started getting really cruel to one another, and she clearly was becomming self-conscious about it.

I know it's scary, but I think it's time for you to do something about it if she is covering it up every day.

Do you remember about how much it cost? Dd8 has one on her cheek (I thought it was a cut that didn't heal), and she's starting to want to get rid of it. Since it's cosmetic, we have to pay OOP. I think I'll wait until after January, since we're planning on putting the whole $5000 in flex spending (dd12 has braces, so we can definitely use it all).

 

[KSchwagg86]

I'd say put her under--make it seem really fun (which I think it is!) It will be over before she knows it!

 

[luvthatdisney]

I just wanted to add - not to scare you- but my DS was dx'd with melanoma 3 years ago (he was 15.5 at the time). His mole was not large was not even raised, but it had changed color just a little. I had asked his pediatrician if we needed to remove it and he said if we wanted to and that he would recommend doing so. So we did.

He is now has stage 1b malignant melanoma - he had to undergo and lengthy surgery and now has a scar all the way down one side of his face. Luckily, he did not have to have any other treatment - just constant checks of his lymph nodes. He is almost 19 now and deals with his dx day to day. It can always come back - when it does it is very hard to treat.

I tell you this as a warning to everyone. Melanoma is not just a older person cancer it can effect anyone. PLEASE, if any family member has a mole larger than a pencil eraser, one that has changed size or color (including losing its color) please have it checked. We need to check our children in places you might not think (between toes, in hair, in private areas). Take picture of any moles you are not sure of and watch them - if you see change go to the doctor.

I did have some moles removed from my DD after my DS was dx'd. Were done in the dermatologist office with only numbing injection. Both took 2 stitches each to close (one on side of face and other on back). Both were benign moles!! One other thing, if you can ask for a punch removal not a shave. Should the biopsy results come back abnormal this can effect staging. I did have to ask for my daughters to be removed by a punch and the doctor was hesitant, but we were the patient and she did as I asked. If you have a family history of skin cancer always ask for a punch.

Good luck - please tell your DD that my DD said it did not hurt and only asked once for Tylenol afterwards. Even having the stitches removed did not hurt - she says!!

Again - I do not mean to scare only to warn.

 

[mickeyboat]

Do you remember about how much it cost? Dd8 has one on her cheek (I thought it was a cut that didn't heal), and she's starting to want to get rid of it. Since it's cosmetic, we have to pay OOP. I think I'll wait until after January, since we're planning on putting the whole $5000 in flex spending (dd12 has braces, so we can definitely use it all).

I don't know how it was coded, but I was pleasantly surprised that my insurance covered it, and they don't cover costmetic procedures.

 

[RAV]

My son was hit in the face with a soccer ball. It left a raised red broken blood vessel on his cheek. He called it the perpetual pimple. He was about 12 at the time. People would ask him what it was and it bothered him. I took him to a plastic surgeon who tried to remove it by laser in his office. It got smaller but could still be seen. He then had us meet him at the hospital where the laser was much more powerful. The process was painful but worked well and removed the mark. My son was thrilled and said the pain was worth the result. That being said, do your research. If you decide to have the birth mark removed, check out the person performing the procedure because a bad scar can be just as troubling.

 

[rascalmom]

My dd21 had a large mole removed from her back 2 years ago. It hit just about at her bra line - a little above & sometimes showed with certain tops, sundresses etc. DD is very fair & it bothered her - both cosmetically & because it was sometimes uncomfortable when her bra rubbed it.

We saw two different dermotologists - both thought it should come off because it had irregular edges & was over 1/2 across at one place. It wasn't cancerous then, but they thought it had potential to cause problems in the future.

The procedure was done in office - under a local anesthesia. It ended up being deeper than they expected & the incision site was fairly large - about an inch. It healed up okay, but about a month after her surgery the underlying tissue separated. So - it left her with a pretty large, deep scar.

We took her for Restalyne (sp) injections to fill it last summer & that improved it dramatically. DD is happy she had it all done - she isn't crazy about the scar, but is less self-concious about it than she was the mole.