Anyone else cutting back this Christmas?

[dreamer17555]

So this year my family is dialing Christmas back a bit. It just has gotten really out of control. It was 3 gifts to each of my kids from my ex and I when we were married, plus one from Santa.

Then when we divorced their dad started doing 3 gifts too, and then my parents liked the idea of three gifts (They are divorced-so 6 more gifts per child) plus ex's family and family friends and then my children bought each other 3 gifts too... I swear I had good intentions when we started. It clearly spiraled.

So as you can imagine this was a mountain of presents. Now I have very non greedy children who never get things just because but it is so overkill. So this year its 2 gifts from each person and one gift to each other. I was able to get my ex, both of my parents, and the kids on board so progress. Also with the two gifts one must be under $40. Still that is 10 gifts (counting Santa) for each of them before extended family comes into play... Sigh.

I am hoping next year I can talk my ex into 1 gift each per kid but even then I doubt either his parents or mine will love that idea. I swear I am trying to get this back into semi normal.

Talking to several friends we aren't the only ones parring down this year. Is anyone else cutting back this year?

 

[MomToOne]

. (oops - wrong thread)

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

Here all the traditional Christmas markets, where you pick up those little (but costly) impulse buys are cancelled. Also, I don’t want to go shopping just for the sake of shopping in this Covid world, so I think presents will be cut down because of that. Both my adult children have birthdays before Christmas, so I wandered into a card shop this week and thought, ‘no, I really don’t want to be touching cards!’ I rant against ‘moonpig’ and the like, because I feel that if you can’t be bothered to handwrite a card, I don’t want it. (Grumpy old person alert), so I have warned my children to expect hand drawn cards (think stick figures, as I cannot draw).

 

[piccolopat]

If you can't convince them to cut back further, how about suggesting one thing they want and one thing they need (a piece of clothing or book). If they insist on more they can give something they can do with the child (tickets to the zoo, coupon for a day at the park, etc.). Suggest to your kid that for every gift they receive, they donate something they have but no longer need or love.

 

[AgentMama]

We've been trying to scale back for awhile with varying success. Our family as a whole has tried to move towards experiences instead of things. It's harder this year with experiences being limited.

 

[auntie60]

i want to ask when do you stop giving gifts to nieces and nephews? mine are 15,18,two at 21 and two at 27. i know its not alot of kids but does it or should it stop at some point??

 

[mommy2twingles]

Yes I changed jobs this year and took a pay cut. I already told the kids we are cutting back on gifts this year and they are good with it. My dd list actually had quite a lot of items under $15 range so it is making it easy to pick up an item here or there.

 

[gottalovepluto]

I think many will be cutting back out of necessity. Since that isn’t at all what you are referencing @dreamer17555 can you modify your title to include at the end “(not out of financial necessity)” or something along those lines?

 

[gottalovepluto]

i want to ask when do you stop giving gifts to nieces and nephews? mine are 15,18,two at 21 and two at 27. i know its not alot of kids but does it or should it stop at some point??

There is no rule, you need to make your own call. In discussions I’ve seen some say they stop at 18 or 21 or after college or after they marry. Some don’t stop.

 

[clh2]

We naturally started cutting back on nieces/nephews when they were done with college, or around 21/22 if they did not go to college.

 

[LovesTimone]

Here's how it works at our house...

All the adults get a Box, a large Gift bag, and a stocking... I will say that there are more than one present in each of them... as well everyone has to bring a item for everyone else stocking... nothing under 2.00 and not over 5.00. As well as the box, bag, and stocking are for personal gift's.. We give them a family present... So this year DD, DSiL and Grandson - she asked for new pots and pans - For my parents a new large toaster oven...

Grandkids get quite a bit... no judging... LOL

DH and I cut out gift giving with our siblings a long time ago.. When our niece's and nephew were young we would give them a gift... I have a great niece and I do get her something...She is on the autism spectrum, and has had a rough go of it, especially in school this year.

We adopt family from Christmas Angels last year we did a single mom and 2 kids. - We try and get everything on the list and few extras, like comfy blankets, socks, PJ's, Jackets, back pack for the kids, and nice tote bag for the mom. As well we donate to our church food pantry, for the families in need... I try to do this quarterly...

We do exchange with my cousin and his wife we are very close to them...more like brothers and sisters.

 

[_19disnA]

I know of some who have large families where they draw names and then each person only has to buy ONE gift. Even if they are relatives, you don't necessarily know of everyone's financial situation and most people don't choose to discuss that with others. Even if you used to have large family gatherings, covid makes that unwise this year.

Often families start to go their separate ways when the children get older, perhaps go out of town to college and some may even move to live/work in a different city. As the children grow up, those who are married also likely spend time with their spouse's relatives.

I think it makes sense for the adults to have a discussion ahead of time about gift-giving to avoid any awkwardness at Christmas.

 

[dreamer17555]

I think many will be cutting back out of necessity. Since that isn’t at all what you are referencing @dreamer17555 can you modify your title to include at the end “(not out of financial necessity)” or something along those lines?

I can if you would like. I should share that the whole idea of cutting back really hit me due to being laid off due to covid and my ex taking a cut in hours. We luckily each have savings. Christmas is normally a huge deal and many expenses (after school care, trips, eating out etc) have vanished so we are cutting back but not as much as I know many families might need to. It is both out of a combination of reigning it in and need (though I guess need is subjective).

 

[gottalovepluto]

I can if you would like. I should share that the whole idea of cutting back really hit me due to being laid off due to covid and my ex taking a cut in hours. We luckily each have savings. Christmas is normally a huge deal and many expenses (after school care, trips, eating out etc) have vanished so we are cutting back but not as much as I know many families might need to. It is both out of a combination of reigning it in and need (though I guess need is subjective).

Ah. Didn’t want your thread getting off your topic but since that’s part of the equation too obviously no need.

Hope you get some good news work wise soon! Stupid 2020

 

[QueenIsabella]

Every year, I try to cut back. Every year, I fail. I know there are psychological reasons for this--Christmas was NOT a time of joy or presents when I was growing up, so I overcompensate with my own kids. I know this. Yet, I still do it. I just really love to give my kids presents.

 

[Hikergirl]

This is going to be a cash year so definitely cutting down on gifts.

 

[martikus]

We already do a small Christmas. I am trying to be more purposeful to gifts to 14 year old. Going for quality over quantity. But he doesn’t get from anyone else so I always feel a need to ensure he has a nice stack to open. But he’s fine with things like a box of favorite fruit snacks.

we’ve never exchanged with DH’s family (they are all a lot older and kids grown already) and my parents just want a gift card to buy kindle books.

DH and I buy only a couple for each other so our only kid knows it isn’t ALL about him . But we are talking small things.

we had a 4 week pay reduction at work so feeling a bit guilty spending my usual ok xmas cash to my staff. But they have worked so hard this year I think I’m still gonna do it and just cut expenses elsewhere.

 

[Crazy4DisneyandTink]

DD23 will get the PS5 and DD17 will get an iPad, both will have something in their stocking and that's it.

 

[tvguy]

Too soon to tell. I have to get past Columbus Day, Halloween, my wife's birthday, Veterans Day, and Thanksgiving first.

 

[SaintsManiac]

Yes we started cutting back last year and so did my side of the family. We only buy for the kids on my side.

My husband's family still shops for everyone, but we don't participate in that anymore. We only buy for his parents and sister.

My husband and I decided not to exchange any this year, because we are doing a bunch of work on our house.

My daughter will probably have too much, but I don't care. Oh to be an only child at Christmas!