Anyone else alienated from a family member?

[florida-again]

I hope its not to personal to ask, I just wondered because I am.

Can I also ask that if people do respond, and give their reasons, that NO ONE flames them for it.

I'm alienated from my dad because his new wife banned him from seeing me for literally no reason at all (but didn't stop him seeing my two sisters! bizarre!)

I know people might be tempted to flame because it sounds like I'm giving just one side of a story...unfortunately I am not.

Likewise, please don't flame anyone else for their reasons.

If it's too personal for this boards, let me know and I'll request having it deleted.

 

[Beauty]

We don't associate at all with DH's mom. She is such a bitter person. She is mean to everyone and just did some things to him as a child that were horrible. We have tried and tried to make things right with her. We will invite her into our home, let her see John-Cole etc. and it all just starts right over again. She asks us for money, buys J.C. thinks with bad checks just things that are unacceptable in our family.

Finally about 4 years ago we just stopped trying. She will call every five or six months and John will be nice to her but the way she lives is something we aren't teaching our children. Its really sad too since Ariel is on the way.

 

[Disneynutbsv]

I hope its not to personal to ask, I just wondered because I am.

Can I also ask that if people do respond, and give their reasons, that NO ONE flames them for it.

I'm alienated from my dad because his new wife banned him from seeing me for literally no reason at all (but didn't stop him seeing my two sisters! bizarre!)

I know people might be tempted to flame because it sounds like I'm giving just one side of a story...unfortunately I am not.

Likewise, please don't flame anyone else for their reasons.

If it's too personal for this boards, let me know and I'll request having it deleted.

I've disowned my half brother. The reason being is he's stolen from our mother, he's a deadbeat dad and owes his son lots of $, he'll move in with someone and not pay rent, groceries, etc....he'll do things to your computer that shouldn't be done. He's hurt a lot of people in my family. He dislikes me and calls me a "princess". No, I'm not made of money, my husband and I work for our home, family, whatever we have. I keep hoping someday he'll "grow up". But seriously doubt that will happen.

 

[doxdogy]

I have nothing to do with my sister. If I never speak to her again, it will be to soon for me.

 

[Hey hey heyhey]

Yes I have a SIL who has always been odd and difficult.

well this past summer she said something to our DD15 on one of the rare occasions that she has been with her......My DH called and told her she upset DD and to please watch what she says to her....(not the entire conversation but it was not much longer and he was VERY civil).

Well she goes off the deep end and says she can't see us anymore.....
she does not come to my DD Sweet16 Bday party (a week later) and does not acknowledge bday in anyway...

Then a few weeks later we have a small BBQ for Her mom (my MIL) who is going on her first cruise and my dh called to invite her(for my MIL sake) and she never calls us back, leaves a message for his Mom that she Prayed and prayed and she can't be near my DH or I right now....

So we are xxxxx'd......

 

[helenabear]

I don't talk to most of my dad's side of the family! It honestly has to do with who my mom was. I haven't met most of them nor do I even know who exists. I have nothing against them, and I kind of feel sorry for them that they judged my mom on who she was on the outside, rather than the person she is on the inside.

 

[BelleBoo&AmisMum]

My birth father, haven't talked to him in 7 almost 8 years, though he did call my grandma (moms mom) to have her pass along that he has cancer.

My grandfather (moms dad), he married a total jerk and she has alientated him from everyones life.

Two of my uncles, on of them married a woman a year older than me.

 

[miste76]

My father has disowned me (this is the third time) over the summer. He wrote an e-mail telling me to consider him dead. We haven't talked since then, but I try to keep up with what's going on through my aunt (his sister.) He tends to be a very bitter person (the world is always out to get him!!!) but I still love him. I figure that he'll come around some day (of course he'll act like nothing was wrong and of course it wasn't his fault - never is - always everyone else's fault) but at least we'll be speaking again.
I kind of feel sorry for him, but I figure that he would at least attempt to change if he was truly unhappy with the way he lives his life.

 

[inaminute]

Sure nearly my entire family. Let's just say it was extremely dysfunctional (more than the regula "normal dysfunction") and I'm much healthier and happier without them and the drama.

 

[grinningghost]

My MIL hasn't spoken to DH or me for the past year. I honestly think she's suffering from some mental problem. She used to talk to us all the time.

It really hasn't affected our lives though - and that's the sad part.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would say maybe not "banned" more like "estranged". It is DH's dad. He kind of left when dh was 5yo and really never bonded with him. So after being troubled by it, we have put it into perspective and don't worry anymore. Took awhile, probably 15years. I wish I would have let go sooner.....

Kind of like your situation, sort of. We "blamed" his stepmom for the "no contact" when in reality it was his dad all along. Comes from being a parent and you realize the role of a parent and then the truth hits you like a truck.

I think you do that to protect yourself. It would be very hard to be in your 20's and have the realization your dad doesn't give a hoot about you. Although it would have been better to accept it sooner and get one with our lives.

So we don't know his dad, my kids don't know him as a grandpa, oh well....his loss!

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Most of my 6 brothers and sisters, for various reasons.

Brother #1 - heavy drug user - can't get it together
Brother#2 - wants to have a relationship, but his wife hates our mother, and therefore she won't allow him to speak to any of his siblings that are close to our mom
Sister #1 - pathological liar, takes advantage of our mother, I still speak to her, but only on occasion.
Sister #2 - last time I saw her I was probably 5. She was my mom's first born, and much older than me. She was estranged from my mom before I was even born. They tried a reconcilliation a few years ago, but I guess it didn't work out. I don't even know her, really.

That's about it, in a nutshell.

 

[kejoda]

I will not speak to my sister anymore. I tried to make amends the last time I was home but all she wanted to do was blame me for everything. She blamed me for her failed (3rd marriage. Didn't matter that he was abusive and she cheated on him. It was my fault for not being supportive. She also blamed me for her drug abuse. i don't recall forcing drugs on her but whatever. The worse dhe did was to tell me that Mom would be disappointed in the person i've become. That one hurt and still does.

We also don't talk to dh's brother. His choice, he only wants to talk to people that will give him money.

 

[we3disneygo]

my mother and father in law and sister in law #2 ! life is much easier now....even dd11 is beginning to understand that they don't treat her dad right or her.......it's sad but life has been much easier since we realized this....

 

[Poohbear123]

1 that lives in Idaho, haven't talked/emailed/heard from him in about 5-6 years. Also, my other brother, lives about 14 min away from me, passes by my Neighborhood EVERYDAY to go to his Job, and emails me once a month. Haven't seen him in person in over a year, when he visited me at the hosp. after I had surgery. I have no idea WHY they don't want to see me, I guess they are not too thrilled of the fact I am "living in sin" for 20 years!

 

[WDWLVR]

I cut all ties with my brother the year before my Mother got sick and died (and it was with her blessing). He proved during her illness that I had made the right choice.

 

[experiment626mom]

Yep my middle sister. For way too many reasons to post here.

 

[LvsTnk]

My Mom. Treated my sister horribly and started to show favorites with my own children. Then one day she said something nasty about my son with special needs, so that my friends was the end of that.

Like others here we tried to work it out, but she thought she was right and I was not going there again. Sorry to say our whole family is very close without her.

 

[anewvance]

I haven't talked to my dad in about 2 1/2 years... he lives 20 miles away from me. My mom and him were 17 when they got married and had my twin sister and I. They got divorced when we were 2. I saw him a few times a year all the way until I was 22 or so. Then my grandfather, his dad, died and since then my dad has been very distant & he thinks my grandparents put bad thoughts about him in our heads and he is convinced we hate him blah blah. I really don't... and told him so one night when he called drunk (he does drink alot) and crying to me. We left it as i'd like for him to know his grandchildren (he had 4 of them 2 from me and 2 from sister) at this point and we would go to lunch one day, it was about 2 1/2 years ago. Haven't heard a word from him since, he never called or anything. He has no idea my 3rd child exsists. I am thinking about writing him a letter...

 

[MrsNick]

Haven't spoken to my father for 15 years. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Sadly, I rarely talk to my one and only sister, but she has turned out to be somewhat like my father. I used to complain about her to my mother, who didn't believe me. Until she started spending a lot of time with my sister (once my DN came along). Now my mother has admitted that she knows what I meant when I complained.

I have to admit, I always wished that I was part of a close knit family, because mine isn't.