Anyone cope with fear of flying?

[lenshanem]

I always had a small fear of flying, but never really told anyone. We used to fly often. Since 9/11 I haven't flown ONCE! That did me in. Now hubby wants to take the girls to DL and we'd have to fly. Given my fear of flying AND my oldest's peanut allergy I'm SCARED TO DEATH! The thought of my daughter being trapped on a plane with recirculated air and peanuts all around her makes me VERY nervous. Everyone thinks I'm silly, but soon I'm gonna have to make a decision so I can book DLH!

 

[MLK-RI]

lenshanem
It's good to be cautious especially about health issues. You might want to check with your airline though about the peanuts. We've flown several times in the last few years (not as far as CA) and we have not gotten those little bags of peanuts at all. It's been pretzels, etc. So they may have taken the peanut allergy issue in consideration. Or perhaps it's on certain flights where someone has told them of an allergy. I suppose it wouldn't help if other passengers had personal peanuts with them for snacks, but maybe it's worth a call to check with your airline?

 

[awatt]

For me it's not so much the flying itself, but a more claustrophobic feeling. It's a relatively small space and you can't get off.

Xanax works wonders. But I don't think I could handle a flight to Europe or Hawaii.

 

[JimMIA]

Just checked, and I've flown a little over 700,000 miles on my favorite airline (yes, there IS such a thing!). Obviously, I'm not a fearful flyer, but my DW is and I certainly understand how difficult that can be.

My wife took a fearful flyer course (complete with a graduation flight), and it helped her somewhat. What helped her more was just getting on the phone one day and calling American Airlines reservations. She told the RA of her fears, and somehow they put her on the line with one of the head safety pilots at American.

He talked to her for more than an hour and answered every question she had. He explained all the odd little noises aircraft make just at the wrong time, and what turbulence is and isn't, and a lot of other stuff. One of the biggies for DW was turbulence, which the pilot compared to hitting a rough spot in the road while driving...except not as serious for a big aircraft. You are going to have some turbulence on virtually every flight, so learning to expect it and understanding that it's really no big deal is helpful.

Knowledge is good when you're afraid...especially about a topic as complicated as putting 300 people inside a steel tube and sticking them 7 miles up in the sky! I think the more you learn about flying, the more comfortable you will be. I would look at the link Spicycat gave above and see what they have to offer. Going to a major bookstore and looking at some books would probably also help.

I've heard that fear of flying is really two fears -- one of which can be beaten and one which is more difficult. The beatable part is the lack of knowledge part; you can overcome that with some research, taking a course, etc.

The more difficult fear most fearful flyers have is the lack of control -- someone else if flying the darn thing, and even if they'd let you, you don't know how...so how can you be sure they're gonna get you there? To my surprise, gaining more knowledge about how an aircraft flies did actually help my DW with the control part as well. I guess if she couldn't control the aircraft, at least she understood the pilot's ability to control things better as a result of her study.

Don't give up. You'll probably never be a joyous flyer, but at least you can learn to get through it. If you can, it will open up a whole world of possibilities for you.

Good luck.

 

[lenshanem]

I read an article where Delta is going back to serving peanuts.

 

[Par8hed]

This may be off point if you already have tickets etc. But we've taken Amtrak to WDW a few times. It was partly the excitement and adventure of an overnight train trip and partly not comfortable with flying

Not looking to "flame" this posters good intentions but if you want to look at statistics flying has a "waaaaaaay" better record than Amtrak. Or driving for that matter. I suggest you follow some of the other posters suggestions and educate yourself as to how safe flying actually is. I have; and for the same reasons that you would. Statiscally, and I'm sorry I don't have the stats in front of me, flying is (I believe-please look it up) safer than taking a shower. No joke. As others have mentioned....take a gander at the flight atendants. You'll see no apprehension on their faces. In fact, talk to them. They will reasssure you. Definitely do the research on the safety of flying, it will put you at ease. You're far more likely to get hurt at WDW on a ride than flying there. Relax and enjoy your flight. If all else fails... heavy alcohol consumption is always an option!!!!!

 

[fkj2]

I'm not what I call a good flyer. I'm nervous for a couple of weeks before I travel and just have to keep telling myself how safe the airline industry is. Plus, when I'm sitting on the jet, I always try to look calm, not wanting to humiliate myself in front of the other passengers. That's a motivating factor for me.

I really think it's a control issue: When you drive, you've got the steering wheel. When there's a pilot and you're 35,000 feet in the air, you feel powerless should there be even the slightest bump. I so wanted out of the plane a year ago leaving PIT, the turbulence was terrible but everyone else looked calm. I'm deplaning and remarked to one of the attendents that I thought the turbulence out of PIT was bad and she agreed, "Yeah, worst I've been in for awhile." Somehow, that didn't allay my fears very much, but the fact is that you almost need to fly in order to maximize your vacation time. Even then, it really consumes a day to travel to WDW by the time you factor in leaving home, airport arrival and check-in, security, flight, baggage retrieval, ground transportation and arrival at the hotel, and another to travel back.

 

[brianm27]

I am a frequent flyer and not a fearful flyer. I have had two experiences with people with issues flying.

The first was not really a fear of flying, but the enclosed space. A medical prescription did the trick for him.

The second was a passenger seated next to me a few years ago. She told me she was scared, a first flight, and asked me to forgive her becuase she expected to "behave poorly" as she put it.

She first was startled when the plane was disconnected from power at the gate. She thought there was something wrong. I explained to her what was happening. She felt a little better until the next noise then started to panic again. I knew I had no hope of relaxing on the flight so I started to narrate the flight and the noises the plane was making.

I explained what was going on the whole flight. When we made the final decent, I made sure that I prepared her for the flaps and the landing gear noises (as we were sitting over the wing.)

She said this really helped her get through the flight. In don't know if her return flight was less stressful, but she thanked me quite a few times as we exited the plane.

It's hard for us that see flying as nothing more than a nuisance to be something that people are afraid of. I am thankful that I don't have a fear of flying. I hope you can work out your fears and at least be able to tolerate the experience.

 

[champagne27]

Thank you so much for all your help and reassurances. Since DH doesn't undertstand this fear (although tries to be supportive), it is helpful to realize that I am not alone and that while I may never enjoy flying, it is doable. Funny how you can do something for a few times before you develop/increase a fear...

I now have the fearofflyinghelp.com site bookmarked and definitely will spend time there and doing additional safety research so I can repeat all that information to myself in the air. I think I will ask doc for the Xanex too - can't hurt!

I will also try the transportation board - wasn't thinking - already so nervous I'm not thinking clearly!

Thanks again to everyone for taking the time to respond.

 

[Disneylovers]

I'm another nervous nelly when it comes to flying. The day I have to get onto a plane, my stomach is in knots and I can't sleep, or eat. I try not to let it show so my DDs don't pick up on it, but my older DD has me figured out. Last year, I got an ipod, so it came with me for our two flights to WDW, and they were probably the best two flights I have had! I programmed my Disney music, which shut out a lot of the plane noise, and I brought a magazine to read, and as wierd as it sounds, I pretty much zoned out the whole flight. I can't do alcohol or drugs, so the music helped me to zone out.

Lenshanem: check out Southwest - if they fly near you. The last time we flew them, (which OK - was three years ago, so things could be totally different now), they started to hand out peanuts to us, and immediately ran through and made us give them back. There was a peanut allergy on board, and they weren't supposed to hand them out at all. They were very stern with the passengers to give them back. So, at least you know they are consciencious about peanut allergies (if they even give them out anymore - I'm flying on Southwest to LA next month - I'll let you know). Pat

 

[lenshanem]

Thanks Pat. I was hoping to fly Delta cause hubby has enough miles to get a free ticket and possibly one more. I guess I could fly a different airline than him, we could split up. I just don't think he could handle my youngest (seriously) alone on a plane and I would want to be with my oldest with the allergy. We also will have that one free companion ticket from spending $200 this summer on our Disney Visa. (Did everyone see that deal?!? It is a free companion ticket to either WDW or DL for the 50th!)

I flew with her years ago with Delta and it was spotty at best. Going I got SEVERE attitude about it and was even made fun of by the attendant checking us in. Coming back the staff was very understanding. I had called beforehand, but both ways they were clueless when we arrived.

 

[MdmMim]

I used to fly all the time, but never really liked it. One day, I stepped off a plane and said, "That's it! No more flying." For nine years, I did not fly--then SW came out with the $49 fares. I was so tempted. I sat in front of my computer with all the flight info in front of me, but I could not click on the submit button to make the reservation. Then one day, my urge to go to WDW overcame my fear of flying, and my flight was booked. I thought, "Now what do I do?" I did a search and found the fearofflyinghelp.com site and my life changed. I have taken many flights since finding that site and am no longer terrified to fly. I am no longer ill days before a flight.

Flying SW helped me, too. The flights from where I live are nonstop--only one takeoff and landing per trip. Also, their sense of humor on the plane relaxes me greatly--I figure if they're kidding around a bit, all must be OK.

I hope you find somehting that works for you, as overcoming this fear has opened up the world to me.

 

[fkj2]

Here's another thing: You just can't assume that although the service itself doesn't offer peanuts that a possible exposure will be prevented.

Returning last April, I was seated next to a hearing impaired couple who were eating cashews. I guess I was taken aback to know that someone would be eating nuts on a plane when so many people are developing the peanut allergies, or am I wrong in assuming that a reaction can occur to almost any type of nuts?

 

[lenshanem]

Many people that are allergic to peanuts are also allergic to tree nuts. Also, many facilities that process peanuts also process other nuts so the chance of cross contamination is great.

When I flew with her years back I asked to go onboard first so I could wipe down her tray, arm seats, etc. I found peanuts all over the floor and in her seat even, both ways. I was a nervous wreck. I must have looked like Micheal Jackson wearing his surgical mask or something.
A WOMAN WAS JUST STARING AT ME, LIKE WHAT IS THIS CRAZY PERSON DOING WIPING EVERYTHING DOWN! (Sorry, hit the caps lock.) Even just seven years ago not as many understood the allergy.

 

[JimMIA]

I am a frequent flyer and not a fearful flyer. I have had two experiences with people with issues flying.

The first was not really a fear of flying, but the enclosed space. A medical prescription did the trick for him.

The second was a passenger seated next to me a few years ago. She told me she was scared, a first flight, and asked me to forgive her becuase she expected to "behave poorly" as she put it.

She first was startled when the plane was disconnected from power at the gate. She thought there was something wrong. I explained to her what was happening. She felt a little better until the next noise then started to panic again. I knew I had no hope of relaxing on the flight so I started to narrate the flight and the noises the plane was making.

I explained what was going on the whole flight. When we made the final decent, I made sure that I prepared her for the flaps and the landing gear noises (as we were sitting over the wing.)

She said this really helped her get through the flight. In don't know if her return flight was less stressful, but she thanked me quite a few times as we exited the plane.

It's hard for us that see flying as nothing more than a nuisance to be something that people are afraid of. I am thankful that I don't have a fear of flying. I hope you can work out your fears and at least be able to tolerate the experience.

This is exactly the thing that most fearful flyers need...and also something that many of us who fly a lot have done more than once. Aircraft DO make wierd noises and those noises are often accompanied by shifts in the attitude of the plane - and hence a different "feel" for the passenger. It's perfectly normal, but you don't know that if you don't fly much.

If you're a fearful flyer, and you happen to sit next to someone who flys a lot, ask questions. We may not share your fear, but we all understand it and most are willing to help. Most of us have the routine down pretty well and can tell you what each of those little noises are. They're nothing -- like tire noise in a car. Once you understand that screaching noise is really the flaps being deployed to give the aircraft more lift for landing, the whole process is not as scary.

 

[MiaSRN62]

I am really only afraid to fly in bad weather (rain storm or snow storm). Particularily the snow. It kind of freaks me out if I think they're going to have to de-ice the plane prior to take off. My mind starts thinking wild things, like what it they didn't de-ice enough or missed a spot or the engine freezes up. I KNOW how silly this must sound, but flying in bad weather is the only thing that sort of gets me. One time, I was returning home from WDW (alone) and we had a layover in Raleigh-Durham. The lightening and heavy rain spooked me. I just couldn't believe the plane took off in it. I was so tempted to take a later flight. In good weather, I have absolutely no fear ?
Also, years ago, a group of girlfriends and I decided to plan a long weekend get-a-way to WDW (Thurs thru Sun). We had our rooms booked, PS made, passes bought, rental car booked etc. One of our group was even pushing to have dinner in certain restaurants and all. She seemed VERY excited about the whole thing. About 2 weeks prior to our trip (if my memory serves me right), she completely pulled-out of the trip due to a confessed fear of flying. Took a loss on air fare, passes etc. Took our whole group by suprise. But it was then, that I realized, just how a fear of fly can really paralyze some people and I sympathize.

 

[kimpossible]

I have to say that Xanax has helped me too (although it wiped me out for the day). I had to have my doctor (who is also my DH) play around with the dosage until it was actually strong enough to work. I also found that I needed to take it at just the right time (waiting to board the plane) since taking off and landing are my most feaful moments.

I will be flying first class for the first time in Oct. and I am contemplating skipping the xanax in lieu of alcohol. I am not sure if it will work as well, but I also don't want to be asleep for my first day (nor do I want to be hungover). What's a fearful flyer to do?

At any rate, I do not...I repeat... do not recommend combining both of the above mentioned strategies. (For health reasons).

Thanks for starting this thread. It is nice to know we are not alone.

 

[JimMIA]

I have to say that Xanax has helped me too (although it wiped me out for the day). I had to have my doctor (who is also my DH) play around with the dosage until it was actually strong enough to work. I also found that I needed to take it at just the right time (waiting to board the plane) since taking off and landing are my most feaful moments.

I will be flying first class for the first time in Oct. and I am contemplating skipping the xanax in lieu of alcohol. I am not sure if it will work as well, but I also don't want to be asleep for my first day (nor do I want to be hungover). What's a fearful flyer to do?

At any rate, I do not...I repeat... do not recommend combining both of the above mentioned strategies. (For health reasons).

Thanks for starting this thread. It is nice to know we are not alone.

You won't find sitting up front much different from riding in coach. The seats are more comfortable and there's more room, but the demons don't live exclusively in coach.

Depending on the length of the flight, the food service may distract you enough to help a little -- they tend to do it in stages in first class, so there is usually something going on or something to look forward to.

Also, I've noticed over the last year or so that the flight attendants often don't even offer beverages until after climbout. Sometimes they do, but often they don't. If you want a drink at the gate, you will probably have to ask for it.

 

[kimpossible]

Good to know, JimMia. Thanks.

 

[flexsmom]

I don't like to fly at all - and I used to be an air controller, and I know a lot about aircraft, etc., but after two emegency landings, I let the "what ifs" get to me. I would grin and bear it through overseas trips, and as long as the weather was OK, I'd get through it. I have found that since I have started to fly with my children, I am more able to control my fear. I do not want to pass an irrational concern about flying to my 6-year old, who is old enough to sense when something is wrong with me, so I do my best to be cheery and to concentrate on doing activities with her and NOT on what is going on around me. I guess I have decided that my first priority is to ensure my kids don't get some neurosis from observing my behavior on a plane, and that seems to be enough to drive me to more controlled behavior - but every time we land, I do breathe a sigh of relief!