Anybodys children ever had an imaginary friend?? Advice please

[buzz for boys]

Hi guys,
Im kind of hoping that some of the parents among us will have had a child with an imaginary friend and will be able to give me some advice my dd is 3 and has a really mischevious friend called Bobby - its never dd who spills flour all over the floor and then draws in it - its Bobby !! When dd doesnt stay in bed its not because she wants to get up its because Bobby is taking up all the room !!
Of course she doesnt want to have double ice creams sweets cakes etc it is just cruel to leave bobby out !
Whilst it does amuse us no end there is also a side to it that i dont know how to handle she becomes really distressed if her brothers point out bobby is not real or if Bobby goes home for a bit and dosnt want to be her friend
Do i ignore, encourage ??? i mean we sit the imaginary friend on the step for being naughty whilst my daughter is getting away scott free - any advice would be greatly appreciated !!
Just as a side note if you are still reading this - Bobby has only appeared since her brother went into hosp!
Louise x

 

[craigs bride]

maybe she is using him as a subsitute for her brother ....

 

[natalielongstaff]

it sounds a bit attention seeking to me ( and totally understandable ) i think the advice in these cases is to play along if possible and humour the child

 

[PoppyAnna]

Just want to add, there was a recent study on this which concluded that it was a very healthy thing for a child to have imaginary friends and they also mentioned that it can also highten the inteligence of the child in the future.
Vanessa Feltz discussed it on her phone-in radio show and lots of people of all ages called in to talk about their "friends" whether it was current or in the past and just about every scenario you mention, and many more were covered. Adults recalled how even their grandparents had to go along with it when they looked after them, the food issue (double portions) was a very common theme
My eldest DD doesnt have an imaginary friend but her role playing is very intricate and detailed which has, in the past, provoked much questioning from DH and I, but now I don't worry about it. Youngest DD has an imaginary horse "goldilocks" which is a less intense issue and is often "stabled" for days at a time
I agree with Natalie, I'd go along with it, if it was me.
I'll nose around and see if I can find the report online.

 

[scottish mum]

My dd doesn't have an imaginary friend but does have her teddy who is always the one that does bad things. He is the one who makes a mess in her room or tells her to be cheeky, etc. We go along with it and teddy always gets a big row and we tell dd it's just as well it wasn't her that had done whatever as we're sure that she wouldn't have liked the row that teddy got.

Sometimes you just have to laugh at the things they come up with.

I'm sure her new friend was a comfort to her when her brother was in hospital

 

[aaronandterri]

my lucky lot have 4 siblings to blame so we never had imaginary friends to blame...lol, alex does say jack did stuff when he isnt even there!

my best mate when i was younger had one i remember her clearly (lol no pun intended), she just grew out of it, we all used to humour her.

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

I think as long as the "friend" is nothing like Drop Dead Fred then you have nothing to worry about

 

[buzz for boys]

Thanks guys
I have to say im a little shocked she choose to have a boy imaginary friend as she has 3 brothers so would have thought a girly companion is more in order
Im not really overly concerned by the fact she has Bobby more how on earth do u discipline a child who clearly believes its not her fault !!
Im going along the humour her tact at the moment although it can wear a little thin when dh has to follow in his car because Bobby has to have a seat everywhere we go !
My boys find it really amusing to tell her they cant see Bobby every 30 seconds and we have had many a row with my 10 yr old to leave it be - but hey kids will be kids
Fingers crossed she will grow out of it soon I dont want to haveto pay for a seat for Bobby on our next trip to Florida

 

[jen_uk]

I would play along, when Bobby does something wrong I would explain to her that Bobby did something very naughty etc so she does learn its wrong.

 

[Ware Bears]

You've had some great advice, I don't have anything to add but thought I'd say how my parents always used to talk about how my elder sister had an imaginary friend ~ it was an old woman who used to live in the shed at the bottom of the garden of the house they were living in! My sister soon grew out of it and can't remember anything of it now.........or so she claims!

 

[KatieG73]

Can't offer any advice but thought I'd share a funny story...

My friends daughter's imaginary friend is Amy Winehouse! Amy Winehouse is blamed for everything by the little one (5 years old) not least dyeing the family labrador pink! It's an absolute scream -we've had tales of AW climbing in windows/drawing on walls/making messes etc - the child involved is a lovely wee girl who is well adjusted and doing well in school so I think it's just a phase.

My daughter didn't have an imaginary friend but did insist that she was a dog for two weeks - walked on all fours and would only eat out of a bowl on the floor......

 

[Clare D]

Can't give any advice as DS hasn't had a friend that we can't see but I recently read Cecelia Ahern's 'If you could see me now'. This book brought a few tears to my eyes and maybe a good book for you to read in the currect situation

 

[Trilli-magic]

I think as long as the "friend" is nothing like Drop Dead Fred then you have nothing to worry about

I LOVE drop dead Fred!!!!!

For now neither of mine have imaginary friends, DD just blames her little brother for everything she does anyway!

I would play along with it, but if bobby does something wrong I would get your DD to explain to bobby why it's wrong and tell her to stand at the bottom of the stairs while bobby is sitting on them in time out to make sure he doesn't go anywhere. That way she isn't off playing but at the same time isn't being punished for somthing bobby did!!!!! getting her to explain to bobby why it's naughty might make her think about it?!!
Good luck