to everyone in a similar situation. And to ilovediznee: enjoy your Sunday!I'm not a parent, but I cared for my parents and uncle for fifteen years in addition to working full time (usually at least 60 hours weekly). My father had Alzheimers for 12 years before his death, which was horrendously expensive, and for seven of those years I was a candidate for a sleep deprivation study! I was lucky if I had two hours sleep each night--and that was interrupted!
Even when he was in the nursing home during his last two year, I was there until he settled down around 1 or 2 a.m. nearly every night. When he passed on, I slept for four days--just got up for a drink of water and to use the facilities. Scared my mother to no end! *LOL*While our experiences are different, the results are the same. We're exhausted, stressed, and we take care of everyone except ourselves. I used to get up at 4:30 in the morning just to have time to exercise (job is very sedentary) and organize my day before everyone else was up and moving! I still do when the weather is warm--or hot!--it's really nice to watch the world awakening.
As others have mentioned, I have done two things that made a big difference in my life: learn how to say NO and simplify everything as much as possible. I'm still paying medical expenses from my parents (thankfully, my uncle had good insurance!), but I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
What you choose to say NO to will be different that what I do--you have a young daughter. But you and your DH can determine what is important to you outside your immediate family and when it is appropriate to say NO to others--even your DD occasionally. While her needs are paramount for the most part, they also have to fit into the means of the family without causing excessive stress.
It looks like you already are beginning to work through existing issues and develop a plan for the future. And making plans--even if there are detours--is helpful for reaching your destination! Good luck!
