Anybody else totally stressed - 2 jobs, house, husband, kids!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Budget Board' started by ilovediznee, May 26, 2010.

  1. ilovediznee

    ilovediznee Always planning our next trip home to Disney!!!

    Apr 30, 2001
    I am so ready for a break! I don't know about anybody else, but I am exhausted! I work FT, PT to pay off medical bills, have the house, a husband, a daughter, school stuff winding down, summer camp stuff to pay for. Did anyone notice I didn't mention a THING for me? If I'm at home, I do stuff at home because I feel guilty for not "doing" something. I have worked either at my FT or PT job everyday since Mother's Day, so I told my husband that if ANYONE bothers me this Sunday, I will blow up since it is my first whole day off! While I have the whole weekend off from my PT job, our DD's b'day party is Saturday night, we have a graduation party to go to on Friday, so Sunday is it! And the reality is that even though Sunday should be a spiritual day, I hate Sundays because wash, the house, meals and getting ready for the next week.

    As you can see, I am not a happy person right now. My DH said today, "what can I do to help and what is wrong?" Well, I'd like to be out of debt so I could actually go out to dinner every once in awhile or even a bit of shopping, I'd like someone else to clean up the house, cook, put away the wash (he washes all the clothes), I'd like someone to do all the planning getting DD to and from school and now summer activities and someone to do all the other stuff I do. Besides that, I'm happy.

    Please don't go into "if you work both FT and PT why doesn't your DH and DD do more?" Well, they do more and I email the every night I am working a list of what to do, but it seems never ending.

    I KNOW there are other people in my boat and I am just looking for support!

    Thanks - Diane :eek::eek::eek::eek:
  2. zigzagzerr

    zigzagzerr DIS Veteran

    Jul 7, 2006
    Wow, things do sound busy for you! :hug:

    Hope you enjoy your Sunday.
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  4. lovesmurfs

    lovesmurfs DIS Veteran

    Jun 24, 2006
    Been there. :hug: I totally understand how you feel. You need to find joy in little things and carve out bits of quiet.

    For me, walking to the lakefront with my sack lunch (I work in Chicago) is as good as a vacation. Or I'll bring my laptop to Panera or Caribou Coffee and drink coffee and play on the Web. Or I'll visit my local nursery and just stroll.

    So...Sunday. What are you going to do FOR YOU? It sounds pretty boring, but you need to make a list, or you'll be sitting around on Sunday night wondering what happened to the day.

    Hang in there.
  5. HeatherC

    HeatherC <font color=blue>Alas...these people I live with t

    May 23, 2003
    You have my support!!!:)

    I am a SAHM of 3 kids ages 9, 11 and 13. I work as a substitute teacher at the elementary school in town. Well after working a couple days straight and then racing home to get dinner going and race to baseball or soccer practices and game, I have been one cranky mommy. I actually took my phone off the hook this morning so they didn't call me in! And what have I been doing? Fourteen loads of laundry!

    I honestly do not know how you do it. Truly. I understand that once you are in a "routine" it is supposed to get easier. But I don't buy that.

    As American's our lifestyles are crazy!! Racing here, racing there. And really for what? I tell people that I could not work full time and I truly mean that. Yes...I know people will say they have no choice and have to. I get that. But for me, I honestly cannot handle the stress of a continuous rat race. I really believe that it is much better for our family to have me working PT.

    So...kudos to you. I truly support you and hope you have a terrific Sunday.
  6. Lunchlady

    Lunchlady Mouseketeer

    May 9, 2006
    Your life sounds just like mine. I work a M-F job and every weekend I work at a PT job. I also live in a city named Lexington but in NC. I am taking this Saturday off but it has been since the last of April since my last day off. I know EXACTLY how tired you can get!!! Not only your body but also your mind. Just remember to take care of yourself mentally. You will never be able to care of everything if you don't. I sometimes get so depressed going to work EVERY weekend but I try to think how lucky I am to have 2 jobs when some people can't find one job to support their family. And I keeping telling myself that I won't have to do this forever!! I'm here if you need to vent!!!!!!
  7. java

    java <font color=darkorchid>I am embracing the Turkey B

    Jan 18, 2005
    I woke up screaming the other night- it's that time of year again- the stress builds. The flurry of activities and concerts and games and whatever....

    It sounds like you need a breather. And take that break Sunday. :hug:
  8. JesB

    JesB Earning My Ears

    Apr 22, 2010
    I understand how you feel I work both a FT and a PT job, go to school full-time and home school my DS. I'm tired, stressed and haven't had a day off in months. I've paid off some of our bills and paid for our upcoming trip. I still have a long way to go but, I've decided to take sometime off from my second job. After two years at this pace I need a break. Good luck to you and I hope you enjoy your day off. It will get better.:goodvibes
  9. QVCshopper

    QVCshopper DIS Veteran

    Dec 8, 2008
    I totally agree with this and have just dropped out of the modern rat race. I try my best to live simply and limit how much we do. When I stopped caring about what other people think, I found I had more time for me and my family b/c I wasn't racing here and there buying this and that. Last month, I didn't spend any money for 15 days--check out the no-buy thread!

    To the OP, I feel for you. I worked 7 days a week (8 hours a day) for 16 weeks straight in college, but I didn't have my own children back then. I needed to do it to pay for college. I suggest simplifying your like if possible, combining errands, making simpler dinners, and doing 1 load of laundry/day to keep up. Accept what you do as good enough, and be happy with that. Good luck and enjoy Sunday.
  10. QVCshopper

    QVCshopper DIS Veteran

    Dec 8, 2008
    How do you do all that? You are amazing!
  11. ilovediznee

    ilovediznee Always planning our next trip home to Disney!!!

    Apr 30, 2001
    Thanks everyone for their support and it gives me "some" relief to know I am not the only person.

    Let's all keep the good wishes going for everyone in the same boat who has also responded.

    I just went to a seminar at work on "stress managment" and they said this type of communication and venting if you will, can really help others.

    Thanks - Diane:thumbsup2
  12. gracie1

    gracie1 DIS Veteran

    Apr 5, 2009
    Does your husband work as well or just yourself? Is your daughter old enough to be left at home so maybe he could get a pt job also and maybe the debt could get paid down faster.
  13. mousefanmichelle

    mousefanmichelle DIS Veteran

    Jun 29, 2006
    I totally understand! This time of the year is nuts! I work F/T days my dh works F/T nites so I am the only parent at home with the kids and therefore the only one who runs them here, there, everywhere.
    Right now it's softball games 3 days a wk, drivers training 4 days a week, I work 1 hour away from home so it is tuff to get where we need to be on time cuz everything starts earlier than I want it too!!! I have to still cook dinner everynite but we aren't eating until 9-10pm. Throw in there band concerts, choir concerts and the like that while should be done during school hours are not!
    I actually have found myself sleeping in my car during lunch to get sometime to re-coup and relax.
    Can't wait til summer break when things simmer down a bit kwim.
    Good luck with everything you have going on and find a few minutes to just quiet your soul so that you don't stress too much!
  14. mrsbornkuntry

    mrsbornkuntry <font color=FF6666>I'm worried about raccoons<br><

    Jul 8, 2004
    I understand, although I am a SAHM between volunteering, sports, graduations, and family obligations I am very stressed out right now. This is just a horrendously busy time of year for me.

    To relax I try to fit in a bath once in awhile, not too long, just long enough to melt away a little stress. Also taking a few minutes for a family walk after dinner once a week or so gives us some time to reconnect.
  15. labdogs42

    labdogs42 DIS Veteran

    Dec 2, 2005
    I only have one job and I get stressed out. Being a working mommy is tough. I say, plan some ALONE time for yourself on Sunday and stick to the plan! Let your DH and DD clean the house and plan the meals for a day. You deserve a break! I hope you get it!
  16. *pixie*dust*

    *pixie*dust* DIS Veteran

    Jul 10, 2008
    I can understand your stress OP. I am a single mom, work 45 hours a week, got to school full time and own a home. It is a never ending balancing act. Hang on, steal a few moments of time when you can get them. Make your vacations and time off count!
  17. madcat

    madcat Mouseketeer

    Jun 23, 2006
    I am right there with you! work I work f/t am also a f/t student and I do a little freelance writing on the side. I have two sons and three dogs.. not to mention the mess that my huband makes ;) ... Yes life can get hectic, you just HAVE to be selfish sometimes or you will lose yourself.
  18. DawnM

    DawnM DIS Veteran

    Oct 4, 2005
    I have too. It just isn't worth it to me anymore to have *stuff* at the expense of health and TIME with family.

    We made huge changes in our lives to get to this point though.....much less expensive house, not buying much, driving older cars, etc.....

    Best wishes to the OP and I hope you find some respite.


  19. patsal

    patsal <font color=FF3399>I've discovered I don't need to

    Jul 10, 2001
    I was in the same boat but also juggling grad school at the same time. It will get better. I look back on it now and wonder how the heck I did it all.
    I learned two things: The only person who cared about the housework was me, so if I let it slack a bit it was ok so long as I got to it the next time I had time; and This too shall pass is a wonderful mantra for helping to get through it. The bills will go away once paid allowing you to ease up or quit the second job, the kids will grow and hopefully help you out about the house a bit. When it is all said and done, I think we often put too much pressure on ourselves.
  20. Jill in Chicago

    Jill in Chicago DIS Veteran

    Mar 11, 2007
    As I read this I could just imagine everything spinning faster and faster and faster and you falling off.

    Please think about the additional part time work and if that can stop. Can you contact the places you owe money and ask for lower payments? Because of the part time work are you making additional expenses (for instance could you cook cheaper, shop for more bargains... things you do not have time for now?)

    Can you skip the summer camp and the expense? Is this something your daughter loves and looks forward to? Then I can see it. Otherwise that is out.

    Do not volunteer. Do not go to anything unless you have to. Stop everything you can possibly stop. Quit putting laundry away unless it wrinkles. Socks and undies can stay right in the laundry basket. Who cares?!

    I am so worried about you!!! Please take care of yourself!
  21. Ratpack

    Ratpack WL VET DVC Gold

    Apr 9, 2002
    Hello...I live in Lexington too!! You could have written this for ME~ as well as other moms out there right now.

    We are right there with you..I am a teacher and a mom of 3. I feel stretched beyond the breaking point, but I still have so much more to do before next week. Truly, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be Super Woman, but we have to realize that we are Super Women already!!

    Hang in there...and make sure Sunday is a YOU day!!!! :lovestruc

    And once school is out (5 days to go) me...we'll go together and have some coffee and discuss Disney! ::MickeyMo At least I know that we have that in common and it makes us feel so much better!!

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