Anybody else totally stressed - 2 jobs, house, husband, kids!!!!!!

[ilovediznee]

Just got home from work, it wasn't too busy tonight, I'm just tired. I wanted to answer the questions I saw on posts so here they are:

-no DD is only 9 so she can't stay home by herself
-DH can't get a PT job because I didn't tell you all that he also sometimes travels so never knows his schedule
-I already contacted those I owe money too, I call at least one a month or two and they won't reduce my payments.
-yes, I do need to work to do pay all my stuff BUT in July I get a extra check so a lot will be paid off. After that I will still need to work, but not as much.

Yes, I am worried about myself too, BUT I do have a little good news. My schedule at my PT job next week is less than I thought. I signed up to work on Memorial Day but we are only open until 7pm so they don't need me! I am only working Tuesday night from 5-9 and Saturday night from 5-10pm. I have jury duty Wednesday and a graduation on Thursday, grad party on Friday and a graduation ceremony on Saturday, but at least these are fun things and I'm not working.

For the person in Lexington, SC, I'll pm you!

Diane

 

[lalijack]

OP, I am 100% with you! This time of year drives me nuts, with the end-of-school concerts and projects and tests, field trips and field days, plus wrapping up extracurricular activities and getting the house, yard, and pool ready for the summer. Gah!

I work p/t hours, 5 days/week. I am also in the process of starting my own online store. DH works a full-time and part-time job, which leaves me schlepping our kids back and forth to all their various activities. Also, I co-lead a Brownie troop of 18 girls. I managed to pay (cash!) for our upcoming July trip without dipping into my household $$ or asking DH for any money. Whenever I tell people that I can't wait for the kids' summer vacation to start, they roll their eyes at me as if I'm nuts! But I am really looking forward to the more relaxed days of summer, with no sunrise-to-sunset sprinting around town!

If it helps, I have found that my commute time (30 minutes minimum each way) is a great time to enjoy a really good cup of iced coffee and some quiet. I turn off the radio, sip my coffee, and revel in the quiet. Not fancy or expensive, but I'll take any sort of down-time I can get.

I wish you peace and some relaxation! Please let us know how your Sunday goes!

 

[Suz D]

I'm blessed to have a wonderfully supportive husband who makes sure I have time to fill my own cup, I've been working at simplifying my life so that it is less stress for our whole family. If mama is doing well everything seems to run better. I have one suggestion and two comments.

Suggestion: try to carve out just a tiny bit of time for a quick prayer or meditation (preferably in the morning). If you can set your alarm for 5 minutes earlier and just lay in bed for that extra 5 minutes focusing your thoughts that might help calm you for your hectic day.

Comment #1: I really appreciate that everyone is supporting the OP instead of flaming. It's been a joy to read the posts on this thread.

Comment #2: In my prayers tonight I will ask for a special blessing for those of you who are feeling really overwhelmed right now. I hope that you are able to find a little bit of R&R over the next few days.

For those who aren't the praying type, just know that there is someone out there tonight who is thinking about you and wishing you peace.

 

[buzz5985]

It's tough - but I have learned to say NO!!!! LOL I work nights, DH works days, so it's usually up to him for the sports/school events. For the first time in a long time we both have Saturday/Sundays off. That being said - this is how we manage. I don't say yes to every invitation. I don't go to every graduation party, wedding, baby shower. But I do send a gift.

I only shop/do errands once a week. That's it. OK - I will go get TP if needed. LOL I plan menus. I cook a turkey/roast beef/chicken on Sundays - use the leftovers for lunches (I have a slicer to cut it nice and thin for sandwiches). I only cook maybe 3 times a week, we love leftovers.

When DS is involved in after school/sports we will approach other parents to set up car pools, etc. People are more than happy to help - especially knowing they can also rely on you.

I do laundry every day, without fail. I have 3 laundry baskets marked white, warm and cold. As my family disrobes they throw their clothes in the correct bin. When that basket is 3/4 full - that's a load of wash. I take whatever bin is full, and throw it in the wash the minute I get up.

Just remember when your tired and ready to pull your hair out - your working towards a goal, and once you get there, you can relax. I have a problem with relaxing. When I do have time to relax, I feel guilty I should be doing something. LOL

 

[Jen_in_NH]

OP, I feel your pain Right now, I work my regular FT and PT jobs. That makes about 60 hours per week, although is only 4 days (my FT job is 24 hour shifts). During the summer, i add another PT job, so end up working about 76 hours per week. The schedule is crazy for those 2 months, but the money is too good to pass up. DH knows it's hectic, and is great about keeping up with the housework and such. We figure if I can keep this schedule going this summer, we may look at dropping the year round PT job next year, but it will depend. DS has quite a bit of medical bills not covered by our insurance, so I may need to keep with it.

Good luck finding time for yourself. I know how hard it can be, and I always find myself feeling guilty when I do it. In my head, I know I need to, but in my heart, I think I need to be home with my family getting something done.

 

[Trish Bessette]

OP at your full time job I assume you have vacation time?? Why don't you plan to take a day off for just you. A day when your DD is in school so it will be quiet and just for you.

I do this a few times a year and I just love it. Get your favorite lunch and just enjoy doing whatever you want.

 

[DisKim]

Oh, believe me, I know how you feel! I work full time as a teacher and I have 4 kids. I also spent most of this year finishing up my master's degree (I'm done with that thankfully!). I am stressed every single day of my life. I don't know what it is like to sit down. I don't sit down until it is time to go to bed! I agree with you that it is therapeutic just to vent and let it out there. When I am really feeling up against the wall though, I try to count my blessings. There are 4 big blessings in my life and I am also blessed to have a job that I love. If I have to work, at least it is something that makes me happy. Hang in there and try to relax on Sunday!

 

[SDSorority]

I am so ready for a break! I don't know about anybody else, but I am exhausted! I work FT, PT to pay off medical bills, have the house, a husband, a daughter, school stuff winding down, summer camp stuff to pay for. Did anyone notice I didn't mention a THING for me? If I'm at home, I do stuff at home because I feel guilty for not "doing" something. I have worked either at my FT or PT job everyday since Mother's Day, so I told my husband that if ANYONE bothers me this Sunday, I will blow up since it is my first whole day off! While I have the whole weekend off from my PT job, our DD's b'day party is Saturday night, we have a graduation party to go to on Friday, so Sunday is it! And the reality is that even though Sunday should be a spiritual day, I hate Sundays because wash, the house, meals and getting ready for the next week.

As you can see, I am not a happy person right now. My DH said today, "what can I do to help and what is wrong?" Well, I'd like to be out of debt so I could actually go out to dinner every once in awhile or even a bit of shopping, I'd like someone else to clean up the house, cook, put away the wash (he washes all the clothes), I'd like someone to do all the planning getting DD to and from school and now summer activities and someone to do all the other stuff I do. Besides that, I'm happy.

Please don't go into "if you work both FT and PT why doesn't your DH and DD do more?" Well, they do more and I email the every night I am working a list of what to do, but it seems never ending.

I KNOW there are other people in my boat and I am just looking for support!

Thanks - Diane

Hi. I think I am your clone. I too have a FT job and a PT job and a house and a husband and do ALLL of the wash, cleaning, cooking, errands, etc etc etc. I SOOOO know where you're coming from and it IS overwhelming.

How do I cope with it all? Here are some tricks that I do.

1- When I'm making dinner in the evening, I make 3 or 4 servings for the two of us and use the leftovers as lunches for the next day.

2- I focus on what is most important (chore wise) for the week and anything else is extra. If we have a party, I'll ONLY focus on the rooms that the guests will be in to clean. If I, by the grace of God, have extra time to spare, I'll tackle another room.

3-I throw in a load of laundry when I'm making dinner. By the time we're done with dinner, it's done washing and I can toss it in the dryer to put away right before bed.

4- I squeeze in exercise 1st thing in the morning, over my lunch (walk outside), or while dinner is in the oven. Every little bit helps.

5- On the weekends (when I have my PT job), I get up early (like I do during the week) and throw in laundry and work on the outside of the house (pulling weeds, trimming, etc). Just a small project, nothing major. Just enough to make the house look cleaned up.

6- Sometimes I do grocery shopping on my lunch break instead of exercising, depending on how the week is going.

Did I mention that I'm ALSO trying to start up a home business in the midst of all of this? When I get that off the ground, the current FT job is going out the window and since I'll be home, I'll be able to take a 5 min break here and there and do some housework. It'll be FABULOUS.

 

[ilovediznee]

All of you have really helped me. I did get some sleep last night and feel a little better this morning. Like I said last night, I have to work tonight and then I'm off until Tuesday at my PT job so at least I don't have to worry about that.

My BFF just called me too and said she bought me a gift at Target - a relaxation CD so I can hardly wait to get it!

I am trying to keep a positive attitude today so I'm not already worn out when I get to work tonight.

Thanks and let's keep this going for all the others as well! I think we all do too much, I know I do! Sometimes just hearing a kind word from others can really help and all of you have come thru - THANKS!

I will post an update on Sunday as to what I am or should I say NOT DOING!

Diane

 

[JesB]

How do you do all that? You are amazing!

I'm not sure about amazing, but thank you. I do without alot of sleep.

 

[ilovediznee]

Bump - keep them coming!!!

 

[lalijack]

Comment #1: I really appreciate that everyone is supporting the OP instead of flaming. It's been a joy to read the posts on this thread.

Comment #2: In my prayers tonight I will ask for a special blessing for those of you who are feeling really overwhelmed right now. I hope that you are able to find a little bit of R&R over the next few days.

For those who aren't the praying type, just know that there is someone out there tonight who is thinking about you and wishing you peace.

Suz D, as I read through the posts last night, I was just waiting for someone to flame the OP. It IS really nice to see that no one did! What a pleasant surprise!

Add me to the list of people who'll be praying for blessings for those of us who feel overwhelmed.

 

[manhattan]

That was me last year, full time and part time job, DH, 3 kids and home....I was able to finally quit my PT job a few months ago and am so relieved that my crazy hours are over. And that is the great news for you too, it will end, hopefully soon. DH was great, never complained about doing things that needed to get done, my older kids helped my little one with homework and Sunday nights was my quality time with my family. I was lucky that my PT job was not stressful, so when I got home at night, I didn't feel like my evening was gone, but I was able to talk to my DH for a bit before calling it a night.

Just remember each day as it passes, you are one day closer to your goal.

 

[ilovediznee]

Just remember each day as it passes, you are one day closer to your goal. ​

Very sweet and I plan to print it out with a little frame around it and put it on my desk.

I am reviewing my "finances" tomorrow and reviewing my budget spreadsheet to see where things are. I hope to actually have a bit of money left after my July check. I would really love to go on a big grocery shopping trip and get stocked up on things. There are so many things that actually cost a bunch and having one or two on hand would be nice. I am a good couponer and CVSaholic so most, not all, but most toiletries are either free or very cheap for me. It's more of the other things that we use every week that I'd like to get. I've also done a 30 day menu and I want to "map out" how much it would cost to buy all the ingredients. Many would use some of the same things like onions, hamburger meat, etc.

My parents have also sent a check or two to us to help, so that has eleviated some of the burden.

I also need to call the cable people about my bill because we have a bundle package with cable, phone and internet and I think the 2 year agreement comes up in June. If that is the case, I plan to really push them to lower my amount. I know many have said they call and tell them they are going to completely cancel service and that seems to rattle their cages into making changes to your account.

Wish me luck! Diane

 

[lovesmurfs]

Just remember each day as it passes, you are one day closer to your goal. ​

Wish me luck! Diane

Good luck!!

While we're quoting, I've got a couple of other good ones:

• All the water in the world won't sink a ship, unless it gets on the inside.
• Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

 

[lalijack]

OP, not to throw fuel on the fire by suggesting you take on MORE activities, but have you considered selling unused toys, clothing, etc., online? In April, I decided to finally get rid of my kids' old VHS tapes, DVDs, clothing they've outgrown, and toys they no longer use. Seven weeks later, I'm just over $1000 richer! If you had told me I could have sold old Gamecube games and Sesame Street VHS tapes and end up with that much money, I'd have laughed at you. It took patience and a bit of time, but it was well worth it. I used Half.com and eBay to sell most of my stuff. Just a suggestion, since you said that part of your stress in related to finances.

 

[4forWDW]

Thanks so much for posting OP
I really feel your pain - I am also working a FT and PT job and have been PT for 11 mos. It all started when they cut my pay at my FT job 20% last March. I am salary so my pay was cut but not my hours. My dh said he would find a PT job since I needed to be with our children (dd 12 - ds 9) to help them with homework etc. When he didn't find a PT job I had to. It has been very, very stressful. We weren't very financially fit before my paycut and the paycut was the straw that broke the camel's back - so to speak. My full pay was reinstated last November but we haven't managed to catch back up. It seems we are always behind in one bill or another. My dh doesn't help much with housework so when I do have a Sat or Sun off it is like it is a marathon day of cleaning, catching up etc. I have also not had a day off since Mother's Day (which I spent cleaning). I am hoping that when school is out - 6 more days - that things will slow down - even just a little.
Hang in there -we're with you!!
Thanks also for the thoughts in general from all other posters!
WDW fans are the best

 

[4forWDW]

OP, not to throw fuel on the fire by suggesting you take on MORE activities, but have you considered selling unused toys, clothing, etc., online? In April, I decided to finally get rid of my kids' old VHS tapes, DVDs, clothing they've outgrown, and toys they no longer use. Seven weeks later, I'm just over $1000 richer! If you had told me I could have sold old Gamecube games and Sesame Street VHS tapes and end up with that much money, I'd have laughed at you. It took patience and a bit of time, but it was well worth it. I used Half.com and eBay to sell most of my stuff. Just a suggestion, since you said that part of your stress in related to finances.

Thanks for this suggestion. I need right around $1000 to get caught up then I can work on our emergency fund. My dd has quite a bit of Limited Too/Justice clothing I could sell. Have you had luck selling clothes on eBay? Do you sell anything on Craigslist?
Thanks again

 

[ilovediznee]

Thanks for the ideas on selling stuff. I used to sell A LOT on ebay, but their fees went skyrocketing so I stopped. I may go thru the house and do some stuff on half.com but I also have to have the time to do it.

I'd love to do a garage sale but they usually don't lead to much unless you have several people doing it as well. I may run the idea past some of my friends for a Saturday I am not working.

Thanks - Diane

 

[lalijack]

Thanks for this suggestion. I need right around $1000 to get caught up then I can work on our emergency fund. My dd has quite a bit of Limited Too/Justice clothing I could sell. Have you had luck selling clothes on eBay? Do you sell anything on Craigslist?
Thanks again

Yes, all the clothing I've sold has been sold on eBay. Limited Too/Justice clothing can do well if you are VERY thorough with your descriptions. I dabbled in Craigslist, but found too many people who were only interested in setting up no-shows. I don't have time for games, so now I stick to eBay for clothing and shoe sales.

Used books, VHS tapes, CDs and DVDs go on either Half or Amazon (search before listing to see which one will get you a higher price). Also, I only accept PayPal as payment....makes my life much easier!

Thanks for the ideas on selling stuff. I used to sell A LOT on ebay, but their fees went skyrocketing so I stopped. I may go thru the house and do some stuff on half.com but I also have to have the time to do it.

I'd love to do a garage sale but they usually don't lead to much unless you have several people doing it as well. I may run the idea past some of my friends for a Saturday I am not working.

Thanks - Diane

I totally agree about eBay's fees! It stinks to give them so much, but I figure that whatever I get is better than holding onto this stuff. If I sell it, I have the money AND I don't have this stuff cluttering up the house. Win-win!