Well, I'm back. I cried in the waiting room...cried when the nurse asked me if I was on birth control...cried when the dr asked me if something was bothering me because my blood pressure was higher than normal.
I kept telling myself..you can do this, you are strong, you don't need to cry...so much for that!
I feel so stupid.
Anyways..
First thing my dr. said was to calm down because stress can hurt things. She knows its hard, but I need to concentrate on the positive...such as my body has already done this before so we know it can do it, we just need to find out what's taking so long this time. She said I'm a lot luckier than others in the waiting room who don't even know if their bodies can do it. I know that's true, so of course now I feel guilty.
She looked at my charts and said they look good except that I O late (CD17-20) so my luteal phase is a little shorter than she would like.
Our first step is for me to take an insulin resistance test, which she thinks will be positive based on my history. With DS, I didn't have gestational diabetes, but I was put on bed rest at 32 weeks due to high blood pressure and she said I probably would have developed pre-e if DS hadn't arrived 4 weeks early. Also, my mom and grandma are diabetic. And, I carry a lot of my weight in my chest, so that's another sign. I'm going in for the two hour test tomorrow. I was thrilled to hear they were open on Saturdays, so I'm going tomorrow morning to get it over with! She said if it comes out positive, which she thinks it will, she'll start me on Glucophage which she says sometimes helps things along.
She did comment that since I was just pregnant in April and have only had one loss so far, that I haven't realy been trying for a year since then. So that makes me think she may hold off on trying too much right now. I'm a bit bummed about that, but I understand.
So, part of me doesn't want to fail the test tomorrow, but part of me wants to so that I can try to fix it. If it could be something that "simple" I would be thrilled.
Of course, I also need to eat better and lose weight. I weigh a decent amount more now than when I got pregnant with DS...so I plan on starting to work on that for real on Monday. DH starts school on Monday so he'll be getting up early...I plan on getting up with him to exercise.
So, for now, I have a plan. Hopefully next time I return to the dr I can control my emotions more!
. 
, Allison.
