any one save more carefully because they know they wont receive an inheritance?

[lattemomof3]

In our small town, it literally seems as if almost everyone we know will be receiving a fairly large inheritance someday. There is quite a bit of "keeping up with the Jones's" around here, and we wonder if knowing you can expect a nice windfall contributes to that. A large portion of our small town works for their families' businesses, which explains some of that. Dh and I won't be getting much of an inheritance, if any, so I think having that in the back of our minds does make us more aware of our emergency and retirement savings. We own our own business, so anything we have or will have is up to us to make and save for.

As I was driving a basketball camp carpool this week, a 7 year old girl asked my son if he was using his grandparents camper or staying at his grandparents cabin this weekend, she seemed surprised when he told her his grandparents did'nt have either.
I truly don't begrudge people for receiving inheritances or financial help from parents, I guess I am just wondering if there is anyone else out there who has to rely on only themselves, because we are surrounded by some lucky people.

 

[eeyorethegreat]

IMOH It is foolish not to save for your own family because of a presumed inheiritance to be given on another's death. Wills change, people live a long time and while one is living they are under no obligation to save their money for their heirs. Seems like a really bad plan to me.

 

[Colleen27]

I think it is folly to count on any inheritance, though I do view family businesses a bit differently because that is neither a one-time windfall nor something that is likely to be depleted by late-in-life expenses. But a traditional inheritance? Why would anyone count on something that could so easily be depleted by the medical expenses that are almost inseparably associated with aging and death?

 

[marie1203]

We never count on any inheritance. Would we probably get a good amount some day, yes. My grandma has a lot of money she got paintings that are worth over $80,000, but that is not our place. I am grandmas favorite and multiple times when we have visited her she asked us what do we want, so she can write down. Multiple times we have said nothing. My grandpa's family was divided, because of the inheritance they got, so if in any way that will mean problems with my family is just not worth it to us. She had divided most of it in the past few years including 2 business, now what is left is their bank accounts, 3 real estate properties, her jewelry which is supposed to be worth a lot (I never seen all of it just pieces that she has gotten out of the bank for events) and her stuff in the house which is also worth a lot. My understanding from the last time we saw her is that all her kids have got their part already and what is left will be divided between the grandchildren there is 5 of us, so I guess we will see. But to answer that no we do not count with any inheritance money to plan our financial situation.

 

[Belle5]

We might have received something from the inlaws, but after my FIL passed (he and MIL retired in FL...far away from all their kids so no one could observe them) MIL, who had undetected Alzheimer's, went on a spending spree. She would practically give away her house, buy another without even walking into it and pay full price (literally...never walked inside just bought it on the spot). She did this a couple of times. She gave her DD (50 years old who has all sorts of issues...bankruptcies, etc.) all kinds of bail-out money and all before her Alzheimer's was detected. No one knew she was giving it away until after she was put in a care facility. Now, she has been in an Alzheimer facility for seven years and lots of $$ has been used for her care (as it should be). Most of the money that might have been given to the kids will pretty much be used up by the time she passes.

I certainly wouldn't BANK on a future inheritance...life is too uncertain!

 

[Reddy]

with the cost nursing homes - I wouldn't count on anything
I got the panio already in my house - parents said I get the Pig cookie jar - otherwise I'm sure the other kids will get the things (I really don't want or need my parents stuff)

as for in-laws - they have a 1 bedroom apartment but I"m sure someone else will have everything before we get to the funeral if anything is left after nursing home care

 

[momxx5]

First, DH & I know we are on our own....in so many ways. Not just financially but also physically & emotionally. We cannot depend on grandparents/parents for anything. When our babies were born we were totally on our own.

Anyway, we also live in a small towm (relatives live 600+ miles away). In our town grandparents play a huge part of the family lives. Most people my age have parents who help with everything from child care, to purchasing all the back-to-school suppies, new shoes, plus have vacation homes. Most of them have family homes at the beach (2-3 hrs from here) and a good 95% of my children's friends spend some of the summer at the beach with their grandparents. It is just the way it is around here. Grandparents are the ones buying the sweet 16 yr old a car/truck.

At school events...band concerts, football games, etc. the whole extended family attends....always! I have come to know most of my children's grandparents by name because they are always there. I do sometimes feel frustrated that our kids's grandparents choose to live their lives not connected.

I know you question was about inheritance, it also struck a nerve with me, because I know not only will there be no inheritance, there also will not be all the "grandparent" type memories.

Growing up my siblings and I were very close to our grandparents. But I guess its the distance too that makes the relationships harder.

 

[wisconsinmom]

I don't count on one, but it is a good chance that I'll get a pretty large one.

I save as if we are going to get nothing.

 

[JaymeC]

We may get a small inheritance from my grandfather... but that's about it and we obviously plan for not receiving anything. We also don't get any financial or other help from either set of parents. My inlaws had a LOT of kids and have 3 still at home and are struggling because of the recession (FIL's industry was hit very hard). My family have always been very bad at managing their money (besides grandpa) and I expect nothing on that end and possibly bills to be truthful.

So, you're not alone. We don't even really have anyone to do the simple little things like watching the kids for us. It's never been too much of an issue, but I do admit that it makes me a little sad some days.

 

[JB2K]

Most people my age have parents who help..............to purchasing all the back-to-school suppies, new shoes, plus have vacation homes. Most of them have family homes at the beach (2-3 hrs from here) and a good 95% of my children's friends spend some of the summer at the beach with their grandparents. It is just the way it is around here. Grandparents are the ones buying the sweet 16 yr old a car/truck.

Not where I come from -- I guess I'm not living in a "normal" world?

 

[DeaverTex]

I'm an only child, and Mrs. Tex and I were thinking that we'd eventually get a pretty nice inheritance from my parents. Of course, the market thud ate a lot of that, and then my mom died.

Now, my dad is an old-fashioned sort. After my mom died, he remarried, and changed his will so that his wife (who was/is my aunt) was the sole beneficiary, because that's what you're supposed to do. He insists that I'll be "taken care of" when she dies, but Mrs. Tex and I are pretty much certain that she'll take care of her own two children first. One is doing fine, but the other is extremely learning disabled and will require lifetime care and supervision -- and has a son of her own who'll be starting college in a year. (Not to mention that she's only 15 years older than us, and comes from a very long-lived family.)

I think the world of my aunt/step-mom, but I don't see any mother NOT taking care of her own kids and grandkids first.

 

[CTdiznymom]

By the time I inherit it, I'll be too old to enjoy it

 

[momxx5]

JB2K - We are not from here (central NC) but this is a smaller town. Everyone went to school with each other, or knows where they graduation from. Most people know the other's kinfolk, etc.

Grandparents are a central part of families. Everyone goes to Granny's from Christmas, Easter, Aunt Susie's 66th birthday, etc.

And most of the older generation purchased beach homes that have become family summer homes. So the parents & kids (families like mine) pack it up and go to the beach house for weeks at a time.

I am sometimes envious of the large extended families that some have. Like at my DD's dance recital....people where saving whole rows of 10-15 seats for grandmas, aunts, cousins, etc.

Our situation is def different than others's around here.
Again...its small town central NC USA.

 

[lattemomof3]

First, DH & I know we are on our own....in so many ways. Not just financially but also physically & emotionally. We cannot depend on grandparents/parents for anything. When our babies were born we were totally on our own.

Anyway, we also live in a small towm (relatives live 600+ miles away). In our town grandparents play a huge part of the family lives. Most people my age have parents who help with everything from child care, to purchasing all the back-to-school suppies, new shoes, plus have vacation homes. Most of them have family homes at the beach (2-3 hrs from here) and a good 95% of my children's friends spend some of the summer at the beach with their grandparents. It is just the way it is around here. Grandparents are the ones buying the sweet 16 yr old a car/truck.

At school events...band concerts, football games, etc. the whole extended family attends....always! I have come to know most of my children's grandparents by name because they are always there. I do sometimes feel frustrated that our kids's grandparents choose to live their lives not connected.

I know you question was about inheritance, it also struck a nerve with me, because I know not only will there be no inheritance, there also will not be all the "grandparent" type memories.

Growing up my siblings and I were very close to our grandparents. But I guess its the distance too that makes the relationships harder.

This struck a chord with me, I truly don't have any jealousy over inheritance money, dh has a good job and we have everything we need (perhaps not all at once, & definately not everything we WANT, but we do ok), but I probably am jealous of the very involved grandparents in our town. It sounds exactly like your town, exactly. DH and I have always been on our own, financially, and with raising our kids. I guess that's why if feels like the weight of the world is on our shoulders sometimes, we are surrounded by people who have so much HELP, both financially and with their kids. Its, well, a little lonely. DH and I have been away from our kids overnight for 1 night, and they are 12, 9 and 5, so it's frustrating to see all the neighborhood kids' grandparents arguing about which set gets to keep them every weekend. Not that I want to get rid of my kids often, but It would be nice to have that support.

 

[Julia M]

I imagine dh and I will receive a modest inheritance from his mother (50-100K range) and very likely a little more from my parents (maybe 200-300K). But alot depends on an unknown future. My parents are in their mid 70's and still in their home. If they stay healthy and just drop dead from a heart attack down the road, there will likely be a larger amount. If one or both need care, the picture will change. They both have long term care insurance, but who knows?

I've never made any plans or assumed we'd get anything. If we do, it will be a nice bonus.

If we do receive anything, we will likely take our family (meaning our kids and their families, if they have any at that point) on a nice vacation (think cruise or Hawaii) and bank the rest.

Julia

 

[bdcp]

What's with grandchildren expecting to inherit? My parents got what little our grandparents had. My mom did write my sister's and I each a $1,000 check out of her portion from my grandmother because that's what she wanted. I bought a couple of pieces for the living room (wing chair, crystal lamp) that would last for a long time. We expect nothing, but we could get a bit depending on a couple of things. Both sets of parents live on ss and fed gov retirements so any investments they have are currently not being used. But, that of course could change if nursing homes come into the picture.

I can't believe people live and spend with the expectation of inheriting anything. A lot will end up being very disappointed.

 

[kimsuenew]

Not where I come from -- I guess I'm not living in a "normal" world?

Nor am I!

My M-I-L received about 10K from an aunt 25 or so years ago (divided estate between all nieces and nephews, hubby had passed and no children were born of the marriage). Besides her... I know of no one having received one.

 

[arthur06]

There is a good chance that we will receive "many" larger inheritances over the years.

My mom and step-dad have a farm that is owned outright.

My DW grandma has many farms that are owned outright.

With that being said. We still save for retirement and pay our own bills. Anything we get is nice, but certainly not expected.

My MIL has 2 siblings, so a 3 way split of land for the 3 grown children. There is enough for each child to get close to 200 acres. MIL wants to keep the land and rent it to her brother so it stays the family farm, DW's uncle will just farm it, and DW's aunt wants to sell hers. She will sell it to her brother but only for "top dollar", if he won't pay it someone else will. There is so much stuff that has value that they will fight over that its going to get ugly!!! DW's aunt will ruin it for everyone!

 

[bumbershoot]

I'm an only child, and Mrs. Tex and I were thinking that we'd eventually get a pretty nice inheritance from my parents. Of course, the market thud ate a lot of that, and then my mom died.

Now, my dad is an old-fashioned sort. After my mom died, he remarried, and changed his will so that his wife (who was/is my aunt) was the sole beneficiary, because that's what you're supposed to do. He insists that I'll be "taken care of" when she dies, but Mrs. Tex and I are pretty much certain that she'll take care of her own two children first. One is doing fine, but the other is extremely learning disabled and will require lifetime care and supervision -- and has a son of her own who'll be starting college in a year. (Not to mention that she's only 15 years older than us, and comes from a very long-lived family.)

I think the world of my aunt/step-mom, but I don't see any mother NOT taking care of her own kids and grandkids first.

But it could be written in the will, how the money should be split.

My mom and stepdad had wills that they showed us...if one of them died, the money went to the other...and on the death of the other the money was to be split between me, my brother, and our two stepsibs (we also have a doubly related situation, where my stepdad is my step cousin once removed). And when my mom died, it went to my stepdad. He got married, and while I have hints of doubt sometimes, he is at heart an honorable man, and I'm certain that their wills reflect their shared money being split...probably evenly among me, my brother, two steps, and her two kids.

The problem is that in late 2008, just after the two of them fully retired, their retirement accounts got smashed...while they were on a big cruise...

 

[rewok]

I do expect to inherit, because my dad is not spending his own inheritance to preserve it for us! He has more than enough money of his own, but it's still making me , it's your money, spend it! My parents have a week-end cottage at the lake, and I also hope to keep it in the family when they're too old, that is something I would use the inheritance for.

However, I save for my own retirement without considering that factor.