SuiteDisney
<font color=CC66CC>Short Post Man cracks me up!<br
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2001
- Messages
- 4,731
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline"
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small
voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which
number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the
pound key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address,
telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and
your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and
c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after
the beep o before the beep or after the beep. Please wait
for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators
are too busy to talk to you.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small
voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which
number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the
pound key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address,
telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and
your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and
c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after
the beep o before the beep or after the beep. Please wait
for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators
are too busy to talk to you.
