Another UPDATE, bottom pg. 5 - Don't think I can deny there's a problem. (ADD/ADHD)

[mrsbigglesworth]

LD is short for learning disability, or as they like to call it Learning difference. Usually it is referred to as dyslexia, because people understand that term, they have heard it so much. Dyslexia is where people see things in reverse, but it has really become an umbrella term for anyone who learns differently from the accepted norm. It can be a processing problem, some people are visual learners, others are auditory learners, hands on, etc etc. This is why testing is so important. Allied conditions to ADHD are OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), and Learning disabilities can very often accompany ADHD. And sometimes it is inherited, but not always. My DH has it, but was never diagnosed because in Parochial school in the 60s the only label they ever gave out was "lazy". Sorry, that sounds a little bitter but they will freely admit that they have alot of catching up to do in these areas, to be on par with public schools.

Don't ever spend any time worrying about your kid and his or her "label". The kids I know whose parents either stuck their heads in the sand, or didn't want their kids labeled therefore did not get their kids treated, have suffered far more than you and your "labeled" kid, ever will. These kids never got help because there parents were too ashamed to admit their kids weren't perfect (whose kid is, anyway???), and now these kids are dropouts, druggies, social outcasts, and worse. Why, they never got to learn coping skills. They just didnt get the help they needed when it was vital. Sorry if I go on, but I have seen what I have seen, and I am very passionate about this for the sake of the child. Again, God bless you and hang in there. He will turn out great! You get in there and fight for your kid!

 

[WilmaBud]

Tiggerlover,
I taught kids w/ ADHD for years (K-3rd grade). You've gotten some really good advice here. I just wanted to add that in my experience, a lot of dads seem to have a hard time accepting the diagnosis. Denial is the worse thing you can do for your child. The longer the problem persists without intervention, the more socially isolated a child will become because kids with ADHD don't tend to observe social cues and norms very well. So you are doing the right thing by getting your son tested. It's perfectly fine to let the school do the testing. You need an MD (a pediatrician is fine) to prescribe meds, if necessary, but the school should be capable of doing the testing.

Also, I wanted to say that many, many ADHD and ADD children are extemely bright - it's very common for them to be in the gifted range. I know it's upsetting, but if you manage it and work with your son, his school, and his doctor, everything will be fine. I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I wish you and your son the best of luck.
Wilma

 

[piratesmate]

Good luck this morning! I'll be thinking of you.

Re: Hereditary link . . . I never would have thought DH had ADD. Even though my degree is in Ed, I graduated in 1973 & the only thing we heard about was hyperactivity - now usually translated to ADHD. I knew DS was very much like DH. While scaling DS's symptoms, it became obvious that DH had many of the same ones. I do think it was easier for kids in the 60's to develop the coping mechanisms because the classrooms were so structured. [NOTE: "easiER", not "easy!"] I was also told that, back then, girls with undifferentiated ADD were called "air heads" & boys were called "lazy."

The psychologist told us that hereditary cases were a large percentage - but I don't remember how high - but definitely not all. I remember worrying that all of the ultrasounds I had while pregnant may have contributed - I'm diabetic & they did at least 7 telling me they were necessary. (Like worrying was going to help/change anything! ) In the end, it doesn't matter why - the only important thing is getting help.

I only mentioned heredity because knowing it made it easier for me to "deal with" both DS & DH. If DH was irritating me, I knew I could expect to have a tough day with DS - or vice versa. They're both affected by things like full moon & a weather front moving through. (something about ADD affecting the lining of the brain & the moon/weather causing swelling) Neither is on meds.

Deb

 

[MerryPoppins]

At one point in time we suspected our son had ADD/ADHD. We had him tested privately, because we would have had to wait months to get him tested at school. He was identified as having Sensory Integration Disorder. Turns out our daughter has it, too. Both have seen an OT and progressed SO much! Our OT says that many kids are labeled ADD or ADHD when they really have SID. You might want to read a little about it and see if it sounds like your son. My kids needed no medication. They just needed to learn how to cope.

In a nutshell, SI kids have trouble with transitions. They have trouble with sensory information. It's like when too much sensory stimulation is coming in, their switchboard shuts down. The reactions are varied. Usually fight or flight. My kids both "checked out". They daydreamed and didn't even hear what was going on around them. Other kids with SI issues are agressive or hyperactive.

If these problems came about when you moved, I would wonder what might be different at the new school. Is he ever sensitive about his clothing (tags or seams in socks)? Does he ever hold his ears, complain, or act differently in noisy situations? Does he avoid or crave movement? Do you ever have to give him instructions over and over again and feel like he just doesn't hear you? PM me if you want more information about SI issues. I could be totally off base, but I think it's good to check out all options.

 

[jldriscoll]

Debbi, I sent you a pm about a book I recommend (and LIVE by myself) that addresses the very things MerryPoppins has described!!! It's wonderful and VERY reassuring to parents!!! I hope it helps!!!

 

[Mishetta]

I haven't had time to read through this entire post, but I will later. My DS was also diagnosed with ADHD nearly 2 years ago, but I had my suspicions when he was about 4. He was just different than the other kids in his pre-school class.

We had him tested privately (& had to pay tons of $$$) because we didn't want him "labeled" at school. We have him in a private Christian school which would tell us that they don't have the resources to school a child like him & put him in Public school. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with Public school, we prefer the more structured environment of the Christian school. Our son needs as much structure as possible! We chose not to let his school know about his ADHD & since he's medicated once a day, at home, no one is the wiser. It's nothing to be ashamed of ~ it's like if you have a heart condition or something & needs to be treated but we just prefer his school not to know. For us, it's personal & it's no one's business. DS takes his meds each morning & he thinks they're vitamins. As he gets a little older, we will explain things to him but he's just a little boy right now.

He has been on several medications. We've had to play around to find the right one for him. We ended up bringing him to a Neurologist instead of his Pediatrician because with the first few meds, he was developing Tics. Neurologists deal with brain disorders & ADHD is a neurological problem. We had his initial testing done by a Psychiatrist who then recommended treatment with medication. He then referred me to our Pediatrican with his educated results. In turn, after our Peds tried a couple meds & his Tics were getting worst, the Peds referred us to a Neurologist.

Our son is also very bright, and luckily he doesn't suffer from any LD's. Since we put him on medication, his school work has greatly improved & our relationship has improved. The meds are not a miracle drug now....our son is still a "challenge" but at least, less of one! Our guy is 7 y/o.

Good luck & don't be afraid to ask questions!

Many Hugs, (as I know you need them!) Mishetta

 

[Pembo]

Another ADHD Mom checking in. My ds is 6, almost 7 and in first grade. We've known he was MILD ADHD since 3 1/2. It has been a very tough road. It definitely got more noticable as his little brother has gotten older. We are trying meds now. His biggest probs are keeping still and slowing down. As we say, his motor just runs too fast.

DH is also on meds. Just started them a year ago and they have made a world of difference in his life. He no longer is always trying to get organized and he is so much better with the kids.

Tiggerlover-you are far from alone! PM me anytime!

 

[tiggerlover]

Again, I thank all who have taken the time to reply to my post. I am truly touched by all of your support, all of the PM's and your kindness, as overwhelming as all of this is, it is nice to know there are others there to lend support and an ear.

mrsbigglesworth, thank you for that great explanation.

MerryPoppins, a lot of what you described for SI fits my son a lot more than the description of a child with ADD or ADHD. I was reading what you wrote and saying yes, yes, yes! DS is very sensitive about tags and his socks being on the correct way. He doesn't complain much about his ears, but he is very, very sensitive with noisy/loud situations. He always seems like he is in motion and he can talk circles around anyone I know. DH and I are quiet by nature and we always wondered why DS was so talkative a loud. This is yet another avenue I will check into.

Jennifer, I got your PM and thank you for the recommendation, definitely something to look into.

I thank you all for the hugs and the offers to PM. As I said I am overwhelmed at the moment but may take you up on those offers later on.

Now to an update from my appointment today. I met with the school psycologist for almost two hours. She asked a lot of questions and she answered a lot of mine. She told me she started watching DS back in September because his behavior stood out to her, but she said if he is ADHD it is a mild case. She has worked with ADHD children for 35 years and can usually spot an ADHD child right off the bat, but she has been observing DS because his actions weren't classic. She wants to observe him until the Christmas break and then she said we would talk again. She asked me if I wanted to proceed with testing no matter what and I said yes. She said that the process could not begin until after school resumes in January and then it would take 45 days until the psycologists, doctors etc. would make their final determinations. So that is where we stand right now. I will update more when anything changes and again, thank you so much for your support, I really need it.

 

[elgerber]

My 4th grade son is one who has been diagnosed with ADD and as gifted. It's an interesting combination. His biggest issue is focus, he has a really hard time getting work done on time, homework, even though it's a breeze for him, can take hours sometimes. He can get kindof fidgety, but his behavior hasn't been too bad. Recently though, he has started getting angry pretty easily. I was trying to see if he could make it this year, without medication, as he is small already, and the side effects can sometimes slow growth, but I think we are going to have to try it again. The social aspect is also in issue, especially with the gifted part. He does not think at all like other kids his age, and he is rather small, so it seems to be getting harder and harder for him to make friends.

Hang in there, I'm sure you'll do what's best for him.

Erika

 

[grinningghost]

Lots of hugs and pixie dust. Hopefully, you will be able to get some help for your DS soon. I'm sure he's a wonderful boy.

 

[mrsbigglesworth]

You are most welcome. I will keep you and your child in my prayers, and please keep us posted.

 

[Nutsy]

Years ago when my eldest now 14 was around 15 months a doctor once told me to get him tested for ADD...........I never did & my DS is not ADD or ADHD........despite at times having shown some symptoms. Then my youngest DS came along & he was way different. Always on the go, always into something, way too much energy. But once again, he showed some signs of ADD or ADHD, but in no way was he either of these. He was & still is a very active kid & a boy to boot.

Youngest DS has always been a handful as he always was looking for something new to do & lost interest in other things. But, like I said he is not ADD or ADHD.....I know some kids who are & my two are nothing like these other kids. These others have such bad behaviourial problems it just isn't funny.

I hope your little guy is just an overactive normal little boy experiencing life in the best way possible. HAVING FUN!!!

Sometimes us parents fret when our kids do things that to us seem abnormal, but in all reality they are just being normal inquisitive kids learning about life.

Good luck Debbi

 

[mamajoan]

Geez Nutsy.. I am glad you don't feel your children have ADHD/ADD
But in regards to your comment that the kids that you know that have ADHD/ADD have BAD BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS.

Bad behavior is NOT A CLINICAL SYMPTOM OF ADD/ADHD.

as I have previously posted...My dd has severe ADHD but is not a BEHAVIOR PROBLEM due to her diagnosis. Many kids are this way.. yes some kids with ADHD are aggressive and overtly impulsive-but as with anything each kid shows different patterns.
The Severity of signs and symptoms can vary greatly.

BTW... I was just wondering why you chose not to have your child tested as suggested by MD? If they have shown 'signs' but you have not had them tested how can you be so sure..
I am not trying to be adversarial.. I just wondered how you knew.

 

[momof2OH]

My DS 11 1/2 has been DX ADHD and on meds. since the age of 4. He wasn't even able to sit and finish the testing. That was almost 8 years ago and since then has been DX with a few other things, with the main one being BiPolar. He also has OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and is LD (dyslexia and dysgraphia) but at the same time Extremely smart in many areas and creative.
My DD 13 1/2 is also BiPolar and ADD but they are like night and day. My son had HUGE behavioral problems(steming from the BiPolar) before he started meds for the BP. Where my daughter is just now starting to have those types of problems.

There are many things that DR. look at when determining a DX of ADHD/ADD as well as any other disorder. Many of these are "classic" signs, but there are however some children that just don't seem to fit into that "classic" cookie cutter mold. The doctors have told me this with my DS, especially with his BP. They have also told me that a pretty true way to know if a DX of BiPolar is correct is if the medication Lithium works. and let me tell you that Lithium has been a miracle for him and me.

Sorry so long- Basicly read up on ADHD/ADD and trust your instincts.

Good Luck and I hope eveything works out for you and your family. Also like others have said...It's not the end of the world and things do get better.

 

[momof2OH]

Through The Eyes of a Child With ADHD

Please tell me you love me, for I need to be accepted in your eyes.

Please let me know when I have done well, for I need to know that sometimes I am like other children.

Please share some of your thoughts with me, for my intelligence is not impaired.

Please learn all you can about my problem, I need understanding as well as discipline.

Please bother to correct me and keep me in line as much as necessary. I cannot steer myself.

Give me patience, because although it takes me longer, I need to succeed just like all the other children.

Please make time in your day for me. I need to feel that attention and affection are things you want to give me. I will not go away if you pretend I am not there.

Remember that I am a complex person with many traits that are right and fine. Please help me to see those things in myself. You are my mirror.

Please do not abuse me; for, although I need a firmer hand than most, I feel lost and alone when I see rejection in your eyes. I have no motive, and all I can do is say, "I am sorry" over and over again.

Please remember that I love you, for you stand beside me day after day in this confusing and frighting world. You are the reason I am not alone.

- Author Unknown

 

[Mishetta]

Oh my God, momof2OH, I cried when I read the poem you shared with us. I think I'll hug my son extra tight tonight when I see him. I think I'll print it out & try to read it when I'm about to kill him over doing something impulsive!

I just sent a copy over e-mail to my husband at work. We both lose patience with him much too soon. It's hard to live it every single day without a break...but we need to be more understanding.

I am surprised at how many people have ADD/ADHD children. I thought I was going through this by myself in the world! I guess Misery really does love Company!! And what better company than Disney people??!!!

 

[elgerber]

Oh dear, I should not have read that poem while at the office. Now I'm sitting at my desk sobbing like an idiot. I printed it out, and I am taking it home with me.

Thank you.

Erika

 

[tiggerlover]

Originally posted by momof2OH
Through The Eyes of a Child With ADHD

/B]

Gina, thank you for that poem, it brought tears to my eyes too.

 

[momof2OH]

It really does make you stop and think. and yes it can be very hard living with it day in and day out, 24/7/365...especially being a single mom with no breaks away...BUT we keep on doing it because they are are kids and it's what parents do. We take care of our children, good or bad. Remember...they didn't ask to be this way either.

 

[ripleysmom]

As the parent of children with ADHD it is very reassuring to see so many parents taking their child's disorder seriously.

tiggerlover, the advice about Diet was very good. I was actually just PM'ing with another DISer about this. I did try the diet and while it did help some it wasn't enough to continue to follow it.

Many times I have participated in Special Education Committees where the parents of children who resisted the fact that their child had a problem. Too many times it was when a child was failing school, going to jail for drugs (untreated kids DO self medicate) or are the hospital after a suicide attempt because they are so unhappy.

You know what really amazes me is that many parents make choices for their children based on what they want, not what their child needs. That is a very sad thing.

Golf Claps for you all!!