Jennasis
DIS life goes on
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2000
- Messages
- 35,676
And it hasn't even happened yet! I've been in NC for a shade over 6 years, and for each of those years, EVERY holiday has been rough. My entire, large, boisterous, fun (and dysfunctional) family is living back in NY. I miss the big crazy family holidays with them as it is now just me, DH, DMIL and occasionally my loser of a BIL. I literally grit my teeth and bear it during the holidays that now consist of the four of us sitting in front of the tv, staring at each other (maybe watching Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe marathon or whatever the Discovery channel has on...not my choice).
It's awful...and depressing.
We have had my grandfather-in-law joining the "festivities" for the past two years as my MIL is now is 24 hour caretaker (he had a stroke two years ago and is paralyzed, wheelchair bound, and unable to communicate more than a word or two). MIL has become an undiagnosed clinical depressant slowly over the last two years.
The holidays since he joined us have been very rough, mostly for MIL. For me, it's just another person sitting in the living room not engaging in conversation.
For the last two years, we have been going out for dinner on Thanksgiving. We discovered that Cracker Barrel is open and while I normally am not a huge fan, they do a lovely, HUGE T-Day dinner with all the trimmings (for like $8 per person with drink and dessert!). It was a God send to start this new tradition. It forced everyone to get out of the dark depressing house and to go out and socialize...with the waiter...with other patrons...with each other.
It was delightful!
Well, DH calls me from work today and says MIL has decided to do T-Day at home this year. She claims she's worried about H1N1 exposure for grandfather-in-law
rolleyes
, but it's a load of pucky. She really just can't be bothered to go about getting him showered and dressed and out of the house (he never leaves the house...EVER. Except for doctor's appts.). HER depression is making her too apathetic to go out. She's going to QUOTE "just make a turkey breast and some mashed potatoes." And when she does cook, the food is usually done when DH and I arrive...or rather, it's been done...for a while...and is cold/congealed.
Let me add that, I love my MIL. She is a terrific giving lady, who has given up on herself and is just waiting (and probably secretly hoping) for her father to die. She's said as much to DH. She feels terrible about it, but when you are at the mercy of an invalid 24/7, I guess you eventually crack.
Let me also add...MIL is a terrible terrible cook.
I have yet to have a meal at her home that I didn't have to choke down with a smile plastered to my face. in TEN years. She has no clue about seasoning. Doesn't use salt. And with her latest bout of extreme apathy/depression, I am thinking that this go-round will be pretty awful.
DH and I work all day on Thanksgiving, so we can't cook or bring dishes. We can't (read, she won't let) us host Thanksgiving here, because that would mean she'd have to drag grandfather-in-law out of the house. And our house is not wheelchair accessible.
Really, it boils down to me being bummed we aren't going to Cracker Barrel. Once again, I will make the best of a poor situation, particularly since I know how down MIL is. When we have these kinds of holidays, I am always the one helping with the food, doing dishes, initiating conversation, trying to keep the "excitement" going. Then the next day I will get to chat with my mom/dad/sisters and here about how awesome their big T-Day family party was.
The only party I'm seeing in my future is a pity-party. And I'll snap out of it soon...for MIL's sake. She has got it terribly bad.
It's awful...and depressing.
We have had my grandfather-in-law joining the "festivities" for the past two years as my MIL is now is 24 hour caretaker (he had a stroke two years ago and is paralyzed, wheelchair bound, and unable to communicate more than a word or two). MIL has become an undiagnosed clinical depressant slowly over the last two years.
The holidays since he joined us have been very rough, mostly for MIL. For me, it's just another person sitting in the living room not engaging in conversation.
For the last two years, we have been going out for dinner on Thanksgiving. We discovered that Cracker Barrel is open and while I normally am not a huge fan, they do a lovely, HUGE T-Day dinner with all the trimmings (for like $8 per person with drink and dessert!). It was a God send to start this new tradition. It forced everyone to get out of the dark depressing house and to go out and socialize...with the waiter...with other patrons...with each other.
It was delightful!
Well, DH calls me from work today and says MIL has decided to do T-Day at home this year. She claims she's worried about H1N1 exposure for grandfather-in-law
rolleyes, but it's a load of pucky. She really just can't be bothered to go about getting him showered and dressed and out of the house (he never leaves the house...EVER. Except for doctor's appts.). HER depression is making her too apathetic to go out. She's going to QUOTE "just make a turkey breast and some mashed potatoes." And when she does cook, the food is usually done when DH and I arrive...or rather, it's been done...for a while...and is cold/congealed.Let me add that, I love my MIL. She is a terrific giving lady, who has given up on herself and is just waiting (and probably secretly hoping) for her father to die. She's said as much to DH. She feels terrible about it, but when you are at the mercy of an invalid 24/7, I guess you eventually crack.
Let me also add...MIL is a terrible terrible cook.
I have yet to have a meal at her home that I didn't have to choke down with a smile plastered to my face. in TEN years. She has no clue about seasoning. Doesn't use salt. And with her latest bout of extreme apathy/depression, I am thinking that this go-round will be pretty awful.DH and I work all day on Thanksgiving, so we can't cook or bring dishes. We can't (read, she won't let) us host Thanksgiving here, because that would mean she'd have to drag grandfather-in-law out of the house. And our house is not wheelchair accessible.
Really, it boils down to me being bummed we aren't going to Cracker Barrel. Once again, I will make the best of a poor situation, particularly since I know how down MIL is. When we have these kinds of holidays, I am always the one helping with the food, doing dishes, initiating conversation, trying to keep the "excitement" going. Then the next day I will get to chat with my mom/dad/sisters and here about how awesome their big T-Day family party was.
The only party I'm seeing in my future is a pity-party. And I'll snap out of it soon...for MIL's sake. She has got it terribly bad.
He realizes how difficult the day will be.
I have to tell you about the year I hosted Thankgiving for my whole extended family. I made the Turkey, dressing and cranberry sauce, as well as some pies. Everybody else brought sides. My sister was teh only one who didn't get back to me about hers. I found out why when she showed up--she brought hot dogs and chips. 
now granted it was better choices but still!
I have 2 places to go instead. Yippee!
