Another teacher gift questions- WWYD?

[amy-momofthree]

I think I screwed up.

The room mom of my daughters first grade class sent home envelopes in each child's folders about two weeks ago with a note asking that everyone contribute a set amount of money to go towards one large gift card for the teacher. She said that she was going to attach the gift card to a card signed by all the students and have them present it to her on the last day before break at the class party.

Fast forward to today- The day of the party. Room mom was not present at the party. Their was no class presentation of such gift card. NOTHING. Instead there were about ten wrapped presents on the teachers desk from other students. Now, It looks like my daughter didn't acknowledge Christmas to the teacher. I feel HORRIBLE!! I asked the parents who were at the party (8 of them) if they contributed to the teacher fund and they said no they just got their own present.

I know this is totally my fault and I should have gone with my gut in getting my own gift but I thought it was a great idea. One big gift card? Who wouldn't love that!?

How do I make this right?

Now, I am not accussing the room mom of doing something with my money. For all I know she did get the gift card from my money and hers, I feel bad because the teacher has presents from all the kids except my daughter and maybe two or three others?

What would you do?

 

[cvjw]

I would get in touch with the room mom to make sure that your teacher did in fact get the gift card that you contributed to. I learned early on not to contribute to class gifts. After being the room mom, and seeing that only a few kids actually contributed to the "class gift", but all got to sign the card, I just didn't think that was right. I want the teacher to know that the gift is actually from my child.

 

[amy-momofthree]

I would get in touch with the room mom to make sure that your teacher did in fact get the gift card that you contributed to. I learned early on not to contribute to class gifts. After being the room mom, and seeing that only a few kids actually contributed to the "class gift", but all got to sign the card, I just didn't think that was right. I want the teacher to know that the gift is actually from my child.

Yes, I learned my lesson. I just thought everyone was going to do it and thought it was a great idea ( I suppose it would have been if it worked the way it should have).

I may have to email the room mom. How do I ask her about class gift without sounding accusatory? I just want to make sure teacher did somehow get the money I contributed.

SHould I still do something for the teacher? Or maybe wait and do something EXTRA special for Valentine's Day ( the next holiday).

 

[Kay1]

I feel awful for you. You really need to ask the room mother what happened. There's nothing else I can think of. Sorry.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Well, I had an 9:00 a.m. revelation that today is my DD's last day before vacation and I didn't get the teacher's gift certificate (I get it from the local teacher supply store) this year. I work an hour and a half away from home, and there's no way that I can get it to her before the end of the day.

I'll get it tonight and mail it to the school in the morning -- maybe she's working early in the week. The teacher gift certificate is always one of the FIRST things I do. We've had kids in elementary school for 12 years, and this is the first time I've screwed up.

 

[Hannathy]

call her up and ask her. But maybe one of the wrapped gifts was the gift card? There has to be more than 10 kids in the class and there has to be some parents who aren't hanging around the classroom that you asked. So maybe the only ones you asked are the hoverers who wouldn't do anything as a group anyway and the other 10 kids and yours gave to the gift card. But instead of being on here fretting just call the person or email them now. You could simply say how much did you end up with and when are you giving it to her ?

And why feel horrible? giving a gift is not a requirement, I usually don't unless the teacher has gone out of their way for my child.

And for the record I hate group gifts that all sign whether they contribute or not also and rarely, rarely contribute.

 

[cvjw]

Yes, I learned my lesson. I just thought everyone was going to do it and thought it was a great idea ( I suppose it would have been if it worked the way it should have).

I may have to email the room mom. How do I ask her about class gift without sounding accusatory? I just want to make sure teacher did somehow get the money I contributed.

SHould I still do something for the teacher? Or maybe wait and do something EXTRA special for Valentine's Day ( the next holiday).

I would just tell her that you were at the party, and didn't see the teacher getting the gift card that you contributed to, and wanted to make sure that the teacher got it. I would just do something extra for the end of the year gift, and let the teacher know it was from your child.

 

[Dizneydaz]

I would just tell her that you were at the party, and didn't see the teacher getting the gift card that you contributed to, and wanted to make sure that the teacher got it. I would just do something extra for the end of the year gift, and let the teacher know it was from your child.

That's what I would do as well. My DD is in 6th grade this year and we didn't get anything about a group gift this year. But then I usually jsut get the teacher something on our own, though I don't feel obligated too. I usually try to get them something nice for the end of the year gift. For 3rd grade I got her teacher a 12 month photo calendar with all the school breaks and holidays on it. She loved it! Last year I got her 5th grade teacher a flip book of the class field trip. She wasn't able to go due to a back injury but loved seeing the kids on the trip and will show it to this years class to let them see what they get to do on their field trip. They go to a local farm and learn about the Revolutionary War, inc. reinacting a battle. Pretty fun. Her teacher said it was the best gift she ever got.

This year DD11 took some of our homemade Christmas candy and cookies today to give her teacher. I hope she'll like them.

Personally, I think something like a photo calendar is a great idea for teachers as well as coaches. You can customize them with pictures of the kids (ask parents if they can email photos they may have taken through the year or season) and customize important dates. You can usually get them for under $20 which isn't bad and if you got another class parent to chip in, more they better. This year I plan on suggesting it for DD's spring softball coaches. All the parents can pitch in and give it to the 2-3 coaches. With 12 girls on the team, it would only run about $5-7 each for the calendar and each month could have pictures of a different girl.

 

[v.t.]

I would call the room mom, as others have suggested, and say, "I didn't see the gift card, how much was it for", or something to that effect.

If you really feel the need to do something from your child, send chocolate the first week back to school with a note saying, "Hoping your new year is off to a sweet start!" Teachers love chocolate on Friday after the first week back.

 

[mjkacmom]

At our school, class moms are required to ask for $5 per student, and I'd say 90% contribute, and at least half give their own gifts as well. As a class mom, I usually contribute extra to make up for the difference. I can't imagine the class mom pocketed the money - I'm sure she got a smaller gift card than expected, and didn't want to do a big card with only some names on it. You can ask.

 

[dismom301930]

Class mom here.

I asked for a voluntary contribution toward a class gift, and I received money from 20 of 23 students. The amounts ranged from $2 to $20. We will present the teacher with a gift card and gift basket at the party next week, and it will be from the whole class. I think some of the kids who participated in the class gift will still give a little something else, but many won't.

I would guess that the OP's class mom was trying to do something similar and when only a few people participated, she probably wrapped up the gift card and signed it from the few people who contributed rather than presenting it from the enitre class. If I were the OP I would simply call the class mom to ask her about it.

 

[SDSorority]

I would just tell her that you were at the party, and didn't see the teacher getting the gift card that you contributed to, and wanted to make sure that the teacher got it. I would just do something extra for the end of the year gift, and let the teacher know it was from your child.

agree

 

[NewCrew42]

I would call the room mom, as others have suggested, and say, "I didn't see the gift card, how much was it for", or something to that effect.

Maybe it was sent at a different time than the party. I know one year, I couldn't present the teacher gift at the party because I was homeroom mom for both my kids classes, so could only be at one of the parties. Just ask her about it.

At our school, this worked really well and it was awesome.

 

[mom to minnie&mickey]

Ask your dd whether or not she signed a card for her teacher. If she did then chances are the gc was bought. If she did not I would get in touch with this other mom ASAP and ask her about it. Maybe she just wrote your dd's name on the card herself, which is not right. The gc, if any, should have been given to the teacher on the day of the party by the contributing students and not by the mother herself, if that is what she did.
Group gifts sound and are good in theory, but in reality it does not work because there are always parents in the class who prefer to buy their own or just get a freebie off the backs of other parents who are contributing.

 

[ceecee]

Ask your dd whether or not she signed a card for her teacher. If she did then chances are the gc was bought. If she did not I would get in touch with this other mom ASAP and ask her about it. Maybe she just wrote your dd's name on the card herself, which is not right. The gc, if any, should have been given to the teacher on the day of the party by the contributing students and not by the mother herself, if that is what she did.
Group gifts sound and are good in theory, but in reality it does not work because there are always parents in the class who prefer to buy their own or just get a freebie off the backs of other parents who are contributing.

 

[maddiesmom0116]

Room mom here too! Where was your room mom at if it was the party day? That is odd in itself, I was there from the start of school to 2 hours after today.
I would never want to be held responsible for a group gift, many people don't give and I would hate to make up the difference. I had to buy 8 extra gift exchange gifts today at lunch because parents didn't send them, so I would have no hope of getting donations for a group gift.

I would ask the teacher how much did the GC from the group end up being, the room mom hadn't sent an update yet about it. This way you know you get the correct answer and the teacher knows you contributed.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I would too contact the room mom and solve the mystery. If you really want to give the teacher a gift, you could get a gift card and mail it to her home if you have the address or do a card, stamp it and take it by the office (if it's open) on monday and ask them to address and stick it in the mail. You could also send flowers or a gift basket of some kind to her home over Christmas.

I am sure however the teacher does not think bad of your child in any way. You could also sent a little something when they go back in January.

 

[amy-momofthree]

Thanks for all the replies

I don't know why room
Mom wasn't there today. I asked dd is she signed a card and she said no.

I like the idea of sending her something special (treats ) in January and we will do that.

I will get her an extra special gift at the end of the year.

I know she wouldn't think badly of my daughter if there were no gift but I really appreciate all the teacher does for my child and it looks like we didn't even acknowledge her

Thanks again for the replies