Another School Thread - What Would You Do?

[mickeyboat]

A friend of mine has a daughter in K. At the beginning of the year there were 4 girls and 10 boys in the class. Two girls have since left the school leaving 10 boys and 2 girls. My friend is very concerned about the boy/girl ratio and is is considering asking the school to have her daughter switched to another class. At first I thought she was being silly, but the more she talked, the more I began to wonder if her concerns really did have some validity.

She is worried that her child will be at a disadvantage next year, having made no connection with her female peers. She says that in pre-school last year her daughter came home every day talking about all her little friends, and how much fun they had playing together. This year she doesn't talk about school at all, and shows very little interest.

She is worried her daughter is not learning all she should because of the disruption these boys are causing in the classroom.

She would like to have her daughter moved to the morning class taught by the same teacher. She knows at least one person in that class (my daughter), and thinks she would adjust o.k. since she would have the same teacher.

Assuming the class could accomodate her (which I am not sure it can), do you think this is a legitimate reason to have your child moved to another class?

Denae

 

[wilderness01]

My son has 7 boys and 19 girls in his class. The other K class has more boys in it. It will all work out next year. I wouldn't move her, but instead make sure she connects to a female before/after school/weekends, etc. Truthfully for me I would be concerned that it is too far into the school year to do this. I would worry about the adjustment period and disruption of her schedule to do this.

 

[mickeyboat]

My son has 7 boys and 19 girls in his class. The other K class has more boys in it. It will all work out next year. I wouldn't move her, but instead make sure she connects to a female before/after school/weekends, etc. Truthfully for me I would be concerned that it is too far into the school year to do this. I would worry about the adjustment period and disruption of her schedule to do this.

I was actually thinking the same thing. She argued that it is really only half way through the school year, so there is still half a year left. It's tough for her to get her daughter into other activities because she has a three year old brother and twin 1 year old brothers.

Maybe I need to make more of an effort to have the girl over to play with my kids.

Denae

 

[jennyl772003]

Really, as a kindergartner, boys and girls all play together still. At least that was my experience with my son. He had friends who were boys, and friends who were girls. Actually, still in 2nd grade he has as many friends who are girls as boys.

"I" would just stick it out, if I were in her place. Do they combine classes for recess at all? Maybe 1st and K go out together?

 

[ChibiJones]

When my mom taught kindergarten, the morning session always had more students because of day care arrangements. The school always tried to get people to switch to afternoon if possible. The child is probably getting more one-on-one with the teacher in the afternoon.

 

[mom2boys]

My son's Kindergarten class has 16 boys and 4 girls. There were three sessions - a.m.; p.m. & all-day. The groups were mingled in 1st grade. That year the kids were 2/3 boys. The 4 girls were mixed in with others in 1st grade. It really wasn't a problem.

I wouldn't move a child's class because of the gender ratio.

 

[dizagain]

Hi! Funny you should post this...I taught K in a small private church program. I had a class two years ago with 5 boys and 1 girl!!! Yep, her parents had concerns at first (a second girl who had been enrolled dropped out just before the year started). This child bloomed...she was the princess when she wanted to be and the tough girl when she didn't. Granted, I didn't have any really wild boys, but they were rough enough and she held her own. They played dolls one day, legos the next, and pirates the next...she had an awesome year. On the playground she had some girl buddies but she was closest to "her" boys. She did great in a first grade classroom with 20 kids the next year. I think if the little girl is not struggling she should stay put and she'll be fine. If SHE'S having problems (not just mom and dad) then I might consider moving her.

 

[Shugardrawers]

I guess I don't understand what's wrong with having little boys for friends? I agree that at this late date it would probably be too disruptive to move her. The year is 1/2 over. She's probably already getting some special attention being in such a minority already.

 

[Sandy V.]

I would also opt for the little girl to stay in the class for the rest of the year, for many of the same reasons that others have mentioned.

However, if the mother DID decide to move her daughter, I think the right thing to do would be to inform the parents of the REMAINING little girl in the class about what they are planning before it actually happens. If they don't, it could be tough on her.

 

[mickeyboat]

Really, as a kindergartner, boys and girls all play together still. At least that was my experience with my son. He had friends who were boys, and friends who were girls. Actually, still in 2nd grade he has as many friends who are girls as boys.

"I" would just stick it out, if I were in her place. Do they combine classes for recess at all? Maybe 1st and K go out together?

This is true. I think both of my girls play more with the boys than they do the girls.

No, there is only one afternoon K class, so no combining in recess. The morning classes have recess together, so my girls get to see one another at least once during the school day. Emily actually would ask to go see her sister when she was in pre-school, and the teachers always let her go over and say hello. This year she must be feeling more confident on her own.

I think one of my friend's big problems is that she chose afternoon K for a specific reason (not such a hectic and early morning with four kids), and most of the kids were just "left-overs" who either sent in their forms too late or came later in the year. I wonder if this issue is more her concern than the boy/girl ratio.

Denae

 

[tar heel]

As a mom of three wonderful boys, I find it sad that she thinks her daughter isn't learning as much as she could b/c the boys are "disruptive."

 

[mickeyboat]

As a mom of three wonderful boys, I find it sad that she thinks her daughter isn't learning as much as she could b/c the boys are "disruptive."

Good point, and I thought of it too. But she is the mother of three boys also, and she was able to outline some of the disruptive behavior, so I don't think she is simply stereotyping the boys.

Denae

 

[cats mom]

I think one of my friend's big problems is that she chose afternoon K for a specific reason (not such a hectic and early morning with four kids), and most of the kids were just "left-overs" who either sent in their forms too late or came later in the year. I wonder if this issue is more her concern than the boy/girl ratio.

Denae

I wouldn't be surprised if that played into it too.

When my oldest DD was in K her friend tried the pm class for much the same reasons you stated and had a horrible time - switched to am within a month. The teachers said that group of pm kids was just a partcularly difficult group.

Last year DD had 16 girls and 4 boys in her K class. Two of the boys were twins who pretty much socialized only with each other and the other two boys never seemed to click. I do think it was a kind of tough year for them.

I agree that it does seem late in the year to be making a change. If she does go ahead (and can get it approved) like someone else mentioned, I would think a heads up for the parent of the lone remaining girl would certainly be in order even if the two girls have not formed a strong bond.

 

[mickeyboat]

I agree that it does seem late in the year to be making a change. If she does go ahead (and can get it approved) like someone else mentioned, I would think a heads up for the parent of the lone remaining girl would certainly be in order even if the two girls have not formed a strong bond.

My friend has a sister who is a teacher who basically told her she was going up against a brick wall, and she doubted the school would move her daughter. And I think leaving the remaining girl as the only girl in the class would probably cement the school's decision to refuse.

I am happy to hear, though, that others have had experieces with disporportionate numbers of each gender, have had kids who had good educational experiences.

Denae

 

[Marseeya]

She'll be fine!

My DD was in a class like that in first grade and I was really concerned about it, especially considering the only girl in the class was a bit of a bully. DD ended up making friends with a boy, but it didn't harm her chances of having female friends later.

Is this a small school? My DD's school is rather big, so they're never in the same class from year to year anyway. THAT'S my biggest complaint. I feel so sorry for her that she doesn't get to be in the same class with close friends year after year. I'm still friends with the girls I met in kindergarten, and I wish my DD could do the same.

 

[barkley]

my son's classes have been mostly boys for the past 4 years. i'm not sure if there is a surge in male births or it's just the luck of the draw he's been in classes where there has been only one girl and this year there are only 3.

i have'nt seen any of the little girls seeming to suffer over this-they tend to make friends so quickly at this age. if it were my daughter i don't think i would worry much about it (and when i think back it seemed to be just the opposite when dd was in kindergarten, she was one of a few girls with many more boys).

i think i would keep her in the afternoon session and let her complete the school year-it may seem like it will be an easy transition to the a.m. class, but it could make a whole lot more impact on her than interacting mostly with boys. if she's used to going to afternoon k it could be quite an adjustment to getting up early and focusing first thing in the morning.

also-while boys can change the dynamics of a classroom, i would argue that a class with mostly girls can offer some interesting "disruptions" as well (i recall teaching a few k classes with mostly girls-it could be challenging to get around the socializing and "dramatics" they can tend towards ).

 

[mickeyboat]

Here's an update:

The parents met with the teacher and principal last week. The principal said she has never run across this situation before and really has no idea how to respond. She was very concerned about the boys left in the class if the girls were removed. If a move was made, both girls would be moved.

The principal contacted the superintendant and this is the plan: The principal will contact the parents of all of the children in the class and ask them if they would mind if the two girls were removed. If any of the parents disagrees, the girls will stay in the class.

Now, I am not sure I agree with the need to move the girls, but I think the principal is handling the situation very poorly. I am not impressed. She is passing the buck to the parents of the other students, who I am not sure really deserve a say.

Denae

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Seems silly to leave it up to the parents of the boys! And what do the parents of the other girls think? Seems that if the school is concerned about the boy/girl ratio they should have done a better job of balancing the girls and boys at the beginning of the year. That is unless there are a lot more boys in that particular year, which does happen.

Personally, I would not be concerned about this in kindergarten. If the main reason for the parents concern is next year, they can do more to network with other girls in that grade.

 

[cats mom]

I wonder how the parents of the other girl feel? I'm assuming they have been, or at least will be, consulted before the polling of all the boys' parents is started.

I think it's a pretty stange response from the principal too.
Maybe she thought by suggesting her concern about the other kids in the class and then proposing that all the parents be polled she would guilt the parents who want their daughter moved into leaving things as they are.

I don't think it would bother me if I was a parent of one of the boys... but I can see some folks being offended, and at the very least I'm sure it will cause plenty of this among the parents of the boys.

Please keep us posted. I'm curious how this one will play out.