Another RSVP rant

[Took]

Three weeks ago, I sent out invitations for a Christmas party at our home. I invited colleagues and friends. Most offered an enthusiastic "I'll be there." Many had talked to me about the party only last week and reiterated their intention to come. Normally, when I've invited these folks to something, they have come (and always seemed to have a good time). So, this week, I bought food, cleaned, and decorated, expecting nearly 45 people, perhaps more.

Less than 20 showed up. Only two called with last minute "regrets" and both of these were health related issues. The others just didn't show! I heard from one attendee that a non-attendee had gone out of town (no message for me, however) and that's it.

I'm feeling a bit frustrated and angry at the no-shows this a.m. I had lots of food left over and had worked hard to make the evening fun.

Why is it that RSVP nowadays is "if I have nothing better to do"?

okay, vent over. Time to reflect on those who came....

Took

 

[bicker]

I remember stuff like this going on 20 years ago, and I bet it happened frequently 40 years ago, and probably even 60 years ago. Inconsideration has been a problem since time immemorial, I suspect.

 

[Feralpeg]

IMHO, people are just less concerned with the feelings of others now days. Maybe it was just my experience, but people used to take RSVP more seriously than they do today. I think it is just more of the attitude people have today. It is all about them. Sad.

 

[BelleWDW]

Honestly-this is the BIG weekend for Christmas parties.

A couple folks at the party we attended last night said they were only staying a while then going to another. But then the band started and the food was served and they never left!

Maybe that happened with some of your "No-Shows"?

 

[clarabelle]

I completely understand your frustration.
Don't get me started on my wedding.

I have also started sending out email reminders the day before the event.
I think that helps

People seem to be so busy they forget.

 

[sacall]

For nine years, we too held a Christmas party every year. We usually invited around 70-75 people. Supplied all the food and drink, really went all out Well, the last couple of years, we too have noticed that people who RSVP'd yes, were no shows. It was really bad last year and we too had tons of food leftover. Yes, I get there are other parties, and I don't mind if you tell me, "we can only stay a bit because have two other parties". That is fine with me, I'm just glad you came! I also understand if you are sick and can't make it, which has happened and they were nice enough to call me that day and let me know.

Well, after last year, I told dh "I'm done for awhile". We didn't have a party this year and I am so happy and relived not to have one We took my Mom out for her birthday one weekend. My daughter had a birthday party last weekend. This weekend, dh and I are going out shopping and dinner! Much less stressful this year for me

Funny thing, I've had about 10 different people ask me "what happened to your wonderful Holiday party. Why didn't you have one this year??" Several of those people were the no-shows! Funny - I didn't see any one of our other friends having a party! So, I think I'm taking a break for a year or two and then I'll do the party again. Guess what, our invite list will be a lot smaller next time!

Stacy

 

[eliza61]

Maybe because RSVP is French (repondez s 'il vous plait) maybe if we just started writing in "Please exercise some manners and pick up the phone, people would get the idea.

Arrrgh, op I feel your pain. this is one of my pet peeves.

 

[johnsontrio]

Maybe because RSVP is French (repondez s 'il vous plait) maybe if we just started writing in "Please exercise some manners and pick up the phone, people would get the idea.

Arrrgh, op I feel your pain. this is one of my pet peeves.

I don't think the younger generation is going to be any better.

DD is having a Sweet Sixteen birthday party on a party bus tomorrow. We sent 25 invitations and they clearly stated call Mrs. J to save your seat on the bus. Two of the 25 girls actually picked up the phone to call. Several of them let my DD know if they were coming. Around 15 of them had to be contacted the last day.

I'd say that it doesn't matter if it's in English or French, most people don't comply with requests for RSVPs. As we have seen on discussions on this board, many people don't feel any obligation towards societal expectations. Sure would be easier if we all played by the same rule book and would lead to a lot less confusion. I keep threatening to buy people etiquette books.