Another personal question vent

[Serena]

My daughter is best friends with a girl with a single dad. Every time I have to talk with him, he asks me when I'm going to start dating. And why haven't I yet.
and today, he said, "I don't mean to be forward or anything, I just speak my mind, but don't you need some "you know, lovin" every once in a while?"

I was speechless for a minute. I don't know this man well and I know he doesn't mean to make me uncomfortable. I know he likes me, but I just get the impression he figures he'll "scratch" my back and I'll scratch his. ???????

I'm sorry, but I don't know him very well, and most of what I know I don't like. How do you nicely tell someone that hell would freeze over first? And you'll date when you find someone that you actually want to date. ???

I don't want to be mean, and I don't want things to get even more uncomfortable. I just tell him I'm not ready for that yet and then try to get off the phone because he asks me when I'll be ready.

If it wasn't important for my daughter, I would have ran out of nice a long time ago.
Thanks for listening to the vent. It was either here or outloud and the girl is here.

 

[sweet angel]

Tell him you'll be ready to date when you find the right woman.

 

[Nancy]

Just look him plain in the face and say "when I actually meet someone worth dating I will." That should knock him down a peg

 

[Serena]

Originally posted by sweet angel
Tell him you'll be ready to date when you find the right woman.

OMG!!!!!

 

[chager]

This is a difficult situation. My son's best friend's dad is a single dad and I know he has been in similar sitautions. He just told the person it was none of her business when he would be ready and he was focusing on his kids right now! The other person was a friend of both of ours so I heard both sides. She really wanted to marry him but was getting impatient waiting. (I think they went out once, but I never could figure if it was an actual date or just one in her mind. Their boys were friends too)
I wish I had more words of wisdom. In my friends case our other friend ended up getting transferred out of state ending the constant questions and calls. If I remember I'll ask him for some advice about these situations when I see him next. (Most likely soon since our sons think they are twins seperated at birth...lol)

 

[deirdrefitch]

Originally posted by sweet angel
Tell him you'll be ready to date when you find the right woman.

I agree! Just tell him you have not decided if you are ready to come out of the closet yet. Tell him he will be the first to know of your decision. But, "Don't call me, I will call You!
That should politely shut him up for a while.

 

[Serena]

He just called back to apologize. And instead of saying, it wasn't neccessary I accepted it. I told him it does make me uncomfortable. And he apologized again.

I think maybe it will be easier from now on. Or I hope so.

 

[gina2000]

I can't believe he said that, Laurie. I'd have fainted dead in my tracks.

 

[Serena]

I know. Just asking me when I was going out with him every time I saw him was bad enough, but that?!

 

[acepepper]

Sleep with the guy. You know you want to.

 

[floridaminnie]

I don't think I could have stopped laughing Laurie.

 

[Serena]

Originally posted by acepepper
Sleep with the guy. You know you want to.

ewwww

 

[legs22]

Originally posted by sweet angel
Tell him you'll be ready to date when you find the right woman.

Don't do that. He'll probably ask if he could watch

 

[snoopy]

Wow.



I'm pretty much speechless.



Makes my tall glass of water business associate pale in comparison.



I don't know what one would say to that.......I think even if I were attracted to that person to begin with, that would have turned me right off. My goodness. He is bold.

 

[Serena]

Oh my heavens no!

 

[Pongo69]

Serena,you should of told him since he's so needy why not take his needs to Priscilla's and go at it

 

[Serena]

LOL!!!

 

[Hillbeans]

I know saying this may be stereotyping, but I think many men who have been single for a period of time with no woman in sight have a very hard time with dealing with when the next "time" will be. Most of the single women I know seem to want the emotional aspect more than the physical act.

Again, just my idea. I'm sure he wasn't trying to be dirty to you, however it's good he apologized.

 

[Serena]

No, he wasn't trying to be rude. That's what's so hard to deal with. I know what to do when they mean to be shocking or insulting. It's when he is perfectly serious and is sure I'm going to jump at the chance when I'm ready. Ummm, no.

How do you tell someone you won't ever go out with them, and won't ever anything else with them either? Without being rude or hurting them.
I'm just afraid it will affect the friendship with my daughter and his daughter.
She wants me to be her mom for goodness sakes. I hate hurting people, but no.

 

[Randi]

Whenever I am faced with a personal question that doesn't deserve an answer, I always use the old saying: I'll forgive you for asking that question if you'll forgive me for not answering it.
It is polite but gets the point across.
I'll bet in your case, his daughter has been telling him lots of things that may have pushed him into saying something.
2 young girls, best friends, one with a single mother, and one with a single father. Bet their imaginations are running wild!