Another MIL Vent

[jbmom]

Yes, another mil vent. First of all, I love my mil and we have a great relationship.

Last week I had to go in for a second mammogram and she came and sat with my son. Very grateful for that. What kind of makes me upset is that my sister had called for information on our cousins funeral. She knew I was going for my second mammogram, but my mil felt the need to tell her "she isn't home, she had to go have a second mammogram." Then my brother called, I hadn't even told him I had a first mammogram let alone a second. I like to keep medical stuff private unless there really is something to worry about. She told him the same thing. So now he was freaking out and asking his wife if she knew if something was wrong with me and why I would be getting a second mg.

Fast forward to today, I had a dr. appointment to go over all of the tests I had recently. She once again sat with my ds. My sis called and she tells her "she's at the dr. getting the results of all of her tests" I understand she has to take a message, but couldn't she juts say "She's at the dr. I'll tell her that you called."

DH said I shouldn't tell her what I'm going in for and just tell her it's a routine dr. appt. I'm beginning to think he's right. Oh and she's been telling everyone in her church my, dh and both ds medical conditions. Not that we really have many. I just feel like it's our business and if we share it with her it should stay with her. Am I wrong?

 

[mickeyboat]

Some people are a lot more free with their medical information than others. When you are going for a test, just tell her where you are going, and ask her to keep it to herself, that you don't want to unnecessarily worry someone until you know there is something to worry about. Something like "I really appreciate you watching DS, and your care and concern about my (DH's DS's) health, but I would appreciate it if you kept this quiet, so I don't alarm anyone before I know what is going on."

Denae

 

[Hannathy]

Don't use her for free babysitting then. Pay some one who wil just take a message. She probably feels like everyone in the family is "family" and it is no big deal, a lot of families share every thing. I don't like my family to know all my business so I keep it to myself . You can try to nicely tell her you want to keep it private for now, but I doubt it will work.

Next time get a paid sitter.

 

[welovedisneyx4]

You do not need to get a paid sitter!!

I would however, not tell her exactly where I was going or why I was going. My MIL has the tendency to repeat things I thought I was telling her in confidence. I have learned over the years to be very careful w/ what I say to her b/c sometimes it ends up in someone's ears that it wasn't supposed to be in, even when I told her specificly not to say anything!!

You are not wrong, you are just learning she doesn't have the same idea of priviacy that you do.

 

[j's m]

You have my mother in law! Exact same circumstances, 2nd mammo and ultrasound, babysitting my DS and told the WORLD about my mammos. Sorry, but my b**bs are my business. I found out because afterwords she said oh, Deb said that her friend had to get a 2nd mammo, and Cari said ... and my friend said...

My MIL couldn't believe I would get upset about it, they apparently share everything with friends and other relatives. Believe it or not that was the last time she sat for me for medical reasons, and that's been 10 years.

She also shared about my DH's cousin's colonoscopy. Like I wanted to hear that!

Then she complains we don't tell her anything. Duh.

Good luck, and get a different babysitter.