Another "is this tacky" question

[Tiggerific04]

Well, people brings gifts to a house warming party, but they don't get to live in the house; baby showers, but they don't get invited to the birth; engagement party with no expectations of being invited to anything; etc... People should be bringing a gift out of good will, not b/c they expect anything in return. When invited to a wedding that I can't attend I still send a $$$ gift.
Make it an engagement/bridal party or have a Jack n Jill (co-ed) with food, games etc... People will being gifts to attend the shower, not to attend the wedding. As stated before, they only need to buy one gift, not two. At the shower take a moment to thank anyone and explain how you wish you could invite everyone but this was the best option for you, and you wanted to have the shower to spend wedding time with all your family, even it is before the actual event

My MOH made the same point about the baby shower . I totally agree with you about bringing a gift to be kind, not to receive something in return. I just didn't want to break any etiquette "rules" or whatever and needed some other opinions. We actually found out that DF's uncle might help throw us a party when we get back so that everyone can come and celebrate with us. I guess we'll just wait and see for now.

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

I had an Intimate Wedding with just immediate family and didn't want a shower at first either. I honestly thought it was tacky. But everyone kept asking me about when the shower would be and after talking to a lot of people we decided to have one. We also had an "at-home reception", which a lot of people viewed as the actual wedding, so they didn't have a problem giving us presents (at least this is what they told a lot of my immediate family). Finally I just let everyone else decide whether or not we had a bridal shower and we ended up having a great wine tasting/bridal shower!

 

[JandJ]

I don't think people feel they are "owed" anything for sending a gift. The craziest thing, to me, was after we sent out wedding announcements we received gifts. We never expected anything from anyone, I mean we practically eloped, but family and friends sent us wedding gifts. We were extremely surprised and grateful. I think people just like to celebrate happy occassions and sending a gift is usually how they do that!

One thing that has happened - a couple of cousins have gotten married since our wedding and we were not invited. When I pushed for a reason I was told "we weren't invited to your wedding" to which I replied "No one was invited to my wedding!" Seriously, it was my daddy, my Godmother (since mom passed), my brother and his wife, my sister, DH's parents, my BFF (she introduced DH and me), and my niece was my MOH. My sisters other kids weren't even invited! I think not inviting us to their wedding or even sending a wedding announcement, just because we had a small wedding is so petty but it did save me from buying them a gift

 

[Thumper's Tara]

Okay...so I have another question about the showers....I am having a custom wedding, but for budget reasons are only having about 50-75 people. My parents are planning on throwing me a low-key at home reception. My family is huge and I have decided to cut it off at the 1st cousin mark for the Disney wedding...

I am assuming that I would need to do the samething for the shower...my MOH has already said she plans on throwing me a shower, but I am not sure where the cut-off is or how to do this...

????

-TT