Another IL vent thread

[Chattyaholic]

Our house is always chilly to my Mom. She's 70, and on Coumadin like your FIL, plus she weighs about 100 pounds dripping wet, so has no "meat on her bones" to keep her warm. If she comes to visit for an afternoon I always turn the heat up a bit for her and if she were to stay overnight with us I would turn the heat up for her. I wouldn't want her to be cold. I can put shorts and a t-shirt on if it's too hot for me. And if she stayed a week there is no way I'd want her to be cold for that long of time.

I think you should have turned the heat up for your FIL. 66 sounds pretty cold to me.

 

[kdibattista]

You house, your rules... isn't it your DH's house too? He sounds as though he wanted to accomodate his father so where does his opinion fit in? I agree it may be annoying but you should really pick your battles and this isn't one I would fight.

 

[Mkrop]

I think you are being incredibly rude to a guest in your home.

 

[ajk912]

I am really suprised by the responses. There are 7 people in the house, everyone has to be hot for one person? Remember, I offered to buy an electric blanket/space heater. MIL said don't waste the money. MIL was actually the one who suggested the lockbox to keep FIL away from the thermostat- so even my MIL agrees with me. I just can't do that..it feels mean to me, for some reason. Luckily, it ended up being unseasonably warm for most of the week so we ended up just opening the windows in the house. They left this morning. As for the "guest in my house" responses- if I went to his house, and I said it was hot, was he obligated to turn down the heat because I was hot? I see it as a case of majority rules...maybe because I am from a big family? My kids actually run around in undies and tee shirts for 66, and that's what the thermostat is on, the thermostat in the hallway away from all sunlight. We have windows EVERYWHERE including skylights so it actually feels much warmer.

I think you are being incredibly rude to a guest in your home.

 

[Galahad]

I am really suprised by the responses. There are 7 people in the house, everyone has to be hot for one person?

70 is hot?
And he's on Coumadin?
Yeah, I think you're wrong too. Way too petty for something so trivial. Life's too short.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

I would absolutely tell and expect my kids to suck it up and be warm for grandpa.

 

[Mkrop]

I am really suprised by the responses. There are 7 people in the house, everyone has to be hot for one person? Remember, I offered to buy an electric blanket/space heater. MIL said don't waste the money. MIL was actually the one who suggested the lockbox to keep FIL away from the thermostat- so even my MIL agrees with me. I just can't do that..it feels mean to me, for some reason. Luckily, it ended up being unseasonably warm for most of the week so we ended up just opening the windows in the house. They left this morning. As for the "guest in my house" responses- if I went to his house, and I said it was hot, was he obligated to turn down the heat because I was hot? I see it as a case of majority rules...maybe because I am from a big family? My kids actually run around in undies and tee shirts for 66, and that's what the thermostat is on, the thermostat in the hallway away from all sunlight. We have windows EVERYWHERE including skylights so it actually feels much warmer.

I dont think 7 people are going to suffer that much by being nice to an elderly man who happens to be their grandfather for a week.

I am always cold so when I go to my ILs I am downright freezing. So I always bring plenty to keep me warm but sometimes I am shivering nonetheless, they look at me like I have three heads but they graciously turn the heat up a little more (still not enough for me but the gesture is nice) bc I am there DIL and I am guest in their home. And we usually go up for at least an overnight stay or the weekend.

Oh yeah and it is not MIL's body that is shivering, it is FIL. My DH is perfectly fine as our my kids but if DH told his parents "oh dont mind her, let her suck it up" I would not be a happy camper.

 

[DVCLiz]

I am really suprised by the responses. There are 7 people in the house, everyone has to be hot for one person? Remember, I offered to buy an electric blanket/space heater. MIL said don't waste the money. MIL was actually the one who suggested the lockbox to keep FIL away from the thermostat- so even my MIL agrees with me. I just can't do that..it feels mean to me, for some reason. Luckily, it ended up being unseasonably warm for most of the week so we ended up just opening the windows in the house. They left this morning. As for the "guest in my house" responses- if I went to his house, and I said it was hot, was he obligated to turn down the heat because I was hot? I see it as a case of majority rules...maybe because I am from a big family? My kids actually run around in undies and tee shirts for 66, and that's what the thermostat is on, the thermostat in the hallway away from all sunlight. We have windows EVERYWHERE including skylights so it actually feels much warmer.

There's a bigger picture here which you are unable or unwilling to see or figure out, and after 4 pages it's clear you aren't suddenly going to, so I'll just say I'm glad they left this morning and wish you a pleasant weekend...

 

[kdibattista]

I would absolutely tell and expect my kids to suck it up and be warm for grandpa.

 

[MushyMushy]

I am really suprised by the responses. There are 7 people in the house, everyone has to be hot for one person? Remember, I offered to buy an electric blanket/space heater. MIL said don't waste the money. MIL was actually the one who suggested the lockbox to keep FIL away from the thermostat- so even my MIL agrees with me. I just can't do that..it feels mean to me, for some reason. Luckily, it ended up being unseasonably warm for most of the week so we ended up just opening the windows in the house. They left this morning. As for the "guest in my house" responses- if I went to his house, and I said it was hot, was he obligated to turn down the heat because I was hot? I see it as a case of majority rules...maybe because I am from a big family? My kids actually run around in undies and tee shirts for 66, and that's what the thermostat is on, the thermostat in the hallway away from all sunlight. We have windows EVERYWHERE including skylights so it actually feels much warmer.

I feel so sad for your poor FIL if everyone including his own wife is treating him that way.

 

[Disney Doll]

There's a bigger picture here which you are unable or unwilling to see or figure out, and after 4 pages it's clear you aren't suddenly going to, so I'll just say I'm glad they left this morning and wish you a pleasant weekend...

Ding!!! Ding!!! Ding!!! We have a winner!

The next post will be "my inlaws don't like me".

 

[DVCLiz]

Ding!!! Ding!!! Ding!!! We have a winner!

The next post will be "my inlaws don't like me".

Ooh, thanks, Disney Doll - I rarely win anything!!!

My daughters think that their father and step-mother keep the house too cold, and they (the adults, not the children) are always either on a diet of some sort or on an exercise kick. In other words, it's not much fun for the most part to be either cold or hungry (hungry as in no snacks, not as in being starved!) That's why they call my house the "warm, fat house" - when they walk in the door they know the temperature will be pleasant and they can unload all of the heavy sweaters and maybe even have a Coke!!!! I love that my house has that feeling - I would pay a lot to avoid cold temps inside in the winter.

 

[froglady]

Maybe the OP should print out this thread, so she can read it after FIL dies. Please remember that your children are watching how you treat your parents, and are making mental notes. Some day, you'll be begging them to accomodate your special needs, and will hear, "My house, my rules" and "Why should all of us have to be uncomfortable because of you?"

 

[MELSMICE]

Well.....yes, I think you are wrong. Part of being a good hostess is making sure your guests are comfortable. 66 would be way too chilly for many if not most people, particularly the elderly.

I agree. I think you should compromise at 68. My father is on Cumadin also & it always cold - even in the summer.

I believe you should make your guests as comfortable as possible, along with keeping yourself comfortable in your own home. I don't think compromising is asking too much.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes you are wrong, rude, and disrespectful on top of it.

You really need a lesson in humanity.

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Sorry, but I agree with you. My house, my rules. I would offer a space heater, sweater and or blanket. My brother does the same thing. They also make us turn off the tv when they are there. They don't let me nephew watch much tv at all, and not that I would sit there and watch tv all day long if they were visiting anyway, but seriously all day long, all we would do is sit around and stare at the baby. Duh. Give an inch, they take a mile.

 

[kerrynic78]

wow, some people have some major control issues.

 

[Keli]

Sorry, OP. I think you are way in the wrong here.

First of all, you really should stop with the "my house, my rules, I pay the bills" crap. That sounds like a line you use on a mouthy pre-teen not on a 1)grown adult, 2)guest in your home who is 3) your father in law!!! I think you need to learn how to be more gracious.

That is my honest opinion.

I'm afraid I have to agree with this poster. Really, you aren't treating your guests very well. 66 degrees is cold to most people and especially so to the elderly.

 

[kdibattista]

Sorry, but I agree with you. My house, my rules. I would offer a space heater, sweater and or blanket. My brother does the same thing. They also make us turn off the tv when they are there. They don't let me nephew watch much tv at all, and not that I would sit there and watch tv all day long if they were visiting anyway, but seriously all day long, all we would do is sit around and stare at the baby. Duh. Give an inch, they take a mile.

But is it not also her DH's house, her DH's rules? And from her OP, he wanted to accomodate his father. Where does he fit in?

 

[sha_lyn]

For those of you who feel it is ok to freeze out FIL: Would you feel the same if it were your grandmother or grandfather who were cold? Would you say, "Sorry, gram. I'm not going to be warm for you?"

Is it really unreasonable to raise the temp a massive 4 degrees to make your elder happy?

I would give grandma a pair of socks and a sweater

OP I am right there with you.
I am shocked my the people who say they keep their house at 70+ in the winter. Are you wearing nothing but bathing suits or running around naked?
I would pass out if I kept the house that hot.
My thermostat is set on 66/67 (bedrooms/rest of house) during the day and 64/62 at night.