Another co-worker vent...

[pettyone]

Well, I've had it up to my eyeballs today...

One of my coworkers has suffered from anxiety/panic attacks since she was 7 years old. She has sought counseling and has been--and currently is-- on medication to help lessen the frequency/severity of these attacks.

I understand that there have been times when she has been late to work or absent because of these attacks.

None of this I have a problem with...

My issue is that she is excessively tardy and absent for b.s. reasons. This has now gone on for 7 years, through three different supervisors. Her current supervisor, my boss as well, feels like his hands are tied and that he cannot do anything to her (write her up, place her on probation, or terminate her) since there are psychological issues involved. The company that I work for is also afraid of a discrimination lawsuit...

If you are late or miss work because:

1) Your daughter forgot her show-and-tell item;
2) The drop-off line in front of the school is long;
3) You stopped to get breakfast;
4) Your husband didn't reset the alarm after he got up;
5) You tripped over the dog going to the bathroom;
6) You stayed up all night watching movies;
7) You had a headache last night;
8) You won't get up early enough to give yourself extra time (i.e. you get up at 7:00am to be at work by 8:30am, have 2 kids, and live 30 minutes from work);
9) Your DD5 refuses to get dressed for preschool;
10) Fill in the blank here, I'm sure she's used the excuse before...

Then, obviously, you have other issues unrelated to your anxiety.

I told my boss this morning that he needed to take the anxiety/panic factor out of the picture and to look at each attendance occurence and its cause to be able to document her file...

Am I making any sense??

Thanks for listening!

 

[lulugirl]

I think your boss needs to get a backbone and stop tolerating her unprofessional behavior.

 

[figment52]

I think your boss needs to get a backbone and stop tolerating her unprofessional behavior.

What she said!!

If it makes him feel better when she starts giving those excuses write her up and list the excuse she gave. Have her sign it. Both of them will soon get the messages that 1) this is not related to her illness and 2) her boss is going to figure out that she is playing him. He is now free to fire with documentation that it is not illness related (stopping for breakfast - please) and she may just shape up when she realizes (by her signatures) that they are paying attention to her reasons.

 

[WhatATreat]

i agree with both the previous posters. None of the excuses you listed have anything to do with panic/anxiety disorder.

 

[shirleyb]

What type of job is it? Is it the type of job that her being late affects the operation of the department? If so, I'd (if I were the boss) play hardball.

If not, and she was a great employee in other aspects, I'd probably let it go, as long as she made up the time she was late. I'm sure I'll get lots of disagreements here, but if someone is routinely late (say 15 - 30 minutes) but otherwise a great employee, it might be better just to readjust their work schedule. Unless other people's jobs directly hinge on hers, of course.

 

[budbeerlady]

Ohhh, Good luck! I had a co-worker like this, it sucks! My favorite was not only the excessive tardies and lates, but when you get an attack right after calling your best friend and setting up a tee time. I hate to see someone use their "illness" to that kind of an advantage. Some people really have problems but they are at work day in and day out, ON TIME!

 

[pettyone]

What type of job is it? Is it the type of job that her being late affects the operation of the department? If so, I'd (if I were the boss) play hardball.

If not, and she was a great employee in other aspects, I'd probably let it go, as long as she made up the time she was late. I'm sure I'll get lots of disagreements here, but if someone is routinely late (say 15 - 30 minutes) but otherwise a great employee, it might be better just to readjust their work schedule. Unless other people's jobs directly hinge on hers, of course.

We work in the Audit Department of a local bank...so, no, technically her being late doesn't affect our day-to-day operations.

She does not make up the time that she is late, only gets a full week's pay if it is a "vacation" week...other than that, she does not work a full schedule. Usually by the middle of the year, she has no sick time left to take or vacation time, so she takes one week of vacation a year unpaid...

Her work, when she actually does it, is great; however, 45 minutes of great work during an 8-hour workday does not make a great employee. Add to that the constant drama (yelling at husband, crying because of husband), constant phone calls to chit-chat, and the times she sleeps at her desk (not during her lunch break)...it's just not a fun environment to work in.

I think this is all boiling down to the fact that the bank has been told by their attorneys that we have treated her as if she has a disability, so now, they are afraid of a lawsuit...honestly, I think that is what keeps anyone from acting...

Thanks for responding!

 

[Mackey Mouse]

I am sorry that your work condition is not great... I am sure that working with someone who does not do their work, talks on the phone, fights on the phone, cries at work, falls asleep at her desk certainly is not a pleasant work environment... add in her anxiety issues and the fact that her supervisor's hands are probably tied and cannot get rid of her for not doing her job properly makes it even more intolerable..

Come and vent anytime you want... there are some who would say there but for the grace of God, go I....and I hear that too... I would not want to be her.

 

[miss missy]

I know what you mean. We have a guy here who uses up all his vavc time by march and then bangs in sick for a week at a time! He had 5 weeks paid from doing this and 3 suspentions for another 5 days (unpaid) but man o man So we have to do his workload during all this time off. My boss doesn't have a backbone and treats him like a baby.

He already took vaca 2 days out of 3 this year! Here we go again. There is a protocol for absence and the guy play it right to the point before he gets fired! Every 12 mos you drop a displine step so he play the time that way. Makes me soo mad!

 

[Mono~rail]

Dr. Phil addressed this very issue yesterday afternoon on his show. A college girl brought her sorority sister on because she has had enough of her chronic lateness. She even was late for her flight to CA to be on the Dr. Phil show and missed her flight.

Dr. Phil said that chronic tardiness is a matter of arrogance. The person who is late thinks that they are so important everything will stop and wait for them to show up.

 

[ImarriedGrumpy]

I have a panic disorder, and I think your co-worker is giving the rest of us a bad name! Yes, I've had to step out of the office in the middle of a task to "find my happy place" in the middle of an attack, but honestly I try to AVOID using my panic/anxiety disorder as an excuse for anything because I already feel like I'm disrupting things. Of course, 99% of the time people don't know I'm having a panic attack unless I tell them, and sometimes I do try to cover it up by excusing myself to use the restroom instead of announcing it to the world. Of course, some of my jobs were contributing to the panic/anxiety.

Now I work from home doing childcare for a friend, and I'm down to only one panic attack every couple months.

I guess if I try to be compassionate to your co-worker, I could see how maybe her anxiety/panic isn't as well controlled as she tries to present, and she's possibly using these other excuses to cover what's really going on, and maybe she's really feeling like life is unbearably out of control. I know that I went through a few months where it just felt like I couldn't handle the world and I was sure everything was just going to come crashing down on me. I wanted nothing more than to escape somehow and find everything magically fixed. Maybe your coworker is going through that and trying to cope but failing miserably...

Don't know, just trying to see it from a different perspective...but I'm sure it must be very frustrating for you to have to be in that environment. Hang in there!

 

[WhatATreat]

ImarriedGrumpy, thanks for pointing out the other side. She could be using silly excuses because she doesn't want to talk about the real one. I was just trying to picture myself telling my boss I was late because I stopped for breakfast, or tripped over the dog on my to the bathroom. Anyway, thanks for showing us the other side.

 

[pettyone]

and I'm down to only one panic attack every couple months.

I guess if I try to be compassionate to your co-worker, I could see how maybe her anxiety/panic isn't as well controlled as she tries to present, and she's possibly using these other excuses to cover what's really going on, and maybe she's really feeling like life is unbearably out of control.

Don't know, just trying to see it from a different perspective...but I'm sure it must be very frustrating for you to have to be in that environment. Hang in there!

I appreciate your post.

It seems as if the "everyday" stressors that the rest of us make it through without much trauma really send her over the edge. I think that if she would be more proactive, be better prepared, be a bit more organized, alot of these little triggers would be alleviated; however, she has no intention of making adjustments to her life that would make things better--she would rather use the disorder as a crutch--and that

 

[ImarriedGrumpy]

I appreciate your post.

It seems as if the "everyday" stressors that the rest of us make it through without much trauma really send her over the edge. I think that if she would be more proactive, be better prepared, be a bit more organized, alot of these little triggers would be alleviated; however, she has no intention of making adjustments to her life that would make things better--she would rather use the disorder as a crutch--and that

I totally agree. I was in a therapy group for a little while and some of the group members just didn't seem to even TRY to change. It was a requirement of our HMO that in order to see a counselor for individual therapy, you had to participate in "classes" that they assigned you to. I wanted to get past the panic, so I jumped through the hoops and had DH make me go even when I didn't want to. The first week we had 40 people in the group, the next week we were down to 20, and by the fourth (and final) week there were only 8 of us left. The therapist leading the group told us that we were the ones most likely to get find improvement - because we stuck with it and made an effort. And then I had to be in a group with some of the people who dropped out of the first class, and had to listen to them whine about how they couldn't move on. One woman just pouted and whined and moped...and I quickly discovered that she was a lifetime member of the "show up for the first class and then make excuses for why you can't make the rest of the sessions" club.

Mental illness sucks and can be completely incapacitating, and taking that first step to get yourself out of the pit takes an enormous effort, but it sounds like your coworker has been in treatment for years, and I agree that it seems like she should be past this stage in her life. There really does come a point where you either need to suck it up and deal with life, or check yourself into the behavioral health wing and get some serious treatment. (and why isn't there a smiley in a straight jacket when you need one? )

 

[pettyone]

There really does come a point where you either need to suck it up and deal with life, or check yourself into the behavioral health wing and get some serious treatment. (and why isn't there a smiley in a straight jacket when you need one? )

Thanks for the perspective & the support...the day hasn't improved much...said coworker came in at 11am, then took an hour lunch break at noon...my boss is not in a good mood (he's the most mellow person on the planet), one of the girls in our department is pregnant with the "progesterone fairy" influencing her moods, one of the other girls is hiding, and our other coworker is oblivious...wonder what his secret is???