Another Birth Control Question

[Toad_Passenger]

I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm a guy, and I have a question for the ladies about birth control.

DW and I just had, presumably, our last child. We do not want to have another, nor could we really afford to have another one. I did not want DW to have any sort of surgery, and my endocrinologist (I'm a Type 1 diabetic with a high risk of infection) recommended against a vasectomy for me.

That being said, DW decided on the Mirena IUD. I know NOTHING about this type of stuff, but I've been really scared about how we "know" if it's working or not? I carry a lot of stress, and the thought of another child at this point raises my blood pressure something fierce.

Are these Mirena things reliable? We've only been intimate 1 time in the 4 weeks since she's got the IUD, because, frankly, I'm terrified about whether or not it's working.

Anyone care to help a guy out, to understand and feel better about this?

 

[stashbin]

Ok..don't take this the wrong way, but what's the problem with your wife having a procedure done? I mean, I just had my tubes tied (with an ablation) and it was the BEST thing I have EVER done for myself! No worrys about getting pregnant or no more periods. There were no complications and no pain either. Very simple. Now I don't have to worry about birth control.

If you are really as scared as you say you are and it is posing a threat to your intimacy, then by all means let her have a tubal!

 

[Toad_Passenger]

Ok..don't take this the wrong way, but what's the problem with your wife having a procedure done? I mean, I just had my tubes tied (with an ablation) and it was the BEST thing I have EVER done for myself! No worrys about getting pregnant or no more periods. There were no complications and no pain either. Very simple. Now I don't have to worry about birth control.

If you are really as scared as you say you are and it is posing a threat to your intimacy, then by all means let her have a tubal!

I guess I worded that wrong. Neither of us wanted her to have the surgery, not just me. Actually it was more like, she didn't want it, so I supported that decision.

 

[minkydog]

Well, it seems as if it *has* interferred with your intimacy already. Then it seems you have three options: continue to use the Mirena and add a second form of birth control until you get less anxious, have your wife get a tubal ligation, or abstinence. I'm guessing that abstinence isn't high on your list, so that leaves you with only two options. As you said, vasectomy is *not* a good option for you.

No form of birth control, with the exception of vasectomy or tubal ligation, is going to approach 100% accuracy. The pill probably comes the closet, followed closely by the IUD. Still, accidents do happen. And the pill is associated with some risks, particularly to women over 35 and those of all ages who smoke.

My personal choice would be to add condoms for the next several months until you either calm down or get sick of it. It will buy you both some time to think things through. If I knew for a FACT that I never wanted any more kids under any circumstances, I think i'd suck it up and have the tubal rather than risk damaging the marital intimacy.

 

[brockash]

I guess I worded that wrong. Neither of us wanted her to have the surgery, not just me. Actually it was more like, she didn't want it, so I supported that decision.

Okay, that sounds much better From what I've read/heard the iud does work, however NO birth control is 100%, so maybe use a second form of birth control if it's causing a problem in your relationship right now.

 

[AshleyW]

To answer your reliability question, IUD's (Mirena included) are over 99% effective. I wouldn't worry about it. If you do worry about it, you could use a backup method (condoms) like Minky suggested.

 

[stashbin]

I guess I worded that wrong. Neither of us wanted her to have the surgery, not just me. Actually it was more like, she didn't want it, so I supported that decision.

Ok that sounds better. I would use condoms with the BC then. But I will say this; that is going to get old! I waited for over 4 years after my DD was born to decide that I wanted the tubal just because I wasn't sure if we wanted a third child. Once we made up our minds that we were absolutely done, I went for the procedure because we were over being worried about it every month. It was so simple, I was up the next day. I hope you can get past the worry...being worried is no fun in the bedroom!

 

[superdiz]

I recommend this book http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274455941&sr=8-1

Technically there is a very short period in time when you can actually get pregnant, and this will help you avoid those times if condoms aren't your thing. If not, condoms. I don't trust IUDs.

 

[iheartdisney]

I'm in the team of either abstaining or using a condom during the ovulation week- then you know that even if your DW is in the .001 percent as far as the IUD is concerned, you are covered.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Sorry, can't help with the IUD part, but I did have a tubal ligation and my side effects have been horrendous. If you and your DW do not want surgery, I highly recommend AGAINST it.

How about learning about charting her ovulation and just abstaining on those days? I am sure the IUD would be very effective during non-ovualtion times. That would only cut a few days per month for you and hopefully ease your mind.

 

[justhat]

I haven't had it done, but I keep getting mailings advertising about the Essure procedure. It is permanent, but not a surgery, and done in the dr's office. Maybe check into that.

 

[ReneeA]

I haven't had it done, but I keep getting mailings advertising about the Essure procedure. It is permanent, but not a surgery, and done in the dr's office. Maybe check into that.

THis is what I would look into. We went the vasectomy route, but unfortunately my DH was one of the super few that had side effects. Had we known what would happen (crystal ball anyone?) I'd have gone in to find out more about Essure.

 

[Shannon G]

Interestingly enough, according to information I found (on the student health services website for UC Davis, if anyone wants the source) Mirena actually has a LOWER failure rate than female sterilization. The failure rate for Mirena is 0.2% (i.e. it is 99.8% effective) while female sterilization has a failure rate of 0.5% (it is 99.5% effective).

No birth control method, other than complete abstinence, is 100% effective. Mirena is very close. And you don't have to worry about "user error" such as forgetting to take a pill.

 

[STLDisney_Freak]

I don't have the mirena IUD. i have the paraguard IUD. It is the same as mirena except without any hormones. I can promise you it works. I've had in for 5 years and no more kids. DH and I are both done with a capital D, but like your family doesn't wanna do surgery. With that said there is always that .00001% chance something could happen, but I don't lay awake at night worrying about it.

 

[Tinkermommy]

THis is what I would look into. We went the vasectomy route, but unfortunately my DH was one of the super few that had side effects. Had we known what would happen (crystal ball anyone?) I'd have gone in to find out more about Essure.

I think I just read this wrong. I thought you were talking about a condition your husband has!

I did get my tubes tied during my last c-section. My DH was still worried about pregnancy so he was going to get a vasectomy. I have recently also had an ablation that went great. So absolutely no chance now!

 

[ReneeA]

I think I just read this wrong. I thought you were talking about a condition your husband has!

ROFL!! If that particular condition involves pain during a specific act that you DON'T want pain...then that's what we'll call it.

 

[RachelEllen]

The IUD is as close to perfect birth control as you can get. Lowest pregnancy rate of anything, bar abstanance, no chance for user error. There's really no point in adding condoms, or rhythm or anything else to it. You'd be going to a lot of trouble to go from 99.8 to 99.9% prevention rate.

 

[LilyWDW]

The only way to be 100% free from any chance of pregnancy is to not do the act that causes it. Anything else, including cutting and snipping, still runs SOME chance of pregnancy.

 

[dbogen]

Ok let me tell you about my experience. 5 weeks after I had mine inserted a good friend let me know she was preg with twins because hers failed. I think, OK I'm good that is the one in howevermany it happens to, I'm good. WELL 8 months later when I was in for my yearly visit, the darn thing was gone..., and I did go back for the recheck about a month after incertion, and it was there. As I went in for the untrasound to find it, I told the tech as long as she didn't find a heartbeat I was ok.

Turns out the darn thing had moved through the uterus and was lodged back near my bowles (TMI Yet). Since I had to go in for surgery to have it removed I opted for a tubal. It was an outpatient procedure and I don't know why I didn't do it sooner.

Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to give my experience, also if you listen to the commercials now, it talkes about the device moving.

 

[Luv'sTink]

I have a Mirena have for a year...no problems at all as matter of fact I like my side effect...no cycle! There are strings attached to it that are to be checked regularly, not that everyone does. I had a different IUD 10 years ago too and didn't have any real problems with it either.

I guess your wife has to decide what it right for her and you will have to agree as to what to do.