Animal Lovers: When did you get another after losing yours?/Updated #25

[Pea-n-Me]

My friend put his cat to sleep a week ago because of a large facial tumor. He's a single guy and it was just him and his cat for many years. He's so sad right now. He's feeling torn about getting another, yet is thinking about visiting some animal shelters this week.

Any words of wisdom or experiences to share? I'm sure it will help him to hear your stories. Thank you!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I haven't NOT had a cat in 23 years. We've always had more than one. We started off with 2 half grown kittens when we were newly married. Three years later we got a kitten. Thos cats got old and one cat died. We then got a dog. After the second original cat died, we got 2 kittens (Tigger and Belle), so we had one elerdy cat and the 2 kittens. We ended up with a second dog after the old cat died. Then in September we got 2 more kittens.

I don't think there is any harm in your friend getting another cat (I would recommend 2...) as soon as he wants to. It's not like he was just divorced and he's running out to get remarried. I thing that there's nothing that helps a person get over the loss of a pet like having another one to pet, love, and take care of.

Hugs to your friend!

 

[goofygirl]

Tell him to take a browse in his local shelter. He'll know if there's a cat there who should come home with him.

 

[mssocks]

I was lucky. A stray kitten was found at the office on Friday and Murphy had to leave me on following Tuesday night. I claimed Beanie as mine .... oh about 11 hours later. Not one single regret other than when I got a second abandoned kitten two weeks later for "company" I didn't check the sex closely. Emily turned into Jake about 3 months later.

That being said, it's been 5 years last month and I can still start sobbing if I think of Murphy and her last moments with me. Like right now.

 

[MOMTOCUTESTDOGEVER]

My cat passed away in June of 1997. I wasn't able to think about another one until August of 1998. It did help that I had another cat already as part of the family. I don't know how I would have felt without her.

If your friend wants to get another kitten or cat, I say go for it.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

In April of 1991 DH and I adopted a tabby kitten. While we were at the shelter DH saw a black kitten he REALLY wanted, but she wasn't up for adoption yet. (The shelter holds animals for 72 hours so if they belong to someone the owner has a chance to find them.) DH went back 2 days later and got the black one, so we had 2. Last October (2004) we had to have the tabby put to sleep. Our black kitty was SO sad. She lost a bunch of weight and meowed all the time. In May we decided to go get another kitty. We got a gray kitten. She is a terror. Our poor old kitty can't quite decide what to think of the newcomer. It has taken a long time, but the two of them play together sometimes now.

Our black kitty is starting to show some signs of her age. I imagine when the time comes for her to be put down we will get another kitty pretty quickly to keep Miss Terror company. DH grew up with LOTS of cats, but 2 is my maximum.

I think for someone who just had one pet and now has none that getting a new pet fairly soon might be good. It never hurts to stroll through the shelter and take a look. The SPCA has lots of mobile adoptions this time of year.

 

[Laura]

I was ready about a year afterwards, but I didn't get another cat for almost four years--due to extenuating circumstances. I think it's different for everyone. If he's ready now, then maybe it will make him feel better adopting a shelter cat who needs a home.

 

[eclectics]

I've gone through this more times than I'd like to think about. I always swear to wait a long time or not get another at all, but I found getting another is really the only thing that made me feel better. Last time I waited about a month. I tell ya, having them around is such a joy. I'd be very depressed without a pet. Of course I can only speak for myself. Everyone is different. I think he will know when and what is right for him.

 

[KarenAylwood]

The cat we had when I was born died when I was in 6th grade. She wasn't the best of cats (I think my dad would use the word "hate" when referring to her) but I still saw her as part of the family- she was older than I was!

Well she died in January of... 1990something, and we were looking immediately for another cat. We were definitely ready for one- I especially felt like I needed a pet. Supposedly it is much harder to find kittens in the winter than the spring/summer. We heard about a shelter that had kittens- when we got there we watched a little girl walk out with the LAST one

My mom asked around at work and heard of a guy who had a farm nearby and had a cat that just couldn't stop.. you know. And she had a litter just about every time she could. We went and got two kittens from him A few years after that when I was 15 my parents went back and got another kitten- same mom, different dad. He's the outsider in the fam (and a little stupid too) but I don't think he knows it

I can't imagine my life at home without them. I now live away from home (500 miles) and would kill to have a kitten but our landlord doesn't allow it - starting THIS YEAR Part of the reason I get excited about going home is that I get to see my babies!!! The two older ones are now 12 and our little slow guy is turning 9 this coming year

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Thanks, guys. I know for myself when it comes to my dogs, I have to go out very soon afterward and get another. It takes a while to really warm up to the new dog, but eventually he or she fills the void in my heart left by my old companion(s). I miss all five of my dogs - three sets of ashes are buried in a memorial garden in my yard which I can see from my kitchen. The dog I have in my signature is 1 1/2 and a Piece of Work, LOL, but she's wormed her way into my heart and I'd be lost without her. aw:

I once read the best tribute you can give to a well loved pet is to get another since the love you shared will be missed so much. I agree with that. It is hard, though, when you feel guilty.

I'm going to change the title of this thread to "Animal" Lovers.

 

[Rex Rules]

We had our DDog for over 10 years and lost him in 2003. We still haven't gotten another dog. We did get a kitty last year, but I am finding myself wanting (and needing) a doggie more and more. I have asked for one for my birthday next year. Not sure if we will be able to get the same breed - I want the same breed, but DH isn't sure yet. There are still days when I miss our doggie. And I WASN"T a dog person when we got this animal - but he won my heart! aw:

In hindsight, I wish we had gone out sooner and gotten another dog. It has seemed the longer I wait the harder it is. We did see a dog, a different breed that we fell in love with several weeks after losing our darling, but I thought it was too soon. Now I wish we had just taken the plunge.
We'll be ready again - just a matter of going for it.

 

[Tigger_Magic]

Everyone is different. My experience has been that I've just "known" when it is time for a new addition to our family. Usually it's taken some time to get over the loss of one of our pets, some longer than others. Much depended on how much I or others in the family bonded with them. But we never refer to the newcomers as "replacements" because none of our pets can ever be replaced. They are all just new additions.

 

[Chattyaholic]

I had to have my sweet long-haired white cat, Louise (Weezie) put to sleep about this time 2 years ago, just before Christmas. She had cancer and it had gotten into her spine. I cried for days and thought I would never "get over it" as I'd had her several years and she was so sweet and affectionate.

I thought "no more cats" at the time, but my DD had a cat she needed to find a new home for. She had tried giving her to someone twice before and it hadn't worked out. She kept bugging me about taking the cat, so I finally told her (2 months after losing Weezie) to bring the cat down and "we would see..." Well, the cat ended up sleeping in my lap for 3-hours that afternoon, and I had not expected that to happen so soon!! I figured she would need a day or two to get used to us and the house, but nope...she "adopted" me immediately, and that evening I called my DD and told her she no longer needed to worry about finding the cat a new home.

Mystic (short-haired, black) has been with me almost 2 years already and is such a sweetheart, and even more affectionate than Weezie was!

I've discovered that a heart can hold the love for more than one pet at a time. Weezie will always have a special corner of my heart reserved just for her (and I still keep a framed photo of her on a table) but Mystic has a special spot in there too.

A new pet doesn't "take the place" of a lost pet. They have their own little personalities and distinctions, and you just appreciate them for what they are. I think I would have continued being sad had I not gotten another cat so soon. For me it was the best medicine in the world. aw:

 

[ktglads]

We lost our cocker spaniel Lady 2 years ago, 2 days before Christmas. I truly think that if the there was someplace open at that time, my dad would have gotten another dog that night. Instead we waited until Father's Day to get the hyper Chocolate lab we have today. It was really more due to schedules since noone would be home to train a puppy in the winter but there would be someone there in the summer.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

But we never refer to the newcomers as "replacements" because none of our pets can ever be replaced. They are all just new additions.

This is so true. aw:

 

[pumba]

it took us almost two and a half years before we did it again.......We got another dalmatian and we are so happy.....We had Jasmine for 8 years before the cancer took over her body. She was so wonderful. This little munchkin is 18 months old and full of it still.......we love her to pieces and her name is Megara .......Disney themes dalmatians.....what more could we ask for.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

You also asked for words of wisdom....

Make sure that your friend knows that as much as he's hurting right now and as much as he never wants to feel that hurt again, that time will help with those feelings and that eventually when he thinks of his kitty he will be filled with happy memories. Each and every time that I have lost a pet I think that I never want to get new pets because I don't want to feel that kind of hurt again. I'll think, "when these pets are gone, I'm not getting more", but I always do (I always have multiple pets at a time). Maybe I'm just a slow learner! There are so many benefits to pet ownership and as much as it hurts to lose a beloved pet, it's so worth it for the years of enjoyment and companionship.

Linda

 

[chrissyk]

We got our kitten (now 10 years-old!) from the shelter about 6 months after DH's childhood cat passed away. DH was so sad about it that I blurted out that we could get a kitten come kitten season. It was love at first sight between DH and our little buddy I think that your friend should follow his heart...if he is lonely for a cat, he will probably find a great match at the shelter

 

[CheshireVal]

I lost my Sydney in July of 2003-- he was a 6 year old Siamese, and the first pet I've had of my very own since I was an official adult (I got him while I was in grad school). I had adopted another siamese kitten in october of 2002, Sebastian. He was devastated when Sydney died-- he absolutely LOVED Syd (though I'm not sure the feeling was ever returned!) It was just me and Sebastian for a while after that-- I really don't know what I would have done without him! It would be really hard to go from living with a beloved pet to having no pet at all.

To be honest, I never felt that I bonded with Sebastian in the same way I did with Syd- they are two very distinct personalities, and to this day I don't know that I'll ever have a cat that I'm as close to as I was with Syd-- me and Syd were just the two of us for 6 years, and we had kind of a special bond.

But when my DH moved in, he adopted a kitten, Chloe, from a shelter in August 2004. Chloe and Sebastian are now best friends, and I love them both.

I think it would be really hard to lose an only pet and not get a "replacement." While the newcomer can never replace the original, you can make new space in your heart!

 

[lovetheparks]

We had to put our Persian down in Jan 03 and it devastated both of us (she was 13 and we'd had her nearly 8 years) and we swore we'd never get another one. But we started looking around - just for giggles we said. We were looking for a kitty when we fell in love with our first dog. While we miss our Kara dearly, I could not imagine us without our pups! aw: They have helped us heal.