ANGRY IRAQIS DEMAND UTILITIES, SECURITY, DEMOCRACY, AND U.S. OUT BY THURSDAY
Thursday Deadline Problematic, Garner Says
Angry Iraqis took to the streets of Baghdad today demanding that the U.S. restore water, power and security, establish democratic institutions, and get out of Iraq by Thursday at the latest.
The impatient Iraqis, fresh from twenty-four years of brutal dictatorship at the hands of Saddam Hussein, made it clear in their protests today that two weeks of American occupation were more than enough.
The Americans promised to rebuild the country from top to bottom and create a democracy here, said Rifat Eshaiker, an organizer of the demonstration. What on earth is taking these dudes so long?
The anti-U.S. protesters filled Baghdads main thoroughfare, formerly Saddam Hussein Boulevard, and now called Not Saddam Hussein Boulevard.
Jay Garner, the retired U.S. general in charge of restoring Iraqs infrastructure and establishing a civilian authority, said he understood the Iraqis impatience but cautioned that the Thursday deadline might be problematic for us.
General Garner, however, hinted at a compromise: The Iraqis would like us to leave now, and wed like to leave in twenty years. When you look at it that way, were really only twenty years apart.
Pledging to meet the Iraqis halfway, Garner said that if the Americans "budget their time wisely" it may be possible for them to leave Iraq in as few as ten years.
He also addressed the issue of restoring electricity to Baghdad, urging all Iraqis to be in their homes tomorrow between the hours of 8 and 4.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
Thursday Deadline Problematic, Garner Says
Angry Iraqis took to the streets of Baghdad today demanding that the U.S. restore water, power and security, establish democratic institutions, and get out of Iraq by Thursday at the latest.
The impatient Iraqis, fresh from twenty-four years of brutal dictatorship at the hands of Saddam Hussein, made it clear in their protests today that two weeks of American occupation were more than enough.
The Americans promised to rebuild the country from top to bottom and create a democracy here, said Rifat Eshaiker, an organizer of the demonstration. What on earth is taking these dudes so long?
The anti-U.S. protesters filled Baghdads main thoroughfare, formerly Saddam Hussein Boulevard, and now called Not Saddam Hussein Boulevard.
Jay Garner, the retired U.S. general in charge of restoring Iraqs infrastructure and establishing a civilian authority, said he understood the Iraqis impatience but cautioned that the Thursday deadline might be problematic for us.
General Garner, however, hinted at a compromise: The Iraqis would like us to leave now, and wed like to leave in twenty years. When you look at it that way, were really only twenty years apart.
Pledging to meet the Iraqis halfway, Garner said that if the Americans "budget their time wisely" it may be possible for them to leave Iraq in as few as ten years.
He also addressed the issue of restoring electricity to Baghdad, urging all Iraqis to be in their homes tomorrow between the hours of 8 and 4.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
