And a few other lottery jokes
This one as an urban legend from Snopes.com (Obviously from Gaspode's and Cami's part of the world)
A couple goes out to a restaurant. The woman calls the waiter aside and says, "My boyfriend's bound to ask you what numbers won the lottery. These are the numbers he bet on. Will you tell him they won?" The waiter agrees. Sure enough, the boyfriend asks which numbers won. "Okay," says the waiter, "we've got a telly in the kitchen; I'll go and find out." He tells the boyfriend his numbers won.
Calmly, the man puts his car keys on the table and says to the woman: "The car and the house are yours. I'm shagging your sister."
Somehow, they tell him he hasn't really won. He walks out and hasn't been seen since.
Other versions have it happening at a wedding, etc...
Another that's a bit closer to home for me:
A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number.
The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million."
To which the man replied, "No sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today, and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.
The Redneck said, "I want all my money RIGHT now! I won it, and I want it."
Again the man patiently explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I WANT MY MONEY!! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, THEN I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!''
how's he doing now?
Dylan now owns the cutest Mickey suit I've ever seen!!!
and he got a baseball hat to match for only 1.99
