And the eternal battle rages on........ UPDATE

[JohnTBap]

DH has told DD - 8 - she cannot leave the table until she finishes dinner.


ACK

Somebody come and rescue me!!!




***OK, I had a long talk with her about how we don't always get to do what we want - and that includes eating our favorites at every meal. We talked about how doing something that you don't want builds character and is necessary to mature. She then went and ate. And guys, so you know, I'm talking two small pieces of turkey, some corn, and half a piece of cornbread. I'm concerned about eating disorders as well, but I don't think it was too much food for an 8 y/o. Sorry if I brought up some bad memories for y'all. ***

 

[02bBarbie]

tell him that plants the seeds of eating disorders in young girls.....

 

[doxdogy]

You can come and escape to my house.

 

[holycow]

You poor dear!
Hope she eats fast!...


Ugh...I just hate that battle!!!!!!


Holycow

 

[JohnTBap]

Originally posted by 02bBarbie
tell him that plants the seeds of eating disorders in young girls.....

I know. I did.

 

[SuiteDisney]

tell him that plants the seeds of eating disorders in young girls.....

That's what happened to me.

Who's going to save your daughter if you don't?

 

[Goofyposter]

Bud....on a serious note.....

can you suggest to DH that the body has built in regulatory elements...that.....lacking any part of the developing youth being faulty....should set the youngster up for a normal develop and body weight??....SURE it might seem hard to take a young one only chocking down 20% of a meal....but if their listening to their body...perhaps...that's all they need at the time!

 

[WebmasterAlex]

I'm a little suprised...how does making a child eat what sounds like a reasonably healthy well balanced meal cause eating disorders? What are you supposed to do?
I'm not being sarcastic, I have just never heard that before...

 

[Goofyposter]

how does making a child eat what sounds like a reasonably healthy well balanced meal cause eating disorders? What are you supposed to do?
I'm not being sarcastic

Alex...I for one would never assume that your questions were intended to be sarastic!....

...there is a school of influence out there...who subscribe to the thought that by making a child eat at a time not of their choosing is to encourage their overeating later in life.....I'm not saying I completely agree with this concept.....but there are those who would argue that after a child has reached a certain developemental point...they should be allow to eat 'what' and when they express the desire (the underlying belief {I think} is that those expressions of hungar are genuine and will educate the child to eat when hungery as opposed to on a clock schdule. And thus train a youth the difference between appetit and hunger....again..I'm not sure I buy into this entirely....but that's my understanding of that school of thought.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

not having seen the original post I don't know what was going on in JTB's house tonight. but ---

you don't force a child to eat. if you sit a child down at the table and offer her healthy foods, and she's not hungry, so be it. you don't allow her to choose something unhealthy instead of something healthy, and you don't have to run a restaurant and allow her to choose something other than what you prepared. and you don't worry if a child eats poorly once in awhile. you see what the child eats over the course of the week, not just one day. most kids will eat sufficient quantities of healthy foods over the course of a week without being forced to eat any specific item.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

and most important, don't make the dinner table a battleground. a child will choose not to eat, or will overeat, just to show that he or she is in control.

 

[SuiteDisney]

Originally posted by WebmasterAlex
I'm a little suprised...how does making a child eat what sounds like a reasonably healthy well balanced meal cause eating disorders? What are you supposed to do?
I'm not being sarcastic, I have just never heard that before...

It trained me to eat everything on my plate, whether I was hungry or not. I still clean my plate - whether I'm hungry or not. It's as if I don't even know how to listen to my body. If there's food on the plate, I just automatically eat it. You'd think it would just be a habit to break, but I haven't been able to break it.

 

[SuiteDisney]

And even at 44, I hate my step-father for doing that to me and I resent my mother for letting him.

 

[4greatboys]

This is a big bone of contention at my in-laws. FIL raised his boys to eat everything on their plate. At my house if you were hungry you ate and if not you didnt, but dont plan on having a big piece of cake or ice cream for "dessert".
So far my 2 youngest dont stay with them without me there. I have seen my FIL harp at my mil to maek my neice and nephew eat all theri food, not to let them leave the table til they do. I already told dh they are not doing that to my boys and if they means they dont watch the kids alone, I guess so be it. Fil also thinks small children should not run around and make noise they should be still and quiet--yeah right!

 

[peachgirl]

We talked about how doing something that you don't want builds character and is necessary to mature.

Being forced to eat when you don't want to doesn't build character or help you to mature.

That's just a battle to prove who the boss is.

Briar Rose 7457 has it exactly right, you're doing untold damage allowing your husband to do this to your daughter.

I might have tried telling my husband he was wrong, but then I would have put a stop to it if he chose not to.

 

[02bBarbie]

Originally posted by peachgirl
Being forced to eat when you don't want to doesn't build character or help you to mature.

That's just a battle to prove who the boss is.

Briar Rose 7457 has it exactly right, you're doing untold damage

Nicely said peachgirl

 

[Wagamama]

well, i think JTB's hubby is doing the right thing by making her finish whats on her plate. She's a growing girl and needs nutrition and vitamins. Just my opinion though...

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

Wagamama, I recommend you read Dr. Brazelton's books on child care. it may change your mind.


in an age when more and more children are obese, my dd's are (thankfully) not overweight. nor are they obsessed with dieting. and they are NOT malnourished.

you can always buy vitamins if you're concerned about it, though my pediatrician told me not to bother anymore by the time the girls reached school age.

I grew up in an age of "finish what's on your plate and be glad to have it, there are children starving in Asia." and my generation is the most whacked-out when it comes to being overweight or anorexic.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

picky eaters

 

[Planogirl]

Our son has to eat when we do at night but if he's not hungry, that's fine and he can eat as little or as much as he wants to. He usually only eats a little but he does have his hungry phases. But he's slim and very healthy so I think it's working OK. I also try to create meals that we'll all enjoy so we don't have any of the struggles with him or DH for that matter.

My father tried to make me eat things that I didn't like. It didn't work but he tried.