Amy's New Start : Comments Welcome!

[Amy&Dan]

Wow, I had this long post ranting about the same junk I always whine about and bottom line I'll just save you ladies' the task of reading about it and delete it!

Quick recap: Meltdown turned into a lesson and its all fine. Its funny how the same triggers in my life always produce the same meltdowns.

Back to the task at hand:

I went to a lunch at Olive Garden today for volunteers and ordered a coke and not one bite of food. I felt like I had to order something to drink but I kept my promise and not one bite of food went into my mouth. I was proud. Let me tell you, to pass up breadsticks is not easy lol. I came home and ate a tuna sandwich instead.

Now I am finally going to get my walk in at long last. After I drop off dd and her friend at a movie. Her friend wanted to go this mall clear across town (as did friend's mom in that she wanted them to do that and needed me to do all the driving ) and I said, "nope, I have to get to the gym then get your brother to Karate so do something out this way". I love this woman but her main mission in life is running her kids around town but she's working now so can't help with the driving. With gas this high, they can jolly well do something closer. That won't cost me a total of 2 hours in the car or one hour in the car plus three hours sitting at a mall waiting for them to get done. Totally insane and I am not doing it today. Even dd said "what a dumb idea".

I will probably dream about breadsticks tonight, I can still smell them and there were like 5 left in the basket right in front of me!

 

[toystoryduo]

Sending a gentle your way. I hear you on the meltdown thing. I had one of those myself yesterday. I pray that today is a much better day for both of us!

Excellent job on avoiding the breadsticks and food at Olive Garden!

Hope your Thursday is a good one!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Tracy, Wednesday was just one of those days.

I didn't weigh in today, since Dan worked all weekend he got today off as comp time and the day just sort of got away. I also don't think I lost a pound in spite of a very strong week with food and exercise. I hate it when that happens but it does so I might as well press on. I really need to hit things hard in the next two months, I have a lot of clothes that don't fit and it would really be nice to have them fitting for our trip.

I paid of my package today! But I have to say, I am a bit disappointed, Coronodo Springs is now available for our dates but I can't change because of my brother and his wife coming. They booked into POR to be near us and I know them well enough to know that now is not a good time to suggest they switch. Unlike me, they don't enjoy switching resorts all the time.Also, I have no idea if CSR is available to them with their cm discount. Don't get me wrong, I love POR but CSR is my other favorite and we have not been able to get in there in a long while and now when its available we still can't. Oh well, its not going anywhere. I know once we get to POR I'll be so happy to be there it won't matter.

Dan and I spent some time planning today, its really tough to get this trip down the way we want it, partly due to meeting up with friends the first part and then my brother the second part. Part of the issue is that neither group we are meeting up with wants to do the waterparks. I keep thinking we should take those out (hate to pay if we have so many days we can't go) but dh and the kids are adamant we stick with them so I guess we will.

I am busy getting stuff ready for a garage sale. I haven't done one in many years but since my sub division does a community one every spring and since I have some stuff I'd like to get rid of, now seems like a good time.

I may possibly weigh tomorrow but I sort of doubt it. Still thinking that I need to switch to Wed. for my WW day. Although I only have three weeks left on my membership so I guess it doesn't matter. I still think I might behave better on weekends if I know I have to face the music a bit sooner the next week!

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

 

[toystoryduo]

Woohoo for paying off your package today!!! Did you see the post on the DIS earlier about refillable mugs being good for life? I had to LOL at that one! Gotta love the April Fool's Day jokes.

Hope you have a great weekend!

 

[lovinaz]

Congrats on behaving at Olive Garden! I'm pretty sure dreaming about breadsticks has WAY less calories than eating them!

I know exactly what you mean about meeting people on your vacation and trying to plan. We once went on a cruise with 5 other couples, and it didn't take long for us to realize that we didn't have to do EVERYTHING with EVERYONE every day! It got to the point where we'd meet for drinks, or whatever, but everyone just did what they wanted and had a great time. So heck ya, go to the waterparks! Everyone else can figure something out and you can just meet up with them later.

Sounds like you are doing great working out and eating well! I bet you will be able to fit into all your clothes by Disney.

BTW, we are getting a new beagle baby! We wanted a girl, but ended up with a boy... His name will be Baxter, he is absolutely adorable. Poor Buckley has no idea what's in store for him! We will pick him up sometime after DD's soccer tourney the weekend of 4/16 (on the way home, if she has any say in it!)

 

[Amy&Dan]

BTW, we are getting a new beagle baby! We wanted a girl, but ended up with a boy... His name will be Baxter, he is absolutely adorable. Poor Buckley has no idea what's in store for him! We will pick him up sometime after DD's soccer tourney the weekend of 4/16 (on the way home, if she has any say in it!)

Amy, I am so glad Buckley will get a little brother! I love the name Baxter, in fact had Daisy been a boy, she would have been a Baxter. A long time ago, during the brief time nobody in our family had a beagle, my mom got a stuffed beagle for her bed that somebody gave her and she named it Baxter. A few years later she got a real beagle but ended up naming him Barney. Beagles have to have "B" names except for Daisy who somehow ended up with the wrong first initial!


Wow, what a week. I am so glad its almost over. Tonight when I get home at 9:30, I am going to collapse. Sometimes I think I must have been insane to not let ds get his liscense until he is 17. It was just with dan's layoff, we didn't feel like we wanted to pay for drivers ed until he got a job and then I was worried about the hike in our car insurance. If he had his licsense, life would be so much easier. Oh well, 8 months to go.

I have done VERY well with food all week. Last weekend was not so good. Have I mentioned lately how much weekends mess me up? I thought when we gave up eating out it would help but basically weekends are no easier even with eating at home 100% of the time. I just need to keep it to one day vs two full days plus Friday night. Bad me!

I just ate a large bowl of pasta with a creamy tomato sauce, however, I had about 700 calories to play with and by golly I probably came close. I'll have some raw veggies a bit later before I take dd to dance and call it a day.

Dan is hanging out with a friend tomorrow night. This guys wife is in Disneyland this weekend with their dd and so he invited Dan over to watch some guy flilcks, have some beer and I am sure play about 20 games of darts. I can't wait to have a nice, low cal evening (Dan is a bad influence on me I must say) and chill with dd and my new copy of Beauty and the Beast I have yet to watch. After the week I have had, its going to be very nice. And Dan can take his bad chips and beer habits to his friend and I can stay home and have a salad.

I only worked out three times this week, well short of my 5 time goal. Just have to do better next week. I did aqua this morning in spite of the fact the pool heater was broken and then came home and took my grueling, mostly uphill walk. It felt good and I was happy to see my time was 4 minutes faster than the last time I took that route.

Amy, my clothes had better fit for WDW, I have zero budget for new clothes and zero clothes that fit (since I gave them all away last year when I lost 15 pounds that I proceeded to gain back). I hung my favorite capris on the bathroom door where they will be sure to remind me to behave or wear sweats around WDW in the heat of June.

I will weigh either tomorrow or Saturday, not sure which, if I postpone to Sat. I can go to Zumba in the morning if I desire. Or just walk. We'll see.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Ds just came home from Marine Corp. training and he ran a mile and half in 9 minutes, 12 seconds. He came in first and was pretty excited.

I have no idea how any child of Dan and mine's can run this fast. Its good for him, not long ago he was the skinny kid who everybody picked on. If those kids from 6th grade who bullied him right out of the school could see him now.

I doubt I could ran that fast if I was being chased by a pack of hissing snakes.

And not that it matters or has one thing to do with anythng, but somebody needs to take Charlie Sheen out and drop kick him. He's on the tv as I type and the guy seriously makes me want to gag.

 

[toystoryduo]

Congrats to your DS!!! First place is wonderful!!!!

Great job on your food and workouts this week!

Enjoy watching Beauty and the Beast with your DD this weekend. That is one of my favorite movies of all time!

Have a wonderful, relaxing weekend!

 

[DisDee]

Hi Amy,

We haven't seen you around here in awhile. Try and stop by and let us know how you're doing.

Have a nice week and a lovely Easter!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Denise!

It has been awhile. I don't know why I don't come on more often, I still love WISH, love all my "sisters" but I think I got in a mode where I just felt like my journal was the same old thing, day after day, week after week. I was really feeling for awhile like a failure that I have had so many years, so many attempts at losing weight and nothing but being heavier than ever before to show for it. I just felt like such a failure.

Then about a week ago, I really turned the corner again and began to feel very good about myself. In the end, my journey is long and it will never be over because like an alcohoic with liquor, my food problems and obsession will never go away even if I do lose the weight.

I sort of committed once again to keep going. And I have been doing really well. I weighed last week and was the same, which I was pleased about because normally when I quit WW I gain. But this time I held the weight off and am feeling pretty confident and upbeat about losing weight on my own, sans WW. In the end, its a great program, but I am tired of spending money, and with what I have going in my life (2 Bible Studies, cleaning houses, family obligations, teaching a class at church and working out) I do not really have the time to go to WW unless I give up something else. Right now, WW doesn't feel worth it enough to me to sacrifice something else.

So I am going to weigh at the gym, they have an old fashioned scale (the kidn with the lever you move across yourself) and its going to be new scale of accountablity. I weigh tomorrow, we'll see. I have had a SUPER good week, in spite of it being very stressful.

One of ds' friends who comes from a very dysfunctional family came to stay with us for a few days and in between calling the county sherriff and social services to get this kid safe and some help, I still worked out and did well. And realized how blessed I am. He is back home and I pray his mom and stepdad take advantage of the help and make this work. This boy has one heck of a life and he needs his mom to grow up and see his last year of boyhood through.

I promise to come on tomorrow, update my weight and then visit journals. Right now I have to take dd to dance (will this school year ever end lol).

But I am still here and I am vowing to get back on here more regularly. I just hit that mental "I'm done" roadblock but I found a way back. I know its been years I have been on here, but I am not ready to leave yet! I just still feel in my heard I have the strength to do this!

 

[eyor44]

Hi Amy. Sounds like you have been doing good. I hear you on the hiatas from Wish threads. I'm back too. Or will be after I catch up with you all.

You can do it Amy without WW. If you can go to Olive Garden and have a basket of breadsticks in front of you and not take one bite, you are strong enough to do anything you set your mind to. Plus, WDW in June in sweats....... just sayin'.

You certainly have a busy schedule now. Take care of yourself and keep on going. We are along for the journey with you.



Amy (lovinAZ) good to "see" you and great to have you back. We've missed you.

 

[Amy&Dan]

So today's weigh in was: 239.9. Just under the hair of 240 so another decade that I can hopefully wave good bye to forever.

Since the weigh in at the gym's scale was the exact same as my Wii, I am taking that as my true weight. This puts me at: 13.7 pounds in exactly three months. As usual, this is not as fast as I want but my periods of laziness and lack of motivation do have a way of hindering my progress! In any case, I'll take it.

Goal for this week: Lose 2 pounds, work out five times.

Last week's goal was five times at the gym (I set no weight goal) and I missed that by one.

I went downstairs today for the first time since ds' friend left to go back home, and the now empty room that he left so neat plus he had made the bed up so nice and it just made cry. I really hope he's okay. I waffled all week between wanting him to stay with us until he leaves for the Marines and wanting him back with his mom, but in the end, I just hope the days he spent with us stick with him that there are people in the world that care about him. I did get a call from the county sheriff that they will be keeping an eye on the family. I really hope so, dropping him off to a house that I know full well is not safe let alone loving felt like taking the lamb to the slaughter. I hope this woman at the sheriff's office is right and they will stay on it.

I also want to add that my sister was so great during this thing with ds' friend. She was so concerned not only for him but for us and what we might be getting into. I really can't think of a single time that I had some sort of "event" in my life where she was supportive and helpful. It was really nice. I mentioned the whole thing to both my stepdad and brother but neither of them said much so it was sort of role reversal. In the end, I do really love my sister, she has her moments for sure but this week she was really there for me.

I have mixed feelings for Easter, this was always my mom's favorite holiday, she loved them all but since she had this fetish for bunnies and loved the spring colors, dying the eggs, the whole nine yards. I have gotten into routines with Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays and even Mother's Day but for some reason Easter is always hard. I always did the dinner but now my sister is Jewish so obviously does not celebrate, stepdad has all but left our lives and for some reason this holiday always feels very empty to me now. This is the fourth Easter since my mom died and this year we are going to take the kids to Country Buffet. I figured they'd have some traditonal stuff (dh likes his ham) and it would be the one place guaranteed to fill up my son the bottomless pit! I remember very well five years ago, having my family over (turned out to be the last Easter we were all together over here) and doing a big dinner. It was a lovely day, and after everyone left I went on a walk and ran into a friend/neighbor. She and her daughter were going to Country Buffet and I remember thinking "oh I would hate to eat out on a holiday, how sad". But I know we'll have a fun day, I got the kids each a DVD and a bunch of candy. I am feeling like maybe eating out will be a a good mix of tradition without all the hassle. Maybe all those years ago when I felt sorry for my friend, God decided to teach me that there is nothing sad about any way people choose to celebrate a holiday! We used to eat (as some of you may remember) at Country Buffet most Friday night's with my mom so it will bring back lots of good memories. Dan said he'll miss having her tell us each thing on the buffet as we walk down it (I think she thought we were blind lol)!

I just ate my treat of one Cadbury Egg. I have no idea why those things make me so delirously happy but they do! But I looked online and each one has 170 calories! I will have to make sure I avoid the clearance aisles in the next few weeks, if they are cheap in price that won't mean the calories are reduced as well! Too bad, think how nice it would be if after holidays all the candy was half off with calories just like it is in price.

Happy Easter to all my Wish Sisters!

 

[lovinaz]

You are doing great! LOVE the attitude! I know you can do it without WW. You have all the knowledge and now you have the motivation too.

I like the name Barney for a beagle! Baxter is a little terror - biting everything and driving poor Buckley nuts!

That was very sweet of you to take in DS's friend when he needed it. I know that is something he will always remember. Have you been checking in on him? Bless him…

I'm sorry you are feeling down about Easter this year, but I'm glad to see you are making the best out of it! I'm right there with you in the downer department - Adam's b-day is tomorrow and then Easter the very next day. I can't wrap my head around having an Easter egg hunt with only one "hunter" this year... But life goes on and all we can do is do our best to get through it, right? Hang in there, my friend.

PS - I LOVE Cadbury eggs too! Don't know what it is, they are just so yummy!

 

[Amy&Dan]

I'm sorry you are feeling down about Easter this year, but I'm glad to see you are making the best out of it! I'm right there with you in the downer department - Adam's b-day is tomorrow and then Easter the very next day. I can't wrap my head around having an Easter egg hunt with only one "hunter" this year... But life goes on and all we can do is do our best to get through it, right? Hang in there, my friend.

PS - I LOVE Cadbury eggs too! Don't know what it is, they are just so yummy!

Amy, I was reading back about five years on my old journal and saw an entry you did around this time and noticed you had talked about Adam's birthday. I am thinking about you my friend. I can't even imagine how difficult this weekend will be. Just thinking about you!

Cadbury eggs are weird things and so sweet they make my teeth hurt but they are my faves. Well those and those Reeses peanut butter eggs!

Barney was a great name but he was the mother load of naughty beagles! He was a sweetheart and my mom's last beagle baby, but omg, that dog was the biggest pig and so hyper! So maybe Baxter is the better choice for a name, I'd hate to think there could ever be another Barney! And this new puppy you have totally pays back Buckley!

Ds' friend showed up tonight at his karate and ds said he seemed a little less sad and withdrawn. I am hoping maybe he can come by next week for dinner or something.

 

[toystoryduo]

Oh Amy,

My heart goes out to you, my friend. What a week you've had! Your DS' friend is very blessed to have spent a few days with your family. I'm so sorry he had to go back home. Maybe his mom will wake up and appreciate the gift that he is. In the meantime, maybe you can have your DS invite him over for dinner and such so that you can stay in contact with him and see what's going on in his life. I'm sending lots of hugs and prayers for all of you!

Woohoo for saying goodbye to the 240s!!! You are doing a great job! Keep up the good work!

It sounds like Easter is going to be bittersweet for you and your family. I pray that the wonderful memories that you have of your mom and God's perfect peace will be with you all day long.

Have a blessed Easter, my friend!

 

[toystoryduo]

I'm sorry you are feeling down about Easter this year, but I'm glad to see you are making the best out of it! I'm right there with you in the downer department - Adam's b-day is tomorrow and then Easter the very next day. I can't wrap my head around having an Easter egg hunt with only one "hunter" this year... But life goes on and all we can do is do our best to get through it, right? Hang in there, my friend.

Oh Amy! I am sending a great big and lots of prayers your way, my friend. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this weekend will be for you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, WISH sis.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thank you Tracy.

So yesterday was a total diet disaster. I did well until about 2:00 at which point Dan and I were running errands and decided we needed some chips. So he got two of those big grab sizes of chips and some diet coke and we noshed those down. Then we went to a friend's house for dinner, I had two pieces of pizza (at least it was whole wheat thin crust), some salad, a bunch of chips and salsa and probably three brownies. Oh yeah, I had two beers as well.

Then I came home and drank a bunch of water, none of which has gone out its merry way which means in addition to all the fat and carbs I ate, I also have several thousand mg's of salt in my system. Think I will not weigh today.

Today Dan and I vowed to do well and go for a nice long walk. Tomorrow will be Country Buffet and no doubt I'll rummage through the kids' Easter baskets so that day will not be a well behaved one! So today has to be perfect.

In case I have never mentioned it, weekends are my biggest challenge.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Well the only diet disaster worse than Friday was Saturday followed by Sunday. What a weekend of pigging out. Why, oh why do I do this to myself? And I have to weigh in tomorrow, early this week because my sister and I are doing our own version of the Royal Wedding Party tomorrow night into Friday morning and pizza and cake are on the menu so clearly Friday morning will not be a good day to weigh. Big sigh, I need to find some way to balance all the special and not so special occasions into a healthy eating plan.

The good news is that Monday, Tuesday and today were all picture perfect so I am just hoping to be the same on the scale tomorrow. My goal was two pounds, doubt that happens!

I took a nice long walk outside today, our weather has been so crummy, cold, dreary, snow, hail, rain, wind but today was a bit better and although it was chilly (about 48 and windy) it was still nice to be out. After I did my hour (and I was cranking today) I climbed up the four flights of stairs that lead to the baseball field and had a nice view of the open field behind dd's school, the planes in the distance heading to DIA and some nice cows. It was very peaceful and I suddenly felt very close to God and to my mom and I realized that all I want in life I have except for one thing (think thin lol) and that too can be mine if I just keep working.

Tonight we had friends over, they (two families) are going to WDW in October and its their first trip so I helped them plan their days and we made their ADR's. It was really fun, but sad, originally this was supposed to be all of us going. But when Dan got laid off, we knew we could only do one and picked June. Still a good decision but it was a bit sad to make the plans but know we won't be there. In all reality, I highly doubt we get another Disney trip in for 2012 or 2013, we have a lot of home repairs and improvements that have been put off for far too long. Its going to be hard and I guess you never know, a trip might happen but for now I just intend to focus on June and remember all the memories. We'll get back when the time is right. Or as my grandmother used to say "when the Good Lord is willing and the creek don't rise"!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Ughh, I was up .2

Its times like this, I realize weighing in can actually be detrimental. I know exactly why I am up (three days of non stop eating and carbs last weekend) and in all, I should be happy its not more. But it just really upset me to the point I don't even feel lilke going to the gym today. Which I will not succumb to but still.

I have just got to find a way to be consistent on the weekends. They literally kill me. I can't lose enough weight during the week to keep my monthly averages going like I want because I spend at least three days each week taking off the weekend gain, which leaves me like two days to actually lose.

So far to go and I am back in a decade I had hoped to be done with. Again, I have been in and out of the 240's for over five years.

Okay, time to pick myself and haul my 240.1 self to the gym.

I really hate myself sometimes for being so stupid and self destructive.

 

[toystoryduo]

Sending a your way. Please don't be so hard on yourself! I bet after your workout and a glass of water, that .2 pound gain will disappear!

I hear you on the weekend thing though. I can make good choices during the week when we have a routine, but when we have less structure on weekends, I have a tendency to eat more. We will find a happy medium, Amy. We'll just keep trying!

Have a blessed day, my friend!