Amy's Journal: Comments Welcome!

[Amy&Dan]

Thank you WISH Friends. Today was a very sad day, I had to have my 13 year old beagle, Benjamin put down. He has just been going down hill so much, it wasn't fair to have him suffer. The vet could not believe how much weight he had lost in the last three months he was just skin and bones. He was such a great companion to Dan and me, we will miss him so much. I didn't exercise today, just spent time with Ben before his appt. Now I am off to bed, thanks for the good thoughts I know you will send my way.

Amy, enjoy Buckley, beagles are the best!

 

[toystoryduo]

Oh Amy,

Sweetie, I am so sorry to hear about your Benjamin..... I am praying for you and your family.... May he rest in peace.

If you need to talk, let me know.....

Sending love and prayers your way.

 

[lovinaz]

I am so sorry to hear about Benjamin. This has been a really rough year with your pets. I don't know what I could possibly say to make you feel any better. Just remember all the crazy things he did (and ate!) and know that he is in a better place and is no longer suffering. And when you are ready, think of that new little cutie pie beagle that I know you are going to get eventually!!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Amy and Tracy. I knew you guys would understand and send some much needed TLC my way. Amy, I told Benjamin today just before he went that a big dumster in the sky full of leftovers was waiting for him! It has been a tough year for pets. We are down to one dog, Shelby, our little mutt who is only 4 so hopefully we are through with this gut wrenching crap for awhile.

I did walk tonight. I watced the biggest loser on tv. I hate that show, the way they get voted off just stinks. But it did motiviate me to get down on the treadmill for 45 minutes. If I do 110 minutes total tomorrow I will just make challenge. I am planning on my 60 minute yoga tape and a 50 minute walk. Thats a lot in one day but I am determined that something should go right and I want to make that challenge.

Thanks all and goodnight.

 

[traceycooper]

sending lots of Amy
Its so hard losing a member of your family like that, but you did the right thing & hes no longer in pain!
I just hope your pain eases soon, and it will eventually.
Hope you make that challenge, you have done amazing to get so close whether you make it or not, good luck.

 

[lovinaz]

Amy, I told Benjamin today just before he went that a big dumster in the sky full of leftovers was waiting for him!

Now THAT is truly beagle heaven!!!

Did you make your goal? If not, don't feel bad, you are SUPER close! You have way more exercise minutes than me this month, that's for sure! I might have to sign up for the Dec challenge to get my butt back in gear.

 

[Amy&Dan]

I didn't make goal. I spent the day doing literally 10 plus loads of laundry. Benjamin was having some serious problems those last couple of days, (don't ask) and I had a lot of bedding and towels to wash. I am happy with my 790 minutes. Given the crazy month I had with the kids and me all being sick, plus Ben, I am okay with it all. Tomorrow is a new month.

Today was lousy, I miss my dog and emotionally ate some weird crap in small quantities. I needed to go to the store but didn't feel like leaving the house. TOM also hit for the first time in a couple of months but I guess thats good, it will rid me of some water and be done before WDW. Thanks everyone. I am going to try to go to bed early tonight, I didn't sleep at all last night or the night before and I am beat.

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I'm sorry that the past few days have been so rough. I have been keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

I think you did a fabulous job with exercise this month! Don't forget... you spent hours at your mom's house and did 10 loads of laundry yesterday. All of that extra work counts too! Don't forget to add in your WDW walking as exercise in December!

We're leaving for our trip tomorrow..... I just want to thank you so much for your friendship, Amy. Your support and encouragement means so much to me. I wish that we were able to meet each other in person this year, but maybe we can schedule something for next year. (Once I get back from this trip, I will start planning next December's. ) Please be sure and take good care of you while I am gone and have a wonderful time in WDW!

,
Tracy

 

[CACruisin']

I'm so sorry about Benjamin. I love your "dumpster" heaven and I'm sure Benjamin will too.

Don't worry about the exercise challenge. 790 minutes is still a lot and you should be proud of that. Just keep the big picture in mind. How much exercise did you do November 2005? Glad TOM showed up now. That will make WDW much nicer. Take care.

 

[toystoryduo]

We're headed to WDW today! I hope you and your family have the most magical of vacations!

 

[lovinaz]

I hope you are feeling better about things today! You did awesome with 790 minutes of exercising. You kicked my butt! You'll probably kick my butt again this month at the rate I'm going...

Hang in there, things will get better. Focus on your upcoming trip and what a blast you'll have!

 

[traceycooper]

HI Amy
Hope you got a good nights sleep & are feeling better today
You just need to give yourself time to grieve, so dont beat yourself up about food & other 'stuff' make sure you have 'you' time.
When do you leave for WDW?
Everone on the journals seem to be going away!!
Lucky people

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thank you so much everyone. Well, as Amy M. already knows, I got a puppy. She is a beagle we have named Daisy, she is too young to be away from her mommy just yet so we pick her up the day we get back from WDW. I have some mixed feelings, it feels too soon but the kids are so happy. That will teach me to look at the classifieds when I am depressed. Honestly, I need something sweet, happy, young and to look forward to! I also think it will help my mom. She was very attached to Benamin and came over frequently and always enjoyed him. She loves dogs and she was also attached to our dalmation Lacey that we lost in July. Canine therapy is very helpful for Alzheimers patients. She helped me pick her out from the picture of the litter online. I will always miss my Benjamin but I have very seldom been without a beagle in my life and I dont' want to start now!

These past few days have been stressful and overwhelming. Benjamin's passing obviously, TOM, the holidays, the upcoming trip to WDW and my mom has been having one meltdown after another. My stepdad is about to come unglued and I have been trying very hard to help them both out without losing my sanity. Please keep my mom in your thoughts, she is just regressing big time. She had stablized and now we are downturning. Probably the stress of the holidays getting to her. She has only gotten dressed and out of bed maybe four of the last 10 days. She keeps crying telling me she doens't want me to leave on my trip. The one thing she can always remember is if I am going away!

Food has been spotty. Exercise none until I climbed on the treadmill tonight for 30 minutes. First exercise I have done in almost a week. Today's food was much better as well. I just need to hold it together until we leave then I will likely pig out for the 8 days I am eating the Disney Dining Plan food!

I am sorry I have been MIA from everyone's journals. I promise I will get to them tomorrow! Good news is that I have gotten an incredilble amount done. It needs to get done before I leave because the day I get back I will be in the car most of the day driving down to pick up the puppy (she is at a farm 3.5 hours from my house) and the next day is Chrismtas Eve and my company arrives! This time of year gets me every year. But in all, I have been doing about 100 times better than I usually do.

Thank you again WISH friends, your support is what gets me through!

 

[CACruisin']

Congrats on your new puppy! You reasoning really does make sense. THe puppy will be wonderful for all of you. You really do have so much going on with your mom, holidays, guests, your trip - Wow! Hang in there for just a few more days and then enjoy your vacation at WDW. I'll bet you will do better than you think with the food too.

 

[CJK]

Oh Amy! I'm just catching up with your journal. I'm so sorry to hear about all that is on your plate right now. I'm sending you, your mom & stepdown warm thoughts and prayers. It must be so difficult watching your mom. I'm glad to know you're going to WDW. You need and DESERVE the break. How wonderful that you have a new puppy to look forward to upon your return. They can bring such joy to our lives. Hang in there!! We're all thinking about you and rootin' for you!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hi everyone. My computer has been on the fritz again! A brand new computer I haven't even paid off and it does nothing but give me fits. Dh swears it will work now, where have I had heard that before?

We are ready to bring home our new puppy but also missing Benjamin. How can one 17 pound dog be such a big part of the family. Last night I dreamed he came back, I was bummed to wake up! It is strange to be able to leave food on the coffee table unattended (not for long however) for the first time in 13 years. I wish he was here to eat up some of the junk off my plate I have been eating.

DD is sick right now, I am keeping her home tomorow. This is stressful for her, she struggles in school and doesn't want to get behind. I love the pressure they put on kids. They give them this saga of "please always come to school or we won't get our funding and we will all suffer". Nice. Goodness when I was her age I loved a sick day! Now you'd think she was running the Pentagon by the way she stresses about missing. But I need to get her well before this trip and I told her its not nice to spread her germs.

Food has been not so great. This time of year is so hard! I also have only exercised 30 lousy minutes this month. The good news is that I have gotten so much done. I got the guest room all ready today which entailed 8 loads of bedding/towels laundry and lots of basement cleaning! But that is done, at the very least my family will have a clean place to sleep! I have all but two presents bought and wrapped. And wonder of wonder's I got Dh's aunt's scrapbook done. She asked for one of our cruise for her upcoming birthday and I actually finished it. It looks great if I do say so, I know she'll love it. I am going shopping with my mom (she has been really sick too, I think thats where dd got her crud was from grandma) on Friday and can finish up then. Now I just need to clean the house good and pack! And go over and clean my mom's house good and take them some food for while I am gone. And exercise and eat right. And drink water which I also have not been doing. TOM is finally gone after over a week. Hopefully the salt and chocolate cravings are gone with it!

I am really starting to panic about my food at WDW. I wish I had never let dh talk me into that darn Disney Dining Plan. My goal of course is to be sensible and not eat everything it provides (counterservice with dessert, main meal with app/dessert/main course and a snack?? Lord help me). But I know me and my lack of willpower is killer. I am trying to relfect on the last year and my 30 pounds but if I am honest I spend more time reflecting on what I could have done. Not really more than a pound or two lost if that since June. Unfreakingbelievable. I am ready for this trip and the holidays to be over. I somehow need to keep maintaining another month. So far so good but then again the last week since Ben died has been pretty bad with food at times. And my water consumption stinks plain and simple. Oh and I am not exercising. But I have wrapped about a milliion presents, baked over 14 dozen cookies (all in the freezer wrapped like mummies in foil where it takes too much effort in my freezing garage to get at them). I need to lose this weight in the new year for my health and sanity once and for all! I am just sick of not doing what I know how to do. I must like being fat very much since I have been that way most of the last 30 years. Okay sorry to whine, I just have three solid weeks of eating staring me in the face. I could easily gain 10-12 pounds if I let myself! I just need to keep thinking that nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Or so they say!!

Thanks for reading, I am off to catch up with all of you.

 

[CJK]

While in Disney, walk walk walk! I had 10 days on the dining plan this past fall and only gained 1lb. You CAN do it!! How did I do it? A few things really. The first is that I walk A LOT. I want to see and do as much as I can when I'm there so I don't mind doing a lot of walking. Between my tivas and bodyglide, I was all set! As for food, I made healthier choices wherever possible (ie. shrimp cocktail as an appetizer instead of fried foods), but if there was a food item that I REALLY wanted, I had it. The thing for me was that there was so much food, that I NEVER ate everything on my plate. It wasn't willpower, it was purely because I'd feel sick if I ate another bite. Wolfgang Puck Cafe, for example, had GIGANTIC servings and when I started to feel full, it looked like I barely made a dent. I remember having a counter service lunch at CBR and still feeling full when I went for dinner at Narcoossee's! I just ate what I could and enjoyed every bite.

I want you to enjoy your trip and not worry too much about weightgain. My husband did gain 4lbs, but all 4lbs were gone within 1 week of resuming his regular routine at home. You CAN do it!!

Have a great weekend and enjoy your new puppy when you bring him home.

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Amy
Hope you can post a pic of your new puppy, she sounds cute
Try not to feel too guilty, your not replacing Benjamin, & it sounds like it will help your mom a lot, she is in my thoughts, it must be so hard for you & you are coping amazingly well, i hope life calms down a little for you, you sound so busy!

Dont let worrying about food at wdw spoil your trip, its time for making magical memories, some of my best menories are whilst dining!!!
take care of yourself
Tracey

 

[CACruisin']

So sorry to hear DD is sick. You are absolutely right to keep her home. She needs to get healthy and none of the other kids need to get sick. Our middle school does the same thing with the pressure on the kids about being in school even if they are sick. I hate the guilt/pressure on the kids, as if you don't have enough on your plate already.

Hang in there. It is hard enough to deal with the loss of Benjamin, but on top of that you are getting yourself and your family ready for the holidays, getting your mom ready for the holidays, getting ready for a houseful of guests, getting ready for your birthday AND getting ready for your WDW trip. Girl, you are beyond busy and don't stress the lack of exercise and food lapses. You gotta do what ya gotta do to get through, and then deal with it after the holidays. We will all be here with you. Don't stress about what could have been. Try and focus on what you have accomplished and where you might be now if you hadn't chosen to get healthy this year. You have made tremendous strides in the past year and you will make more tremendous strides in the new year. Enjoy your trip and your time with the family during the holidays. Make sensible choices when you can, but still let yourself have some indulgence too. CJK offers some great tips for surviving the dining plan and you love to walk, so walk, take stairs, let the family take the bus sometimes while you walk back to the resort or wherever. But most of all, enjoy your trip and if that means eating, so be it. You will get back on track in January. Take care and HAVE A GREAT TRIP!!!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thank you so much everyone! I think I got a bit wigged out because I have been so struggling lately with my food and just don't want to add more weight I have to lose! CJK: Your advice is sound and I went to WDW for 10 days back in April and gained only a pound or two. I was not on the Disney Dining plan but we ate plenty (WDW portions are so crazily huge) but with all the walking and swimming I did it worked out fine. My plan is to do as you suggest, get shrimp cocktail for an appetizer (now there's some Chinese torture ) eat what I want but just not finish it all. I may also be doing some meal sharing with dd who at 10 is paying full adult price for full adult meals. We have always shared in the past. We may end up with a few leftover credits but better that than a few leftover pounds! I am also going to bolt the water and use my snack credits for that. I also bought some crystal light packets to add to the nasty water at WDW when I need to refill my bottle.

A good thing. Today is the day my parents are taking us up to my favorite restaurant in the mountains for my birthday. We did this same thing exactly one year ago and that was the day I finally got on the scale for the first time in many months. So on December 8, 2005 my weight was: 254 pounds. OMG. That was a shocker. That night before we left I took all the boxes and crap off my treadmill and walked. I actually ended up losing a few pounds in the next month and then when I joined WW the middle of January was at 246. As of yesterday, my weight is: 221 pounds. So there it is, out there in cyber space for all to see and gasp at. So my loss for 2006 is: 33 pounds. I will take that. First time in many years, maybe ever I actually weigh less than I did the year before. I hopeful to be well under 200 by the time we go to California in June. I had some bumps this year, the usual stress we all have but I managed to lose most of this by June and maintain it more or less the rest of the year. I did gain some on the cruise but took that off. So in all, I feel pretty good! I will not let myself think about the could have's should have's and just be proud for what I did this past 52 weeks. Thank you WISH friends for your support. It got me through several vacations, stresses with friends and family (my mom in particular) and the loss of two beloved dogs. I haven't given in becasue of all of you guys! So thank you, may 2007 be our best year yet here on the WISH !!

So yesterday was our party with friends. My friend Heather hosted bless her heart and we had a ball. It was just the three couples and it was a great evening UNTIL we decided to play twentysomethings and drink shots of rum. OMG can you say "I AM TOO OLD TO BE HUNGOVER!!!" Sicker than a dog all night. My mom will immediately know whats up since she's not that far gone. I can here the "are you hungover?" coming from her tonight just like its 1984 and I came home sloshed and late !

I did 70 minutes on the treadmill yesterday, bringing me to 100 total for the month. I think I will make it easily since I am counting a minimum of 60 minutes per day in WDW. I have also designated myself as Fastpass runner!

Food yesterday (this is not good but posting will cleanse my guilty soul)

Breakfast: Protein shake
Lunch: Half a grilled cheese/turkey sandwich, ff's (half) and a diet coke
Dinner: 6 Little Smokies, 4 crackers with cheeseball spread, veggies with dip (I brought those and think dd and I were the only ones that ate them), Queso and chips, 3 chicken tenders with sweet and sour sauce, one iced sugar cookie, 3 Coors Lights and 5 shots of vanilla rum. Didn't manage to hang onto any of this. Told the kids I have the flu they just laughed at me, little twerps. I will never drink again and queso will never been seen or heard from in this house again!


Thanks again, off to read and catch up with Wish journals.

Oh and one sweet incredilbe thing to share. My brother gave me and Dan a $250 Disney gift card to take on our trip to thank us for taking care of my mom. How incredible is that? I have no doubt I can find some good use for it very soon!