TupperMom7
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2004
- Messages
- 1,317
Let me give you some history first. My son did not begin to speak until the summer before he turned 3, so he was 2 3/4 years when he began to speak.
He understood everything we said to him, but would not talk. He knew a few words but even those were not pronounced correctly. Even though he began to speak, his pediatrician said he should be evaluated. So we took him for an evaluation of his small and gross motor skills and I think at the time they checked his hearing. His hearing was fine. He did need help in all other areas though. He attended preschool, so the therapists all went there. He received speech, occupational and physical therapy up until about 2nd grade and then they dropped the physical therapy because they said it was just a matter of lack of coordination, not gross motor skills. In retrospect, he probably should have kept up with the physical therapy because to this day he cannot catch well.
This was our first and only child with a disability. Our first child was advanced for her age, talked at 9 months, began to read at age 2 and knew how to write her name when she was 3 - so having the next child have all kinds of problems was new to us. I don't think I totally grasped that this was him, that it was not something that I could cure, until he was in the upper grades. So all through school, he had assistance from therapists of one kind or another. His IEP had him as speech impaired. The school tried to label him with one disorder or another. They thought he had epilepsy in kindergarden and was going into a seizure of some kind when he stared out the window! Not. They thought he had something wrong with his eyes and needed glass because he answered questions on one side of the page, but not the other. Not. They thought he had ADD (attention defiicit disorder without hyperactivity) Not. After doing some research on the computer, I thought perhaps he had CAPD (central auditory processing disorder). That's where he can hear, but does not hear words the same way we do so may not follow instructions correctly. Like what he hears gets lost between his eardrum and his brain. We took him for testing and they said that we were correct and that is what he had. Anyway, his IEP went that way for a while. Then the school asked if they could change his IEP to "learning disabled". They said they could get him more assistance that way, so we agreed. He was able to take longer with tests, had a personal teaching assistant, things like that. He made it through high school and graduated. The last two years in high school he attended Vocational school too. Then after graduating from high school, he attended a training school for culinary arts and graduated from there.
Now here we are. He's 20 years old and I'm at a loss as to what to do next. We have contacted the disability people for our state and they are supposed to be helping him find a job. That's been going on for almost a year. The people from the training school were supposed to help with job placement, they even guarantee it, but nothing has come of it. They found him one job where he would have to ride the bus to get there and change buses three times. There was also no bus back home, so we'd have to drive 45 minutes to pick him up. That job did not work out. He has applied at several places on his own, and had some interviews, but was not hired. He met last week with a new job developer so we'll see what happens there.
My question (finally, right!) is this. My sister seems to think that my son could have Aspergers. Her daughter's boyfriend has a son who has this, and one of my sister's grandchildren has it, so she thinks my son may have it because he has some of the symptoms. I am not so sure and don't know what having him labeled with this would do for him at this point. He won't get any assistance at a school if he has Aspergers. I don't know if he would qualify for social security disablility or anything like that. The job market is slow right now as it is, so I'm sure employers have their pick of the crop for employees and would not willingly take on someone who would need redirection all day long if they didn't have to. Do you think I should take him for an evaluation? I'm not sure I can afford one - he's not on our insurance anymore since he is no longer a student. My sister seems to think we could claim him as a dependent on our taxes too if he is declared disabled. Right now he is listed as learning disabled, but that's pretty broad.
Did I wait too long to get a more definite diagnosis? Am I too late?
Should I make the attempt to get him diagnosed and how will I pay for it?
Thank you for reading this if you've made it this far!
He understood everything we said to him, but would not talk. He knew a few words but even those were not pronounced correctly. Even though he began to speak, his pediatrician said he should be evaluated. So we took him for an evaluation of his small and gross motor skills and I think at the time they checked his hearing. His hearing was fine. He did need help in all other areas though. He attended preschool, so the therapists all went there. He received speech, occupational and physical therapy up until about 2nd grade and then they dropped the physical therapy because they said it was just a matter of lack of coordination, not gross motor skills. In retrospect, he probably should have kept up with the physical therapy because to this day he cannot catch well.
This was our first and only child with a disability. Our first child was advanced for her age, talked at 9 months, began to read at age 2 and knew how to write her name when she was 3 - so having the next child have all kinds of problems was new to us. I don't think I totally grasped that this was him, that it was not something that I could cure, until he was in the upper grades. So all through school, he had assistance from therapists of one kind or another. His IEP had him as speech impaired. The school tried to label him with one disorder or another. They thought he had epilepsy in kindergarden and was going into a seizure of some kind when he stared out the window! Not. They thought he had something wrong with his eyes and needed glass because he answered questions on one side of the page, but not the other. Not. They thought he had ADD (attention defiicit disorder without hyperactivity) Not. After doing some research on the computer, I thought perhaps he had CAPD (central auditory processing disorder). That's where he can hear, but does not hear words the same way we do so may not follow instructions correctly. Like what he hears gets lost between his eardrum and his brain. We took him for testing and they said that we were correct and that is what he had. Anyway, his IEP went that way for a while. Then the school asked if they could change his IEP to "learning disabled". They said they could get him more assistance that way, so we agreed. He was able to take longer with tests, had a personal teaching assistant, things like that. He made it through high school and graduated. The last two years in high school he attended Vocational school too. Then after graduating from high school, he attended a training school for culinary arts and graduated from there.
Now here we are. He's 20 years old and I'm at a loss as to what to do next. We have contacted the disability people for our state and they are supposed to be helping him find a job. That's been going on for almost a year. The people from the training school were supposed to help with job placement, they even guarantee it, but nothing has come of it. They found him one job where he would have to ride the bus to get there and change buses three times. There was also no bus back home, so we'd have to drive 45 minutes to pick him up. That job did not work out. He has applied at several places on his own, and had some interviews, but was not hired. He met last week with a new job developer so we'll see what happens there.
My question (finally, right!) is this. My sister seems to think that my son could have Aspergers. Her daughter's boyfriend has a son who has this, and one of my sister's grandchildren has it, so she thinks my son may have it because he has some of the symptoms. I am not so sure and don't know what having him labeled with this would do for him at this point. He won't get any assistance at a school if he has Aspergers. I don't know if he would qualify for social security disablility or anything like that. The job market is slow right now as it is, so I'm sure employers have their pick of the crop for employees and would not willingly take on someone who would need redirection all day long if they didn't have to. Do you think I should take him for an evaluation? I'm not sure I can afford one - he's not on our insurance anymore since he is no longer a student. My sister seems to think we could claim him as a dependent on our taxes too if he is declared disabled. Right now he is listed as learning disabled, but that's pretty broad.
Did I wait too long to get a more definite diagnosis? Am I too late?
Should I make the attempt to get him diagnosed and how will I pay for it?
Thank you for reading this if you've made it this far!
