noodleknitter said:
My goodness. Interesting idea. So all of the families (whether 1 or 2 income families) unable to afford or unwilling to put forth the ridiculous prices of these activities are depriving their children? Frankly any kid who is too spoiled to live a happy life without cheerleading, dance etc., is pretty sad. What a spoiled brat. One doesn't have to live extravagantly to live well, IMO. I see those spending so much to be just another sign of one generation living out their issues through their children's lives.
"My mom wouldn't let me take ballet and horseback, so my daughter will do both, and throw in soccer and piano...because I wish I could play those too."
I think kids should know when people are making sacrifices for them. (Not a continual martydom) Our kids know that life is not a free ride. 3 kids in college means weekend day trips this year, rather than weeklong Disney trips. That is a sacrifice, and one well worth making. How will kids learn that they too will be making those choices when they are adults?
You are certainly entitled to your opinions, but I find it very strange that you would respond with such animosity to my post.
There is a big difference between "living thru your children" and supporting their passions. My dd does not have a choice to not be active...I do require that of her, but the classes she takes are her interests, not mine. I would be just as happy to be a soccer mom...if that is what she chooses to do.
And to imply that my kid, or any other kid who lives for her interests is spoiled, is totally inappropriate.
On the part of sacrifice, we will just have to agree to disagree. How much money my family has or does not have is something my dd should not have to hear about. She is a child, and can do NOTHING about it. She has no concept of how much money we have or do not have, and I plan to keep it that way as long as possible.
Children can see and recognize that parents make sacrifices for them without having to remind them of it. I certainly would've respected those made by my mom if she had not reminded me of it every time I needed money for something. I used to feel so badly for being a "burden" to her, that I wouldn't tell her when I had a cavity because I didn't want her to stress about how to pay for it. For two years in elementary school, I would throw the health check notices away. Trust me....I was too well aware of how much we "didn't have".
Childhood is about "possibility". It is a time for activity, exploration and discovery. How can a girl dream of becoming a dancer if she is not allowed try her hand at it? Finding out who you are is often by way of finding out who you are not. I do see a parent's job as providing their children the opportunity to experience things. And, that is the way I choose to parent. These beliefs would not change whether I was a SAHM or a working one...I would do whatever I can to provide opportunities for my child.
And, as far as answering your question of "How will kids learn that they too will be making those choices when they are adults?" That is an easy answer....children learn by example. We all know that the best way to foster reading in young children is not to require a certain number of minutes reading per day, but rather to read to them, with them, and also spend time letting your children see YOU read. Have books that you love available in the home, and discuss some of your favorite stories. If they see that reading is something you love to do, they are more likely to read themselves.
The best way to teach children that family is a BIG deal, is to make family your first priority....whether you work in the home or out. The best way to make sure that your children know that children should be presented with lots of opportunities, is to provide lots of opportunities for your children. Just the wonderful memories of all the activities a child participated in is enough to make them want the same for their children.
The best way to encourage your child to be loving and supportive of their children, is to be loving and supportive of them. Trust me, they SEE the sacrifices. I don't buy a lot of clothes for myself. I often pick them out, and later put them back. I didn't think my dd noticed this at all. Seriously, I am a SAHM mom...I don't need a lot of clothes...it's not that big of deal to me...something cute will catch my eye, and then I will think better of it.
My dd needed new gymnastics clothes the other day (her torso is getting LONG), so we went to a dance studio to buy them. The sales girl made a comment to my dd about how "lucky she was" to be getting so many clothes. My dd acted shy and didn't say anything. My plan was to leave the studio and go to Toys r Us to buy her a new "floaty" swimsuit, as her other one was giving her a serious wedgy. My dd was very quiet, and when we pulled into the parking lot she finally said, "Mom, don't worry about buying me a swimsuit....really, Mom my other one is fine." I was FLOORED. I told her that her other one was NOT fine, and asked why she didn't want to buy one. She said, "You just spent all this money on me, but you put the clothes you wanted back the other day. I am really lucky, Mom. I don't need a new swimsuit...my old one is fine." I immediately called my dh, and was crying as I told him the story. Trust me....kids see
, I recognize, though, that raising kids to go out into the world and make a positive contribution, not just take up space on our increasingly overburdened planet, takes work, forethought, planning, and a he** of a lot of dedication, every day. 
