Am I reading too much into this?

[Jennasis]

I'll keep it simple. The father of one of my students called me yesterday...on my cell phone. I do not know how he got my cell phone number. NObody ever calls my cell phone. Anyway, he called because he wanted to discuss his child's progress and possibility for advancement...over coffee. It was the invitation to meet him for coffe that struck me as odd.

There really isn't more to this story. No previous flirtation or gestures in either direction. Is he (a married man) hitting on me (a married woman and he knows it). Or am I being a bit paranoid? I totally do not feel comfortable meeting him "for coffee" or anywhere else. If he'd like to schedule a meeting with me at the barn (I'm his kid's riding instructor) or over the phone, that would be appropriate.

We also recently had to "fire" a company that routinely delivered stuff to our farm because the owner/driver (a man in his upper 60's) had TWICE touched me in an inappropriate way and I am uncomfortable being alone with him should he show up to deliver stuff when DH isn't home. That story is long and bizarre and everyone who I've told it to is 100% with me that creepy guy had to go.

So am I a paranoid loon now, or was dad's invite a bit off?

 

[Blondie]

I definitely wouldn't meet him off of school grounds. Sounds like he's trying to influence you.

 

[DisneyGirl]

I'd be a little paranoid too-- especially since he got your cell phone number, and you don't know how... try googling your name/ where you work and see if it comes up somehow. If not, then he obviously had to "dig" for it (ask around, etc.), which would make even MORE suspicious, since he could have just met you at the barn before or after one of his child's lessons.

Being that his child is your student, I would tell him that you would agree to meet him at the barn, perhaps near one of the child's lessons, and make sure there are others around at the time you meet (not necessarily within earshot). If he pushes the coffee, tell him ok, but you have to find a time when your husband can come along (if he means anything untoward, he'll probably have an awkward reaction to that-- if he doesn't, he should have no problem with your husband there )

 

[Beth76]

I wouldn't necessarily read anything into it. You don't have a classroom or an office to meet in, so perhaps he just thought this would be more comfortable than the barn. But if you're not comfortable with it then absolutely just suggest meeting at the barn when he drops his child off or something.

 

[goofinoff]

I would tell him that you would be happy to discuss his childs progress with him AND his wife at a meeting. It is extremely inappropriate for a parent to call your personal cell phone. I would also ask him how he got your number and tell him that you would appreciate it if he does not call you on it again.
That's crazy!

 

[Tazicket]

I'd be a little paranoid too-- especially since he got your cell phone number, and you don't know how... try googling your name/ where you work and see if it comes up somehow. If not, then he obviously had to "dig" for it (ask around, etc.), which would make even MORE suspicious, since he could have just met you at the barn before or after one of his child's lessons.

Being that his child is your student, I would tell him that you would agree to meet him at the barn, perhaps near one of the child's lessons, and make sure there are others around at the time you meet (not necessarily within earshot). If he pushes the coffee, tell him ok, but you have to find a time when your husband can come along (if he means anything untoward, he'll probably have an awkward reaction to that-- if he doesn't, he should have no problem with your husband there )

I totally agree!

 

[helenabear]

I wouldn't necessarily read anything into it. You don't have a classroom or an office to meet in, so perhaps he just thought this would be more comfortable than the barn. But if you're not comfortable with it then absolutely just suggest meeting at the barn when he drops his child off or something.

ITA!

Being that this isn't a place with a classroom or the like, it sounds like he just thought that coffee was a safe thing to do. I mean I go get coffee with friends all the time. It's just a safe public place that is a very relaxed atmosphere.

I guess I wouldn't have read into it at all. I know you work with the barn, but I would feel safer in a coffee shop than I would in a barn. JMO

 

[lulugirl]

He wants you.

 

[C.Ann]

Well - call me paranoid, but calling you on your cell phone - and wanting to discuss this issue "over coffee" sounds odd to me.. I would make other arrangements and politely inform him that you do not accept these kinds of calls on your personal cell phone..

 

[mickeyboat]

I think you may be reading too much into his motives. He probably thought a coffee shop would be a nice, comfortable, public opportunity to talk to you, and to get to know you better, and to be able to talk to you one on one about his child without having other parents/children/duties to attend to.

However, if you are uncomfortable, and I don't blame you for feeling that way, schedule it at the barn, but make sure he knows that you are blocking that time off for him to discuss his child.

Denae

 

[Jennasis]

His wife is the one who brings the kid and does the "barn mom" stuff. I think I've met him about 3-4 times. He seems like a nice guy and a great dad. I'm actually quite surprised that HE wants the meeting and not his wife, since she's the one involved at the barn. The Mom has never called my cell phone before, but now that I think of it, she may have it on hand from back over the summer when the kid was here almost everyday hanging out and helping me around the farm.

I think I'll call him back and see what exactly he wants regarding his kid. The meeting outside of the barn, ain't gonna happen. Frankly I'm lucky to get time to run into town to go to the bank, so I just don't see this as a viable way to meet.

 

[All American]

Wait, I have to change my response because I think I missed something.

I thought you were a school teacher AND the riding instructor. Either way, I would say it's a little odd. My siblings and I grew up riding horses, and my mom did the "barn mom" stuff. My dad (he knew the family very well) would never have called the instructor on her cell to discuss horse stuff especially "over coffee."

How well do you know the mom? Is it possible she asked the husband to call? I say sure meet with him AND the wife. Like somene mentioned earlier, if his intentions are not good, he'll shy away from the situation if you invite someone along.

 

[WIcruizer]

Well now you HAVE to go, because we need to know!!!!!!!!!!! It's a public place, you're safe. Agree to meet and see what happens!

 

[budbeerlady]

His wife is the one who brings the kid and does the "barn mom" stuff. I think I've met him about 3-4 times. He seems like a nice guy and a great dad. I'm actually quite surprised that HE wants the meeting and not his wife, since she's the one involved at the barn. .

That is the wierd part. I always bring my dd to her lessons at the barn, my Dh would never think to call or even meet to talk about how DD is doing. If he wants to know how it went he asks DD and I. If the mom is doing all the leg work why wouldnt she call, or say something in the barn when the kid is off getting blankets or maybe bringing in the horse. I know I have talked with DD's instructer that way with out DD knowing about it.

I (being the person that I am who isnt always very nice) would say to the mom next time she picks up dd that " I know your husband wanted to talk more about your childs lessons and advancement. Why dont you let me know when I could meet you both at the barn here." That way she knows he contacted you. It can be totally innocent but I find it odd that the mom didnt talk to you instead of the dad.

 

[Jennasis]

Wlcruizer: HAHAHA!!! You so funny.... I think I'll stick with the meet-me-at-the-barn-when-DH-is-home solution, though. Not as entertaining an outcome for you guys, but a little less freaky for me.

 

[horseshowmom]

Frankly I'm lucky to get time to run into town to go to the bank, so I just don't see this as a viable way to meet.

And there's your response to him...

His contacting you could mean absolutely nothing or something. You have no way of knowing, but that gives you an out and means you don't have to worry about it.

Plus, make sure there are others around during the meeting time (just in case).

 

[mickeyfan2]

Why would he want your input on his child? Seems fishy to me. Tell him to discuss the child with his wife.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

No, I don't think you're overreacting at all. Listen to your gut! This is just weird. I'd tell him straight up that you think that it would be inappropriate to meet him for coffee. I'd also ask where he got your cell phone #, since you don't give it out.

FWIW, someone harrassed my sister on her cellphone, and we figured out quickly that the number came up in a google search of my sister's name. It was listed next to her name under some professional association webpage. Try googling your name and see if it comes up that way.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

ITA!

Being that this isn't a place with a classroom or the like, it sounds like he just thought that coffee was a safe thing to do. I mean I go get coffee with friends all the time. It's just a safe public place that is a very relaxed atmosphere.

I guess I wouldn't have read into it at all. I know you work with the barn, but I would feel safer in a coffee shop than I would in a barn. JMO

i agree with this!!

 

[RadioNate]

could it be that there is a problem and the mother is scared/embarrased to bring it up so she had the husband call? Maybe they feel the child isn't progressing quickly enough or you aren't advancing her as quickly as they would like but the mom doesn't want confrontation.

Just playing devils advocate about one of the reasons I ask my DH do something even if I'm the parent that normally handles the activity.