Am I overreacting?

[Ohiodislover]

My DD (15) was invited to a party by a friend this evening. I know all the parents of the host as well as most of the other kids there. My husband and I made plans to go out to eat and do errands since our other DD was at one of her friends.

Anyway, my DD calls me after about an hour from home, and tells me her friend forgot about the party, but they were on the way to get her. They got to the party an hour late. Then the mother of the other girl drops them off, and tells them to find a way home. My DD texts me, and lets me know this and asks us to pick her up around 10. OK sure, we will be there. Change of plans, go eat something quick and close.

I would have had NO PROBLEM with picking up the girls IF that were the plan, however please don't drop my kid off at a party, and just say figure it out, knowing that I am not home. DH is saying I'm over-reacting, but I would really like to say something to this mother.

Should I just let it roll off?

I am just really glad my DD knows to text/call if something isn't right, rather than making a stupid mistake and riding in a car with who-ever.

 

[Jennasis]

I'd be annoyed, but it isn't worth a confrontation of any kind over. Just mark this mom as "unreliable" in your book.

 

[Praying Colonel]

i'd be annoyed, but it isn't worth a confrontation of any kind over. Just mark this mom as "unreliable" in your book.

+1

 

[minkydog]

I don't think you're overreacting. I think that mom was a flake and I wouldn't be depending on her again. Is she a friend or just an acquaintance? If it's a friend I would bring it up. If not, just chalk it up to experience and avoid her like the plague. She obviously is clueless.

 

[Art 1]

i'd be annoyed, but it isn't worth a confrontation of any kind over. Just mark this mom as "unreliable" in your book.

+2.

 

[Disneycrazy!!]

What kind of mother drops their kid off at a party and tells them to find their own way home??? WTH?? I would also let it drop and write her off in my book, she obviously doesn't see anything wrong with what she did.

 

[Magic Mom]

I'd be annoyed, but it isn't worth a confrontation of any kind over. Just mark this mom as "unreliable" in your book.

I agree, but, I've learned with my teen that just because a parent drops off, I can't assume that they are picking up too. When DS asked to go somehwere with another parent driving, I always confirmed ahead of time exactly how he was getting home. Most of the time it workout that one parent dropped off and the other picked up. I think that's more than fair.

 

[java]

As the mom of a 16 year old I have learned that take what is said to you with a grain of salt.

For all you know the mother could have been told "Oh yes my mom will give us a ride home" Then she offered the ride there.

Generally around here it's one parents job to take another's to bring home.

So while on the surface it appears she's a flake- it could be lack of info from dd. She might have thought you would say no if she thought you had to drive home.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Well I am with you. They get dropped off and told basically to fend for themselves! Well BRAVO to your daughter for giving you the heads up. You did good Mom! She was not afraid to let you know of the "mess up" situation...
I was in a similar situation with my own child who was supposed to be picked up (I was not to be home) and the kid got upset over something (unrelated to my kid) and decided to call his parents to get picked up early without letting my kid know and fortunately for us, we were able to arrange to go and get him...mind you he was about 20 minutes away, not around the block....kids may make that mistake, but the parent just left my child behind WTH!
I was really angry....of course did not take it out on my kid but did lay down the law that we would not pick up or take that particular kid to anything, ever.....and we have not...
So glad my kid had a cell as he had no cash on him (another lesson learned) and it really could have been awful as it was fairly late in the evening...Sorry I digress...

So, Yeah, I'd be annoyed but prob would not say anything to the other parent...instead would have "new rules" for when your daughter "has to rely" on that other parent, Like you better be home/available or she can't go out with that other girl.....shame......but better safe than sorry. Again, Good for your daughter to call you than get in someones car

 

[PrincessTiffany]

I'd be annoyed, but it isn't worth a confrontation of any kind over. Just mark this mom as "unreliable" in your book.

+3

Who drops off their kid at a party and says find a ride home? Really?

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I'd be annoyed, but it isn't worth a confrontation of any kind over. Just mark this mom as "unreliable" in your book.

I agree too. I have learned over the years though to make arrangements with the parent and not to rely on what the kids say. Most of the time that will insure that everything will be done as planned.

 

[We_Love_Disney]

Not so much overreacting. I would be annoyed, for sure. I do wonder as a PP indicated what the 'real deal' is, did someone offer their parent and didn't tell them, or along those lines?

DD's friends were great for doing things like that a few years ago. Now they have the ability to drive themselves. Surprisingly though, so many still forget to talk to their parents ahead of time. Then they are upset when they can't do something - duh!

Its all a learning curve, for parent and child.

 

[Mimi1965]

I'd be annoyed, but it isn't worth a confrontation of any kind over. Just mark this mom as "unreliable" in your book.

+4




I saw others doing this-so I am too

 

[MELSMICE]

I'd be annoyed, but it isn't worth a confrontation of any kind over. Just mark this mom as "unreliable" in your book.

Add me to this group..........+5

 

[pennymom]

I'd be annoyed, but it isn't worth a confrontation of any kind over. Just mark this mom as "unreliable" in your book.

And me...+6

 

[kacaju]

due to the fact that the other girl *forgot* about the party and they went ahead and picked up your dd an hour late, I am gonig to assume the other Mom was not completely informed of this party and was not expecting to drive both ways. BTDT... I now make sure my girls ask who is driving and who is picking up before they leave the house.

 

[rie'smom]

As the mom of a 16 year old I have learned that take what is said to you with a grain of salt.

For all you know the mother could have been told "Oh yes my mom will give us a ride home" Then she offered the ride there.

Generally around here it's one parents job to take another's to bring home.

So while on the surface it appears she's a flake- it could be lack of info from dd. She might have thought you would say no if she thought you had to drive home.

I agree.
If I started counting how many times I was told that if I brought my daughter and her friends to a party another parent would bring them home I'd be here all night. Or the mom might have been told you would bring them and she's hacked off because she was informed at the last minute that she was to bring them. Annoying as hell but it happens.

 

[krcit]

due to the fact that the other girl *forgot* about the party and they went ahead and picked up your dd an hour late, I am gonig to assume the other Mom was not completely informed of this party and was not expecting to drive both ways. BTDT... I now make sure my girls ask who is driving and who is picking up before they leave the house.

 

[allison443]

due to the fact that the other girl *forgot* about the party and they went ahead and picked up your dd an hour late, I am gonig to assume the other Mom was not completely informed of this party and was not expecting to drive both ways. BTDT... I now make sure my girls ask who is driving and who is picking up before they leave the house.

This is what I thought. If the kid "forgot" about the party, maybe she never told her mom and her mom never agreed to drive both ways? OP who told you the mom was driving both ways? You're also assuming the mom knew you weren't home. Even if you weren't home when she picked up dd, how would she know you wouldn't be home in time to do the pickup?

Usually with my teens one kid's parent would drive and the other would pick up. I think that's fair.

I would just tell dd you like things to be arranged in advance definitely, and she needs to be certain of the plans.

 

[Hannathy]

This is what I thought. If the kid "forgot" about the party, maybe she never told her mom and her mom never agreed to drive both ways? OP who told you the mom was driving both ways? You're also assuming the mom knew you weren't home. Even if you weren't home when she picked up dd, how would she know you wouldn't be home in time to do the pickup?

Usually with my teens one kid's parent would drive and the other would pick up. I think that's fair.

I would just tell dd you like things to be arranged in advance definitely, and she needs to be certain of the plans.

I vote for this one. You will find as they get older you don't know what the other parents are doing (other than where the party is) and the teens don't always communicate well. There is also a lot of assuming between kids.

ALSO as the kids start driving and it is a mix between those still needing rides and those driving often kids will get a ride there and FIND a ride home. WE did it a lot in my DD's group. Why should I go out at midnight if it turns out J is there and he lives 2 streets away and can bring her home?
They don't pre-arrange everything like you do when they are 13.
Usually the standard is call if there is no one there to bring you home.

I certainly wouldn't call the other Mom not with a 15 yr old!!!!