Am I just being a grump? Would you attend this fundraiser?

ekatiel

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Jul 5, 2008
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Our preschool holds a yearly spaghetti dinner fundraiser. Last year, it was to raise money for a shade for the playground. The dinner is "donation only", so last year I went and shelled out a lot of cash (I think I ended up giving $20 per adult and $10 per kid) for the dinner. Well, they said they got enough money for the shades, but they have never been completely installed-- they have the pipes up, but no covers. So, it's time for the dinner again. The preschool is wonderful, and they do a good job with both my boys. They are great with DS#1's food allergies, etc. BUT, we never got the shade from last year, am I just being grumpy not wanting to go?? Also, just two weeks ago, we were asked for $$ for the St. Jude's trikeathon (PLUS I had to pruchase a bike helmet for my three year old's tricycle), and this week, we had to send in $$ for gift baskets that will be auctioned off at the dinner. I'm just feeling drained of cash, and not so into attending an event with bad spaghetti (where I will have to make DS spaghetti before we leave and bring it with us b/c of his food allergies) and paying way too much for it. Should I suck it up and go?? --Katie
 
In my opinion, it is not about the taste of the food good or bad. it is about the participation. It shows your Boys you care about community events.

As far as the shades maybe there was a manufacturor delay. I would politely ask.
 
You sound like you have legitimate complaints to me!!! It would bother me too!!!
 
I personally have a problem with a for profit business having a fundraiser. So I would have no problem with not going. If it is a non profit then I would go.
 

Have you asked about what happened with the installation of the shades? I know that I tend to be a little pushy sometimes, and I certainly would have asked about it by now. Maybe just a question to the organizer of this years event: "what will the funds raised this year be used for? I see that last years project never was completed, whats up with that?"

I would base my participation on what the answer is. And then I would probably go, but I wouldn't donate that much again...maybe I'd donate like $25 for the whole family.

And I too dislike 'fundraisers' for for-profit businesses. My daughters dance studio (a big cash cow), does a 'fund raiser' every year where the kids can sell a box of candybars (60@ $1. each) and for each box of candy the student sells, she gets a $10 credit towards her costumes...LOL what a joke...the rest of the money is profit for the studio (I know that the particular fundraising company they use pays the studio $30 for each box of candy sold). Yeah, I'm not participating in THAT.
 
I would not go. As you pointed out, last year funds were raised for shade protection on the playground but it has yet to be installed. No way, would I go and fork over more money that most likely will not be used as intended.

I would also let the director of the preschool know why we would not be going. This information might help grease the wheels and get the shades up.

When my own kids were in preschool, I did not participate in the fundraising since the preschool was a for profit agency. I just think the preschool is being greedy in that respect and was trying to use my family, especially the kids to sell candy, wrapping paper, etc.
 
Our preschool holds a yearly spaghetti dinner fundraiser. Last year, it was to raise money for a shade for the playground. The dinner is "donation only", so last year I went and shelled out a lot of cash (I think I ended up giving $20 per adult and $10 per kid) for the dinner. Well, they said they got enough money for the shades, but they have never been completely installed-- they have the pipes up, but no covers. So, it's time for the dinner again. The preschool is wonderful, and they do a good job with both my boys. They are great with DS#1's food allergies, etc. BUT, we never got the shade from last year, am I just being grumpy not wanting to go?? Also, just two weeks ago, we were asked for $$ for the St. Jude's trikeathon (PLUS I had to pruchase a bike helmet for my three year old's tricycle), and this week, we had to send in $$ for gift baskets that will be auctioned off at the dinner. I'm just feeling drained of cash, and not so into attending an event with bad spaghetti (where I will have to make DS spaghetti before we leave and bring it with us b/c of his food allergies) and paying way too much for it. Should I suck it up and go?? --Katie

I would ask about the screen and attend the dinner.
 
I would ask about the shade and attend the dinner.
My son loved participating in these sorts of functions and would have felt left out if everyone was talking about the dinner and he was not attending.

Good luck.
 
I also would not go. A) I am assuming this is a for profit preschool. The tuition you and other parents pay should be going towards equipment improvements. Its part of the cost of doing business. B) No follow thru on last year's promise. Why should you give more of your hard earned money to a fundraiser that doesn't do what it was intended to do?

I also would let the director/principal know why you are not going and participating. I would also be sure to give them praise where praise is due, as you seem to be happy with the level of care your children are receiving. You are their customer, they should be seeking to make you happy and keep you happy.
 
I would not attend if this is a for profit program. I expect my fees to pay for improvements to the facility. I would also be asking what happened to finishing the shade that was to be provided from the previous fund raiser.
 
Don't feel like the success of each fundraiser is up to you. As long as you feel you are supporting the efforts of the school, then you should have peace of mind when you decline to attend.
 
As PP have said, if this is a for profit preschool than no, I would not donate or attend. And I think this is a perfectly good opportunity to ask about last year's shade.

I would have done the Trike-a-athon-it's for a good cause. I would have not donated to the gift baskets for the spaghetti dinner.
 
It's a church-based preschool, so it's a non-profit. I think if they talk it up a lot at school, and the boys really want to go, we'll go. We've got a lot on our plate right now (we're moving :scared1:), so if the boys aren't that interested we'll just stay home. I'm too much of a chicken to ask about the shade :sad2:-- I'm just not sure how I could phrase it without sounding like I wanted to know what happened to all the money that was donated at last year's event (which IS really what I want to know ;)). Thanks for the input, guys. --Katie
 
Is this a private preschool? My DD's preschool has a no fundraising policy. They only thing they do is collect food for a local food pantry and toiletries to make Mom's gift bags at Christmas for women in shelters. (EDIT- just saw your last reply!)

I would ask about the shades. Honestly if you don't like the answer, then don't go. I would be bothered by asking to contribute to a basket and then attend a dinner at a private school, especially when last year's fund raiser project was not completed and is no way benefiting the students a year later. I think the only exception is raising money for scholarships for kids who would not be able to attend a private school due to financial reasons.
 
If you don't want to go, but want to show support for the school, offer to put together the gift baskets with the items that are donated, if you have the time. A few extra hours for the school might go a long way. I work in a daycare and teachers often are told little to nothing about where the money is going, so ask the Director or Assistant Director about the shades
 
The preschool is wonderful, and they do a good job with both my boys. They are great with DS#1's food allergies, etc. Should I suck it up and go?? --Katie

I say, yes, you should. Sorry you have a lot on your plate right now, but I suggest that you go and show your support.
 
hrm here is what I would do. If you don't want to go and you donated an item already you can bow out if you want and just inform them you have preexisting plans. Or if you want to go but you have to cook for son because of food allergies I don't think you should have to pay full price for him to attend maybe ask if since he won't be eating you can pay half price for participation or would they be willing to cook to accommodate his allergies then you pay full price. I mean its not a wedding its a fundraiser don't feel bad. I honestly feel very strongly about volunteering and donating within my community but I dont' like anyone who tries to make me feel like I have to go or have to give because it takes away the good feeling about doing it. You could always do a spaghetti movie night at home and just give them a donation amount of your choice and not go if you feel obligated to do so.

For me If i felt it was a chore and my family and I would not enjoy it I wouldn't do it. I would offer to do something else that would suit me and my family.
 
It's a church-based preschool, so it's a non-profit. I think if they talk it up a lot at school, and the boys really want to go, we'll go. We've got a lot on our plate right now (we're moving :scared1:), so if the boys aren't that interested we'll just stay home. I'm too much of a chicken to ask about the shade :sad2:-- I'm just not sure how I could phrase it without sounding like I wanted to know what happened to all the money that was donated at last year's event (which IS really what I want to know ;)). Thanks for the input, guys. --Katie

If you don't want to ask or go, schedule something during the time of the dinner, then you have a legitimate excuse.

If you are donating money to be used for a specific purpose, you have every right to be asked how that money has been spent. There may be a legitimate reason the shades haven't been put up that's beyond the school's control right now - although it would be nice if the school had told you that upfront. I'm a big believer in letting people know what's gong on - it helps eliminate a lot of questions/rumors.

Is there someone at the school you feel comfortable talking to? Tell them, you and other people have asked about the shades and no one had an answer. That way it's not just you asking and the school will realize that people are concerned. You are probably not the only one wondering.
 
I hear ya!
I have 2 on GFCF diet. Every year their school used to have a pasta night to raise money. I had to pay for pasta they couldn't eat & bring my own food. I even offered to make GF pasta for the 10 or so kids in the school with similar allergies. Costs for the night were around $80. (tickets for gift baskets & raffles...)
Our donations were supposed to go to a reduction in costs for the Summer programs. Well I never got any reduction in Summer programs. In fact last year they increased. For an added slap in the face, it was explained that price increases were due to extra dietary concerns of certain parents. It is laughable as I & the other parents provide all special foods for our own children. If anything food costs should have been less. I found out later that one needy child was given a free ride for the Summer programs. (I guess that was their reduction in costs?)
This year I am a volunteer & I'm bringing a pan of GF pasta & a basket of GF rolls. It is a fun event for everyone! I don't think they should say what the fundraising is for if they have no intention of providing it.
 


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