Am I Being Unreasonable

[Jubilee]

My first thought is you're not getting paid enough money.

My second thought is that I would not expect to be paid if you didn't provide the service unless it is spelled out in some kind of contract.

this

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

I would drop her as a client; she sounds like trouble.

 

[North of Mouse]

crashbb, I think by saying hourly employee, you were actually meaning part-time employee which usually do not get any benefits. Because as others have said you can be full time hourly with benefits. And OP I feel like the PP, I would definitely drop this woman before you have really big troubles. It's true $75.00 is way too small an amt. and even $100.00 would not be enough for me with all you have to do, and his behavior even though he may not be able to help that.

 

[rockundergirl]

I hope you guys will give me some much needed advice. I am a single mom and I watch a child before and after school including driving to and from school and he is autistic and still wears diapers and needs to be changed. For 20 hrs per week I receive $75. Last week I called out sick because my kids were sick with the stomach virus and I didn't want this little boy catching it. I charge the mother a weekly rate. Without consulting me, she deducted the day I didn't watch her child saying she won't pay me if I am not watching him. She was apparently infuriated she could not bring him because my kids were sick. She said she wanted to regardless. She'd done this before when my kids had strep and this time she said she wasn't given the choice so why should I be given the choice for pay? First, should I expect to be paid for the day my kids were sick? We have no real contract, just a verbal agreement with many misunderstandings that need to be cleared up. I told her I felt 5 sick days, if needed, were acceptable since she has the same with her job and I treat this professionally as my job. I see it as my business. Second, she tells me last night she found 10 other daycare providers who would charge the same rate as I am($75 week) to do everything I am doing. I do not believe this. Looking for some input. Thanks.

I did not read the other replies... sorry

If you are asking if I think this woman should have been able to predict that you would expect to get paid for days you don't provide your service...
IMO you are being unreasonable. I'm not sure why you told us how much you get paid weekly , or that the child is challenged that doesn't seem relevant. You are providing a service you are not this persons employee. That's like paying your hair cutter when they don't cut your hair because they are sick.

If you are asking if I think you should be paid more. I do.
I think this is a great opportunity for you to start your own business!
Come up with a contract, and sign it before you start watching any kids.. I do some side work and have an LLC. I always try to put myself in the shoes of my clients. Did it occur to you that maybe if this woman doesn't have child care she misses out on a days pay herself? Or worse, puts her job in jeopardy ? I know at my job I "have " 3 sick days, 2 Personal days and 2 weeks vacation... but good luck to me finding a good time to use them... things go to **** when I actually take the time off.... you never know what wearing someones shoes are like.

 

[5forDis]

Wow! I pay a teenager at least $15 per hour to watch my children and it doesn't involve driving them to/from school, violent outbursts or changing diapers. You are definitely not paid enough for the special service you are performing.

As far as being paid for days when you are sick...I have no real opinion. I know I have to pay my daughters' dance tuition per month even if they miss classes due to illness. I have never used regular childcare (occasional babysitter only) so I don't know if it is typical to pay for days when the provider is unable to care for the child. You said you had policies written stating such, so I think she should just pay. If she didn't agree with your policy, she should have discussed it with you prior.

I call BS that she has ten other people willing to do this...you are making only $3.75 per hour if you are doing this for 20 hours at $75/week!!! No way...not worth it. Furthermore, it doesn't sound like she appreciates, values, or respects you & that has to be frustrating for you.

 

[amykathleen2005]

You aren't getting paid enough. That being said, if you are being paid as a baby sitter, then you shouldn't expect to get time off and be paid for it. This is not a full time job unless you start an actual business. I think this would certainly work as your own business but you need to have a contract with all of your expectations.

 

[AZMermaid]

I think $100/wk is still too low. It is less than min wage for a very high needs child. If it was a friend of one of your kids who really wasn't much trouble, maybe I could see 75-100 week, but not for this situation. There is no way she has ten people dying to watch him for $75.

If she signed the contract and does not pay you tomorrow, I would refuse to watch the child that day, unless the contract also stipulates some sort of notice to terminate the services. If she never signed it, I am not sure you have any legal grounds to the money, but you could refuse anyway, since she never would have agreed to any sort of notice either. Same if she does not pay you the full $100 next week. It sounds like she is a witch and needs to be handled firmly or kicked to the curb.

 

[kelldawn]

Wow some of these responses are just not right. Here in Texas you pay no matter if they close for snow, or summer vacation. you have to hold the spot all summer or for any day of the month no matter what. No one puts sick days in their contracts here you just pay even if you miss or they miss. My daughter was licensed RN Nurse turned day care provider and only charged 100.00 per week for 7-6 each day Mon-Fri. So what if you have to miss work. People do get sick and that cannot be helped.In no human being..She is back working at a a Pediatrc Nurse in a clinic If one of the kids get sick she looses work no matter what. If the sitter is sick she has to go get them and lose work. There ar3e no other day cares in the town that will take drop ins just doesn't happen here you just lose work. its your child and you should take care of that child. Plus one of her kids broke their big dining room window and the mom paid because the little girl told her mom she did it. My DD didn't want to take the money so the mom contracted the glass co and had one put in. She loved my daughter and the place she was in and was so appreciative of her no matter what. You people up North are hard on people I am glad we don't live there. JMHO

 

[Altoqueenkelly]

When our kids were younger, I still paid if my kids were sick and I kept them home. She was expecting to be paid for those days.

On the other hand, if she called and told me not to bring the kids (she was sick, her kids were sick, etc.), I didn't pay her, I paid whoever I could find to substitute for her on short notice.

From the time my daughter was an infant to now her starting a private prekindergarden program at a private school, I paid my babysitter according to this exact agreement.

If my daughter didnt come to her house because she was sick or some other unplanned reason then I would still pay her, as she was available and willing to work.

If she asked for time off (always with at least 2wks notice) or was sick(only happened ONCE in 3 years!) then she expected not to be paid for that time as I would be finding a backup sitter and paying them.

I agree with others who have suggested a contract, you need to sit down with this woman and be firm about what your demands are. If she is unhappy about the changes she has every right to find someone else to care for her son, and that is not your problem. She should value and respect you as her caregiver, my daughters babysitter was like an extension of our family and thats how it should be.

I think it may be time to part ways with this family, and leasson learned for the next family

 

[5forDis]

Wow some of these responses are just not right. Here in Texas you pay no matter if they close for snow, or summer vacation. AND She loved my daughter and the place she was in and was so appreciative of her no matter what. You people up North are hard on people I am glad we don't live there. JMHO

Excuse me, but how is this a North/South thing? I think she's received responses from people ALL over the UNITED STATES & maybe some of our Canadian friends, as well. I don't think "us people up North" are being harsh at all----I am just suggesting she get paid more than $3.75 per hour for highly specialized care .

 

[Maddies Mama]

Excuse me, but how is this a North/South thing? I think she's received responses from people ALL over the UNITED STATES & maybe some of our Canadian friends, as well. I don't think "us people up North" are being harsh at all----I am just suggesting she get paid more than $3.75 per hour for highly specialized care .

I'm in the south and I voted don't pay for the sick day unless it's written into the contract. I don't see how or why it would be a north/south thing either

 

[North of Mouse]

kelldawn, honey we are not all from up north and I love my sweet tea - that said, it really doesn't matter where we are from, because we are from all over. But, what does matter is the going rate for childcare, especially special needs children, and the attitude of the mother using the OP's care. We just all think she is being taken advantage of, and trouble waiting to happen. Dependable, good quality childcare everywhere I've lived is very expensive. Am not saying your daughter is not the above - just stating a general fact.

 

[rockundergirl]

Wow some of these responses are just not right. Here in Texas you pay no matter if they close for snow, or summer vacation. you have to hold the spot all summer or for any day of the month no matter what. No one puts sick days in their contracts here you just pay even if you miss or they miss. My daughter was licensed RN Nurse turned day care provider and only charged 100.00 per week for 7-6 each day Mon-Fri. So what if you have to miss work. People do get sick and that cannot be helped.In no human being..She is back working at a a Pediatrc Nurse in a clinic If one of the kids get sick she looses work no matter what. If the sitter is sick she has to go get them and lose work. There ar3e no other day cares in the town that will take drop ins just doesn't happen here you just lose work. its your child and you should take care of that child. Plus one of her kids broke their big dining room window and the mom paid because the little girl told her mom she did it. My DD didn't want to take the money so the mom contracted the glass co and had one put in. She loved my daughter and the place she was in and was so appreciative of her no matter what. You people up North are hard on people I am glad we don't live there. JMHO

I can only speak for myself. But I answered a question I feel I was invited to answer. If the OP didn't want an answer they should have just asked for support. I.E I'm upset that I lost a days pay.. doesn't that suck?" why yes it does.. but that"s note what was posted.
Don't group people like that, its how most terrible human things happen. Like racism.

 

[bumbershoot]

I work (as a second job) as an hourly employee and I do not get paid sick time. Has nothing to so with not being worthy, it has to do with how it works. I either work my shift or I don't get paid. Most people I know who work as hourly employees are the same. Actually, everyone hourly employee I know (where I know the details) is the same.

Every hourly job I have ever had, as long as it was full time, included paid sick days (and paid vacation days and sometimes, paid other days).

I actually did tell her I was raising the rates to $100 per week effective mon. I sent it home with her son....

She said he was an easy child. He is not. He does need one on one care and he has broken 2 baby gates and damaged a wall throwing toys. Just this morning he broke my sons new Christmas toy. I have never asked his mother for the money.

This child does not sound responsible enough to have something sent home with him. I would make another copy and give it directly to HER tomorrow, if they show up.

You are being paid 3.75 per hour, for a child who is inflicting quite a bit of damage on your property.

If you do not want him in your care anymore, when she pulls up, do not answer the door, or step all the way outside and tell her so.

You are providing a service you are not this persons employee. That's like paying your hair cutter when they don't cut your hair because they are sick.

There are PLENTY of daycare situations that have that in the contract. You paid a certain amount of money to have those days available, and it doesn't matter if you don't take advantage of it, or can't take advantage of it b/c of illness. The spot is saved for your child, and you pay for that.



OP, honestly, I'd make SURE that your contract says what you mean it to say. I'd find a lawyer and pay them for the hopefully short amount of time it will take to make sure that it says what you want it to say, and have that for the future. I don't know the time period of the contract you do have with this woman, but when that time runs out, I'd give her the new one, if her son is still in your care.

 

[Zydebearsmom]

Yes, you are being unreasonable. I would not pay you if you or your children are sick, nor would I pay you for vacations. If you are unable to keep my child for any reason that means I have to pay someone else to keep him. I am not going to pay you plus another daycare provider. Being that you are self employed that is just one of the hits that you must take unless your clients agree to pay you. My husband is self employed when he is unable to go to work no one pays him. Why should you be any different?

 

[abcboys]

I know everyone keeps going on and on about you are not getting paid enough but honestly around here that would be the going rate. I paid 3.65/hour for summer center care for my 6-year old. I checked 2 home daycares and they were 4/hour for part time or 25/full day. I'm glad some of you can afford $15/hour for child care but at my part-time job I only MAKE $10/hour so it would be silly to pay child care that, AND most people care for more than just 1 child so it adds up to more than minimum wage.

Having said that, I commend you for doing what you do. There is no way I could be a babysitter especially for a high needs child. I don't know the parent's situation as maybe they couldn't afford to pay another child care provider for that day plus pay you.

 

[5forDis]

I know everyone keeps going on and on about you are not getting paid enough but honestly around here that would be the going rate. I paid 3.65/hour for summer center care for my 6-year old. I checked 2 home daycares and they were 4/hour for part time or 25/full day. I'm glad some of you can afford $15/hour for child care but at my part-time job I only MAKE $10/hour so it would be silly to pay child care that, AND most people care for more than just 1 child so it adds up to more than minimum wage.

ABC-Multiply 3.65 X 3 (I have 3 children)=$10.95/hour and you would be much closer to my $15/hour. This is not regular/daily childcare---it is for occasional babysitting. I am in no way saying she should charge $15/hour, but I do think it is a STEAL to have someone drive your child to/from school, change his diapers, and provide 1:1 care for his behavioral outbursts for under $4 per hour. A STEAL. A GIFT. I WOULD BE EXTREMELY APPRECIATIVE if someone was providing this service to help our family that I wouldn't squabble over one sick day.

 

[NotUrsula]

I think that the difference re: the "sick" pay hinges on how your pay is described. Are you charging a flat weekly fee, or an hourly fee that works out to that much per week? If the rate is a flat weekly fee I feel that if she gets service for any part of it then the entire amount is due; if it is hourly then you pro-rate it unless you had a clear agreement to the contrary. (It is common for many in-home daycare providers to set their rates so as to provide the equivalent of paid vacation and sick time; it makes perfect sense given the nature of the business, because kids often pass on illnesses.)

That said, I agree about the camera. That is especially crucial any time you have a special-needs child who has the potential to be seriously hurt in a fall, etc., or who causes damages to your property (not toys, though; you have to expect that toys may be broken in a care situation; if new toys are too precious for your children to share, then they should be put away when he is present.)

I would say that for a special-needs child you should not be taking anything less than $7/hr. plus any extraordinary expenses, including gas mileage and travel time, and reimbursement for property damage. Food I would include in the rate, unless he needs nutritional supplements, in which case she should provide them for you.

Call her up ahead of time and remind her about the agreement. If she shows up without a signed copy or won't sign right away, then refuse to take the child that day and call her bluff re: taking her business elsewhere. When she comes back after the other daycares call her on his special needs classification, then you should also only take him back under a new rate agreement, with an add'l property damage deposit. (Under normal circumstances I would expect 30 days notice of a planned rate increase.)

 

[AZMermaid]

I know everyone keeps going on and on about you are not getting paid enough but honestly around here that would be the going rate. I paid 3.65/hour for summer center care for my 6-year old. I checked 2 home daycares and they were 4/hour for part time or 25/full day. I'm glad some of you can afford $15/hour for child care but at my part-time job I only MAKE $10/hour so it would be silly to pay child care that, AND most people care for more than just 1 child so it adds up to more than minimum wage.
.

But you are talking about day care centers or in home daycares where the ratios are much higher! I pay $165 a week for daycare for my toddler, for 3 full days a week- so about 27 hours, which is a bit on the high side (by 10-20 a week), but there are only 3 toddlers in his class, so I am willing to pay a bit more instead of putting him in a large center with 15-20 toddlers with 3 teachers. I looked into having a mom watch him in her home or mine along with her kid (much more like the OP situation) and $10/hr was the cheapest I found, $12-$15 was more the average here in AZ- at least for a legal resident. I would compare watching a 6 year old high needs child in diapers to watching my toddler! I am a teacher and I bring home $465 a week (so much for overpaid teachers) so $10/hr was sort of too much to pay, especially when I was worried my mom would back out of the other two days, so I would need to pay for 45-50 hours a week. Luckily, my mom has enjoyed watching him!

 

[kelldawn]

North South meant yall have lots of different rules up there and ideas and demands. We pay no matter what. Just saying how different the top of the US is to the bottom in Texas not people ,,,people.. Not a put down just plain well just like my customers when they want something in 3 days handmade and painted and wouldn't dare talk to me like that face to face.All my well lets just say lots of different folks with demands your way unlike here. I am on her side sorry she needs more money and a camera