Am I Being Unreasonable

[5forDis]

Kelldawn-re read the responses. Most of us said she needs more money for her service. It really isn't a North/South thing and saying the North demands more...well, the actual northern ground isn't making demands, so you are saying the PEOPLE in the North. I guess you can make anything a North versus Texas thing if you want to paint everyone with one broad brush. I have been fortunate to have lived in many regions of this country and don't appreciate stereotypes being applied. This poster asked if she was being unreasonable---the majority of people said NOT AT ALL. She is actually underpaid.

 

[kelldawn]

Majority are saying she doesn't deserve it when she said she had a contract on her but made a new one.BECAUSE she got sick.. I pray the right thing happens for her. Down here she would get 130.00 week no matter what or how many hours she worked or sat for him. He would be considered a baby.. But can you omagine changing a 6 year olds diaper and he protesting everything and breaking things. it takes a special person and a special place for them and my heart goes out to her if she decides to continue with him.

Why does this site always have to read things into everything before blasting people..I guess thon reading might have an attitude before and reads it that way and i am not talking about anyone on this thread Not anyone so please lets drop that its about her and her delimma. Not stereotypes just parts of the US and their rules, pay scale, mannerisums? etc.

 

[disykat]

Majority are saying she doesn't deserve it when she said she had a contract on her but made a new one.BECAUSE she got sick.. I pray the right thing happens for her. Down here she would get 130.00 week no matter what or how many hours she worked or sat for him. He would be considered a baby.. But can you omagine changing a 6 year olds diaper and he protesting everything and breaking things. it takes a special person and a special place for them and my heart goes out to her if she decides to continue with him.

Why does this site always have to read things into everything before blasting people..I guess thon reading might have an attitude before and reads it that way and i am not talking about anyone on this thread Not anyone so please lets drop that its about her and her delimma. Not stereotypes just parts of the US and their rules, pay scale, mannerisums? etc.

HMM... maybe since where you live is so different than the rest of the world maybe something is getting lost in translation? It's like you're reading a different thread and not reading your own answers.

 

[squirrel]

I run a daycare and haven't had to close due to illness.

I have closed once for too much snow-All schools were closed and on the radio they were advising everyone to stay home and not drive. I did not give any $ back to parents.

I have had to close for two weeks one year when I couldn't find a sub to watch the kids at my home. I did give the parent's 1/2 the month of fee's back.

I probably wouldn't give $ back for one sick day in a month. If I had to close more than that I would.

It's in my contract that the daycare will be closed if power failure or heavy snow.

 

[crashbb]

Every hourly job I have ever had, as long as it was full time, included paid sick days (and paid vacation days and sometimes, paid other days).

20 hours a week is not full time. At least, it isn't full time in any area in which I've lived/worked.

 

[aprilgail2]

Honestly? I don't think you should be paid the day you called out sick. Sorry, but this isn't like her job AND you had no contract that listed your "benefits". Unless you spoke about it before hand, you don't just GET to take a sick day and expect to be paid. You didn't watch the child that day so you don't get paid for that day.

I agree, you didn't watch the child so why should you be paid? If she had to pay someone else for that day then she would be paying twice!

But that said I think 75.00 for 20 hours for a special needs kid is insanely cheap! I babysat a friends 2 kids for 8 hours a day 2 days a week and charged her 75.00 per day and that was only because she was my friend or it would have been way more than that!

 

[mommyof3princess27]

20 hours a week is not full time. At least, it isn't full time in any area in which I've lived/worked.

It IS Full time where I live, I am a daycare provider and I would charge $85 for before and after school. But him having to wear diapers I would charge more, Full time is anything 20+ hours a week. I think it depends on where you live AND it different for every provider. Maybe you should get something in writing asap so there are no vague areas. I myself get 5 paid sick days/personal days and I use them if my kids are sick too. But this is just MHO

 

[peanutsmommy10]

to update everyone....she quit this morning. Brought him and said his last day would be tomorrow. I decided it's today. I am not picking him up from school or doing tomorrow because she refuses to pay me. She said that in my original contract there was never anything about sick pay. BS! I have a copy. I reread it. I never made her sign it. That was my fault. She never mentioned being sorry for the damages her son made or anything. I am done. I appreciate everyone's advice. She refuses to pay me for the 2 weeks notice. I don't believe I can enforce that. Can I?

 

[AZMermaid]

If she never signed it, I think you are out of luck, but not sure. Maybe if she agrees she got a copy and enrolled him that is like agreeing to it, not sure. It is probably up to you if you want to go to small claims with it. Maybe you can get her to admit in email that she knew about the notice- email would document it, then you would have a case, but without that, I think it may just have to be a lesson learned for if you watch another kid in the future.

That said, I think it sounds like you are WAY better off without her and I am glad you stuck up for yourself and refused to watch him any further without pay. Besides everything else, assuming you watch him 5 days a week, she has her panties in a bunch over $15 right? For child care I was happy with, I would just suck that up and pay, even if I thought I was right. I was super annoyed I had to pay my full $165 for Thanksgiving week when they were closed Friday and closed at noon on Wed, so he was only there 1.5 days. AND they said if I dropped him off Tuesday, I would have to pay the drop in rate of $60 for that day, since he normally goes MWF, but I like the place and paying when they are closed is fairly standard around here.

 

[peanutsmommy10]

to clarify for everyone...I charged a flat weekly rate. It wasn't daily. I am over the not being paid for sick days. Maybe I was wrong to insist on that but here's what I had written and typed up and she HAS a copy of..,

Please note that because of my extremely discounted rates, I cannot refund for sick time, holidays, nor can I take your child for extra days/hours without advance notice and an additional charge. Please understand that this is not intended to bankrupt the parents, but that I also must be able to support the household expenses among additional fees that are required in order for me to keep my child care license in effect and this is difficult to do due to the restraints that providing such a discount puts on me and my family. I want, however, to ensure that all parents have equal access to care during our economical crisis, and thus have developed this financial plan in order to offer my services to those families who are in need.

she claims this little blurb was left out. It was not. That's what irks me. She lies! She's lied several times to me and yes I feel I was greatly taken advantag of. Her child is very high needs. She thinks he's not. She thinks autism is something that he'll just outgrow. I understand wanting to believe that as a mother but she lies to the child care providers about him. It is NOT easy to change his diapers. He had a very bad accident the first time and took his diaper off and smeared it everywhere. My baby daughter wound up getting in it and I was livid. I told his mother and she laughed at it. I felt the nerve! He once ran outside, just opened the door and left. I told her...she laughed. I am just glad to be done.

 

[Maddies Mama]

I think you need to spend a little money up front and take your contract to a lawyer who will help guide you in making a solid contract for future clients, one that covers everything from damage in your home to sick days to fees to whatever else you want it to include. This will be money well spent as it's for both your and your client's protection to have a signed contract in place that lays out all of the rules. She did not sign the contract so I think you're going to have a hard time going after 2 weeks of pay from the notice she didn't give to you and honestly I would chalk it up to being a lesson learned. Give your future clients a reasonable amount of time to review and sign the contract and make them get it notarized when they sign it. That will be your best bet for being able to legally enforce the contract in a court of law should the need ever arise. When they give you the signed contract back, compare it against the original line by line to make sure they didn't alter it in any way.

 

[nunzia]

My first thought is you're not getting paid enough money.

My second thought is that I would not expect to be paid if you didn't provide the service unless it is spelled out in some kind of contract.

I agree..you are only getting $75 a week for 20 hours with a special needs child? Not enough by far. That said, this isn't like a job where you accrue sick hours, it seems like it should only be set up for days you actually have the child. Either way, I'd have a signed contract. I'd also research reasonable fees charged in your area to see what average pay is for this type of care. Do you also get gas reimbursement for having to pick him up? that should be included in your pay as well.

 

[SaraJayne]

Thank you all for your advice. I need to clarify a few things. I did have an agreement I gave her about a month ago. It stated my policy for pay, vacation, and actually sick days. I thought it had not. I put in there I get paid for sick days, regardless. She has a copy of this. I really don't even care about being paid or not for day my kids were sick. Its more the fact that she takes me for granted and expects people to bend over backwards and be flexible with her and gets an attitude if they don't she hates her sons school. Always complains about them. I actually did tell her I was raising the rates to $100 per week effective mon. I sent it home with her son. He is 6 btw. She told me he was potty trained almost and never mentioned changing his diapers originally. She said he was an easy child. He is not. He does need one on one care and he has broken 2 baby gates and damaged a wall throwing toys. Just this morning he broke my sons new Christmas toy. I have never asked his mother for the money. I never heard back from her about my contract, letter and changes. What am I to say if he just shows up tomorrow. How would you guys handle it? And kelldawn wow! I am so sorry for your dd. that is so wrong and scary. I really want to quit as she does seem the type to pull something like that

Since it's in writing, she needs to pay you for the days.

Or, if you just want to be rid of her and her kid (which I would be), tell her to take a hike and find someone else to watch her kid.

I really think you need to make sure this child stays out of your home. Your family comes first.

 

[coastiewifern]

Sounds like it is best to just be done with this family. Lessons learned. Get a contract signed with your next client. Happier days are ahead

 

[wtrmlnlabs]

to update everyone....she quit this morning. Brought him and said his last day would be tomorrow. I decided it's today. I am not picking him up from school or doing tomorrow because she refuses to pay me. She said that in my original contract there was never anything about sick pay. BS! I have a copy. I reread it. I never made her sign it. That was my fault. She never mentioned being sorry for the damages her son made or anything. I am done. I appreciate everyone's advice. She refuses to pay me for the 2 weeks notice. I don't believe I can enforce that. Can I?

Good!! I was gonna say, though I'm coming in late to the thread, I would have told her this morning either she paid right then and there for that missed day the other week and SIGNED the new contract with the higher rate, or you were done, take the child elsewhere starting immediately. I assumed that the previous contract was signed by her, which you said she didn't, but under the circumstances I'd have been willing to let her walk, with the loss of that days pay and her business.

As for the original question, with your contract stating that she needed to pay you, yep, she should have. If you didn't have that, I'd agree that no, since she'd need to pay someone else because you chose to "take the day off" she shouldn't have had to pay. Love that your contract specifically states "because of my reduced rate", you're off to a good start I wish you the best with future business and hopefully this was just a hard lesson learned, now you are better prepared!

Oh, and I also wanted to add, as PP has said, she'd probably not given full details to those other 10 places that will take him for the same pay. She lied about his abilities to you, you can be sure she lied to them. I wouldn't be surprised if she came groveling back to you later once they've all kicked her out! And kudos to you for trying to help people out as much as you are =)

 

[SaraJayne]

What a relief for you to be done with this child and mother!

Since she didn't sign the contract, I think you'll just be out the money. But think how less stressed you'll be and how peaceful your home will be now.

Consider it money lost and cut off contact with the mother. You'll be so much happier.

 

[elcodfish]

It is very frustrating, but it is over now. You don't need extra stress in your life for the $75 a week. Take it as a blessing and move on!

 

[abcboys]

But you are talking about day care centers or in home daycares where the ratios are much higher! I pay $165 a week for daycare for my toddler, for 3 full days a week- so about 27 hours, which is a bit on the high side (by 10-20 a week), but there are only 3 toddlers in his class, so I am willing to pay a bit more instead of putting him in a large center with 15-20 toddlers with 3 teachers. I looked into having a mom watch him in her home or mine along with her kid (much more like the OP situation) and $10/hr was the cheapest I found, $12-$15 was more the average here in AZ- at least for a legal resident. I would compare watching a 6 year old high needs child in diapers to watching my toddler! I am a teacher and I bring home $465 a week (so much for overpaid teachers) so $10/hr was sort of too much to pay, especially when I was worried my mom would back out of the other two days, so I would need to pay for 45-50 hours a week. Luckily, my mom has enjoyed watching him!

The 3.65/hour was what I would call a center but it is childcare at the college. It is for ages 3-6. The 4/hour was inhome care where I guess they have to have maximum number of children depending on what their ages are. $25 for full day. Most places give a discount for more than 1 kid Around here, at least in our area, nobody would get $10/hour for daycare. Just doesn't happen. (but I understand that it def. does in other parts of the country) I've babysat in years past when my kids were younger and it was never over $3/hour. But if you figure $25/day and you have say 4 kids plus any part time kids it works out well over minimum wage. I'm thinking $10/hour and you watch just 3 kids 8 hours a day that comes out to $1200/wk...just to babysit...I think I"m in the wrong profession. I mean how do parents working minimum wage jobs or barely over afford childcare?

 

[rockundergirl]

North South meant yall have lots of different rules up there and ideas and demands. We pay no matter what. Just saying how different the top of the US is to the bottom in Texas not people ,,,people.. Not a put down just plain well just like my customers when they want something in 3 days handmade and painted and wouldn't dare talk to me like that face to face.All my well lets just say lots of different folks with demands your way unlike here. I am on her side sorry she needs more money and a camera

What gets me you say " I'm on her side" who the hell on that responded is not. Instead of stroking her ego I gave her and others gave her solid advice.. thats the best way to be on someones side..

 

[crashbb]

Please note that because of my extremely discounted rates, I cannot refund for sick time, holidays, nor can I take your child for extra days/hours without advance notice and an additional charge.

I'm glad, for your sake, that you are done with her.

BUT, if you are going to get another client, make sure that someone (e.g. a lawyer like someone suggested above) reads your contract. I (as a client) wuld have read "sick time" as a time when my child was sick and "holidays" as a time when I went on holiday - not when you were sick/on holiday. In other words, as times when I choose not to send my child to you, not as times when you choose not to take my child. I know that "choose" is not really the right word when your son is sick, but it is the best I can think of.