Am I Being Unreasonable

[peanutsmommy10]

I hope you guys will give me some much needed advice. I am a single mom and I watch a child before and after school including driving to and from school and he is autistic and still wears diapers and needs to be changed. For 20 hrs per week I receive $75. Last week I called out sick because my kids were sick with the stomach virus and I didn't want this little boy catching it. I charge the mother a weekly rate. Without consulting me, she deducted the day I didn't watch her child saying she won't pay me if I am not watching him. She was apparently infuriated she could not bring him because my kids were sick. She said she wanted to regardless. She'd done this before when my kids had strep and this time she said she wasn't given the choice so why should I be given the choice for pay? First, should I expect to be paid for the day my kids were sick? We have no real contract, just a verbal agreement with many misunderstandings that need to be cleared up. I told her I felt 5 sick days, if needed, were acceptable since she has the same with her job and I treat this professionally as my job. I see it as my business. Second, she tells me last night she found 10 other daycare providers who would charge the same rate as I am($75 week) to do everything I am doing. I do not believe this. Looking for some input. Thanks.

 

[LilyWDW]

Honestly? I don't think you should be paid the day you called out sick. Sorry, but this isn't like her job AND you had no contract that listed your "benefits". Unless you spoke about it before hand, you don't just GET to take a sick day and expect to be paid. You didn't watch the child that day so you don't get paid for that day.

 

[vicki_c]

I think if you want your business to be taken seriously, as a professional, you shouldn't be working on a verbal agreement or other non-defined terms. At this point, you can't force her to pay. Either suck up the loss so you can continue to watch her son, or be prepared for her to find somewhere else. However, it sounds like the relationship is not that great, so it's possible she may choose to go elsewhere anyway. I don't know, it sounds like it's going to be pretty strained going forward.

You needed to define in advance what the arrangements would be for sickness, unpaid days, etc.

 

[disykat]

My first thought is you're not getting paid enough money.

My second thought is that I would not expect to be paid if you didn't provide the service unless it is spelled out in some kind of contract.

 

[runwad]

I think this needed to be spelled out before it happened. When I took my kids to the sitter I did not pay if she was sick or they were sick but we talked about that going in. When I took them to daycare they got 5 sick/vacation days a year if they went over that I paid even if they didn't go. I think you were right in not watching him that day and she should be appreciative of that, but I do think she's right in not paying you for the day if it wasn't agreed upon before hand.

 

[antmaril]

My first thought is you're not getting paid enough money.

My second thought is that I would not expect to be paid if you didn't provide the service unless it is spelled out in some kind of contract.

I agree with this 100%.

 

[AlwaysMoving]

Don't have much advice other than if you want this to be treated like a business, you need to have everything clearly written on paper and have her sign it to be referred to in the future when something comes up. Obviously there will be days when you can't watch the child (sick days, vacation days, etc) and same with the child's parents (their vacation days, etc).

Just as a side not, when I was a full-time and part-time babysitter, I never expected the child's parents to pay for the days when I could not watch the child. Business or not, it is not their fault that I had to bow out and they still had to find a babysitter for that day and probably pay for that babysitter. If they could not find a babysitter and had to take the day off, they probably did not get paid, so they lost money. Or perhaps they used a sick day, while not such a hit to their pay, it is still a loss to them. I know everyone's opinion is different, but I never felt right penalizing someone for something that is not their fault.

 

[ilovemk76]

I hope you guys will give me some much needed advice. I am a single mom and I watch a child before and after school including driving to and from school and he is autistic and still wears diapers and needs to be changed. For 20 hrs per week I receive $75. Last week I called out sick because my kids were sick with the stomach virus and I didn't want this little boy catching it. I charge the mother a weekly rate. Without consulting me, she deducted the day I didn't watch her child saying she won't pay me if I am not watching him. She was apparently infuriated she could not bring him because my kids were sick. She said she wanted to regardless. She'd done this before when my kids had strep and this time she said she wasn't given the choice so why should I be given the choice for pay? First, should I expect to be paid for the day my kids were sick? We have no real contract, just a verbal agreement with many misunderstandings that need to be cleared up. I told her I felt 5 sick days, if needed, were acceptable since she has the same with her job and I treat this professionally as my job. I see it as my business. Second, she tells me last night she found 10 other daycare providers who would charge the same rate as I am($75 week) to do everything I am doing. I do not believe this. Looking for some input. Thanks.

I think the original pay of $75 for 20 hours with a child who wears diapers is not enough money. I would have paid you if I was her. She is getting a deal.

 

[2Pirates2Princesses]

My first thought is you're not getting paid enough money.

My second thought is that I would not expect to be paid if you didn't provide the service unless it is spelled out in some kind of contract.

I agree with this. You are charging a lot less than a typical before/after school program would charge, especially since you are also providing transportation and personal care services (diaper changing) for a child with special needs; but then again I wouldn't expect to be paid an agreed weekly amount if I didn't provide the full week of service. I would establish a contract agreement with this parent and possibly negotiate a slightly higher pay amount for all you are doing if you feel comfortable with that at this point. Good luck.

 

[BrerMom]

When our kids were younger, I still paid if my kids were sick and I kept them home. She was expecting to be paid for those days.

On the other hand, if she called and told me not to bring the kids (she was sick, her kids were sick, etc.), I didn't pay her, I paid whoever I could find to substitute for her on short notice.

My staying home and calling in sick because my babysitter was sick was NOT an option. I am not allowed to use my sick days for this reason. Maybe this is why she is upset? She's not allowed to stay home with him and she didn't plan ahead and doesn't have back-up sitters she can call?

Unless you really love the little boy, I'd let her find a new babysitter.

 

[torinsmom]

I think I would call her bluff as far as her finding 10 providers who would provide the same service for the same money. That's less than $4/hour and you are using your car, buying gas, and changing diapers. I imagine if he is autistic, he also needs one on one attention that a typical child his age would not need. And yes, I know there are kids with high functioning autism, but those do not usually need diaper changing, in my experience.

I would not expect her to pay if you cancelled. You need a written agreement if you are going to continue to do child care for a living. Also remember that you may need to up your insurance, as something could happen to the child at your house and you would be liable.

 

[Glennie5]

First off I am a stay at home mom so my kids have never been in day care but I know a lot of day care providers who get paid no matter what. It would not matter if it was the day care provider who was sick or if it was the child who had to stay home because they were sick. Secondly I think you are not being paid enough to care for this child. This is only my opinion, good luck I hope everything works out for you.

 

[bookgirl]

I hope you guys will give me some much needed advice. I am a single mom and I watch a child before and after school including driving to and from school and he is autistic and still wears diapers and needs to be changed. For 20 hrs per week I receive $75. Last week I called out sick because my kids were sick with the stomach virus and I didn't want this little boy catching it. I charge the mother a weekly rate. Without consulting me, she deducted the day I didn't watch her child saying she won't pay me if I am not watching him. She was apparently infuriated she could not bring him because my kids were sick. She said she wanted to regardless. She'd done this before when my kids had strep and this time she said she wasn't given the choice so why should I be given the choice for pay? First, should I expect to be paid for the day my kids were sick? We have no real contract, just a verbal agreement with many misunderstandings that need to be cleared up. I told her I felt 5 sick days, if needed, were acceptable since she has the same with her job and I treat this professionally as my job. I see it as my business. Second, she tells me last night she found 10 other daycare providers who would charge the same rate as I am($75 week) to do everything I am doing. I do not believe this. Looking for some input. Thanks.

No I don't think you should be paid for a sick day.

You need to get a written contract in place that states what will be done if you OR she calls off at the last moment.

If she found 10 places for the same price, I'm willing to bet big money that she did not tell them that this was a special needs child in diapers. If it's licenced there are rules about diapers and ratio's and they charge way above the standard rate, and unlicensed is really hard to find someone willing to take on special needs. When I was teaching parents of my autistic students could not find child care period. And when they did they were charged huge prices for it.

She's lying, call her bluff.

 

[kelldawn]

This all is a bunch of bull//// My daughter has to pay 235.00 a week wether the kids are there or not and wether the daycare closes for any reason. There are NO days where you get to not pay.. First off this is not enough money for what you have to do. If he were in a special needs facility they would charge way way more than that and she knows it. She even has to pay for her spot in the summer time and her hubby is off becasue she teaches and she is a nrse. they pay even if there kids do not go. Let me tell you a bit of advice. this mother is going to be trouble. Get yourself a video cam in the area you watch him in. Leave it on all day long. My daughter thought she would quit nursing and do day care and stay home with the kids. She had a woman move there from El Paso and brought her 10 month old son in.. Daily. Then he became very sick with a whooping cough sound and my daughter being a nurse told her on Friday not to bring him back until he had seen a doc since he could infect all the other kids very sick little boy.. said he really was sweet and never cried never just grunted when he wanted something. They say that is a sign of abuse now..But She brought him in and lied and told my dd that hes ok and she couldnt take time off work to do so. he became worse and my DD called her to come get him during her work hours . She was livid and told her she would miss the big wigs coming in that day for her nursing home job. She was some sort of admin . the other mothers were picking up theirs and saw this little boy at that time. She left with him mad.. but slapped the tar out of his face and went straight to the police with a fresh hand slap across the face that she did to him because she was mad and told them my DD abused him.. yea right. Wouldn't you say something before you took the child out of the daycare and in front of the other mothers>??? My daughter is still awaiting the DA.State took her license away she only had for 3 months. She didnt have the money yet for a camera as they spent 12 thousand dollars to build and furnish this daycare which the state said was the nicest in Midland texas.. Go figure?? But the care workers are all hispanic so they tend to side with each other no matter what.. Lost her Day care because of this woman she is hispanic my DD is white and is using race as an issue. Clencher she dropped the charges the next day on her own.. We think family told her she was nuts and would find out her past. GET A CAMERA.. This woman could ull a stunt like this and you could be in jail for nothing you have done. PLUS do a sheet with all their info Drivers license copied etc. make them sign that money is to be paid no matter what.. Sorry so long but please go do this and NOW they are fairly cheap around 30-50 dollars

 

[crashbb]

I agree with her about not paying you if you didn't watch her child. Your comment about being a professional and, thus, deserving 5 sick days is only a valid comparison for salaried employees. If I'm paid hourly and I call in sick for a shift, I don't get paid for that shift. She clearly sees you as an hourly employee (or, at least, in that class).

I'm also not sure about the people suggesting that you "call her bluff". What bluff? Are you trying to increase your rates? Are you willing to lose the $75/week? Not that I disagree what $75 seems cheap or that the likelihood of her really finding 10 centres is slim, I'm not sure what bluff they are suggesting you call.

 

[DisCookie]

I would not expect to be paid if I were the one calling out sick, as she likely had to find some other kind of care for her kid. Though I agree with others that $75 is much to low for service being offered. I would tell her to take a hike and go with one of those "ten" places she found to do the same for $75.

 

[bemily]

You should be getting paid double of what she is paying you. Like others said, call her bluff. You are driving her child to and from school as well as watching him 20 hours per week.

I would not expect to be paid for a day you didnt work, but she knows she is getting a deal, so to deduct a day's pay when you obviously did have sick kids is kind of petty (where she is paying you so little anyways).

Good luck!

 

[2Pirates2Princesses]

I think I would call her bluff as far as her finding 10 providers who would provide the same service for the same money. That's less than $4/hour and you are using your car, buying gas, and changing diapers. I imagine if he is autistic, he also needs one on one attention that a typical child his age would not need. And yes, I know there are kids with high functioning autism, but those do not usually need diaper changing, in my experience.

I would not expect her to pay if you cancelled. You need a written agreement if you are going to continue to do child care for a living. Also remember that you may need to up your insurance, as something could happen to the child at your house and you would be liable.

I think this is good advice. If the child you are providing care for has autism and is still in diapers, chances are high that he may also have developmental delays or behavioral challenges that could increase his chances of getting hurt/injured (at no fault to you) and this could possibly happen in your home and you want your bases covered(insurance) just like a typical child care facility would. I think this thread is offering you some great advice and the opportunity to take a look at the bigger picture in terms of what may be needed when providing child care as a form of income. Good luck and hope this all works out for you

 

[Green Tea]

My first thought is you're not getting paid enough money.

My second thought is that I would not expect to be paid if you didn't provide the service unless it is spelled out in some kind of contract.

I agree with this post

 

[sunshinehighway]

She is not paying you enough. Do you feel like she should pay you even though you didn't watch him because she pays you so little..like she's already getting a deal so she should give you a break and pay regardless of if you missed a day or not?

You will feel better about the situation if she starts paying you more. If she doesn't want to, let her find someone else to watch him. You are probably upset because you now realize she doesn't appreciate what you are doing for her.