Am I being Judgemental?

[creativeamanda]

Sigh ... Let me just say ... been there, done that.

I'm a single mom to a wonderful three year old. I work as close to 40 hours a week as possible ... I do qualify for the EIC (last year I made just over $19,000) and my daughter finally was able to get on state subsidized insurance. However, I get nothing else. I don't want anything else, but I have a coworker who tells me all the time I don't know how to "cheat the system."

She's right. I don't. I work incredibly hard, I don't mind working 6 days a week if I can. In fact, for over a year I worked 7 days a week. I was still qualifying for an EIC that year, though this year I did recieve a larger one. Starting next fall, I will be substitute teaching two days a week ... which doesn't pay much ... but it will cover daycare. FINALLY ... I won't have to worry about daycare. Like I said, I don't mind working 7 days a week, though I don't think it's something I can do forever. That is with working my regular job as well.

I'll also be starting school in the fall ... and yes, I will get some government help with that. They have programs in place for people like me ... and no, I don't mind using them. In fact, I would much rather see someone like me (who honestly can say she works her bumm off and isn't late on her bills) rather than on my coworker or some of the people I have read about in this thread.

I filed last summer for food stamps, when money was incredbily tight on my end. I made just over $200/month to much to qualify. My case worker actually said "Well, if you had another kid ..." Seriously?!!? I said "I surely hope you don't honestly mean that." The coworker I have spoken about gets $480/month in food stamps for her and her two children ... I spend *in a bad month* $200 in groceries. Do you all see the problem in this?!

Honestly, I would much rather see tax payers money going after dead beat dads. My daughters father bailed when she was five months old (and to the poster who said she has a good husband, I thought he was the "one") He currently owes $8580 in child support (not that I'm counting!) but they can't find him. HAHA! It's supposed to be $220 a month ... which wow, would be such a help. I figure, if I ever get the money, it'll be like a bonus.

Needless to say ... I understand how people can be angry when they see people cheating the system ... but know there are people out there who do honestly work for it. Oh, and to clarify ... we do go to Disney. We live 45 minutes away ... but we're taking this year off to get out of debt. My last three trips were paid for by my parents ... and now that we have to pay for Julie, they don't want to pay as often. And that's ok. In Florida, there are lots of other things to do ... and when you work 7 days a week, I do think you end up deserving a vacation. Of course, it depends on when you can actually take the days off from work to do it.

Regina--there is a huge difference between working 7 days per week and needing more help and what the family I am talking about is doing. They are having no problems telling people they will not work more than 20 hours per week because they will lose govt assistance. While they haven't said they want to have another kid, I'm sure that will come next. I commend you for working so hard. There's a difference between traveling a couple of hours to a location nearby than traveling 12-13-and in this case of family 20 hours to go on a trip when you can't even pay your heating bill.

 

[dsnycrzy]

And I will add that I said alot of that stuff to get back at people making mean JUDMENTIAL remarks to me. The world runs with people with different opinions and we are all entitled. I just do what I do and I am happy, if I called and got off gov't today, I would struggle some but be ok, but you would still pay taxes and what real difference does that make. I choose this job because I love it not for the money. I live comfortably and I'm okay. . Stop the smart remarks, they are unnecessary and hurtful to some of us. I would work 7 days a week but can't. I also did the 3 job thing but I had no time with my children and then when my mom died I had to do it ALL myself. This job also gurantees no weekends which I need since I do not have anyone to watch them. I'm doing the best I can with what I have and like I said, I am ok with what I do.

 

[DisneyBeagle]

For the record, the next time I hear someone say that they "deserve" a trip to Disney because they "work hard" or because they need to "make memories" and they are on welfare or are filing bankruptcy, I AM GOING TO SCREAM!!!!

I understand that people face rough times during their lives and that sometimes welfare and bankruptcy can't be avoided, and for those cases I am more than happy if my tax dollars can help them out.

What's happened lately that nobody can "make memories" without going a HUGE vacation? Heck, when I think back to my childhood some of my greatest memories are just doing things around the house with my parents that required no money to be spent.

 

[Laxmom]

Sigh ... Let me just say ... been there, done that.

I'm a single mom to a wonderful three year old. I work as close to 40 hours a week as possible ... I do qualify for the EIC (last year I made just over $19,000) and my daughter finally was able to get on state subsidized insurance. However, I get nothing else. I don't want anything else, but I have a coworker who tells me all the time I don't know how to "cheat the system."

She's right. I don't. I work incredibly hard, I don't mind working 6 days a week if I can. In fact, for over a year I worked 7 days a week. I was still qualifying for an EIC that year, though this year I did recieve a larger one. Starting next fall, I will be substitute teaching two days a week ... which doesn't pay much ... but it will cover daycare. FINALLY ... I won't have to worry about daycare. Like I said, I don't mind working 7 days a week, though I don't think it's something I can do forever. That is with working my regular job as well.

I'll also be starting school in the fall ... and yes, I will get some government help with that. They have programs in place for people like me ... and no, I don't mind using them. In fact, I would much rather see someone like me (who honestly can say she works her bumm off and isn't late on her bills) rather than on my coworker or some of the people I have read about in this thread.

I filed last summer for food stamps, when money was incredbily tight on my end. I made just over $200/month to much to qualify. My case worker actually said "Well, if you had another kid ..." Seriously?!!? I said "I surely hope you don't honestly mean that." The coworker I have spoken about gets $480/month in food stamps for her and her two children ... I spend *in a bad month* $200 in groceries. Do you all see the problem in this?!

Honestly, I would much rather see tax payers money going after dead beat dads. My daughters father bailed when she was five months old (and to the poster who said she has a good husband, I thought he was the "one") He currently owes $8580 in child support (not that I'm counting!) but they can't find him. HAHA! It's supposed to be $220 a month ... which wow, would be such a help. I figure, if I ever get the money, it'll be like a bonus.

Needless to say ... I understand how people can be angry when they see people cheating the system ... but know there are people out there who do honestly work for it. Oh, and to clarify ... we do go to Disney. We live 45 minutes away ... but we're taking this year off to get out of debt. My last three trips were paid for by my parents ... and now that we have to pay for Julie, they don't want to pay as often. And that's ok. In Florida, there are lots of other things to do ... and when you work 7 days a week, I do think you end up deserving a vacation. Of course, it depends on when you can actually take the days off from work to do it.

Ok, can't keep quiet any longer.

Regina, you are making an effort to make a better life for you and your child. That is the difference here. You are working hard to make things better. You are using the system to get on your feet not using the system to prop you up. Keep up the good work and good luck to you!

This system was meant to help people who need it and face short term hardship not for people to make a long term living. Just my thoughts.

 

[Disfan3]

No, that is not judgemental. Hand her a book of Total Money Makeover. Maybe she will realize that her trip was irresponsible. I don't have a problem helping people who work hard and still need help. I'm tired as a taxpayer of paying people to eat who purposely don't go out and work.

We got some of our friends together and helped a couple at church dig out of debt. Three couples helped to pay to fix a car, groceries, heating, etc to the tune of $800 to help a couple get out of debt and on their feet. The poor husband was working 2 jobs - one teaching and one at Wal-Mart after he got done teaching. When they got some security, he qiut his wal-mart job and they went to Florida for Christmas to see her brother. They called last week needing money for gas. He doesn't get paid until the 22nd. Well in our conversation, she admitted they should not have gone to Florida, they couldn't afford it.

I'll get off my soap box now.

The problem is not debt...it is laziness. They do not want to work because they will lose Government charity. That is what it boils down to. I know someone who is on food stamps, medical, and just got a house, 100,000 dollars in an inheritance AND a free car.

Of course they do not report it...I am sure they keep it somewhere it cannot be found, etc....

this is a total rip off of our system. I have no problems with financial aid, single moms who work and cannot put food on the table, etc....but this kind of stuff is CRAZY.

 

[dsnycrzy]

I would love to spend all of my time volunteering at the local animal shelter. I really, really love animals. My family would like me to be happy too. Unfortunately, the utility company, the water company, the grocery store, and the mortgage company don't care if I'm happy. They are only interested in their own happiness! So, I work in a career that wasn't what I wanted, doing a job I never planned on doing. Why? Because they pay me and offer health benefits. But my children have grown up knowing that you should work for what you want, and take pride in being a productive member of society. I would take any job, and sacrifice my own happiness many times over to instill values, ethics, and character in my children.

And you can instill all of these whether you are getting gov't assistance or not. The stereo type that all people on any assistance and beatting it or ghetto and you are wrong. My kids knew me without assistance and with, I teach them the same values.

 

[JKYlovesRuss]

Did you really just say that you teach and go to Disney to keep entertained while waiting around for your family to die so you can get the inheritance?

Whatever she's teaching, I hope it "ain't" English!

 

[hentob]

I am ok with what I do.

Of course you are

And you can instill all of these whether you are getting gov't assistance or not. The stereo type that all people on any assistance and beatting it or ghetto and you are wrong. My kids knew me without assistance and with, I teach them the same values.

Values

Poor kids.

 

[reginaastralis]

Regina--there is a huge difference between working 7 days per week and needing more help and what the family I am talking about is doing. They are having no problems telling people they will not work more than 20 hours per week because they will lose govt assistance. While they haven't said they want to have another kid, I'm sure that will come next. I commend you for working so hard. There's a difference between traveling a couple of hours to a location nearby than traveling 12-13-and in this case of family 20 hours to go on a trip when you can't even pay your heating bill.

Oh I know! I just wanted people to know that not everyone getting help is a piece of crud. Believe me, I could tell you some of the stories I hear from my coworkers (I'm a server, it's really easy for us to lie about how much money we make per year!)

I am very thankful I have a supportive family and friends... w/o them, things would be a lot worse for my daughter and I. It's hard for me to hear stories like this and not cringe ... like the time my coworker looked at me and said
"You know, you can go to blah blah blah church and they'll pay your electric for you, even if you're a couple of months behind."
"But, I'm not behind ...I'm ahead. I pay $100/month even if it's only $60."
"Oh ... you aren't behind? Well don't pay for a couple of months and then go."

Yes, seriously ... that is how some people think.

 

[meandtheguys2]

For the record, the next time I hear someone say that they "deserve" a trip to Disney because they "work hard" or because they need to "make memories" and they are on welfare or are filing bankruptcy, I AM GOING TO SCREAM!!!!

I understand that people face rough times during their lives and that sometimes welfare and bankruptcy can't be avoided, and for those cases I am more than happy if my tax dollars can help them out.

What's happened lately that nobody can "make memories" without going a HUGE vacation? Heck, when I think back to my childhood some of my greatest memories are just doing things around the house with my parents that required no money to be spent.

Thank you...! My mom managed to make a wonderful childhood for us with no big vacations until we were in high school...go figure!

No one DESERVES WDW, and frankly, no one DESERVES any sort of vacation.

 

[creativeamanda]

Ok, can't keep quiet any longer.

Regina, you are making an effort to make a better life for you and your child. That is the difference here. You are working hard to make things better. You are using the system to get on your feet not using the system to prop you up. Keep up the good work and good luck to you!

This system was meant to help people who need it and face short term hardship not for people to make a long term living. Just my thoughts.

ITA. We should be taking care of people who need to get on their feet. We should be caring for elderly people who cannot afford their drugs. We should be helping families of children with disabilities (a good friend of mine has a child with Down Syndrome and gets no assistance because of how much she makes, but could really use assistance for related medical costs). We should not be helping people because they want life to be all butterflies and roses.

 

[creativeamanda]

Oh I know! I just wanted people to know that not everyone getting help is a piece of crud. Believe me, I could tell you some of the stories I hear from my coworkers (I'm a server, it's really easy for us to lie about how much money we make per year!)

I am very thankful I have a supportive family and friends... w/o them, things would be a lot worse for my daughter and I. It's hard for me to hear stories like this and not cringe ... like the time my coworker looked at me and said
"You know, you can go to blah blah blah church and they'll pay your electric for you, even if you're a couple of months behind."
"But, I'm not behind ...I'm ahead. I pay $100/month even if it's only $60."
"Oh ... you aren't behind? Well don't pay for a couple of months and then go."

Yes, seriously ... that is how some people think.

You are to be commended.

 

[crisi]

I'm speed typing and where did it say we had to use proper english on here? I didn't know WDW was a word or DD, etc. See the mean idiot who have a thumb up there butt that have stupid stuff to say.

It shows respect for other posters to spell, capitalize and punctuate appropriately. It makes your posts easier to read, and it presents an image of yourself to us as someone who is at least literate. We do have our own "internet speak" (hey at least it isn't L33t around here), but the culture of the board is for the most part fairly complete and standard English.

 

[meandtheguys2]

And you can instill all of these whether you are getting gov't assistance or not. The stereo type that all people on any assistance and beatting it or ghetto and you are wrong. My kids knew me without assistance and with, I teach them the same values.

You are teaching them. You are teaching them to take because they can regardless of whether it is right or wrong. Hones people work hard for their money. Throwing it at wasteful, ungrateful, and unethical bums makes people upset. People don't mind helping those who are helping themselves out of the programs as intended but it is down right disturbing to work our butts off for those who are in it for a scam, and are too lazy to help themselves.

 

[Liljam]

ITA. We should be taking care of people who need to get on their feet. We should be caring for elderly people who cannot afford their drugs. We should be helping families of children with disabilities (a good friend of mine has a child with Down Syndrome and gets no assistance because of how much she makes, but could really use assistance for related medical costs). We should not be helping people because they want life to be all butterflies and roses.

Exactly!!!

 

[creativeamanda]

Exactly!!!

Totally unrelated, Leslee, but your baby has got to be one of the most beautiful little ones I've ever seen.

 

[Laxmom]

Thank you...! My mom managed to make a wonderful childhood for us with no big vacations until we were in high school...go figure!

No one DESERVES WDW, and frankly, no one DESERVES any sort of vacation.

Exactly! It is something you work for. And if you can't afford it, don't do it!! We took our kids to WDW when they were 16 and 9 for the first time. Why? Because we couldn't afford it.

 

[Laxmom]

Totally unrelated, Leslee, but your baby has got to be one of the most beautiful little ones I've ever seen.

I thought that too! What a cutie! Sorry OT.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Okay, I'm taking notes.

I get to work less than 20 hours a day, get free food, free housing, and I don't have to be serious about wanting to get my life on track. Check.

Why WOULDN'T people scam and cheat and everything to keep that money train chugging down the track?

And we are all in agreemment that Regina is the exact person that this was set-up for...to help her out, not to sustain. Good luck to you, Regina. I wish you the best.

 

[dsnycrzy]

I have no more comments because I don't have time for my pressure to go up and Ill have to pay for a dr.'s visit and prescription that I could have gotten for free ON THE SYSTEM!!!!! As soon as I was able to get beniefits, I took my kids and I off that and PAY NOW!!!! But I see most people are judgemental reguardless of what you say. And with my $5,800 in refund, I paid all my bills up 6 months, electric, cable, car insurance and rent, and whatever was left over I put aside for my trip. I do not care what you guys say you have no idea what goes on in my life so so be it.