Am I being a Scrooge?

[mickeyboat]

I am co-leader for the girls' Girl Scout Troop. The other leader does all of the planning, etc. and I am basically just at the meetings as a warm body. This was an arrangement she was amenable to at the beginning of the year. I am too, since I do not have time for planning, but love to spend time with the girls at the meetings.

We have a meeting on Wednesday, and I received an email about 10 minutes ago asking all the parents if we should have a grab bag gift exchange at the meeting. Besides the fact that it is pretty last minute, and many parents just cannot afford to buy more gifts, we had one last year, and it didn't work well. We had a $10 limit. Two girls did not bring gifts, but the leader had bought a couple of dollar store items, just in case that happened. So we brought two fairly nice gifts to exchange, and went home with one fairly nice gift and one dollar store gift. It was noticed, and it was tough to explain why one got a plastic sippy cup, and one got a cool stuffed animal.

So I responded to the email with my concerns, and suggested maybe an ornament exchange, or an exchange with a VERY low dollar limit, to avoid this happening again. Am I a Scrooge?

Denae

 

[Hedy]

I am co-leader for the girls' Girl Scout Troop. The other leader does all of the planning, etc. and I am basically just at the meetings as a warm body. This was an arrangement she was amenable to at the beginning of the year. I am too, since I do not have time for planning, but love to spend time with the girls at the meetings.

We have a meeting on Wednesday, and I received an email about 10 minutes ago asking all the parents if we should have a grab bag gift exchange at the meeting. Besides the fact that it is pretty last minute, and many parents just cannot afford to buy more gifts, we had one last year, and it didn't work well. We had a $10 limit. Two girls did not bring gifts, but the leader had bought a couple of dollar store items, just in case that happened. So we brought two fairly nice gifts to exchange, and went home with one fairly nice gift and one dollar store gift. It was noticed, and it was tough to explain why one got a plastic sippy cup, and one got a cool stuffed animal.

So I responded to the email with my concerns, and suggested maybe an ornament exchange, or an exchange with a VERY low dollar limit, to avoid this happening again. Am I a Scrooge?

Denae

No, I think you're smart. I'd stick to the it's 10 days to Xmas, we're doing this so late, maybe next year line.

 

[NMAmy]

Not at all. I think you're being very thoughtful toward the girls/families that can't afford to bring something. Particularly since this was a last minute idea. Some families can't drop everything to go pick up an extra gift, either, it's a busy time of year for everyone.

So--I vote NOT Scrooge but the voice of reason.

 

[cats7494]

My 12dd does a $5 gift exchange at her youth in our church...you can actually get some pretty cool stuff at that price.
I think it is fine to have a lower limit! You are not a scrooge! You are being sensitive to the fact that for many people it is a really hard time of the year.

 

[TheGoofster]

What I've noticed with gift exchanges (whether it be with preschoolers or church groups or senior citizens, or whoever) is that there are three kinds of people:
1) those who follow the rules and get a good gift within the price range
2) those who don't follow the rules and get a really, really nice gift way outside the price range
3) those who get the cheapest gift they can find just to have something.

Unfortunately because of this, there are going to be some people who receive the nice gifts, some who receive the normal gifts, and some who receive the cheap gifts. When it is a child who recieves the cheap gift (especially when they followed the rules, and gave a good gift), it doesn't seem fair. (Even less so if a sibling or good friend got the really good gift).

So, to get back to your dilemma, I would either try to make sure as much as possible that everybody knows and follows the set procedure (good luck with that), or I too, would try something different.

 

[Chattyaholic]

Personally, I don't feel that this being Friday and the meeting not being until Wednesday that the gift exchange is really "last minute." You have four days to get something.

We just had our Christmas party at work this past Sunday evening. The gift exchange was to be $10 - $15. DH ended up with a ladies purple shirt. No tag on it so it is probably "used." There was another employee (woman) who ended up with a man's t-shirt that had been wrapped in the same paper as the ladies shirt my DH ended up with. We figured out where they probably came from. But that's just the "luck of the draw", really. Nothing to get really annoyed or upset over. It happens.

If it were me, I would suggest a $5 limit to the leader so there would be less hurt feelings if someone gets something from the Dollar Store. And if I were the co-leader I would bring one or two "extra" gifts and the leader should do the same, to cover just in case some girl's parents wouldn't/couldn't buy a gift to exchange.

 

[mickeyboat]

I also suggested that instead of an exchange, we have the kids who were able, bring in a gift for Toys for Tots of the local family homeless shelter.

I am starting to feel better already. Thanks, guys.

Denae

 

[cats7494]

I also suggested that instead of an exchange, we have the kids who were able, bring in a gift for Toys for Tots of the local family homeless shelter.

I am starting to feel better already. Thanks, guys.

Denae

I personally prefer this idea. We have done this in our own family too.

 

[mickeyboat]

Personally, I don't feel that this being Friday and the meeting not being until Wednesday that the gift exchange is really "last minute." You have four days to get something.

We just had our Christmas party at work this past Sunday evening. The gift exchange was to be $10 - $15. DH ended up with a ladies purple shirt. No tag on it so it is probably "used." There was another employee (woman) who ended up with a man's t-shirt that had been wrapped in the same paper as the ladies shirt my DH ended up with. We figured out where they probably came from. But that's just the "luck of the draw", really. Nothing to get really annoyed or upset over. It happens.

If it were me, I would suggest a $5 limit to the leader so there would be less hurt feelings if someone gets something from the Dollar Store. And if I were the co-leader I would bring one or two "extra" gifts and the leader should do the same, to cover just in case some girl's parents wouldn't/couldn't buy a gift to exchange.

You are probably right, about the timing. It is just pretty last minute to me because I work full time and I will be out of town this weekend.

You are also right about the "luck of the draw." But it's a lot easier to accept it as an adult than as a 6 year old. And if it can be avoided, expecially in relativelty unimportant situations, I think maybe it should be.

I will take your advice if the leader decides to go ahead with the swap - and bring in a few extras, probably at the cost limit, to avoid sad feelings.

Denae

 

[tink1978]

I am co-leader for the girls' Girl Scout Troop. The other leader does all of the planning, etc. and I am basically just at the meetings as a warm body. This was an arrangement she was amenable to at the beginning of the year. I am too, since I do not have time for planning, but love to spend time with the girls at the meetings.

We have a meeting on Wednesday, and I received an email about 10 minutes ago asking all the parents if we should have a grab bag gift exchange at the meeting. Besides the fact that it is pretty last minute, and many parents just cannot afford to buy more gifts, we had one last year, and it didn't work well. We had a $10 limit. Two girls did not bring gifts, but the leader had bought a couple of dollar store items, just in case that happened. So we brought two fairly nice gifts to exchange, and went home with one fairly nice gift and one dollar store gift. It was noticed, and it was tough to explain why one got a plastic sippy cup, and one got a cool stuffed animal.

So I responded to the email with my concerns, and suggested maybe an ornament exchange, or an exchange with a VERY low dollar limit, to avoid this happening again. Am I a Scrooge?

Denae

No...I don't think you're a Scrooge, but it would be best to limit the gifts to $5-10 each.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I don't think you are a Scrooge either.

They have some cute Littlest Pet Shop sets for under $5. DD picked one out for her preschool exchange.

 

[mickeyboat]

Hannah loves Littlest Pet Shop stuff, and is getting a truck load of it for Christmas. Her dad bought her a "tool box" to keep all her critters in. That's a good idea.

The leader has not even decided whether or not she is going to do this exchange, and will let us know sometime on Saturday. I will be home Sunday night, so I have only a couple of nights to figure out what I am going to do.

Denae

 

[INDISMOM]

We just had our Brownie Christmas Party on Wednesday. We told the girls that we would have an exchange, but they needed to figure out what they could get/do/make for $1 or less. It was pretty amazing what they came up with -- some of them were Dollar Store gifts, but one girl had an old picture frame that she hot glued 100 pennies to, another one made an origami animal out of a dollar bill.

All the girls really liked the challenge and the parents appreciated that it wasn't a lot of money. As leaders we liked that it made the girls REALLY think about it, and they truly enjoyed giving their present.

This might not work for you since your meeting is next Wednesday, but maybe you could do this next year.

 

[mickeyboat]

We just had our Brownie Christmas Party on Wednesday. We told the girls that we would have an exchange, but they needed to figure out what they could get/do/make for $1 or less. It was pretty amazing what they came up with -- some of them were Dollar Store gifts, but one girl had an old picture frame that she hot glued 100 pennies to, another one made an origami animal out of a dollar bill.

All the girls really liked the challenge and the parents appreciated that it wasn't a lot of money. As leaders we liked that it made the girls REALLY think about it, and they truly enjoyed giving their present.

This might not work for you since your meeting is next Wednesday, but maybe you could do this next year.

Great idea! I will suggest it for next year.

Unfortunately I think that if we do it this year, it will be less about giving and the thought, and more about the moms going to the store, and the receving.

I haven't heard back from the leader, yet.

Denae

 

[keenercam]

Any possibility of doing a candy exchange? Everyone wrap and bring their favorite candy bar to exchange (emphasize regular size) and the leaders make hot chocolate or hot cider and everyone has dessert together there. Put a number on each candy bar and have the girls pick a number out of a hat, and that is the candy bar they get. Once they are all open, if anyone wants to exchange, they could do that.

 

[mickeyboat]

Any possibility of doing a candy exchange? Everyone wrap and bring their favorite candy bar to exchange (emphasize regular size) and the leaders make hot chocolate or hot cider and everyone has dessert together there. Put a number on each candy bar and have the girls pick a number out of a hat, and that is the candy bar they get. Once they are all open, if anyone wants to exchange, they could do that.

I would love that! It's a great idea. But we have a girl in our troop who is severely nut allergic, so we do almost no activities that involve food. And I am sure candy bars are a no no for her.

I would be petrified to let my child go anywhere if she were that nut allergic.

Maybe I can think of something like that, though.

Denae

 

[disneymom3]

DD is having a party next Friday night. We decided to do a gift exchange type of a thing, but I am providing all of the gifts. We will play the dice game to see who gets what. I don't suppose your troop could pick up gifts for each girl?

 

[mickeyboat]

Just to update. The leader decided to do an exchange of $1.00. She is buying some extras in case people forget. I went out last night after getting home from Maine and bought a couple of $1 craft kits at a fabric store.

She did mention in her email that she had received several suggestions from mothers about donating to Toys for Tots or the homeless shelter. She didnt' want anyone to feel bad if they could not bring something, and encouraged us to do it on our own.

Denae