Am I an evil mom????

[ivanova]

Okay, here's the deal. DH has a business trip (convention) to WDW March 9-15. Due to favorable circumstances, I have a chance to actually tag along this time around. This a full month before 12yoDD's spring break. I don't like the idea of taking her out of school for a full week for the following reasons:

1. she's in 7th grade, 3rd quarter ends 3/28.
2. she'd have a full week of school work given to her the Fri. before we leave (3/7). I can't see us spending 2-4 hours daily in the hotel room working on school work (when she'd rather be doing "cooler" stuff). I foresee a daily battle.
3. I might have to take her out of school for another full week to visit a dying relative in Washington state. If we were only talking one week, I might be talked into it. But 2 separate weeks in a 4 month period doesn't sit well with me.

So, am I an evil mother for having her stay a week with her grandparents so she won't miss school???

 

[kevind65]

IVANOVA: that's a tough call. As the kids are getting older, the prospect of pulling them out of school for a week becomes a much more difficult decision. On the other hand, I'm not sure my girls would ever forgive me if I went to the world and didn't take them along(for any reason)! I think it depends on what kind of student you dd is and how willing her teachers are to work with you. maybe she can do a little advanced work each week before so that she doesn't fall behind? It's probably doable, but, I understand your delima.

 

[goofyboi]

As someone in my 20's, i can see both sides. I don't think you are evil, but I do think you should pull her out. Just think of it this way... in 10 years when you both look back, is missing one week of school really going to affect the rest of her life- probably not... maybe people have to miss months of school because of illness etc. and it does not affect them.

BUT... in 10 years when you look back, you will remember the memories you shared with your daughter at WDW. Wouldn't rather have those memories, then having the memory of NOT taking your daughter out of school for a week and leaving her with her grandma...

I think the choice is obvious. If it ends up she has to miss another week of school, that is life- no one can predict what will happen... Teachers and schools are pretty accomadating for that sort of stuff. I hope I helped you out a little... Feel free to ask any other questions, and good luck.

 

[kaabost]

OUCH!!!!! Life is tough but ouch! If she likes Disney 1/2 as much as I did/do.....ouch! Kinda like rubbing vinegar in a paper cut. I do understand your concern however. I would leave it up to your DD. Let her know that she can go if and only if she maintains her grades above a set level. IF she is a good student, great, I'd let her go.

 

[pegasusEH]

It's a really tough decision and you are the one that will have to live with the guilt - guilt about taking her out of school or guilt for not taking her.

I would choose to take my son out of school any time. Life is too short and precious to miss magical moments - you can catch up on school work anytime if you are so minded.

Would you really enjoy yourself if you left her behind? I don't think I would.

How does your daughter feel, or are you waiting to make a decision before saying anything?

As for being an evil mom - not a chance. You have your daughter's best interests in mind whatever decision you come to.

How do schools over there feel about you taking kids out of school for holidays? It's generally frowned upon at my son's school but they permit you to take them out for up to two weeks as long as it is because the parents are taking annual leave from work.

 

[Disney Doll]

No

 

[Rneighh]

At your daughters age, seh won't want to go with much longer. If she is a good student take and enjoy your time her alone while hubby is off doing his business trip stuff.

My 14 year old 8th grader is being pulled from school for four days to go to the Mouse House. We always go during school and they survive. I would doubt that she would have that much work to do daily.

Renee

 

[TreeOfLife]

Being good or evil is irrelevant in this case.
You're the momma, period.

 

[Golter]

I also say leave it up to DD, my 12 year old DD missed a week of Junior High in October. She did the work and hasn't missed a beat. If your only reason for not taking them is school, I say take her.

If you plan to go again soon, a nice getaway just the two adults is always great. DW and I spent week there in Sept 00 sans kids. It was awesome.

 

[DisneyObsessed]

I know exactly how you feel. My son is definitely not your "good" student, but we have taken my kids out of school three years in a row. As others have said, life is just too precious and too short. I don't feel society puts enough value in "family life" anymore. Go as a family and enjoy. Yes, they learn stuff in school, but being together as a family teaches an awful lot also. JMO!

 

[jdkdorn]

We are going to WDW in 2 days and not taking DD 8 and DS 1. We went with the kids in October and are going with friends, who are attending a conference. When we went in October we decided that we would not pull our daughter from school for a vacation unless there was no other way to go. It took us a month to make up 8 days of missed school homework.

So don't feel bad about leaving her behind. There is one other option, talk to the teacher and find out what amount of work she would have to do. Many times near the end of the semester things are slow and she may not have a lot of homework to make up.

As a side note to the poster who stated that syour DD would not want to go in a few years, I can not remeber a time when I would not want to go to WDW. I have been going with my family to Disneyland since I was 5 and WDW since my teen. As a matter of fact, the trip we took in 2000 and in October 2002, we paid for my parent to go with us. You are never too old for Disney

 

[Puffy2]

Do you want to take her?

Does she want to go?

If both are "yes" then I'd do it.

If you don't want her along this time or she doesn't want to go, then don't it.


There are entirely too many "have tos" in this life - as long as you make up the work, this doesn't have to be one of them.

 

[ivanova]

Thanks for all of the responses!!

I'm leaning towards not taking her because it has been 10+ years since DH and I have taken a trip sans kid. This would be a nice change o' pace. Also there is the $$$ consideration -- my airfare will be free, we'd have to pay for her airfare .. plus her food .. and her park admission -- that all adds up rather quickly (probably $1,000+ total extra for the week to bring her along).

As for the question as to whether she wants to go .. of course (what kid in her right mind wouldn't) although she is also hesitant about missing school (possibly 2 full weeks with the other personal trip we might be facing soon) .. she really does love school.

 

[countrybears111]

I understand your point of view, but in my humble opinion, if my daughter wasn't able to go, I wouldn't go. Take a trip with your husband alone to a beach or a cruise, but not to disney world while your daughter stays home. That's just to harsh. I think your daughter will respect you a lot more if you sacrafice with her, instead of taking off without her. Again, just my humble opinion.

 

[goofyboi]

I agree... If you have a daughter, take her to disneyworld! when was the last time she was there? When would she be able to go again? If it's far away, I wouldn't hesitate to take her... It's really not a big deal to miss school for a week... if she loves school so much, then i'm sure she'll be fine making things up... Create some memories with your daughter that will last a lifetime...

 

[CarolMN]

You are not an "evil mom".

Moms and Dads deserve time to be alone together - it's good for the marriage and good for the children.

School is important. You DD is only 12 years old. If she's already been to Disney, she's already luckier than most children. There are many, many, many who have not gone and will never go. Your DD will have other opportunities. She will NOT be scarred for life or need therapy because her parents "done her wrong" by taking a trip to WDW without her!

OTOH, the world will not come to an end if you take her out of school - even if it ends up being two weeks in a four month period.

Do whatever you and your DH believe is right and no matter what you decide together, it will be right for your family. The only "evil" will be if you believe it when others tell you that you did something wrong.

Best wishes -

 

[dcwesley]

OK - So my view is against the crowd, but I say leave her with her grandparents.

1) There is value in parents having a vaction without the kids.

2) There is value in kids knowing they are not the center of the universe.

3) There is value in kids realizing that we don't just "ditch" responsibilites (school) becuase there is something cool we want to do.

4) She will not have the memories of this trip at Disney, but she will have memories of a week with her grandparents - which will be a treasure unto themselves. (I had a business trip to San Francisco which fell over Spring Break; I took my daughter - who was a senior - and her friend. My 16 year-old son got to go to Virginia with friends of the family. My 12 year-old - who was too young for me to take and leave onhis own while I was in meetings during the day - stayed home with his dad. I felt bad - the others of us off to have a good time - him stuck in Inidana. And you know what - he LOVED it - just the two guys - no sharing dad - speical unique memories.)

So from my vantage point - leave your daughter at home - without guilt. Let her grow a little bit and be glad that you and your husband are getting something special.

My two cents!

Debbie

 

[kilee]

I think it is really great for couples to have vacations together. BUT..... You are only going to have a few precious years left where your daughter is going to vacation with you. Also, we're talking about Disney here. Are you really going to be able to fully enjoy yourself knowing you didn't bring your kids? It's a tough call.

 

[ivanova]

Thanks Debbie for that perspective ... my in-laws are "getting up there" in age so the time she has to spend with them will be limited in the long run (and this summer she's spending the whole time out of state with my folks, and so not a lot of time with my husband's folks).

She has been to WDW before ... 2 weeks in April 2000 and 2 weeks in April 2002 ... we weren't planning on returning until 2004 or 2005, so that there'd be some "new" stuff to look forward to. The chance to go along on DH's business trip is a last minute deal, and I'm only going because of the free airfare. If I had to pop the $300-$450 for airfare in addition to food and park admission, I'd have to pass for financial reasons.

And being that we live in SoCalif she does get a regular "Disney fix" at DL and DCA.

 

[firstmickey]

Went with our kids in Sept for first time ever.

Going back with just my DH in few days.
Nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with just your husband.
We talked about a cruise or beach vacation while we planned our trip but the thing we both wanted to do was go back to Disney and experience things we missed since we had our kids with us.
There is nothing cruel or evil about leaving kids at home with people who will take good care of them.
Have a great time no matter what you decide to do.
Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for whatever you decide is right for your family

Donna