Am I a bad person?

[SoCalKDG]

I can't imagine not having my daughter with my on a trip to WDW. She just turned 4 and has been to WDW 3 times after going to DLR around 50 times. There is no comparison to the two. Half the fun I now enjoy at the parks is seeing them with her, and thankfully I have a 5 month old that I'll begin to experience this same joy with. DLR and WDW are not the same. If your oldest likes DLR, then they will love WDW.

I have no problems with people that take vacations away from their kids as long as they still take a couple 1 week vacations with them every year. I have two major vacations every year from work, and they are spent with the family. If I'm able to have another vacation besides those two, then the wife and I will go to Santa Barbara, Las Vegas, 3 day cruise, etc. for that alone time.

 

[Beca]

I have a SIL who would never leave her kids, even for an evening, to spend time with her husband. Her husband, feeling neglected and overlooked for years, is probably not going to stay in such a marriage.

Granted that's a pretty extreme example, and a little oversimplified, but illustrates my point that it is good for a couple to spend some alone time together.

I just had to jump in here. The problem with your SIL's family is that she and her dh did not make the choice together...it's not her choice itself. DH and I were married 10 years before we were blessed by our dd. We made a choice together, before she was born, that once we had a child....the family "together' would be the focus of our lives. She is 4, and we have had 1 "date" without her. We wouldn't have it any other way.

In a few years, she will be wanting to spend her Friday evenings with her friends, not us. We look at these as precious years....it really is only a short while that your children want to be with you more than anyone else.

Do I miss "dates"? A little. But, we have such limited "free time"...we choose to spend it as a family rather than a couple. This is not for everyone....people have to parent the way they see fit. One of our dd's best friend's family takes two vacations a year without her, and two vacations with her. We are THRILLED when we get to keep her with us...the more the merrier (hey, I ran a children's theatre for 5 years...I LOVE kids!!). I do not think my friends are bad parents...they are wonderful parents...we just see differently on this issue....that's cool.

But, I have to "jump in here" to say that parents who AGREE in their marriage to not go on "dates" or vacations alone, are not making the wrong choice when they choose to do this....they are doing what is right for the family. But, just like anything else in a marriage...both partners need to "buy in" to the lifestyle choices they are making.



Beca

 

[kjjlouie]

just make sure that you get a 1 bedroom so you have the jacuzzi to use for a little fireworks..wink..wink...

Anyone have a Barry White CD? Wow! Now it's starting to get a little personal. Hopefully, she won't lie about having one of these

 

[DebIreland]

Go for it! If your children were older and more aware of what WDW entails, I'd say it's a little bit mean or a LOT mean, lol! But they're so young, it won't negatively affect them one little bit. When my boys were 1 and 3, DH and I went to Paris for 3 days and spent one of those days in Disneyland Paris. It never crossed my mind to bring the boys with us, just because Disney was part of our itinerary. When we were planning our first WDW trip (last year) my eldest who is now 11 said something about it being everyone's first Disney trip and I said "well Dad and I were actually in Disneyland Paris when you and your brother were little". Well he nearly fainted. It turned into a running joke - THE TIME WE ABANDONED OUR TWO LITTLE BOYS TO HAVE A BLAST IN DISNEYLAND.

Now, even if we're going to the cinema by ourselves my boys will chime in with "oh we'll be fine here without you two, after all we survived NOT being brought to Disney". lol! Also, we spent a full day there but when I saw the shock on DSs face initally I said something like "hang on, it wasn't even a day, it was maybe two thirds of a day, nothing at all really". Now when it's mentioned I have it down to "maybe it was 10 minutes, if even that, it was awful, just AWFUL, what a horrible time we had".

No problem at all I'd say. Go and enjoy!

 

[rocketriter]

I know that some families do well taking littluns to Disney, but our kids weren't ready for the parks at the age of your kids. When our oldest turned 5, we took just him and left the younger one home with relatives. Even then, our son was pretty much overwhelmed for the first half of our visit. We took both kids when the younger turned 5 (she did fine) and have taken both ever since.

And before the oldest turned 5? We visited the parks ourselves every couple of years, just as we did before we had any kids at all.

We didn't feel any need to lie to anybody. Where we go and who we take is our business.

 

[shantay1008]

Go for it! If your children were older and more aware of what WDW entails, I'd say it's a little bit mean or a LOT mean, lol! But they're so young, it won't negatively affect them one little bit. When my boys were 1 and 3, DH and I went to Paris for 3 days and spent one of those days in Disneyland Paris. It never crossed my mind to bring the boys with us, just because Disney was part of our itinerary. When we were planning our first WDW trip (last year) my eldest who is now 11 said something about it being everyone's first Disney trip and I said "well Dad and I were actually in Disneyland Paris when you and your brother were little". Well he nearly fainted. It turned into a running joke - THE TIME WE ABANDONED OUR TWO LITTLE BOYS TO HAVE A BLAST IN DISNEYLAND.

Now, even if we're going to the cinema by ourselves my boys will chime in with "oh we'll be fine here without you two, after all we survived NOT being brought to Disney". lol! Also, we spent a full day there but when I saw the shock on DSs face initally I said something like "hang on, it wasn't even a day, it was maybe two thirds of a day, nothing at all really". Now when it's mentioned I have it down to "maybe it was 10 minutes, if even that, it was awful, just AWFUL, what a horrible time we had".

No problem at all I'd say. Go and enjoy!

LOL! You sound like us...it must be an Irish thing.

 

[shantay1008]

I know that some families do well taking littluns to Disney, but our kids weren't ready for the parks at the age of your kids. When our oldest turned 5, we took just him and left the younger one home with relatives. Even then, our son was pretty much overwhelmed for the first half of our visit. We took both kids when the younger turned 5 (she did fine) and have taken both ever since.

And before the oldest turned 5? We visited the parks ourselves every couple of years, just as we did before we had any kids at all.

We didn't feel any need to lie to anybody. Where we go and who we take is our business.

I think you hit the nail on the head...you have to know your kids and take their personalities into account when you make decisions.

But where did the "lying" part come in? I hope you're not talking about DebIreland. DS11 knows that they spent a whole day at Disneyland Paris...they're just being silly and pretending that they only spent 10 minutes there to "comfort" him. I thought it was funny.

 

[DarthGoofy]

We are going without the kids in May. I have told my DS6 that he will be at his DGMs house while mommy and I are gone. When he asked where we are going, I told him to DisneyWorld. He asked why he wasn't going and after I explained to him that this was just a trip for me and his mom, he said, "Oh, OK. You guys have fun. I can go next time."

Don't feel guilty. Enjoy the time you have to spend with one another.