Am I A Bad Parent???

[akhenaten]

My DD11 is in a classroom with a boy who just lost his father in a hunting accident the boy was right next to his father. This is the first year that she has been in with this boy (5th grade) and she wants to go to the funeral home with friends of hers tonight and I won't let her and now she is mad at me. We donated money at school for him and I bought her a nice sympathy card to mail to him. Would you let your child go to the funeral home????????


Please keep this boy in your thoughts and prayers my heart just breaks for him.

Yes, and I would go with her..... show her how to properly offer sympathy to the family.... I don't think I would let her go with just friends....

 

[Snoopymom]

There was a kid in my highschool who's mom had a terminal illness and took her own life. None of his friends were sure of what to do so they didn't go to the funeral, but there were 3 of us who were in one of his classes, not friends with him, nor friends with each other, and somehow we talked and decided to go together. He was so grateful to have us to just stand with and talk to during the whole thing. We all ended up kind of having this neat unusaul friendship afterwards, and I've always felt sort of strangely proud that we did that...

anyway, I say yes and be proud of her for wanting to support him.

 

[powellrj]

I'm sorry you decided not to take her. It would have been a wonderful learning experience for her and may have been a lifesaver for him.

When both of my in-laws died in the past year, a couple of my kids friends went to the showing and I have to say it was a godsend to have them there. There was nobody their age there and it was great that they had a few minutes to visit with their friends. These kids had never met my in laws, but they were there for my kids and I really appreciate their presence.

 

[creativelady]

While I did say that in that situation that I would let my child go, I do want to take a minute to stand up for the OP. That is a decision that they felt was right for their child and I think that is a personal choice that should be respected. I don't mean to be rude to anyone that disagrees with me, so I really hope it doesn't come across that way. I just want to say OP that I don't think you should let someone make you feel bad for your decision.

 

[jrmasm]

While I did say that in that situation that I would let my child go, I do want to take a minute to stand up for the OP. That is a decision that they felt was right for their child and I think that is a personal choice that should be respected. I don't mean to be rude to anyone that disagrees with me, so I really hope it doesn't come across that way. I just want to say OP that I don't think you should let someone make you feel bad for your decision.

I think you're exactly right. How we each handle death is very personal and varies greatly.

OP, I was in an almost indentical position as you last year with my DD 12. Her father and I did not allow her to attend the funeral. That was the best decision for OUR family.

 

[MichelleVW]

While I did say that in that situation that I would let my child go, I do want to take a minute to stand up for the OP. That is a decision that they felt was right for their child and I think that is a personal choice that should be respected. I don't mean to be rude to anyone that disagrees with me, so I really hope it doesn't come across that way. I just want to say OP that I don't think you should let someone make you feel bad for your decision.

Here's the thing, I don't think anyone is saying the OP is a bad parent, but she came on the board and questioned her own decision. This is a case of "if you don't want people's opinions don't ask".

 

[jrmasm]

Here's the thing, I don't think anyone is saying the OP is a bad parent, but she came on the board and questioned her own decision. This is a case of "if you don't want people's opinions don't ask".

I don't think giving an opinion is bad. I think telling her that she made the wrong decision and she apologize to her child is where a line was crossed.