Am I a bad mom?

[TinkerDaisy]

Just wanted to know what your opinion is I am married and have two sons age 7 and 2. We are going to Disney in may and we have decided to leave the 2 yr old with his grandmother. she is awsome with him and he loves it over there. Do you think I am a bad mom for not taking him? I think he is too little and will get too hot and melt down. He likes to run all over and won't sit in a stoller. He doesn't behave very well when we go to dinner, or shopping. We take him everywhere we go though to teach him how to behave. I don't think he will remember anyway and he will be scared to ride most of the rides, which might cheat my 7 yo out of alot of our attention. My 7 yo is absoultly thrilled we are going w/o the baby. I know he will have fun at his grandmas, and we are going back to WDW when he is five or six. So do you think I am a bad mom? Or a smart mom?

 

[ilovejack02]

Honestly at that age I would have left my little one home too!
Lets see what other folks think of us

 

[mjrich73]

I think staying at grandma's is a wonderful idea!! There is nothing wrong with wanting to give your 7yr old the most magical trip he can have! There can always be another trip as a family when the little one gets old enough to enjoy it.

 

[almburr]

Our first trip we took only the 2 oldest 3 stayed home. Next trip we took the next 2 left oldest 2 and youngest 1. The third trip in 2yrs it will be the youngest one only, Hes 2 now. Then in 3yrs I plan on taking them all.

There is nothing wrong with not taking the little one. When you decide to take him he will have a blast.

I didnt want the diaper bags, Plus I wanted to spend more one on one time with the older ones.

The kids that stayed at home while we were gone had a great time with grandparents.

You will probably get flamed by someone saying that it a family vacation and the whole fam. should go.yada yada, what ever. Its your family you do what you want to.

 

[MichelleVW]

I say you're a smart mom...you will miss him, but he will be having a blast with Grandma and he can go next time!!

 

[meandtheguys2]

Do what's best for your family. But a bit of advice...don't ask a bunch of strangers if you are a bad mom. Never a good plan.

 

[mom2aredhead]

I think its great that you realize your kids are different ages, have different interests, attention spans, limitations, and you're willing to treat them as individuals and not a "set" that doesn't come apart. Especially given their age difference. Since your little one is only 2, I'd bet that the past 2 years have been all about "the baby" and your older one will REALLY love the extra attention and special treatment.
I am the oldest of 3. If my 2 younger siblings were too young, too scared, too short, too small, etc. etc. to do something, unfortunately it was an all or nothing deal, so none of us could do it because it wasn't "fair". People think that "fair" means "same", and it doesn't.
I'm positive that people will judge - don't listen to them. Why postpone a magical time for your 7 year old - It's not like you're NEVER going to take the younger one...just not this time.

 

[Luv2trav]

I don't think you are a bad mom. Do what's best for your family! I couldn't leave my 2 year old at home. That just too old to be left behind in my opinion. I would leave all my kids before I would leave a 2 year old without us.....

 

[mom2aredhead]

I would leave all my kids before I would leave a 2 year old without us.....

Not flaming, just curious why it would be "FAIR" to the older kids to postpone or skip a trip, but not "FAIR" to the 2 year old to be left with a grandparent.

I'm a little biased because like I said, I was the oldest, so we could only do what accommodated the youngest one. I consider myself lucky that I went to Disney at all as a child, but my first (and only) trip was when I was 13 because that's when my parents decided that the youngest sibling was old enough to enjoy it.

I just don't understand why it would not be OK for older children to have a special vacation with their parents. Guess that's why I have an only child by choice.

 

[NU2WDW]

Of course it doesn't make you a bad mom but I must agree with the pp. For me, a family vacation means "the family". The thought of taking our 4 & 5 yr old but leaving our 2 yr old behind is unthinkable! JMHO

 

[livie1205]

your not a bad mom, we have issues with this also...we have 3 kids ds 9 dss 8 and dd1...we make a point of taking then ALL somewhere one time a year...but in sept. we are going with just the baby..why? the boys will be with there other parents doing things and they have both had the chance to go alone with just us and get that one on one time so this trip will just be about baby....and for mom and dad to relax...lol but we took all of them last time.

 

[hannah03]

I think you are a very smart mom. You are going to leave your 2 year old with someone who needs and wants to spend some quality time with him. You are going to be able to give some quality time and attention to your 7 year old. Both of your kids are going to be taken care of and NOT in the hands of strangers.

Have a great trip, whatever you decide

 

[NikP]

As long as you are thinking about what is best for "your" children, then don't consider yourself a bad mother. A bad mother wouldn't ask this question in the first place, because she would only be concerned with her own needs, not the needs of her children. Only you know what is best for your family. Don't feel guilty if you know your 2yr old will have a great time at the grandparents. You are giving them a gift to bond with your little one while he is still little.

 

[pweyl36]

We left my 2yr with his grandmom,and he never even missed us.Too this day he has no memory about not going to disney. Yes all those people who can't leave there kids for one minute will tell you they could never leave johnny or jane ,because its not a "family vacation " with out all my kids.Your son should have some fun time in disney with out having to go back to the hotel
so db can take a nap or miss the fireworks because db had a meltdown.Trust me your son will have a better time with grandma.Be sides you dont want to become a helicopter mom .

 

[gris gris]

Don't ask if you're a bad mom here! You'll find out that you are LOL! We left our son home when we went in December, he was only 4 months. We didn't even leave him with family for the whole time - he split his time between our friends house and my parents house. Anyhow it was really nice to spend some time alone with DD who was 4 at the time, she was such a good sister when her little bro arrived. But we missed the time we used to be able to spend with her. We missed him terribly, especially when we saw other babies. Have a great trip!

 

[mericletwins]

I don't think you are a bad mom. I couldn't/haven't left any of mine home from a Disney trip. At least not until they were old enough to make that decision for themselves. It is an all kids or no kids thing for us as far as Disney is concerned. Age two was the one of the best ages we found, BUT our kids are pretty easy going, would sit in strollers (and still do), were fairly well behaved in restaurants and the three of them are only 14 months apart. There is no clear delineation of age to justify one not going.

I say whatever works well for you, go for it. He's staying w/g-ma. You aren't leaving him under a rock.

I do agree with PP that you shouldn't ask a bunch of strangers if you are a good mom...just asking for trouble.

Plus, you already told your older one that the younger was not going. Even if people did tell you that you were all wrong, it would be, IMO, too late to turn back the tide once you had promised the older a sibling free trip.


As to the person who said that they were the oldest. I can't really relate since I am the youngest, but as each of us turned about 9 or 10 my parents took us on a trip with no siblings. We got to pick the destination (w/i reason). I wanted WDW, but was vetoed. I went to Williamsburg/VA area. My oldest bro did Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg and my other bro picked Cooperstown, NY/Niagra Falls. I plan to do that when my kids are a little older.

 

[vanillarum]

On our first trip in '98, our DS was 6 and our DD was 2. We left the 2 yo w/her daycare provider ( a woman I graduated highschool with). It was absolutely the right decision. We feel that at 2, most children will not remember much about the trip, and the added hassle of diapers, carriage, etc. would make a hectic trip more so. I know others disagree, but this is how we feel. Leave the young one at home. They'll be plenty of time for more trips. And have fun !!

 

[Tracie Wallace]

You're not bad (and not even drawn that way) - you're smart. Your youngest gets spoiled and has a great time with grandma and you get to spend some time with your oldest. Each will feel special. And I agree, a 2 year old wouldn't remember or appreciate Disney and you don't have to deal with having a toddler with you.

 

[dizkids]

YOUR NOT A BAD MOM~Just sound a bit insecure about a hard choice of leaving the baby behind. I personally wouldnt consider it because I see my family as package deal...we all go. I am too much of a baby myself to be without my baby....so maybe if I was strong enough i could have done it. I would get all sappy and sad seeing all the other baby's that it would ruin my trip. My kids are 10/8/5 now and there were many trips when the youngest was still in the stroller and we were left in the dust because we did not all get on the same rides.

YOU ARE A GOOD MOM for leaving him with a loving grandparent. If that is your plan than stick to it. Good luck

 

[RayJay]

Just wanted to know what your opinion is I am married and have two sons age 7 and 2. We are going to Disney in may and we have decided to leave the 2 yr old with his grandmother. she is awsome with him and he loves it over there. Do you think I am a bad mom for not taking him? I think he is too little and will get too hot and melt down. He likes to run all over and won't sit in a stoller. He doesn't behave very well when we go to dinner, or shopping. We take him everywhere we go though to teach him how to behave. I don't think he will remember anyway and he will be scared to ride most of the rides, which might cheat my 7 yo out of alot of our attention. My 7 yo is absoultly thrilled we are going w/o the baby. I know he will have fun at his grandmas, and we are going back to WDW when he is five or six. So do you think I am a bad mom? Or a smart mom?

Everyone must do what feels right for them, you are not a bad Mom.

Now us, we took Tyler at age 1, age 2, age 3.......... age 1 no problem, everyone loved him. Age 2 well lets just say the people 2 tables down from us at Planet Hollywood were not to happy when macaroni and cheese was being flung at them. Oh the characters loved him. Age 3 the only way to describe this trip was "NIGHTMARE" between him and his sister I didn't think we would make it.

Age 4 trip coming up next week during Easter, he is currently in the screaminggggg mode at the smallest thing said to him, so this should be real fun. Now we also said we wouldn't let him slow us down, but one trip home with grandma and Pop Pop wouldn't have been a bad idea either.

Have a great time, and if you see us by the pool with 2 screaming kids, that's me.

RayJay