Am I a Bad Father???

[jakoky]

First, I SO do not think you are a bad father...you may not get back on another ride for awhile though...I have always been pretty up front with my kids...i am also a believer that kids need to try things, and we can reinforce their fear by not getting them to try new things....my kids went on everything and anything when they were young, i was lucky this way...my explanation would have been similar, but i would thrown in the "funny" ghosts and losing your tummy with all the ups and downs, along with "keep your eyes open at the top when the doors open, it is so cool, you can see all of disneyland...anyways, not a bad parent...
sharon

 

[Mugglemama]

bad father? impossible to answer without actually knowing you.

now, was that a bad-dad-move? imho, definitely!

if you ever want your children to respect you, then they have to be able to trust you.

 

[Krissy Marissy]

Was it a great dad moment? No, fairly selfish...yes. But will be get over it? Yes. I remember things my parents did to me as a child I didn't like but I got over it. When he grows up he will too. And like others said...I used to have that face after sitting on santa's lap. Still do.

 

[fairycat]

If you are a bad Dad I am a TERRIBLE friend. I really, really, really thought my friend who is a total ride wimp (a fact which became more clear when she told me some of the rides that scared her after the ride was over), would like Scream'n if she just rode the ride.

The look of terror and of needing to puke on her face after the ride was over told me how very, very wrong I was.

My parents and most parents tell you how not bad/scary a ride is so you will give it a try. Most of us end up liking the ride sometimes it doesn't happen.

My sister and I were forced on HM, we HATED the elevator and I had a terrible fear of the busts that follow you (I still get freaky by that trick), but once on the ride we loved it. Sometimes its hard to say what is best for kids, but in the end you just try to do your best.

 

[Casken]

Wow, you got some tongue lashing by some of the ladies on this board.

Your choice was not the greatest one but I think your son will be fine. I don't think it'll scar him forever. One day he will laugh at it with you. That's what I think.

Bad father? No. Just made a mistake. Don't we all?

 

[mechurchlady]

I am joking of course and in the long run one incident will not scar the kid. I think some of us joke about this as it really is not a big deal and you learned your lesson the hard way. I hope it was not expensive.

Next time try explaining that you will be on a free fall ride where you get to be weightless like austronauts.

 

[bzkds]

Ok well, I wouldn't just laugh it off. I took my (now 18) 7 year old on Space Mountain. He cried the entire time and has not gone on a roller coaster since. None. He hates going to Disneyland. Not that it's entirely because I took him on a ride he wasn't ready for, but it sure has put a damper on some of our family outings since then!

Beth

 

[aurorae]

I think it is best to explain the ride to the child ahead of time, and let them decide. At least with the younger ones.

We were in WDW with an almost 5 year old last year, and I tried to do a good job of explaining things ahead of time, and trying to avoid things that would be too scary.

I probably got a little carried away, though, because I was explaining the show in front of the castle we were waiting to see, and telling her that Mickey would win over the wicked witch in the end, and she looked at me with that 5 year old you are a doofus look and said: "it's only a play!"

 

[marsrunner]

Yes, that's just not very nice. I always explain to my 5-year old daughter ahead of time exactly what's going to happen on the ride and let her decide. She doesn't have to ride anything she doesn't want to and I don't try to entice her onto anything.
Luckily, I don't have to, because as long as she doesn't get too wet (Splash Mountain is the limit, no Grizzly River Run for her!) she's fine. Her favorite ride...Tower of Terror! That's my little daredevil!

 

[LavenderPeach]

I'm sure your son will be fine although maybe more leery of trying new rides for awhile.

Since we're sharing stories about reluctant kids I'll share one about DH. When DH was little, (he doesn't remember exactly how old but I'm guessing in the 5-7 age range), his family wanted to go on Space Mountain. He didn't really want to go but he went anyway and when they got to the front of the line the CM told him he had to ride with his brother even though DH really wanted to ride with his mom. Well, he got scared during the ride and actually climbed out of his seat to try to get to the seat behind him where his mom was. He didn't actually make it over the back of the seat but he sure wasn't being held in by the restraint! I can't believe he didn't get hurt or killed! His mom of course, was freaked out, to say the least.

I'm not trying to scare anyone. I only tell that story because I can't believe DH did that! Crazy. DH loves Space Mountain now and thanfully stays in his seat when he rides it.

 

[SilentFeline]

Wow, some people are really being hard on you! I wouldn't say that this incident makes you a bad father. My dad did something similar to me with SM. I was just the right height to go on it, but was terrified to go on any roller coasters. I'm the youngest of 2 children and he and my sister loved roller coasters, so he couldn't wait for me to start riding them. My dad told me that SM wasn't a roller coaster, and that I would see fun space scenes. I was scared at first but I ended up loving it, and have been a coaster fanatic ever since.

I think in these situations, it's best to really evaluate how your child will react. If you think he/she will truly love it, I don't think it's such a bad idea to stretch the truth a little. It's just about really knowing your children, I suppose. I don't think your son will be scarred forever though. Now, if the ride had malfunctioned while you were on it, that may have been a different story.

 

[MickeyManiac]

OT- If being a BYU fan doesn't make you a bad dad, then nothing will!!!

That avatar looks like Mickey is trying to change that into a UTAH helmet. Go UTES!!!!

In my family we just try to laugh about it once the trauma has worn off. We'd get some serious mileage off that picture. He'll be fine. Anyone who is a parent has done something similar at one time.

 

[madaboutpooh]

I basically did the same thing to my daughter when she was five and she is now 12 on the TOT. It has taken me a very long time to get her to go on certain rides. She still will ride any of the roller coaster rides and I no longer make her on any ride she is not comfortable with.

 

[Corpsebride]

Well, I bet you won't do something like that again right? The thing I think you should do is put yourself in your kids shoes.
1. he is super excited to go to Disneyland.
2. He is super stoked that he will be going with you.
3. Now take all that excitement and turn it into disappointment because this giant wonderful thing has been turned into a kind of dirty trick.
Sorry dude, but to me, you kind of messed up. Why turn what should be a ton of wonderful DISNEY memories into something scary.
I , like another poster said, don't know if you are a bad dad based on this one thing, but I am sure you feel pretty bad.
I have to agree, he may not trust you on the simplest things now. So in the future when you tell him its just a simple ..... and he freaks out, just remember, its on you. So be gentle and forgiving. If you are unable to do that, then , yes, that makes you a bad dad. Sorry to say, but you may have paved a path you will have to be willing to walk on.
To rectify the situation I would just be honest with him. Tell him you messed up. Tell him you thought he could handle it. Tell him its okay that he didnt like it and freaked out. Hes a little boy. And its okay to be scared. An ice cream sundae for dinner and a good shopping trip to the toy store along with a verbal apology is a good start too. And if he is mad at you, let him verbalize it. Let him know its okay to get it off his chest. That way he will know that everyone is allowed to have feelings and work them out.
Good luck!

 

[fairycat]

Seriously you never know with kids. We went for my friend's Granddaughter's Birthday she was 8. She was a little nervous about some of the rides but she begged to go on Grizzly Rapids. We went with her Grandma on one side and another friend on the other side of her. She was having a great time, all smiles and excitement, until we hit the "cave". She freaked out!!!! She did what LavenderPeach's DH tried to do but she was trying to go for the open side next to her to get out of the tube. My friend snagged her and got her back in her seat. Grandma had to death grop her the rest of the ride. It was scary!!! After that she was only taken on small kid's rides and they were not sure she could be trusted on those!!

Now a few years later she loves all the rides at DL! She is crazy for the big rides! And I think if not for her disability she would ride every rollercoaster out there. She is a case of parents thinking there kid was ready and then finding out they are not. Kid's are tough!! Some days they love stuff and the next they are scared of their shadows, you just never know.

 

[Mugglemama]

OT- If being a BYU fan doesn't make you a bad dad, then nothing will!!!

That avatar looks like Mickey is trying to change that into a UTAH helmet. Go UTES!!!!

In my family we just try to laugh about it once the trauma has worn off. We'd get some serious mileage off that picture. He'll be fine. Anyone who is a parent has done something similar at one time.

no, actually, anyone who is a parent has NOT done something similar at one time. and as far as getting "mileage off that picture"....it's pretty sick to think there are parents out there who not only intentionally trick their own children into frightening situations, but then humiliate them afterwards.

people should have to earn a license to reproduce, seriously.

 

[MickeyManiac]

no, actually, anyone who is a parent has NOT done something similar at one time. and as far as getting "mileage off that picture"....it's pretty sick to think there are parents out there who not only intentionally trick their own children into frightening situations, but then humiliate them afterwards.

people should have to earn a license to reproduce, seriously.

WOW! I was simply trying to lighten this thread up a bit. I imagine the poor guy feels bad enough. I know things can come across different than how they were ment when written but you really misunderstood what I was saying. I would NEVER intentionally scare or humiliate my child. But I do find with my child atleast, we usually end up laughing about things later. (sometimes MUCH later). And I'm sorry, but I'm sure that every parent has made a mistake with their children. No one (not even parents) are perfect.

 

[Mugglemama]

WOW! I was simply trying to lighten this thread up a bit. I imagine the poor guy feels bad enough. I know things can come across different than how they were ment when written but you really misunderstood what I was saying. I would NEVER intentionally scare or humiliate my child. But I do find with my child atleast, we usually end up laughing about things later. (sometimes MUCH later). And I'm sorry, but I'm sure that every parent has made a mistake with their children. No one (not even parents) are perfect.

mistakes? absolutely. but doing something similar to what this guy did? not EVEN!

 

[Leofoenget]

I took my 7 year old son on Tower of Terror. In order to entice him to go on the ride, I told him that it was "just an elevator ride." Am I a bad father for stretching the truth just a little bit about the ride?

Here is my son after the ride:

I would not have done that. If I thought my child would not like the ride I would have let him stay with mom/another adult and go it alone. Why lie to him was there a reason? It's a scarry ride. I told my son what it was all about and he made his own decision. I never felt the need to trick him. Bad father? probably not. Poor judgement probably yes.

 

[Teki]

Bad father I wouldnt say so, maybe not the best way to handle it, but hey if it were that easy to get my sister on it I would have done it to. For all you knew he could have loved it. Better luck next time.

Edit: My sister is twelve though.