Am I a bad daughter?

[megrod74]

We are going to WDW next week with my dad and staying in a 2BR. I am not charging him for the room at all but he wanted to pay for the rental car ($130). After reading the other thread about treating parents, I am starting to feel guilty about this. Should I have said don't worry about it?

 

[JimC]

If your Dad offered say thank you, it is much appreciated but not necessary. If he says he wants to then give him a big hug and accept it.

 

[PCFriar80]

I don't think so. One good turn deserves another! When someone does something nice for us, I feel the need to reciprocate. It doesn't need to be a
"one for one" but something that says thanks! I'll assume that your parents
are able to handle it financially and with that said let it go! You'll probably encounter similar situations around joint breakfasts or dinner, so be prepared.
And if it becomes too much simply split the checks.....down the middle....none of this itemizing stuff! Have fun and good luck!

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

I don't think so either. He wants to pay for the rental car and I know myself personally, sometimes it is easier to enjoy yourself when you know you have contributed something towards a trip even if that something is not required.

Have a great trip!

 

[katedrew94]

If I were the one going to stay with a DVC member, I would feel really uncomfortable if they didn't let me pay for anything. I would certainly want to contribute because taking me would mean that they wouldn't be able to use those points for themselves another time.

 

[megrod74]

I know myself personally, sometimes it is easier to enjoy yourself when you know you have contributed something towards a trip even if that something is not required.
QUOTE]

That is how I am too which is why I didn't put up much of a fight, I guess I learned it from him I was just wondering if I should have been more generous.
We gave him a break on tickets and will probably pay for his golf (with the DVC discount of course!)

Thanks for all the input.

 

[LoveWDW]

I agree. If he can afford it and offered, he will feel good about contributing. You should be able to determine if it is a hardship or not, and if it is, then help him out other ways that would save his face. But I'd almost say, not that it needs to be said, that it should always be referred to around him as the trip that you all went on, and not the trip that you treated your Dad to, so that he feels that he has done his share. Does this seem sensible?

 

[Laurajean1014]

You are not a bad daughter. And your Dad is being helpful.

However, if you feel different about it, then just politely tell him that you got a great rate and wanted to pay for it. Tell him, it's his job to have a great and relaxing time with the people who love him the most.

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

I know myself personally, sometimes it is easier to enjoy yourself when you know you have contributed something towards a trip even if that something is not required.
QUOTE]

That is how I am too which is why I didn't put up much of a fight, I guess I learned it from him I was just wondering if I should have been more generous.
We gave him a break on tickets and will probably pay for his golf (with the DVC discount of course!)

Thanks for all the input.

It is a circle... ... we don't like for our parents to pay anything when we go together...but then I know when our children are older and we all go together, we will want to pay our fair share and not have them "treat" us. Sometimes it is just better to receive thankfully than put up a fuss.

Also, there will also be other ways for you to "reimburse" him during the trip. I know in our case, since it was just my mom, when we ate out, we were not going to get separate checks and it wouldn't have been fair to go half since she was only one, so we just told her it was covered. The stinker kept track of each of her meals though and just reimbursed us in other ways that we could not say no too.

So see it really can be a circle.

 

[byoung]

Let Dad pay if he wants.

 

[DVCconvert]

Consider yourself "lucky"....my Mom could pay for "everything"...yet at her advanced years....I can't get her to even GO.....I don't think you are a 'bad child'

 

[megrod74]

I feel a lot better now!

btw, it will not be a hardship for him.

LoveWDW - good point about the semantics!

I didn't really think I was a "bad" daughter but was afraid I was being a little selfish.

 

[bobbiwoz]

I think you are gracious to accept the "thank you" gesture.

Bobbi

 

[Beach_Bound9]

Bad daughter??? Well certainly not because of this simple interaction involving the reciprical nature of human relations. Your probably helping him feel more comfortable with the trip, that he can help return part of the favor and a nice way to say thank you. I would imagine he'd also spring for some of the meals. Enjoy, and have a wonderful trip. If your worried, start reading some of the moocher threads and the ill feelings they cause, your doing wonderfully. Enjoy.

 

[Dean]

I'll simply agree with the rest. Letting him pay for the car will allow him to keep his self respect while still taking advantage of your generous gift. Don't be surprised if he offers to pay for other things like a family meal, groceries or the like. You may want to decide ahead of time how to handle that situation. I'd use your personal circumstances, his and your usual relationship to guide you in how you handle all of these issues.

We took my mom on a cruise this summer and paid for everything. We wouldn't let her pay for a thing. But her situations is that she simply doesn't have the resources to do that and we do. I would have loved to have felt comfortable letting her pay for a few items just so she felt like she contributed but she simply doesn't have the funds to do so, even with our help along the way.

 

[dianeschlicht]

Of course not! You are giving him a great trip, and he is showing his gratitude by paying for a rental car.

 

[pplasky]

Absolutely not. We've taken parents with us. While we did not expect anything for the room, we did let them pick up the grocery tab and a couple of meals when they offered. I think the difference is in the asking/expecting as opposed to them offering. I would think most parents/friends/relatives who are staying in the accomodations for free would pick some of the expenses elsewhere.

 

[MrGrumpy222]

If I were the one going to stay with a DVC member, I would feel really uncomfortable if they didn't let me pay for anything. I would certainly want to contribute because taking me would mean that they wouldn't be able to use those points for themselves another time.

I feel the same way as Kate. JMHO

 

[megrod74]

Everyone here is so nice! Isn't it fun to share our DVC with those who haven given so much to us?

 

[rocketriter]

You're not a bad daughter, and you should never decide ANYTHING about family based on guilt. Remember that parents are used to ruling the roost and may be uncomfortable about turning into dependants. When you refuse their offer to chip in even a little bit, you risk communicating to them that they're not in charge any more or that you don't think they can afford that little bit. Either message could hurt their feelings.