In anycase, it is hard to read someone's tone on email. I really wasn't trying to be mean spirited when I said I was surprised. I really was just surprised they were not aware of it because they had allergies. I do not think your comments about me being mean-spirited were necessary or called for. I do not think you have stated that you yourself have an allergy, which maybe explains why you do not understand that I was surprised a person WITH allergies was unaware of that fact. That is not necessarily something I would think the general public might be aware of. But someone with more than one allergy would probably know.
I do want to say it is very nice of you to be accommodating with guests with allergies. Not even all of our close relatives are that helpful. We always have a secret stash of food with us though for those unknown situations! lol
I do have allergies which is why I don't question folks who SAY they have them and then communicate what their limitations are. Lord knows that especially with my grass allergy, things would be much better if folks stopped mowing their lawns. I have no idea what could happen, but it stops me breathing in my tracks (but not an an asmatic sense--almost like I'm choosing not to inhale--but the stench is so bad and the reaction is instant that it's like I think I can stop the allergens if I stop breathing--dumb I know...but it is not a fun allergy!)
Having been to the allergist for the several times in the past 18 months as we explore what works and what doesn't--one thing I have learned is that there are variances in allergies of all kinds.
I don't remember my issue when you quoted that poster nor was I defending any of her prior comments. I simply was sharing my experience with PA peeps and my own experience unmentioned experience with my own allergies.
I am not trying to downplay but rather report on those whom I knew. Certainly they trust their allergist with their kids life and aren't walking around playing russian roulette with nut products.
I've had cats all my life--and I'm allergic to those also. Some folks have lethal allergies. I've not been told yet by my allergist that I have to get rid of them.
Peanut allergies are tricky--but it makes it hard to compromise on the topic when (in my experience) there are folks who go with the flow and there are others who choose not to or absolutely cannot that it is easy to see why some folks would be confused. (See one of my other PA stories below--more confusion!)
A friendly explanation is all that is needed.
I'm puzzled why mom couldn't pick up the peanut trash herself, but it is the skeptical side of me who is believing that is all the FAs did once she was off the plane. It is what the people I know would do and not meant to imply that I think she was rude not to.
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I will say I would be in a most definitive pickle myself. My son has a speech issue that makes it difficult to communicate. So if he doesn't understand something--we have WWIII. He is a super picky eater. He won't eat fruit to save his life or much anything else. It is a challenge sometimes to get him to eat and one of the things he loves is Peanut Butter. Sometimes it is all he will eat.
We are at a gym where I cannot bring any nut products in, so we make do as the gym is a couple of hours max. No biggie.
But sometimes flying is more than a couple of hours of an inconvenience.
It is tough for me b/c my son is so picky and the alternative very well may be for him to go hungry. It may cause folks to go deaf if he can't understand why he can't have food when he wants his Ba-Ba (peanut butter). Given that he is only 2, surely the flight will understand should that occur if we were to go 100% peanut free on flights.
I don't try to make fusses--but it certainly is a challenge for me when my son has his own issues. While not lethal--he doesn't have a clue of what that means.
So an airtran cross country flight--I'd surely be taking my chances if the flight were 100% peanut free. I'd be screwed.
It is something I am working on--but it does make me wonder...whose rights are more importan, you know? It really isn't a big deal--but some things aren't as cut and dried as a grown woman being able to survive a flight without consuming a peanut.
The only other place peanut products of any kind are not permitted is when we go to the allergist for me and DD for her allergies and we can make do for the 30 minute visit.
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Funny Delta alert:
I remember traveling with my husband in 1999 on Delta and I was looking forward to my usual honey roasted peanuts. They (at the time) no longer had them according to the FA due to PA's and this snack was so that everyone could have it--even PA. Except that the snack mix had peanuts in it.

Makes you wonder who made that call. I did survive the flight without my snack though since chex mix and copycats is icky. But hopefully so did the PA folks on the flight who still couldn't eat the dang snack.
Odd that in 10 years they still can't figure it out.
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One other note that perturbs me are the unspoken nut allergies.
We had been taking piano for 6 months AT LEAST and my DD always played before this little girl. My children on numerous occasions had peanut butter products, no big deal. Even a few times we have brought lunch to the instructors house (she allowed it) and ate while one was playing.
One day--my kids had had almond butter at home--and unfortunately I hadn't noticed that they missed a bit in clean up. The mother FREAKED OUT. Not in a bad way, but like she was shocked at the possibility that other kids would be consuming nut products. She homeschools, but I have no idea if that is the reason. But if it is, all the more reason to be vigilant with the activities you do participate, no?
I felt kind of bad--probably more so than I should have b/c the errant nut butter was an accident and most importantly--she told noone.
So suddenly (after 6 months mind you!) of carefree and not following up--suddenly the piano had to be clorox wiped after my daughter's played. This was not a new allergy--it was pre-existing. She just didn't think to notify the piano instructor who then could have notified us.
It kind of almost made me feel dirty. I know why she did it--but it was just an odd sudden change of behavior when it should have been that way all along.
They played for the next year and she ended up quitting anyway. But we see them gymnastics and one thing is for certain. The place is not peanut free and they are not scrubbing down her equipment before she gets on it. Ton's of kids are on this equipment all day long and of course there is no way to be 100% sure that everyone is cleansed and peanut free prior to use it.
(They have a snack bar and the gym even sells the little crustless PB&J sandwiches--so PB is in the facility!)
It's ambivilance like that that gives me pause to wonder--it's either a serious allergy or it isn't. Make up your mind! (this mom--not directed at the mom's here!)
Sorry for the length!