Allowing kids to bring a friend

[Telcogirl]

Everyone has presented such great perspectives on this! That's why I LOVE DIS.

When I originally asked for opinions on what you had paid for, I was looking to see if food and room were appropriate. Since DF has traveled with us in the past, his family has always offered to pay 100% of his expenses. This time, we want to kick in a little on his behalf. Like I said this will be their senior year, so this will be like a gift to the both of them. Also, with boys, I don't think we will have as much of the drama as some of you other generous families have had with bringing your DD friends.

And, yes, we will be eating at a lot of buffetts!!!!!!!!

Thanks so much, this is a great topic and hopefully more experiences will be posted on this thread!

 

[nicolita3]

We had a bad experience too. When I was younger my family went and we invited one of my friends (13 years old) and my family footed the bill. I had warned her when we go that we go a little comando style. She had said it would be fine and she was excited to go. Once we get there we wake up early to got to the park, she would cry because she thought it was to early in the morning we would go and we would wait in line for a ride and she would be so upset because we would have to wait 15-20 minutes for a ride and she would start crying again, so needless to say we never invited friends unless we new them real well.

 

[disykat]

I won't let my kids bring friends on our family vacation. If my child gets asked along on a trip, I might see letting him go if it was being mostly paid for by the family inviting. Otherwise, it would just be a no. Honestly, I can't see an invitation like that even happening for my kids. It's one thing to bring another child camping or to a beach cabin, but something pricier involving airplanes and theme park tickets? That kind of thing just doesn't happen in my circles.

I consider us to be reasonably well off financially, but we do have a finite amount to spend on family vacation and we'll spend it on that - not sending our kids on someone else's vacation or bringing other kids with us. All of our friends are in the same category. They have money, but probably wouldn't jump at dropping $600 + to send their kids on someone else's vacation.

 

[hbg4]

I brought my DD11 and friend age 11 with us in October.
My dd and Df had arranged the trip amongst themselves so I gave df mum adequate notice so that they could save.
DF was responsible for the 3/4 of the airfare, all her pocket money and for 1/2 of the DP and park tickets.
I upgraded from the studio I was initially booked in with DD to a 1 BR DVC villa, and rented a fullsize car instead of using ME. I provided a fully cooked breakfast every morning and used my discount perks to enable DF to get her souvenirs for less.
We sacrificed doing only the things that we enjoy at the parks to accommodate DF, especially at MNSSHP ie less candy collecting and seeing the Halloween characters, for more rides.
Unfortunately DF was unable to keep up with my comando style of getting out of the villa on time and touring the parks with minimal waiting.
It took on average 2 hrs to leave the villa daily, 20 minutes bathroom breaks and a very selfish attitude by DF when she wasn't allowed to wait in a hr long line or missed a ride because we ran out of time since we got to the park late.
DD said that DF did enjoy herself, but I had no thanks from the child during the whole trip or her mother since I've returned.
The whole trip has made me wary of taking someone elses child with us on another Disney trip. I'm there to make their trip complete and memorable. Not to feel frustrated or that I'm wasting my time.
Next time if DD invites a friend she will have to be old enough to do it independantly so that I can take it easy and relax in the villa with no time factor concerns.

 

[sbakersub]

We took DD's BFF with us on our trip earlier this month. Although I would have been happy to split the costs with her family, I paid for everything -- airfare, park ticket, food, and souvenirs -- since BFF's family is in no situation to do so.

So it was costly, but it worked out really well...we'd all do early morning in the parks, then if the girls wanted to go on their own after lunch or back to the resort to swim, they could, then we'd all go back to the parks again in the evening. My DD was much happier with her friend to enjoy it with and her BFF was very appreciative and cheerful the whole trip. In fact, it was BFF that made sure DD was out of bed in time for us to make rope drop each morning. I also felt it was much safer for two 16 yr.olds to be "on their own" at WDW than just having my very independent DD try to go it alone, which would have engendered arguments and sulking that we avoided with BFF along.

And I talked to DS and DD before we made the invitation, so they knew bringing DD's BFF along would mean a much skimpier Christmas for them -- but both agreed it would be great to have her along (and it was).

 

[Princess Roo]

I used to go skiing with my best friend's family in high school. They always offered to cover room and food and my parents and I split the cost of the lift tickets/rentals. (We drove, so airfare wasn't an issue.)
Personally, I think you SHOULD play for room and food and then for airfare and park tickets it's really up to what works for you.
I also agree with what others have said about setting expectations for "family time" if that's important to you. Whether it's "we spend at least the first and last days mostly together and one meal the other days" or "dinners every day" or whatever...

 

[mom2aredhead]

My son is an only child, so I see LOTS of trips in our future where we will have a friend with us. He's only 4 now, so I have a little time. (Although he did ask to bring all of his school friends to the beach with us this summer - there were only 11 of them!)

We invited my husband's 17 year old niece to come with us in Dec. Room was paid for, and we were going to cover her DDP/food and MVMCP tickets (total of about $300) She would have to buy her airfare and park tix (about $350 total - she does work p/t so it would be mostly her money, not my sis-in-law).
She decided to spend the $350 on a new coach pocketbook instead.

 

[noahdove]

I think it's great that you are willing to bring a friend along. I agree that the friends parents should pay for airfare and parkhopper ticket. the friend should also have his own spending money If you offer to pay for anything else that would be a bonus...I agree with eating altogether for meals, I would also hope they would join you for parades, wishes, Illuminations and fantasmic if you do all those things enjoy

 

[kddlm]

We brought DS's BF with us in August and it worked out so well he is coming with us again this April. There is a 5 year difference between DS (13) and DD (7 1/2) and it just makes it much easier so everyone can enjoy doing what they like to do. The friends parents paid for his airfare and park hoppers (which I ordered for him from UndercoverTourist). They gave DH a few hundred dollars to be used towards food and incidentals, but we did not use it and gave it back upon returning home. The child also had some spending money of his own for souveniers, etc.... (which he probably only used a small portion of). My DS practically lives at his house most of the time during the summer, so it is probably a wash with what they put out for him over the summer for food, etc...

Just one bit of advice......be sure to get a notarized Medical Authorization letter from the parents just in the unlikey (God forbid) chance the child needs treatment. I can send anyone the one we used if you want a sample. Thank goodness we didn't need it, but we had it "just in case"!

 

[rk5798]

I would permit it when our children are older as long as they pay there way. When I was about 12 my parents let me bring my best friend with us for 2 weeks a Disney at we had the best time. She paid for all her food and souvenirs and I think we covered the hotel since she was under 17. I think her parents somehow wrote a note or something giving her special permission to use the credit card for those 2 weeks(it was actually giving my parents permission). You would have to have them check with the credit card company. Like I said, I was 12 so that was like 20 years ago. Anyway, go ahead and let them bring a friend!

 

[cigarboo]

I took my DS5's little girlfried, also 5 at the time to Disney for a week. I've been close friends with her mother since they were babies. Yes, we were both insane, but it worked out really nicely. I paid for lodging, airfair, tickets and food. She brought a couple hundred dollars for souvenirs. In return, my friend dogsat my dog for the week, so it was a great deal for me. In this situation, her parents weren't able to afford a Disney trip for the whole family of 5 and we really wanted her to be able to do Disney before she outgrew the princesses. It would have never worked with any other child...This little girl was so independent, got herself up and dressed every morning. Looking back now, we(the mom's) are so glad we did it, because she's almost 7 now and have abandoned the princesses, but she still loves looking at all the pictures. Plus she's turning into a real girl and DS7 has turned into a girl avoiding boy.

I know this has nothing really to OP's questions, but reading all the experiences just made me want to chime in.

I don't foresee bringing any of 2 DS's friends anytime soon. Maybe when they are teenagers and I know the friend's family REALLY well. I think providing lodging and food is more than generous in most situations. If the expectation is to float the entire trip for the friend, then I think I would pass. I do think the other family should have some stake in the planning, because it really stinks to have someone back out last minute because they changed their mind. I've had that happen several times on concert/show tickets where I just had to take the loss of the unused ticket. I would be so irked if that happened with a trip/airfare. But like all matters of finance, all expectations should be discussed beforehand. As long as both sides are happy, then it's great.

I think OP's situation is ideal, DF is someone they have travelled with before and his family is willing to pay. Gives me the impression that both families just really want their DS's to have a great time together. Have a great time!

 

[rwrocksme]

DD's "BFF," as they call it (teenagers! oi!), has been to Disney with us twice. The first time was when they were in the 4th grade, and it was NOT a fun trip. However, we went again the next year, and they still talk about how fun it was.

Another friend came out from California last year, and we took her to Disney. When it was over, they both cried because we had to leave.

Next summer, it will be DD and 3 friends for her Sweet 16. Which really scares me, but I think that at this age, they will be really good.

 

[tlbwriter]

I think if anyone is considering taking a child they don't know well and haven't travelled with, it might be a good idea to do a trial run before your WDW vacation... go for a weekend out of town, local amusement park, something like that.

 

[hbg4]

I agree. Go on a day outing first or something.
Unfortunately I was not fully aware of the extent of the problems that my DD's BF had at home or with obeying instructions from her parents. My DH knew there was something because he was mortified when I said I'd be taken her along with us. I thought he was over reacting.
well I found out the hard way.