Allowance for a 13, almost 14 year old?

[2TxAgs]

What do you mean by saying you are "amazed"? Are amazed that people can afford $25 a week, or are you amazed that people choose to give $25 a week?

I'll go along with hsmamato2 on the 'amazed' part - relative to people choosing to give young teens that amount. It certainly isn't surprising I guess, given that we're told what a huge market teens are, but I do think $100/month for a teen is way too much.

We live in the suburbs, my kids are involved in sports and other school activities, but they are already working (ref'ing soccer matches) to make $. At 12 and 15, no way would I be giving them $100/month to spend for their wants. I don't even spend $100/month on extras for ME! They need to learn to choose between their wants, learn to wait and save, and sometimes have to tell friends 'no' when invited somewhere. That's part of life.

These are just my thoughts, and as we've seen many times on the budget board, we all have different budgets and different priorities. I'd never spend $1500 on deluxe rooms for a few days at Disney either, but plenty of folks do.

 

[drcmk]

At 12 and 15, no way would I be giving them $100/month to spend for their wants.

I really think you are missing the point. The people that go with the higher allowances are not giving their children money for day to day expenses *or* buying their children non-essentials. Some people are expecting their children to buy necessities like lunch from their allowance. It may well be that you are spending close to the amount of money that some people give as allowance directly on your children. Or it may be that you are very frugal and live in an inexpensive area.

I give my children a generous allowance but I expect them to save a specific percentage weekly (we are hoping it adds up to a first car or first computer some day) and I expect them to give some of the money to charity regularly. For us, the allowance really is a tool to teach them to manage money, which is something that a lot of young adults don't do well when they are first on their own.

I think it is great that you have given a lot of thought to how you want to teach your children about money. There is no reason for you to be overly critical of people that decide to go about it in a different manner.

 

[hambirg]

My kids don't get allowance. . .lately they're lucky if they get electricity.

 

[2TxAgs]

There is no reason for you to be overly critical of people that decide to go about it in a different manner.

I don't think I was being overly critical...in fact, I said, "these are just my thoughts and we all have different budgets and different priorities".

In fact, I live in a county with one of the highest average incomes in the NATION, but my kids still have to count pennies, which MANY of their friends do not. As you say, it's how we choose to live. I personally am appalled by the amount of cash many kids have. But I didn't say that in my original response....

 

[momx2]

I don't think I was being overly critical...in fact, I said, "these are just my thoughts and we all have different budgets and different priorities".

In fact, I live in a county with one of the highest average incomes in the NATION, but my kids still have to count pennies, which MANY of their friends do not. As you say, it's how we choose to live. I personally am appalled by the amount of cash many kids have. But I didn't say that in my original response....

You're appalled that kids have enough to go to a movie? Yes, I do pay for my daughter's lunch, but any extras like BandB bodywash and fingernail polish she buys. I wanted to stick to a $1 per age, but things are just too expensive. One movie and she is broke. I don't want her sitting at home doing nothing. She is very, very busy with soccer and already misses many, many things her friends get to do. I'm not going to make her sit home on her off nights because she doesn't have the money. Now, if I give her enough money and she chooses to spend it all frivilously and then is broke, then yes, she stays home, but that hasn't been the case.

 

[2TxAgs]

You're appalled that kids have enough to go to a movie?

Not aware that I said kids couldn't go to a movie...where do you live that a movie each weekend would run to $100/month (which was the amount I said I was dismayed by)? In fact, are there enough good movies out there to need to go to a movie each week? You said:

"She is very, very busy with soccer and already misses many, many things her friends get to do. I'm not going to make her sit home on her off nights because she doesn't have the money."

My DD also plays club soccer...and high school soccer...and is in 2 other clubs at school. In my opinion, I'm not a bad mom for not funding a movie each weekend in addition to all her other activities. She's CHOOSING to play a sport which requires a huge amount of her time, and I'm letting her learn the consequences of that. While she may miss out on some things her non-sport friends get to do, she also gets to do things they don't - like travel with her team to tournaments out of state. Now, at nearly 16, she's realizing that there are other things besides soccer that she might want to do, and she's faced with having to choose. Hey - that's what life is about - there are very few of us that get to do EVERYTHING we want to do.

I believe my way of handling things is as valid a choice as yours...it's just different.

BTW - I'm sure there are folks out there who would be appalled at how much money we soccer families spend. (Or dance families, or gymnastics families or whatever) As I said before, to each his own.

 

[momx2]

Not aware that I said kids couldn't go to a movie...where do you live that a movie each weekend would run to $100/month (which was the amount I said I was dismayed by)? In fact, are there enough good movies out there to need to go to a movie each week? You said:

"She is very, very busy with soccer and already misses many, many things her friends get to do. I'm not going to make her sit home on her off nights because she doesn't have the money."

My DD also plays club soccer...and high school soccer...and is in 2 other clubs at school. In my opinion, I'm not a bad mom for not funding a movie each weekend in addition to all her other activities. She's CHOOSING to play a sport which requires a huge amount of her time, and I'm letting her learn the consequences of that. While she may miss out on some things her non-sport friends get to do, she also gets to do things they don't - like travel with her team to tournaments out of state. Now, at nearly 16, she's realizing that there are other things besides soccer that she might want to do, and she's faced with having to choose. Hey - that's what life is about - there are very few of us that get to do EVERYTHING we want to do.

I believe my way of handling things is as valid a choice as yours...it's just different.

BTW - I'm sure there are folks out there who would be appalled at how much money we soccer families spend. (Or dance families, or gymnastics families or whatever) As I said before, to each his own.

Oh I agree with that last statement! I have said in this thread that some things work well for some families and others work for other families. It doesn't make it right or wrong. I was posting about your use of the word "appalled." I disagree with you making your daughter choose soccer or a normal social life, but I'm not "appalled" by it. I want my daughter to be able to do both, I do not want her to choose soccer or social life. I also guess we could each define what is a normal social life in different terms. It doesn't make one right or wrong, but unless you're locking your daughter in her room every weekend I wouldn't be appalled by your definition of a normal social life.

 

[polkadotsuitcase]

I think my kids might mutiny if they read how much some of their peers are receiving!

I've always struggled with the allowance thing. Part of me wants to say, "Here's $x -- you don't have a real 'job' now to earn income, so you're on the payroll just for being part of the family," and then they do chores separate from that, just because that's what being part of the family also entails. If chores aren't done, privileges are lost.

The other part of me wants to say, "Here's $x for doing your chores this week." If chores aren't done, money is lost.

...but I'd rather they just did the darn chores joyfully and willingly and not have to worry about all this...

 

[apnep]

My kids don't get an allowance. I tried giving them one a couple of years ago but it was too hard to work into the budget with paying for 2 orthodontist bills (soon to be three), Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Cub Scouts, baseball, basketball, and music lessons for two out of three kids.

My oldest wanted his own money and couldn't wait to work, so he got a job. He's timekeeper for basketball games. Now he can spend his money on whatever he wants as long a portion goes to savings.

My kids don't get new clothes unless they've outgrown the ones they have. And many times we have shopped our cousin's closets!

I am with the other parents who think $25/week is alot. At 12/13 why can't the kids just hang out with their friends and toss a football in the front? Or ride their bikes? Skate board? Play video games at the house? How about a board game? Now, we're fortunate that our community even has opportunities for our kids to work as refs/umps/timekeepers, so I don't think expecting my kid to pay for his own entertainment or new clothes with his own money is bad. (I don't expect him to pay for ALL his clothes but some), and I will admit, we are running into to new territory with a pre-teen who is high school bound and I know life's about to get more expensive even though school is "free."

I never had an allowance growing up and didn't expect one. I wanted my own money, so I got a job. I think it's also great to teach the kids that if they really want some independence then it's time to work because Mom and Dad aren't rivers of cash.

I think it’s a good idea to show the kids how we manage our finances and quite often I show them our Quicken to so they know yea, dad just got paid and now before we can have fun, we have to pay ourselves, mortgage, utilities, food, etc…it’s good for them to see that.

Now those parents that spend for club sports, (I'm appalled ) DH and I have mentioned to each other on several occasions we would never spend our money on club sports, it's expensive and the scheduling takes over your lives! On the other hand, admittedly, we probably spend just as much for all our kids’ activities, but they enjoy doing a variety of things--which by the way, the scheduling seems to have taken over our lives.

My 2 cents. I'm keeping the other $.98!

 

[neatokimmo]

DD3.5 got her first allowance yesterday. She gets $25 a month and that is her toy and check out line money. I am trying to teach her about money and what everything costs.

Except for Christmas and Birthday, Mama's purse is closed in the toy department. I know some people would be like $300! for toys! plus Christmas! But $25 is less than what I spend on her anyway every month.

Dance & gymnastics are totally separate. Not only would it look weird for a 3.5 yr old to fork over cash every month, it is 1K a year with leotards.

 

[rszdtrvl]

DH and I had a talk about it, after he agreed on $20/week, and we decided that $15 is sufficient. Per week.

DS is fine by that.

He had his first "life money lesson" this week when he wanted to buy a video game, and I wouldn't loan him the money. It just about broke my heart to see him so sad. But, 2 days later, he got his allowance, and because he had been saving his money, he could afford to buy the game.

It was hard on him and me, because I knew we couldn't just give him the extra $15 if we wanted him to learn the entire concept of an allowance.

But it all worked out, he got his game, and we are all happy!

 

[RockAndRollBallerina]

I was never given more than $20.00 a week, and I was expected to put 60%-75% of my weekly allowance into a savings account, I started getting allowance when I was 12.

 

[karice2]

I think $20 is a very reasonable amount but I do recall that my dad used to make me save 30% of any money that I earned. Started with allowance and then continued once I had a part time job. He even made me open an account at the bank and ensured that i deposited and learned about interest.

In today's economy saving should be a part of his home education.