Allow Myself To Introduce Myself, a trip report. I think. *part 5 up, page 3*

[sdy]

Part 1: And you are...???

Forgive this bold move. I’ve lurked on these boards for quite some time now but NEVER posted. Not once. Until now. Presumptuous, no? Ah, the joys of insomnia and procrastination. Yum. Will all the cool kids on the DisBoards forgive me? I suppose I’ll just have to wait and see. As for presumption, it gets better. This report is of a trip from Sept./Oct. of last year. Yes, you read that right, my new friends (again—presumption, or is it gumption?)…2005, I say. If you’re not wholly offended yet by my pushy nature, read on and meet the players.

Me: The planner, the lover.
Big Mama: The enabler, the mother.
Lil Sis: The follower, the trooper.

All adult (“lil” sis is/was 23), all in love with each other, all looking forward to some quality time as we’re unforgivably spread throughout the United States, manymanymiles apart from each other.

That’s all you need to know. Really. It’s better this way. Trust me. We don’t even like ourselves that much.

Oh yeah----I like parentheticals, but I hate exclamation points. I have no idea why that begged mentioning. Curious. Moving on.

Our story begins sometime in Spring ’05. Mama and I want to take a gals vacation, we want to go to WDW and the announcement of the free dining seals the deal. We let Lil Sis in on the plan---she doesn’t get to weigh in because if it were up to her we’d be, well, somewhere that wasn’t WDW. As stated above, I am “the planner” and "the lover" have been for a very long time. I bought my first Birnbaum’s at the age of 10 (begging forgiveness again…I was young and knew not what I’d done) and at the age of 13 organized a family meeting where I informed the higher-ups (a.k.a. my parents) where we’d be staying (Port Orleans French Quarter) and what ADR’s we’d need (HoopDeeDoo Revue, please and thank you). I even got very close to being a mouseketeer on the New Mickey Mouse Club. But that's another story for another (never...it still smarts) time.

So I hop to. I get a PDF of the restaurants on the plan, I make hotel ressies (we start by thinkin' All Star Sports, but end up heading back to POFQ) and start polling (not lil sis…she eats crap) about ADR’s to make and start checking the worldwideweb to see what’s going on there while we’re, um, there.

Allow me to take a time out and say that my mom is my best friend. I know, I know. But it’s oh so true. And what makes it true is that this is a relatively recent development. After the requisite teenage angst and painful adolescent self-discovery (on both our parts, thank you very much) we’ve come to like each other very very much. She’s a remarkably cool. I’ve always loved her, but “like”?, well, that’s cultivated for a parent and child, I think. She’s the one who miraculously got a cross-country plane ticket a mere 12 hours after I was admitted into the hospital with meningitis, who spent over a week with me when I got foot surgery and who is financing this entire trip. And those are only a few of her unconditionalloveinducedsuperwoman moves----I love that woman. And I hope to return the many, many favors many, many times over. We talk every day cuz we're pathetic. Disney planning only increases the phone bill. As for lil Sis, well...I love her bundles and bunches. When she was a child I lived for taking her to the movies, just the two of us, taking her and her friends to Six Flags and chaperoning museum trips. Now that we're older, the "like" is coming slowly but surely. 'Nuff said.

Krikey (sp?). I have no idea where that came from, but since the mush was organic, I’ll leave it. Maybe it’ll bring a tear to your eye. But if you’re anything like me, it’ll make you throw up in your mouth a little. Sorry.

Planning was a rockin’ good time, as I don’t get out much. ADR's made. Check. Plane ticket purchased (with mom’s cc). Check. Fight with Central Reservations. Check. What was that, you say? What fight? You want to know the story? Twist my arm.

Well, one day before leaving for Orlando and after making the initial arrangements, I had to call and make a change to our ressie. I don’t know what change. It was a year ago. Anywho, the young CM on the other end of the phone was quite persnickety. Somehow my first name became my middle name on the reservation and he decided that it was his Walt-given duty to keep me from screwin’ with the res. It was utterly bizarre. After some arguing and conference call with my mother, who said “I don’t know why you’re asking me any of this, I just pay. She’s been taking care of this part since she was 10”, (Told ya. Mama said it, it ain’t no lie.) all was right with the World again. I think. After a strongly worded, but polite, email to customer relations, we were richer by $50 Disney Dollars and a VIP seating at Illuminations. Yum.

Ugh, that wasn’t a really good story, was it? Forget I even mentioned it.

So we’re good. I've begged off a week of work. We’re going to the MNSSHP, Food & Wine Fest, getting from A to B via Magical Express for FREE, eating at places we (we=mom & I) have been dying to try for FREE and staying at POFQ. Target shopping, packing, luggage buying (for no reason other than $$ was burning a hole in my already singed pocket), hair styliing, manicure-ing...all done/will be done/should be done.

Now all we have to do is wait….and wait, and wait, and……

Part 2: Day 1, The first day was neither magical nor expressive but Epcot is oh so impressive. Ahem.


p.s. you seasoned Dis-ers will note that I've somewhat ganked the style of other famed trip reporters. can we just agree that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and leave it at that? love ya. mean it.

 

[KathyRN137]

 

[Disney owl]

Welcome

great 1st report/post

 

[fizz13]

Hey you're doing fine by me. One note to help you on your DIS way: write your trip faster than the others that will not be named on this board, would really help my frustration levels seeing as you seem to be another talented narrator
Claire xx

WELCOME TO THE DIS

 

[ennisb]

This is a great start, I look forward to the next updates. I enjoy reading the trip reports during lunch ... I hope there is another in time for my next lunch break

 

[sdy]

Many thanks are due to those who have read and, even more so, to those who have offered encouragement. Your kind words and generosity are ohso appreciated.

First, some housekeeping:

To fizz13: I see you’re in the UK. Did I spell “krikey” correctly?? If people like you keep popping up on this thread, then I’ll have to write quickly, now won’t I? Thanks for the tough love.

To ennisb: I’ll see what I can do to ease along your lunchtime DisBoard shenanigans as I, too, have been known to cancel many a lunch to sit in my office and browse the Dis.


Part 2: Day 1, neither magical nor expressive but Epcot is oh so impressive. Ahem.


Being the closet commando that I am, I booked myself and everyone else on flights that got us to Orlando Airport no later than 9:30 ayem. It was no small feat…3 different cities, 3 different people, 3 different airlines and yes, 3 different flight lengths. It was nothing less than Herculean effort, but I ended up triumphant in my quest. This way, we’ll have plenty of time to settle in, hit the parks and I’m happier for it. I have no idea how my mom and sis fared on their air travel, I wasn’t with them, remember? They made it to POFQ in one piece…that’s all one can ask for.

My flight, you ask? Well, my nosy cyberfriend, it was a red-eye, if you must know. Yum--love the red eyes. Seriously. Noone gabs to you. Being the raging insomniac that I am, it’s about the only time I can get a full(-ish) nights’ rest and they have free(-ish) schwag to boot. I’m happier for it. Get to MCO around 6:30 in the ayem, forgetting that I’m so not a morning person. I shuffle thru the airport, picking up the requisite (love MCO—one day I will stay in that Hilton. Hyatt?? That cool hotel in the airport...you know of what I speak) pixie dust along the way to the DME counter. My “I’ve had no coffee, haven’t smoked in 5 hours and stink of airplane but I’m slowly but surely getting stoked to be here” half-grimace, half-smirk must’ve scared the DME greeter. He actually moved to hide his giant Mickey glove behind his back as I approached for directions. At that hour, I apparently look more like a serial killer than WDW vacationer…c’est la vie.

Everything is as smooth as Johnny Walker Blue (yum) checking in and getting to the World. Not many people are crazy enough to show up at (gank alert, thanks kpk89) waytooearlythirty. Have a smoke, hop on the bus, tune into my iPod cuz it’s waytooearlytotalktostrangers in the morning. Watch the promo video on the bus, kind of. Get to the resort praying to the Universe that I can get a room. I prepped for this part…I’m “the planner”, remember? Days before, I’d alerted POFQ of my queenly yet blaringly early arrival and begged on bended knee that I have a place to rest my weary head and wait for the fam to arrive. They ohsokindly obliged.

Check in, collect keys to the world at front desk. Check.
Soak up Disney atmosphere on way to room. Check.
Pass out on bed for 20 minutes. Check.
Go get honking coffee as large as my head. Check.
Shower and change stinky airplane clothes. Ahhh, bloody hell.

Despite the many warnings I read, I forgot to pack my necessities in a carry on bag. I get to stink and sport jammies (yes, I fly in my jammies) until my bag magically arrives at my hotel room. Which should be any minute now, right? Bah.

My sister arrives. It occurs to me when I open the door that I haven’t seen her in 18 months. Oy…can’t let that happen again. And she’s TINY. I mean really small, she could pass for age 12. And I'd forgotten because I haven't seen her in 18 months. I mention this because…well, I want to. Deal with it. Love that girl. Mean it.

My sister’s bag arrives. Whatwhatwhat? How is that possible? She landed two whole long arduous stinky hours after I did. How is this fair? And she doesn’t shower daily (not kidding), cares not about airplanestink and hence, doesn’t need her bag. Get with the program people. My sister and I go to sleep watching Lifetime (howzabout some HBO, Disney?) waiting for the mom’s arrival. Mom arrives, stumble out of bed, bear hug her. My bag? Nope, not there yet. Knock at the door…

It’s. My. Mom’s. Suitcase.
Arriving a mere 10 minutes after she did.
I’ve been there for 4 hours.
BAH. Why do the DME gods hate me?
I even tipped the driver. I’ve done nothing to offend thee.

Patient though I may be, DME is really getting under my airplane marinated skin at this point. Calls are made. Bag is ultimately located at, AHEM, the airport. I’m tired of shuffling around in my Uggs (don’t judge) and really really really want to get to a park. Or the pool. Or anything. But, alas, I can’t. The loverly POFQ CM’s offered me a gift cert to get whatever I needed to get the show on the road but, being on crack, I declined. The bag arrives around 2P. I pledge my love to the awesome CM at Bell Services who so doggedly tracked down my beloved suitcase. My plan to have a full(ish) day is foiled. Ah well, c’est la vie. I'm in Disney and happier for it.

Shower. Check.
Change and burn stinky clothes. Check.

By the by, while lovely, the rooms at POFQ are on the small-ish side, particularly the double (!!) beds. We ended up renting a cot so that the three of us could sleep comfortably and not on top of each other…it ain’t that kind of party. Just something to keep in mind…three adults can indeed fit into a POFQ room, but the question is, really, should they? You decide. Ye now be properly warned.

Off to Epcot for our ADR at Chefs de France and VIP seating at Illuminations. Yum.

And yes, Epcot is so impressive. I literally skipped through that heinous stone garden, where hard-earned tourist money goes to die, upon arrival. But more about that later, when I’m not ducking my many real life responsibilities.

Part 3: Later, that same day (one).
Hot french waiters, cool fireworks and why Big Mama hates Spaceship Earth.

 

[PrincessA]

Your confession of being a perpetual lurker has encouraged me to post! Loved your trip report . Must have MORE!

 

[fizz13]

That part was even funnier than the first, good job! Not bad on the "krikey" just change k to c = crikey. The "bloody hell" was spot on, can only think you have been watching young Ron Weasley in Harry Potter, am I right?
Will hope for more soon but understand that you have a reality to get back to,
Claire xx

 

[ZZUB]

Already throwing up a little in your mouth? Good for you. You obviously have been lurking for a while. I've enjoyed the first two installments and I'm looking forward to more. Except I'm worried that you find Epcot impressive. That's of some concern.

We don't know what this means, but assume it's something good.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

OK. Here I am. Again. Following another riveting thread I have absolutely NO-TIME for. Thanks.

 

[sdy]

Aw, shucks you guys. This has been an awesome day of ignoring work to be done and messing around on my computer. Thanks oh so for the kudos/kindness/encouragement. After the first post, I psychotically checked my computer every 10 minutes (at 5 ayem thankyouverymuch) to see if this was to go down as the worst, least interesting TR in DisHistory. Thankfully, that doesn’t seem to be its fate. Thankyouthankyouthankyou.

Uh, oh. Did I just jinx myself? No matter.

Now…

Zzub!! Whoa. I’m thrilled you found your way here. And yes, be afraid. Be very afraid. I adore Epcot. Not because it has much to offer, but exactly because it doesn’t. What a way to spend a day and still be at Disney, no? Think about it…
Ugh. I'm going to get flamed for this, aren't I? Remember, I said that I am an Epcot fan, people. Just my humble opinion, m'okay? LY/MI

Fizz13: I don’t know you, but I’m really lovin’ you. THANKS! And yes, you’re right. My anglophile tendencies dictate that I know the Harry Potter verbatim.

DisneyWorldDelight: So sorry to impose, my new friend. If it makes you feel any better, your rockin’ TR has heavily infringed on my time as well. So consider this me getting even.

PrincessA, DisneyOwl, KathyRN137: Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!


Part 3: Later, that same day (one).
Hot french waiters, cool fireworks and why Big Mama hates Spaceship Earth.


When we left off, the fam & I were heading to Epcot.
But that’s wrong. So kindly rewind to when we were patiently (bah!) waiting for the angry DME gods to produce my beloved suitcase. Remember that? If not, go back and read part 2.

Hurry.

Waiting.

You read slow…I’m going to keep on truckin’ and you’ll have to catch up with the rest of the class during recess.


Whilst waiting, we were starving. Not literally, that’s just a figure of speech. But we were really quite hungry. So we headed down to the Sassagoula Float Works skipping joyfully arm-in-arm (not really…nice image though, no?) to give the FREE dining plan a whirl. The food was as tasty as a hotel commissary can be, I suppose. It’s free, I’m hungry---you’ll hear no complaints from me. While sitting and eating (not sure what..it was a year ago for pete’s sake) I showed off my newest tattoo to Mama. She’s not a fan of the tats, but they’re tasteful and I ain’t sportin’ no sleeve or anything of the like. Before this last one (my third) they were conspicuous but small. Well, this last one got bigger. It’s two angels, with my grandparents’ (her parents) names underneath, on my shoulder. Mama loved the sentiment, hated the permanent ink. She then turns to Lil Sis and asks, “What’s your tattoo of?”. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha….ahem. Sorry. Sis had been hiding that tat from Mama for over a year now. Take a lesson---mothers are all knowing, all seeing and always right. It’s to do with the pregnancy hormones, I think. Sis fesses up, I purchase a (gank alert, thanks zzub) DMVCM and we bid adieu to the floatworks clutching the “receipt”, laughing hysterically, all the way back to our room.

Fast forward, we’re off to Epcot.
Bus stop wait was uneventful.
Trip to park was uneventful.
Epcot was a sight to behold.
We're at Disney. YippeeKayYayYaa and all that.

Big stupid grin on my face (I’ve been practicing for 30 years to not show so much gum, but it’s still not become muscle memory….bah), we make our way through AHEM “security” and enter the park. Happy songs play in my head as I skip dumbly through the cash graveyard b.k.a. Leave a Legacy Monument Garden or whatever that scam-y eyesore is. Straight back to World Showcase for us. We’ve got French food to eat.

Check in, giggle at all those who were without the wherewithal to make an ADR, wait a short while, smoke a cig and are called to be seated. In walks, um, let’s call him Francois. Yum. I flirt shamelessly, drink copiously, throw out the meager high school French I know (“C’est finis” accompanied by furiously batting eyelashes) and eat pretty good food---I never get to have escargot, so I seized this opportunity with speed and alacrity.

I drag out dinner as long as I possibly can (Francois!!), but my beloved travel companions (at this point I’m not kind enough to consider them family) hurry me out of the restaurant, forcing me to choke down Crème Brulee. Though a bit substandard, this is a desert that should be savored and we’ve got 6 days to go and only ONE Francois. What’s the hurry? Bah. I’m slightly cheered by the “receipt” (bwah ha! to you, Disney) and we take off to wander around the world and search out exactly where this superspecialwerockandyoudon’t VIP Illuminations seating is.

There is nary a CM who has a clue. Curious, no? “Excuse me, can you please tell me where we go to check in for Illuminations?” “M’am, Illuminations is not a reserved show”. “Yes, I know. But customer relations made special arrangements for VIP seating for our family”. Blank Stare. Ah, well. Onto the next. After about an hour of wandering, drinking, shopping and inquiring we were successful in sussing out the elusive Illuminations VIP area. Good times.

After some more shopping, drinking and wandering we settled into our superspecialwerockandyoudon’t VIP Illuminations seating, somewhere near Germany, I think. Don’t test me…it’s been awhile. Hold up, it was Germany---I know cuz I had a beer. HA. The show is quite good. Weirdly, my favorite part is when the narrator “blows out” all the torches around the lagoon. Really cool, that.

My phone rings halfway through the show (don’t judge me) and it’s my best friend calling disguised as Mickey Mouse. Ain’t she a doll? Absolutely. I immediately hang up on her cuz the show was happening and she, at that precise moment, wasn’t in jail or in need of an organ transplant. Buh-bye to you. Love ya. Mean it.

The show ends, we grin like silly fools. Wander, drink, call back wonderfully inconsiderate best friend (who has no interest in anything Disney. The yin to my yang, I suppose)….all the while slowly making our way back to the entrance to hop a bus to POFQ. Quick aside….the pro of POFQ versus POR, you ask? The bus service. It’s a smaller resort, so POFQ residents tend to be first picked up and first dropped off. We almost never stood up. Loverly, indeed.

By the time we hit Future World, we discover it’s EMH. Score. Can’t brag about my planning prowess at this point, however the stars did align in our favor. Well, I’m consistently planning for aligning stars, so there. We hop on Test Track, in the singles line cuz we’re cool like that. Good ride. Not as action packed as I expected, but that’s not Disney’s fault, it’s my own. Wander over to Soarin’ which must’ve had a phenomenal wait cuz we didn’t ride at that point. Then collectively decide that it had been a long day, indeed, and our weary bodies would be much happier resting at our home way from home rather than stomping through the megalopolis that is Epcot. But first, we have to ride Spaceship Earth. I adore Spaceship Earth---for me, it’s iconic. I like the relaxing vibe, the cheesy song and the continuous load (that is so key). We spy NO LINE and excitedly make our way up to load….without mama. What? I know. For some reason (still don’t know why) she has a massive allergy to this attraction. We even tried physically pulling her forward up the walkway. Her response was to (literally) scream and forcibly pull away. Weird. So sis and I happily left her crazybehind behind and enjoyed ourselves some Spaceship Earth.

Point of fact, I don’t believe in hating rides at Disney. I believe in skipping rides, in not being fond of certain attractions (Stitch’s Great Escape. Not in the least bit tasty) and I definitely believe in not waiting for abovementioned fare. But, c’mon. Spaceship Earth?? Just go with the flow, you weirdo. Love ya. Mean it.

We finally get out of Epcot, get back to the resort via $10 cab cuz the bus line stretched to Buffalo, shuffle to room via gift shop where I first spy the $80 5 disc Resort DVD box set. Yum. I fill up ye olde DMVCM and head up to the room for some shut eye…it’s been a blisteringly long day. Oh yeah, did I mention how hot it was? Really hot. And I don’t do shorts. I’m not complaining, I’m just sayin’…


NEXT UP. Part 4: Day 2, Doin’ the native walk of shame at Animal Kingdom.

 

[abe_froman]

a fellow insomniac!

enjoying the trip report, looking forward to the next installment...

this is all that is good in the world:

 

[tiki23]

Loving your TR! Even if you've "ganked" from other writers, you've put it all together in grand style.

 

[FigmentKid]

Great TR! I can't believe you remember as many details as you do!!

 

[KathyRN137]

SDY---I'll say one thing; you've got a good memory! I have resolved to take notes on next trip for My 1st TR--to me WDW vacations would be just big, beautiful blurs were it not for the meager # of photos I remember to take!!

 

[Master Gracie]

I have thoroughly enjoyed your first 3 installments. Eagerly awaiting the next.

Forgive Zzub his Epcot aversion...we all have our little oddities. That is his.

 

[Cinerama]

Great so far....I'll be looking for more. Thanks!!

 

[MissK]

Fantastic report so far! What is it with the name Francois? Never met an ugly Francois yet.

 

[sdy]

Hello, all.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Thanks so much for reading, perusing, posting and encouraging. I dunno what else to say other than that I'm thrilled and flabbergasted that each of you has so generously devoted some of your valuable time to my disramblings.


Abe_froman: You have a rockin' screen name...very well done. Double yum. And thank you!! I'll be curious if you're reading at this hour that I'm posting, as we're both of the brethern of the sleepless.

Figmentkid & KathyRN137: First off, thanks oh so for reading. Secondly, my memory is only good when it comes to disthings. A major frustration to all who spend considerable amounts of time with me.

MasterGracie: So very very glad you wandered over this way...
And I'll forgive Zzub if he forgives me. See if you can negotiate a peace treaty, will you?

Mmmm...MasterGracie and Zzub in the same thread. Yum.

MissK: You said Francois!!! For that, you get this...

 

[sdy]

Day 2: Doin' the native walk of shame at Animal Kingdom


Remember when I said I was a closet commando? It’s true. But you know what I like better than Disney? Sleep. And vacations. So we took it easy the entire time. I had the idea in my head that we were going to be up, at it and ready to rumble early in the ayem like good little DisSoldiers but when I rolled over in my youhavethenervetocallthisabed cot (the things I do to keep the peace with lil Sis) and spied my travel companions (still haven’t forgiven them for the Francois (!!) of it all---kin, they are not) still soundly sleeping at whatever hour I rolled and spied, I decided that my youhavethenervetocallthisabed cot was more comfortable than the physical pummeling that is Disney touring and went back to sleep.

Note the above parenthetical within a parenthetical. Yum.

By the by, this is a big deal this putting away of the DisWhip (not to be confused with Dole Whip) and taking it as it comes while at the happiest, busiest, most crowded of things to do place on Earth. Case in point, the year Animal Kingdom opened, I got three hotel rooms worth of people awake, dressed and moving at 5 ayem so as to be at the gates and ready to hit Kilimanjaro Safaris at the DisCrack of dawn. Wishing I’d learned my lesson then---we saw all of 5 (don’t quote me, it was years ago…you get the point) animals. And even though the decision to relax was made in my head, my body itched profusely as if attacked by a flesh-eating parasite (assuming you itch while your flesh is being eaten). What do you MEAN we’re not going to be at the parks at opening??? EAT FIRST?!?!? For the love of all that is good and pure, you can eat at the park---and WALK AT THE SAME TIME. Multi-task, people!!! This is NO TIME FOR A BATHROOM BREAK---the wait for Space Mountain is only ten minutes, you can go after. ARRRRRGH. Itch, itch, itch. Scratch, scratch, scratch. These shouts and murmurs (more shouts than murmurs) went on in my head the entire time we were at the World. By the time our “vacation” ended, my skin was raw. Not really--- I’m given to hyperbole.

Anywho. We skulked out of bed at a meandering pace and made our “complimentary” in room coffee. Itch, scratch, itch. Three women primping ain’t no quick task. But alas we were outta there. And off to Animal Kingdom. Did we eat breakfast? Dunno. Stop at the gift shop? Probably. Horrendous bus experience? Doubt it.

Get to Animal Kingdom. Stop and have a cig on the way in. Bah. MOVE IT PEOPLE. Yes, I even get itchy and scratchy (see above...not the meta-cartoon "Simpsons" cartoon characters) when I’m the one making us late to the party. C’est la vie. I’m happier for it.

Straight off, we walk at a fast clip back to Kiimanjaro Safaris. Very short wait…no FP necessary. Sweet. And we saw lots of animals. I mean tons. And a giraffe was so close to our vehicle that I could’ve touched it if I were one who commonly thwarted rules and regulations. I'm not. And we saved Little Red. A clue as to how my brain works? No pixie dust happiness at this moment for me…I immediately go into Jane Goodall wannabe mode and mourn the loss of the many animals that aren’t saved. Not funny, just morose point of fact.

Disembark the ride. Shuffle along Pangani Trail, which we’d never done before---was it there the year AK opened?? How did we miss this? Let me take a moment to say that I despise zoos. They make me sad. I’m soo not into the whole living in cages and on concrete aspect of it all, though I do understand, not mention appreciate, the whole learning facet. I also recognize that there are many animals that would be extinct be it not for these concrete caged facilities. Still, they make me sad. And I eat meat. Voraciously. Fascinating, no? Me and Travis Bickle---both walking contradictions, we are.

Anyway, I raise this point because Animal Kingdom (though not a “zoo”...I know, I know) didn’t once make me sad (except for the momentary Little Red backlash). These folks do it right. Along the trail I noted how well these animals are cared for and how considerate said care is (there were some animals, type of which escape me, which were not in the viewing area because they were out roaming in the savannah…very very nice). Hung out on the trail, lovin’ it, especially the gorillaz. (I know I spelled it wrong, but I wanted to give a shout out to one of my favorite bands. Deal with it.)

Leave the trail to go (itch) eat (scratch). At the Tusker House, I think. Tasty eats were had, I know. Shopped some at the nearby gift shop. My little charges (at the time I was nannying) got many a gift. From each park. Because I like to spoil the little loves. They’re like my own, those two. I made a point of fulfilling every request that they submitted…even the limited edition Tinkerbell doll. And my mom got in on the action, calling me from DTD stores asking me if “my” girl’s ears were pierced and who’s her favorite character. Told ya she’s a rockin’ lady.

The other critical shopping task that had to be accomplished was to find and purchase a button. Lil Sis was carrying a bag that had an AHEM expletive (not one of the worst, but still…) on it. I was mortified and determined to find a way to cover the offense. Little did I know how remarkably hard it is to find a plain ol’ button at the World. Not easy, I tell you. After 14 hours (give or take 12) of tirelessly searching we came across the AK Conservation Button. I exhaled, and off we went to get a drink and a smoke. By the African dancers.

Big mistake.

Whilst drinking and smoking, a show in the marketplace commenced. We edged a bit (and I mean only a bit) forward to take it all in. Moments later, I duck my head and pretend to not be engaged, all the while psychotically chanting “No, no, no, no, no…”. Lil Sis asks what’s up (not as nice as all that, though) and I explain that I seem to have caught one of the performers eye and it seems that he was headed (making a beeline actually) my way. BAH. I both love and detest the spotlight, but at the core of me am inherently shy. I don’t do unrehearsed public performances, thankyouverymuch. The offender forcibly whisked me to “stage” amidst applause by onlookers who had spied my intense mortification. "We" danced. It was interminable and I know for a fact that I sported the dumbest, goofiest smile ever captured on film the entire time. And yes, I showed too much gum. Mom took pictures that I don’t have and wouldn’t share anyway of me halfheartedly attempting some native moves. My sister laughed at me, the crowd dismissed me (they assumed I was too cool for school. not true. And I don't have to explain myself to them anyway, so there). Traumatic? No. Highly embarrasing? Yes. I LOVED being picked but HATED being on stage. Like I said...me and Travis B. Suffice it to say, I got out of dodge as quickly as humanly possible. Oh yeah, did I mention that it was hotter than Francois outside and the above-mentioned offender was sweating profusely hence there was unforgivable, shudder worthy and prolonged skintoskin contact? Ugh, ick and eww. Love ya, African dancing guy. Mean it.

Shamewalk to the ride formerly known as Dinosaur where I calmed the nerves (former nanny, remember?) of a little one who was more than trepidatious to join in the fun. “Wanna hear a secret?” Tear filled eyes, hopeful nod. “All the dinosaurs are PUPPETS!” Appreciative giggle. On the ride I make a point to replicate the same expression I had on my face when I first rode almost 7 years ago. Why? Dunno. And yes, I was successful(ish). And yes, I bought the photo.

Ride some more rides (Primeval Whirl hurts), get lost more than a couple of times, clean up some tourist litter (yes, it's true) and head out. Back to the hotel (I think). Gift shop detour (I’m almost positive) and off to an uneventful, unremarkable dinner at Planet Hollywood. There was drinking, though, so that’s good. And, clutching our BWHA!HA! reciept, we cackled all the way out the door and on to do some DTD roaming which was really really good. Shopping, dancing in the streets at Pleasure Island---you know the drill. Excellent times.

The day/night ended with us dragging ourselves back to POFQ and to room via gift shop with obligatory DMVCM fill-up stop and, finally, off to sleep. With Lifetime on in the background. Bah.


Next Up, Part 5: Day 3. MGM or How I Learned To Stop Caring and Love The Aerosmith