All relationship experts, please apply...

[noseybuddy]

No doubt in my mind that she needs to DUMP the pig. I rather be alone then be with scum like that. What happened with the married couple. Did the wife forgive him?

 

[Buckalew11]

I'd dump him. Being fdrunk can make her feel better, I suppose, but really, what will happen the next time he's drunk and away from her (& he wasn't even *away* from her this time). Yep, I'd dump him asap.

 

[poohqueen]

I don't think I could forgive him if it were me. I would always remember that, and I wouldn't trust him after that. If you don't have trust then you don't have anything really. I hate when people use the being drunk as an excuse, as far as I am concerned being drunk is not a good enough excuse. I agree with the others that he is just sorry that he got caught.

 

[Jennifer S]

I caught my boyfriend kissing another girl 18 years ago (in college). We were at a party and he kissed this girl as I walked in. I was very upset. Granted we were together only three months (not 5 years nor did we live together) at the time. I forgave him.

Fast forward 18 years- he's truly a great husband now. We still joke about it-I made him pay for years! He just said he was young and foolish. I think we all make mistakes. I could possibly forgive in this situation buy it would be tough. If it is truly out of character for this guy I'd say cut him some slack - but very little. If it looks like a pattern or happened before I'd say get rid of him fast.

Nice guys do make some mistakes - rotten ones make a ton.

 

[Rajah]

I'm going to jump in for the "depends on the past" crowd here.

If this was his one and only (caught) mistake, I'd forgive but NOT forget. And he'd have a LOT of making up to do.

If he has a history of anything like this, even once before, BYE!

 

[MosMom]

I would probably dump him. Easier said than done I know.

DH (bf at the time) once kissed another girl after a fight. We had said something like "Well, maybe we shouldn't be together then" "Maybe not" "Fine" "Bye". Then he turns around and kisses some tart! He had to do some major sucking up but we joke about it now because of that Friends episode where Ross says "WE WERE ON A BREAK". That is his excuse. He only got a 2nd chance on a technicality (and because he was so darn cute).

 

[arminnie]

Even if it was just once, etc, etc. - hopefully she can do better because it sounds like his biggest fault is that he is plain STUPID.Spending the rest of your life with STUPID is almost as bad as spending the rest of your life with a cheater.

 

[MosMom]

How old is this guy?

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

This is a time for some serious reflection on their part. They should examine what it is they want from their relationship, and are they on two different pages? I say, they should seek counselling. My friends did this and then the husband decided he didn't want to be married anymore. Granted, they are not marrried, but should they even consider this as a viable option. She and he should be looking at their relationship now.

 

[Disney Doll]

Actually they do want to be married, but she was married before which didn't work out so good and is gun shy. So they are holding off.

Didn't seem too shy with the babe by the hot tub.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Didn't seem too shy with the babe by the hot tub.

What's that supposed to mean. It's the OPs friend who is gun shy, not the guy.

Put me in the "it depends" category. I am inclined to agree with Snoopy though and he would be watched VERY closely.

 

[noseybuddy]

I'm sorry but he makes me sick. You have some sense of what you are doing when you are drunk. He knew that wasn't his girlfriend and he knew it was wrong in what he was doing, but he chose to do it anyway. His drinking just gave him more nerve to do what he wanted, which he probably thought about before at some time. There is no excuse for what he did. He did it and he can't take it back. His actions were totally disrespectful to his girlfriend. She can go better.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I'd chalk it up to drunken idiocy and try to forget it.

I'd hardly call a 3 second peck a full fledged kiss.

I think they were all drunk, stupid and none of them probably would have remembered in the morning if your friend hadn't seen it. It seems like a very stupid thing to end an otherwise good relationship over.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Eh. I could forgive a kiss I think. He'd have to worship the ground I walked on for a good long while though.....

ITA.

 

[noseybuddy]

I think it is a big deal if you have been dating for 5 years and 2 of those years living together. It isn't like causal dating. Sorry, he should have thought before he acted. And if he is that stupid why would she want him anyway.

 

[noseybuddy]

I'd chalk it up to drunken idiocy and try to forget it.

I'd hardly call a 3 second peck a full fledged kiss.

I think they were all drunk, stupid and none of them probably would have remembered in the morning if your friend hadn't seen it. It seems like a very stupid thing to end an otherwise good relationship over.

If the relationship was good he would have been in bed with his girlfriend kissing her, not sitting in a hot tub with two other women and then decided to top it off with a kiss.

 

[poohandwendy]

I guess I am just scratching my head at the fact that she sat and watched them for 45 minutes without going down to hang out with them. Maybe she had suspicions? I dunno. Either way, sounds like they have some issues to work out. I wouldn't say that she should or should not leave him based on what I am reading. Only she knows him well enough to make that call.

 

[Caradana]

I'd be done. In my mind, I'm either #1 to him, or I'm out the door. If this is a five year relationship with no ring and he's pulling this stuff, he isn't worth it. The highest quality guys are the ones who get misty-eyed with love when they're a little buzzed (trust me, they're out there) I feel for her. That's rough. I hope she can cover the rent if he moves out.

 

[Poohgirl]

NOW, how you deal with your DH's defense of this incidence... Is he not smart enought to at least PRETEND to agree that this behavior is not acceptable, to you, his wife????

Oh no, he's not MY husband! All close friends of mine. No, the guys both pretty much agreed that it was completely unacceptable, they were tanked, and showed no judgement with a goodnight kiss. He fessed up to his wife after getting home.

 

[Poohgirl]

No doubt in my mind that she needs to DUMP the pig. I rather be alone then be with scum like that. What happened with the married couple. Did the wife forgive him?

All I know so far is that she is not happy and he's been on the couch!